Gail Gaspar

Be a Masterful Change Agent: Mind the Gap

1 April 2016 in Guest Post tagged change / comfort zone / Gail Gaspar / mind the gap

In today’s guest post coach Gail Gaspar, inspired by a recant visit, shares some of her experience and knowledge.

Be a Masterful Change Agent:

Mind the Gap

By Gail Gaspar

"Be a Masterful Change Agent: Mind the Gap" by Gail Gaspar

Can you recall a time when you visited someplace for the first time?

Chances are, you couldn’t wait to get up and greet the day. You may have experienced a tingly sense of fiery energy in anticipation of the unknown.

We will contrast this with what happens when we think about making changes in everyday life.

First, a travel story.

My husband and I visited London for the first time recently.

As someone who reveres words, it was striking to be in another English speaking country, yet experience brand new words and new uses for old words.

Some examples: The word bespoke is applied everywhere, from bespoke haircuts to tea. I had to look up its definition, which is “made to individual order.” And the word sorry tumbles off the tongue with great frequency. It appears as if the Brits apologize for “their bad” and mine.

My favorite British expression, hands-down, is Mind the Gap.

Mind the Gap is broadcast on the speaker systems before every Tube station stop. It’s posted on signs above every train door. It’s painted on the railway platform as you step off the train. Mind you, unlike with the metro in Washington, D.C., the actual distance between the train and the platform was very small. The expression got hold of me. My imagination was off and running with the power and potential of these three little words, only ten letters in all.

What does this mean, Mind the Gap? My interpretation is to make a conscious effort to be present and be responsible for taking the step from where you are (on the train) to where you want to go (the platform).

And why does Mind the Gap matter?

Your brain is a drama queen.

Think about it. What happened the last time you told yourself you wanted to make a change from something familiar – a driving route, a relationship, a job, a piece of furniture – to something as yet unknown?

Your brain makes a ruckus. It’s enough to shut the station down.

It’s been my experience that the brain would much rather worry about the future or ruminate on the past than be present.

Want to outsmart your brain?

The brain will rant, quite persuasively, that the gap between what you’ve been doing and what you want to do is GINORMOUS. Sometimes this may be the case but 99 percent of the time, it is simply not so.

Give your brain something time and scope limited to tackle.

Step off the train. The train is so very good at getting you from one station to the next, but would you consider staying on to the end of the line because you were afraid to take the little step off at your station stop? The next step is often smaller than it appears.

Getting out of your comfort zone is a good thing.

There are those who would rather stick with the job and lifestyle circumstances they’re in because the tracks are familiar. There are business owners who would rather continue to operate as they have been for years. By minding the gap, even just a little, you’ll be amazed at what you and your business can do that was just beyond your comfort zone.

Three simple words: Mind The Gap

The best way I know to grow is to spice up your experience with something new. It might be taking a vacation or varying your route to work.

Remember, when you know how to mind the gap, you have the power grow in ways you can’t possibly imagine…yet.

How would the Mind the Gap perspective help you stretch out of a comfort zone? Tell us in the comments below!

About Gail Gaspar

Gail Gaspar, M.A., is a certified career transformation coach and entrepreneur. She helps high-achieving service professionals pivot to the next-stage career role that results in greater joy, impact and revenue.

You may contact her for a free 20 minute consultation at http://gailgaspar.com/request-for-coaching/. You may also get her bi-monthly doses of inspiration, career strategies and bonus download at http://gailgaspar.com/

What You Need to Know About F.O.M.O. (Fear of Missing Out)

21 March 2014 in Guest Post tagged F.O.M.O. / fear of missing out / Gail Gaspar / mindfulness / overwhelm / pause / pause principle / possibilities

In today’s guest post coach Gail Gaspar tell us:

What You Need to Know About F.O.M.O.

(Fear of Missing Out)

By Gail Gaspar

What You Need to Know About F.O.M.O. (Fear of Missing Out) By Gail Gaspar

If you’re a feeling a bit overwhelmed by all the offers, incentives and possibilities out there, I have a suggestion.

Stop shifting into perpetual fifth gear, trying to keep up or reach for more, and start remembering how to shift into neutral.

Pause. Pause is where your pulse lives.

Funny thing…for years, I believed in the opposite, in the supreme power of motion. Continuous motion. I’ve come to learn, it’s not about “either-or” it is about “yes-and,” when it comes to the relationship between action and absence of action. Each speed is key to cultivating a decision-making process that feels aligned and true.

Mindful action is greatly informed and fueled by what I call the Pause Principle.

Everything we do has the potential to be infused with resonant action when combined with pause.

“The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.” –Mark Twain

Here’s a personal story where pausing before taking action literally saved me thousands of dollars and made room for a better-fit alternative. A highly publicized program recently came to my ATTENTION. You know, the message blast that comes at you from all directions, invitations and incentives galore, inferring you will be left in the dust if you don’t sign up?

I’m not often one to succumb to FOMO or Fear of Missing Out. But this one got through my radar. The course deadline looms. Primitive instincts move into high gear. Adrenaline races. I reach for dark chocolate.

Is the program something I need or even want? I was not searching for this kind of program. I set out to make an empowering decision, using the Pause Principle.

First, I took a look at the program. Then I put a question to trusted friends and colleagues on a professional forum to see what they know. Next, I step away from external data, dial my attention inside to become aware of my own sensations. (Note I did not say to see what I “think.” More about this in a later post.) I become quiet. Notice tight breath and chest, indicating some resistance. Soft focus allows me to get in touch with what my business needs now. I realize it is not this. Instead, I want to dig in to resources I already have and focus on implementing a few actions I already know. The result: I feel empowered by my choice and validated by my process.

