comfort zone

Navigating Self-Doubt: Guiding Clients to Unleash Their Potential

 in quote  tagged coach / coaches / coaching / comfort zone / quote / Thought / Vincent Van Gogh
The background is done in the style of a Vincent Van Gogh oil painting of a sky. This means there are swirling blues, yellows and touchings of white representing a nights sky. A semi-transparent grey rectangle, with rounded corners sits over the middle. The black text on that reads: "If you hear a voice within you saying, "You are not a painter," then by all means paint, boy, and that voice will be silenced, " (Vincent Van Gogh)

The quote for today is:

“If you hear a voice within you saying, ‘You are not a painter,’ then by all means paint, boy, and that voice will be silenced.” (Vincent Van Gogh)

In the realm of coaching, Vincent Van Gogh’s words shared in a 1883 letter points towards lsitening to your own inner wisdom as well as that voice of self doubt. A journey many clients embark upon, with the guidance of their coaches.

As coaches, we often encounter individuals whose aspirations are stifled by their own insecurities and fears. Our role is not merely to offer solutions but to facilitate a transformative journey towardself-discovery and empowerment. In light of this, let’s delve into the questions raised:

How do you encourage your clients to step outside of their comfort zone?

Let me take a moment to discus comfort zones. The most common way I’ve come across the use of comfort zones is when discussing learning. Visualize three concentric circles stacked on top of each other. The innermost circle represents the comfort zone, where individuals feel at ease and familiar with a particular skill or situation. It is typically associated with minimal pressure and stress levels. The next circle, labeled stretch/learning, signifies the area where individuals are pushing the boundaries of their perceived or actual abilities, venturing into new territories. This can generate a mix of excitement, discomfort, and mild anxiety. Finally, the outermost circle is often referred to as panic or overwhelm, which is not conducive to effective learning.

Encouraging clients to step outside their comfort zones is a delicate yet essential aspect of coaching. It involves creating a safe and supportive environment where clients feel empowered to explore new possibilities and challenge self-imposed limitations. Techniques such as reframing limiting beliefs, setting achievable goals, and celebrating progress can help instill confidence and motivate clients to embrace unfamiliar territory.

When I first started coaching, my approach focused on expanding comfort zones and encouraging clients to step into the stretch/learning zone. This approach remains relevant and is still an option to explore in any coaching situation. However, I’ve also come to recognize the power of understanding that we live in the feeling of our thinking. Exploring the energy of thought and how our experience is directly linked to it has become an integral aspect of my coaching practice. Recognizing that our thinking can sometimes be an unreliable indicator of actual reality enables clients to naturally see through and question the illusions created by their thoughts, using the feeling as an indication of when they have drifted off track.

As I continue to evolve as a coach, I’ve found that incorporating this understanding into my practice has profound implications. It allows me to guide clients in exploring thinking and understanding the impact they have on their emotions and actions. By recognizing that our feelings are a reflection of our thinking in the moment, clients can gain a newfound awareness that empowers them to navigate challenges with clarity and resilience. Instead of being consumed by doubt or fear, they can observe their thoughts with curiosity and compassion, knowing that they hold the key to unlocking their potential.

This shift in perspective fosters a deeper level of self-awareness and self-trust, enabling clients to tap into their innate wisdom and make choices aligned with their values and aspirations. Ultimately, it’s about guiding clients to access their inner guidance system, where intuition and insight pave the way forward. By cultivating this awareness of the interconnectedness of thought, feeling, and action, coaching becomes a transformative journey of self-discovery and empowerment.

How does that relate to comfort zones? Well sometimes all it takes is a new thought and that comfort zone expands naturally. Skills can still be developed and learning take place but it doesn’t always have to feel like hard work to push that edge of the circle out some more. I think that the experience that Van Gough is describing is that comfort zone expanding.

How do you motivate someone to pursue their passion despite their self-doubts?

In the quote Van Gogh talks about “a voice within you saying ‘you are not a painter'”, one label that could be put onto that is self-doubt. Motivating clients to pursue their passions in the face of self-doubt requires a combination of empathy, encouragement, and strategic guidance. By helping clients identify their core values, desires, strengths, and aspirations, coaches can inspire a sense of purpose and direction. Additionally, providing actionable strategies, accountability, and ongoing support can empower clients to overcome obstacles and stay focused on their goals.

