Coaching Quote of the Day 26th July 2015
“All business proceeds on beliefs, or judgements of probabilities, and not on certainties.”
(Charles William Eliot)
certainty
Coaching Quote of the Day 29th May 2015
“There is no certainty; there is only adventure.”
(Roberto Assagioli)
Coaching Quote of the Day 15th April 2015
“Fear comes from uncertainty. When we are absolutely certain, whether of our worth or worthlessness, we are almost impervious to fear.”
(William Congreve)
Comfort Zone, Zone of Certainty
In this weeks guest post coach and mentor Moisés Pérez Cosgaya shares some of his expertise:
Comfort Zone, Zone of Certainty
By Moisés Pérez Cosgaya
The comfort zone is a behavioral state within which a person operates in a condition of “neutral anxiety”, using a range of behaviors to achieve a consistent level of performance without a sense of risk
(White 2009)
The comfort zone is not limiting per se, in fact changes that lead to growth begin by recognizing comfort zones.
The Comfort Zone provides Certainty
The comfort zone is a safe area, which does not mean it is necessarily a happy zone.
It is an area that is well known, in which the risks are perfectly detected. Behaviors, attitudes, skills and habits that give us certainty about the results and consequences of what we do are also understood.
Therefore this allows us to also identify what we have no certainty about – what causes us uncertainty and therefore can be avoided.
In the comfort zone we know what to say and do to ensure acceptance of those around us, how to behave in order to avoid conflicts and how to solve them, are also in that known area.
Example 1
When you are a student you know exactly under what conditions your parents will accept your low grades. You are also aware about what grade they consider low. Knowing this information allows the potential to plan to take exams and get the minimum score needed to save trouble at home.
Example 2
In your job knowing your superiors priorities can influence everything you do. Not only the result of the work assigned to you, but also all forms of your interactions with customers. It allows you to conduct your work to avoid misunderstandings. Equally you also know how to react to your subordinates and your peers in situations that cause conflict. Taking this into account can provide the words and actions you should take to resolve these conflicts.
Example 3
A person with an addiction knows what to do to physically get their drug of choice in a way that fits their need. What he does may be seen as good or bad, he’ll know what to say; to whom and in what time, to get the “fix” he needs. Whether what they say is true or not, they know what places to avoid because they represent a hazard, regardless of what “risk” means in the context of his particular situation.
That is, he is certain about what to do, what to say and what habits are useful to get what he needs; clearly he is not a happy person, but he is a person living in certainty.
What About Leaving the Comfort Zone?
The comfort zone can be comfortable just as soon as an event occurs. What happenes if you have a dream or a situation that causes uncertainty about what actions to take, the consequences of the actions and / or results and consequences of our actions is presented? You’re limited by the comfort zone when you need to leave the certainty !.
Example 1b
Maybe when you leave primary school and enter high school, the grade you get as a minimum qualification to avoid problems at home is no longer satisfactory to your parents. Perhaps it’s no longer just a motivation about only avoiding scolding and rebukes at home, but rather now it is to achieve your own dream.
In this case it is clear that you need to change your old habits, customs, actions. You can begin a cycle of trial-and-error to test and find the habits, customs and actions that will provide more certainty about the results and consequences that you want to gain.
Example 2b
At your job when you are promoted to higher positions you will find that your superiors have different priorities about what you do. Your decisions have more impact and therefore you have to make changes to: your own priorities as well as your perspective about your superiors, subordinates, peers and about the “big picture” for the company.
Example 3b
The arrival of a new member to the family brings uncertainty as to what needs changing, in order to adapt to the new presence. If you are that new family member yourself, it will put you through a situation that causes uncertainty because you’ll encounter unfamiliar customs.
Leaving a comfort zone always raises uncertainty and to overcome it is necessary to build a new comfort zone that you will then know well. A new confort zone that provides you with safety, comfort and certainty. It’s a comfort zone where you can be for a while until some external factor appears to push you to leave to create another new one.
Does the comfort zone where you are give you happiness or does it just give you certainty?
If your comfort zone gives you happiness then enjoy it, get to know that zone.