Opportunities abound for infusing the Pause Principle. These examples provide insight and access to pause for decision-making when you need to get clear, get calm and prioritize:

A client tells me that one of his key takeaways from our coaching was “not to rush into problem solving; to take time to pause, observe and assess first.
Loretta, my yoga instructor says, “The challenge is in the pause of each pose. The pause is what strengthens us.”
Laura, my coach colleague says, “I pause to check inside. Then I push it [the question or challenge] away and keep checking back [for what’s true].“

We know the cumulative impact of racing toward nothing, reaching for more, putting too much emphasis on what and who’s out there. A very effective antidote is becoming quiet, shifting to that place of pause.

How can the pause principle find its way in to your life? What is the easiest way for you to practice pause? We would love to hear from you in the comments below, on Facebook and on Twitter.

P.S. This is the first in a series of mindfulness posts. Don’t want to miss a post? Get on the list to get it direct to your inbox. Or check the blog for a treasure trove of curated mindfulness resources to empower your actions.

About Gail Gaspar

Gail guides solopreneurs to make powerful, intentional and true choices for unprecedented personal and professional growth, impact, freedom and fun.

If you like this article, you’ll LOVE the blog! To get free resources, strategies and inspiration you can use right away to own your entrepreneurial success from the inside out, enter your name and email here: http://www.iDecideCoach.com.

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Why You MUST Stop Squashing Your Voice 2

15 November 2013 in Guest Post tagged authentic / career coach / comfort zone / expectations / Gail Gaspar / inner critic / led zeppelin / limiting beliefs / self / true voice / trusting yourself / voice

In today’s guest post coach Gail Gaspar shares her experience and knowledge as she shares the message:

"Why You MUST Stop Squashing Your Voice" A guest post by Gail Gaspar

Why You MUST Stop Squashing Your Voice

By Certified Career Coach Gail Gaspar MA, ACC

Your unique voice is a gift to the world. Your voice does not need to be fixed, squeezed or formatted into an acceptable template according to the standards of others.

We learn early on to take our cues from society and others. Negative self-talk and limiting beliefs are tethered to our perceptions about what will others think. If we continue to cue up unconsciously and hand our voice over to others, we lose our ability to trust ourselves. We must trust ourselves before others can trust us.

Let’s begin with some backstory. I got my first and last chance to be a singer in a rock and roll band when I was 16 years old. Much to our delight, my two best friends and I were invited to band practice in the guitar player’s basement. My friends jumped at the chance to sing with the band. Like any self-conscious teenage girl worth her bell-bottoms, I hung back, quite relieved to sit this one out.

When the song was over, one of the band members turned to me. How about YOU? Let’s hear YOU sing. Picture me resisting, shrinking, embarrassed by unwanted attention. They literally had to pull me up to the microphone to sing Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin. For the record, it clocks at 8:02 minutes. When the song was over, the band members made a fuss about my voice and did not mention my friends’ duet. My friends were mad. They did not speak to me the entire ride home.

I apologized to my friends. It was not the last time I did not OWN the sound of my own voice.

One of the band members showed up at my house the following day to ask my parents if I could join the band as a singer. My parents were not at all agreeable. They forbid me to sing with the band. No daughter of theirs was going to be a singer in a rock n roll band, and all that. Of course I was furious with my parents. But more than anything, I felt the wrath of my friends. My voice had landed me in an enviable position, and I did not want to lose my friends.

This circumstance fueled a powerful story I carried around for years. My ability to shine would have adverse consequences. And so, for a time, I dulled my shine and squashed my voice.

Do you trust the truth of your voice? Where are you voicing what others want or expect to hear? Is your voice story supportive for you?

In my line of work as a Career Coach, the ONE thing that stops more people from acting on more dreams is the refrain, “What will OTHERS think?”

I see it going on all around me. Recently, I met a lovely woman who was an opera singer. She confided to me, I’d like to audition for a solo. I’m good enough and yet stay in my comfort zone singing as part of the ensemble. The truth is, she said, I don’t trust the sound of my own voice.

When our consideration is primarily externally focused, the result is a tempered, vanilla voice that does not sing true or support us in doing what we want to do in the world.

Intellectually, we may know it is best not to feel needy, attached to outcomes or what others think of us. But sometimes, as you also probably well know, it’s hard!

So how do you stop yourself from being driven primarily by external expectations and tune in to your inner voice?

Lose your mind. Get physical and check in with your body to discover what’s true.

Let go of the need for perfection and struggle. Your true voice is best coaxed from non-attachment to outcome, willingness to make mistakes and belief that voicing your truth trumps it all.

Give yourself permission to honor what YOU want. More free writing? Play time? Sitting still each afternoon for a cup of tea? Whatever it is, recognize and create space to honor what’s true for you.

Cultivate faith and trust. Even though you can’t see what’s ahead, you have something important to say and the world needs your gifts. If you hide or hoard your gifts, you are depriving others who need to hear what you have to say.

Go big or go home. Shake things up. Question the way things are. Take more risks. Say it proud. Everyone doesn’t have to like what you say. Those who can and need to, will hear you.

Led Zeppelin did not know when they were composing Stairway to Heaven that it would become one of the greatest rock songs of all time. They put their voices out in the world.

Allowing your inner voice to drive the action will result in rewarding opportunities. The good news is you can create a new voice story at any time and from wherever you are. You never know who your voice will touch, how your authentic voice will carry forward. Until you try.

Do you tend to heed or ignore your inner voice? What is your voice story? How is it serving you? Is it time to take action on your story? We all benefit when you share your voice to comment below.

About Gail Gaspar

Gail helps women entrepreneurs activate powerful truth, awareness and intention for more impact, freedom and fun.

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