Similarly to what I pointed to in the earlier section – those thoughts we often label self doubt can loose the power if we begin to see them not as an omnipitent judge but just as falible as any other thought that passes by.

Where do you start when working with a client who doesn’t believe in their own potential?

When working with clients who doubt their potential, it’s essential to establish a foundation of trust and rapport. Coaches can start by listening attentively to their clients’ concerns, validating their experiences, and acknowledging their strengths. From there, coaches can collaboratively identify areas for growth, set realistic expectations, and co-create a personalized action plan tailored to the client’s needs and aspirations. There’s the opportunity to explore who the client really is, to allow them to identify their own knowing, wisdom and creativity at a pace and speed that’s right for them.

In conclusion, the journey of overcoming self-doubt and embracing one’s potential is a deeply personal and transformative process. As coaches, we have the privilege and responsibility to guide our clients through this journey with compassion, insight, and unwavering support. By cultivating a nurturing coaching relationship and empowering clients to believe in themselves, we can help them unleash their full potential and achieve their greatest aspirations. So, let’s heed Van Gogh’s timeless advice and encourage our clients to paint their own masterpiece, silencing the voice of doubt and embracing the brilliance within.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.

Beyond the Comfort Zone: Coaching and the Courage from Within

 in quote  tagged Aesop / coach / coaching / comfort zone / courage / quote / Thought
A silhuted figure is stood with their back to the viewer. There is a glowing light source in front of them. A break in some clouds reveals the golden light source against a gainst a greeny blue sky. There are clouds that look like they are parting towards the light source from where the individual is stood. The clouds get darker towards the side of the image and the bottom to corners of the image is black. The text above the light source reads "It is easy to be brave from a safe distance." (Aesop)

Today’s quote of the day is:

“It is easy to be brave from a safe distance.” (Aesop)

Today’s quote of the day by Aesop appealed to me with regards to the with the world of coaching as I think it points to the experience many clients can feel at some point in the process.

Courage in Uncomfortable Spaces:

In the realm of coaching, clients often seek support precisely because they find themselves in uncomfortable situations or are challenging the norms that they feel have defined their lives. It’s easy to be brave when the challenges are at a safe distance, but I feel its imprortant to acknowledge the courage that emerges when faced with any discomfort of personal growth and change. Coaches play a pivotal role in creating a safe and supportive environment where clients can explore these uncharted territories.

Understanding the Battles:

A key aspect of coaching is recognising that everyone is fighting their own battles. Clients bring their fears, uncertainties, and challenges to the coaching relationship, seeking guidance on how to navigate them. Establishing trust and providing support I feel are essential components of coaching. Approaching each client with an open mind, actively listening to their stories, and standing by them as they take what can feel like a leap of faith contributes to the transformative power of coaching. I often think that part of my job description can include a profesional hand holder – providing reassurance if a “wobble” occurs.

Empathy and Perception:

While it’s crucial not to entirely adopt a client’s perception of a situation, empathy remains a powerful tool in coaching. Even if a challenge seems less intimidating from the coach’s perspective, understanding and acknowledging the client’s perception fosters a deeper connection. It’s an invitation to empathize with their feelings and fears, creating a more compassionate coaching relationship.

The Safety of Our Thoughts:

Aesop’s quote also prompts reflection on the ways we can scare ourselves with our thinking. Even when physically safe, we are quite capable of thinking stories that induce fear and anxiety. Coaches and those on the journey of self-improvement can explore the impact of thoughts and those narratives, recognizing that sometimes the greatest hurdles are the stories we tell ourselves.

Prompting Personal Reflection:

Now, it’s your turn. What does Aesop’s quote inspire in you? How does it resonate with your experiences in coaching or even personal development in general? Share your thoughts and reflections in the comments below.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.

Be a Masterful Change Agent: Mind the Gap

 in Guest Post  tagged change / comfort zone / Gail Gaspar / mind the gap

In today’s guest post coach Gail Gaspar, inspired by a recant visit, shares some of her experience and knowledge.

Be a Masterful Change Agent:

Mind the Gap

By Gail Gaspar

"Be a Masterful Change Agent: Mind the Gap" by Gail Gaspar

Can you recall a time when you visited someplace for the first time?

Chances are, you couldn’t wait to get up and greet the day. You may have experienced a tingly sense of fiery energy in anticipation of the unknown.

We will contrast this with what happens when we think about making changes in everyday life.

First, a travel story.

My husband and I visited London for the first time recently.

As someone who reveres words, it was striking to be in another English speaking country, yet experience brand new words and new uses for old words.

Some examples: The word bespoke is applied everywhere, from bespoke haircuts to tea. I had to look up its definition, which is “made to individual order.” And the word sorry tumbles off the tongue with great frequency. It appears as if the Brits apologize for “their bad” and mine.

My favorite British expression, hands-down, is Mind the Gap.

Mind the Gap is broadcast on the speaker systems before every Tube station stop. It’s posted on signs above every train door. It’s painted on the railway platform as you step off the train. Mind you, unlike with the metro in Washington, D.C., the actual distance between the train and the platform was very small. The expression got hold of me. My imagination was off and running with the power and potential of these three little words, only ten letters in all.

What does this mean, Mind the Gap? My interpretation is to make a conscious effort to be present and be responsible for taking the step from where you are (on the train) to where you want to go (the platform).

And why does Mind the Gap matter?

Your brain is a drama queen.

Think about it. What happened the last time you told yourself you wanted to make a change from something familiar – a driving route, a relationship, a job, a piece of furniture – to something as yet unknown?

Your brain makes a ruckus. It’s enough to shut the station down.

It’s been my experience that the brain would much rather worry about the future or ruminate on the past than be present.

Want to outsmart your brain?

The brain will rant, quite persuasively, that the gap between what you’ve been doing and what you want to do is GINORMOUS. Sometimes this may be the case but 99 percent of the time, it is simply not so.

Give your brain something time and scope limited to tackle.

Step off the train. The train is so very good at getting you from one station to the next, but would you consider staying on to the end of the line because you were afraid to take the little step off at your station stop? The next step is often smaller than it appears.

Getting out of your comfort zone is a good thing.

There are those who would rather stick with the job and lifestyle circumstances they’re in because the tracks are familiar. There are business owners who would rather continue to operate as they have been for years. By minding the gap, even just a little, you’ll be amazed at what you and your business can do that was just beyond your comfort zone.

Three simple words: Mind The Gap

The best way I know to grow is to spice up your experience with something new. It might be taking a vacation or varying your route to work.

Remember, when you know how to mind the gap, you have the power grow in ways you can’t possibly imagine…yet.

How would the Mind the Gap perspective help you stretch out of a comfort zone? Tell us in the comments below!

About Gail Gaspar

Gail Gaspar, M.A., is a certified career transformation coach and entrepreneur. She helps high-achieving service professionals pivot to the next-stage career role that results in greater joy, impact and revenue.

You may contact her for a free 20 minute consultation at http://gailgaspar.com/request-for-coaching/.  You may also get her bi-monthly doses of inspiration, career strategies and bonus download at http://gailgaspar.com/

 

 

Comfort Zone, Zone of Certainty

 in Guest Post  tagged certainty / comfort zone / happiness / Moisés Pérez Cosgaya

In this weeks guest post coach and mentor Moisés Pérez Cosgaya shares some of his expertise:

Comfort Zone, Zone of Certainty

By Moisés Pérez Cosgaya

"Comfort Zone, Zone of Certainty" by Moises Perez Cosgaya

The comfort zone is a behavioral state within which a person operates in a condition of “neutral anxiety”, using a range of behaviors to achieve a consistent level of performance without a sense of risk

(White 2009)

The comfort zone is not limiting per se, in fact changes that lead to growth begin by recognizing comfort zones.

The Comfort Zone provides Certainty

The comfort zone is a safe area, which does not mean it is necessarily a happy zone.

It is an area that is well known, in which the risks are perfectly detected. Behaviors, attitudes, skills and habits that give us certainty about the results and consequences of what we do are also understood.

Therefore this allows us to also identify what we have no certainty about –  what causes us uncertainty and therefore can be avoided.

In the comfort zone we know what to say and do to ensure acceptance of those around us, how to behave in order to avoid conflicts and how to solve them, are also in that known area.

Example 1

When you are a student you know exactly under what conditions your parents will accept your low grades. You are also aware about what grade they consider low. Knowing this information allows the potential to plan to take exams and get the minimum score needed to save trouble at home.

Example 2

In your job knowing your superiors priorities can influence everything you do.  Not only the result of the work assigned to you, but also all forms of your interactions with customers. It allows you to conduct your work to avoid misunderstandings. Equally you also know how to react to your subordinates and your peers in situations that cause conflict. Taking this into account can provide the words and actions you should take to resolve these conflicts.

Example 3

A person with an addiction knows what to do to physically get their drug of choice in a way that fits their need. What he does may be seen as good or bad, he’ll know what to say; to whom and in what time, to get the “fix” he needs. Whether what they say is true or not, they know what places to avoid because they represent a hazard, regardless of what “risk” means in the context of his particular situation.

That is, he is certain about what to do, what to say and what habits are useful to get what he needs; clearly he is not a happy person, but he is a person living in certainty.

What About Leaving the Comfort Zone?

The comfort zone can be comfortable just as soon as an event occurs. What happenes if you have a dream or a situation that causes uncertainty about what actions to take, the consequences of the actions and / or results and consequences of our actions is presented? You’re limited by the comfort zone when you need to leave the certainty !.

Example 1b

Maybe when you leave primary school and enter high school, the grade you get   as a minimum qualification to avoid problems at home is no longer satisfactory to your parents. Perhaps it’s no longer just a motivation about only avoiding scolding and rebukes at home, but rather now it is to achieve your own dream.

In this case it is clear that you need to change your old habits, customs, actions. You can begin a cycle of trial-and-error to test and find the habits, customs and actions that will provide more certainty about the results and consequences that you want to gain.

Example 2b

At your job when you are promoted to higher positions you will find that your superiors have different priorities about what you do. Your decisions have more impact and therefore you have to make changes to: your own priorities as well as your perspective about your superiors, subordinates, peers and about the “big picture” for the company.

Example 3b

The arrival of a new member to the family brings uncertainty as to what needs changing, in order to adapt to the new presence. If you are that new family member yourself, it will put you through a situation that causes uncertainty because you’ll encounter unfamiliar customs.

Leaving a comfort zone always raises uncertainty and to overcome it is necessary to build a new comfort zone that you will then know well. A new confort zone that provides you with safety, comfort and certainty. It’s a comfort zone where you can be for a while until some external factor appears to push you to leave to create another new one.

Does the comfort zone where you are give you happiness or does it just give you certainty?

If your comfort zone gives you happiness then enjoy it, get to know that zone.

If you find it just gives you certainty, it has served its purpose which was to:

  1. Allow you space to grow
  2. Give you a space for you to be happy
  3. Highlight limits and to invite you to invent a new comfort zone

As you can see this is a cycle consisting of: growth -> enjoyment->inventive, and is part of life. Live it! When you find that you are in a comfort zone which is not enough, Build a new comfort zone!

Moisés Pérez Cosgaya

About Moisés Pérez Cosgaya

Moises Perez CosgayaCoach and Mentor Moisés Pérez Cosgaya is a certified ontological coach with the World Coaching Corporation (WCC). Moises adapts, teaches and conducts coaching and mentoring processes to his customers who are professionals from various sectors like IT, Network Marketing, Education, Beauty, Fashion and Media; he helps them find theirselves mechanisms and tools to overcome the barriers that separate theirselves personal and professional goals.

Moises supports its customers to discover theirselves internal processes and systems to improve day by day.

He considers his slogan “introducing you to the best version of you” is a promise to his customers he must fulfill

Moises operates from Mexico City, he has customers in Central America and South America. Serves its customers in person and by video conference

Moises writes weekly in his website http://mpcosgaya.com

 

Why You MUST Stop Squashing Your Voice 2

 in Guest Post  tagged authentic / career coach / comfort zone / expectations / Gail Gaspar / inner critic / led zeppelin / limiting beliefs / self / true voice / trusting yourself / voice

In today’s guest post coach Gail Gaspar shares her experience and knowledge as she shares the message:

"Why You MUST Stop Squashing Your Voice" A guest post by Gail Gaspar

Why You MUST Stop Squashing Your Voice

By Certified Career Coach Gail Gaspar MA, ACC

Your unique voice is a gift to the world. Your voice does not need to be fixed, squeezed or formatted into an acceptable template according to the standards of others.

We learn early on to take our cues from society and others. Negative self-talk and limiting beliefs are tethered to our perceptions about what will others think. If we continue to cue up unconsciously and hand our voice over to others, we lose our ability to trust ourselves. We must trust ourselves before others can trust us.

Let’s begin with some backstory. I got my first and last chance to be a singer in a rock and roll band when I was 16 years old. Much to our delight, my two best friends and I were invited to band practice in the guitar player’s basement. My friends jumped at the chance to sing with the band. Like any self-conscious teenage girl worth her bell-bottoms, I hung back, quite relieved to sit this one out.

When the song was over, one of the band members turned to me. How about YOU? Let’s hear YOU sing. Picture me resisting, shrinking, embarrassed by unwanted attention. They literally had to pull me up to the microphone to sing Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin. For the record, it clocks at 8:02 minutes. When the song was over, the band members made a fuss about my voice and did not mention my friends’ duet. My friends were mad. They did not speak to me the entire ride home.

I apologized to my friends. It was not the last time I did not OWN the sound of my own voice.

One of the band members showed up at my house the following day to ask my parents if I could join the band as a singer. My parents were not at all agreeable. They forbid me to sing with the band. No daughter of theirs was going to be a singer in a rock n roll band, and all that. Of course I was furious with my parents. But more than anything, I felt the wrath of my friends. My voice had landed me in an enviable position, and I did not want to lose my friends.

This circumstance fueled a powerful story I carried around for years. My ability to shine would have adverse consequences. And so, for a time, I dulled my shine and squashed my voice.

Do you trust the truth of your voice? Where are you voicing what others want or expect to hear? Is your voice story supportive for you?

In my line of work as a Career Coach, the ONE thing that stops more people from acting on more dreams is the refrain, “What will OTHERS think?”

I see it going on all around me. Recently, I met a lovely woman who was an opera singer. She confided to me, I’d like to audition for a solo. I’m good enough and yet stay in my comfort zone singing as part of the ensemble. The truth is, she said, I don’t trust the sound of my own voice.

When our consideration is primarily externally focused, the result is a tempered, vanilla voice that does not sing true or support us in doing what we want to do in the world.

Intellectually, we may know it is best not to feel needy, attached to outcomes or what others think of us. But sometimes, as you also probably well know, it’s hard!

So how do you stop yourself from being driven primarily by external expectations and tune in to your inner voice?

Lose your mind. Get physical and check in with your body to discover what’s true.

Let go of the need for perfection and struggle. Your true voice is best coaxed from non-attachment to outcome, willingness to make mistakes and belief that voicing your truth trumps it all.

Give yourself permission to honor what YOU want. More free writing? Play time? Sitting still each afternoon for a cup of tea? Whatever it is, recognize and create space to honor what’s true for you.

Cultivate faith and trust. Even though you can’t see what’s ahead, you have something important to say and the world needs your gifts. If you hide or hoard your gifts, you are depriving others who need to hear what you have to say.

Go big or go home. Shake things up. Question the way things are. Take more risks. Say it proud. Everyone doesn’t have to like what you say. Those who can and need to, will hear you.

Led Zeppelin did not know when they were composing Stairway to Heaven that it would become one of the greatest rock songs of all time. They put their voices out in the world.

Allowing your inner voice to drive the action will result in rewarding opportunities. The good news is you can create a new voice story at any time and from wherever you are. You never know who your voice will touch, how your authentic voice will carry forward. Until you try.

Do you tend to heed or ignore your inner voice? What is your voice story? How is it serving you? Is it time to take action on your story? We all benefit when you share your voice to comment below.

About Gail Gaspar

Gail helps women entrepreneurs activate powerful truth, awareness and intention for more impact, freedom and fun.

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Article Source: Why You MUST Stop Squashing Your Voice

by Ezine expert Gail Gasper