If you find it just gives you certainty, it has served its purpose which was to:
- Allow you space to grow
- Give you a space for you to be happy
- Highlight limits and to invite you to invent a new comfort zone
As you can see this is a cycle consisting of: growth -> enjoyment->inventive, and is part of life. Live it! When you find that you are in a comfort zone which is not enough, Build a new comfort zone!
Moisés Pérez Cosgaya
About Moisés Pérez Cosgaya
Coach and Mentor Moisés Pérez Cosgaya is a certified ontological coach with the World Coaching Corporation (WCC). Moises adapts, teaches and conducts coaching and mentoring processes to his customers who are professionals from various sectors like IT, Network Marketing, Education, Beauty, Fashion and Media; he helps them find theirselves mechanisms and tools to overcome the barriers that separate theirselves personal and professional goals.
Moises supports its customers to discover theirselves internal processes and systems to improve day by day.
He considers his slogan “introducing you to the best version of you” is a promise to his customers he must fulfill
Moises operates from Mexico City, he has customers in Central America and South America. Serves its customers in person and by video conference
Moises writes weekly in his website http://mpcosgaya.com
Coaching Quote of the Day 12th December 2011
“For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream.”
(Vincent van Gogh)
Discover your ‘Book of Rules’…
In this week’s guest post Evolved Master Coach Morgan Tinline shares insights and explainations about how we are “wired.”
Discover your ‘Book of Rules’…
by Morgan Tinline
As an Evolved Master Coach, I work almost entirely with the unconscious mind – also called the conditioned mind. This is where clients experience lasting change that happens very quickly. I assist clients to essentially change their ‘wiring’ so that they choose to be cause and create the life they desire.
As is my foremost objective when in a coaching session, I want to offer you the opportunity to gain massive value from this post simply by enjoying it for yourself in whatever way is best for you!
So, from my perspective as an Evolved Master Coach, I want to share with you some information on how we are ‘wired’ and more importantly, how that ‘wiring’ serves us as individuals on an unconscious level. And of course, I’d love for you to gain insights into how to change that wiring almost effortlessly!
Let’s start with how we perceive and process our world…
Internal Representations:
Your internal representation will to a great extent determine your focus. You will soon learn that you get what you focus on. Your focus determines your thinking; your thinking determines your behaviour, which determines your results.
The Five senses (VAKOG) supply information from the outside world directly to the conditioned mind for processing/filtering. This information together with our Self-Talk (Ad) creates our Internal Representation.
Your unconscious mind is symbolic and it thinks and communicates using V, A, K, O, G and Ad. In order to use our minds effectively we need to use all of our Internal Representations, aligning them with what we want.
Think of all the signs that you see for caution or warning… “Don’t Slip” for example (with a picture of a man slipping). Remember that the unconscious mind doesn’t process negatives directly. The mind processes everything through VAKOG all the time. Rather state everything in the positive, FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WANT.
What feeling and images are in your mind when you think of yourself slipping on a wet floor? What kind of internal representation would that create? Our Internal Representation becomes our focus… we tend to produce the necessary behaviour to manifest that. This is the basis for effective change.
“Don’t think of a pink elephant”
Realise that you can’t think about what you don’t want to think about without thinking about it.
So all 5 senses and our self talk together, make up our Internal Representation. Now ask “What am I focusing on? Is my focus positive?” From now on this includes all 6 things we can do in our minds. Are all the systems supporting you towards successful achievement of your goal? This will make a huge difference in your life.
Our mind sorts information into 7 ± 2 chunks of information. Our Internal Representation constantly combined with our Physiology creates our State. State dictates our Behaviour and we create certain Results in our lives.
Focus Filters
What are you focusing on? Is it towards what you want or towards what you don’t want? Are you focusing on what you want or are you focusing on what you don’t want?
Core Focus Filters – (Internal Acid Test)
Our core focus filters are our human needs. This model has been adopted from Anthony Robbins, who says “You don’t always get what you want, but you always get what you need.”
These needs are not wants and desires, but profound needs which service the basis of every choice we make.
You will always find a way to fulfil your core needs, either in a positive, negative or neutral way.
There are 6 basic human needs:
Certainty
This is our need for safety, security, consistency and predictability.
Variety
The opposite of certainty is our need for uncertainty, variety, the unknown, risk, challenges.
Significance
This is our need for being important, being needed, feeling worthy, unique, status
Love / Connection
Our need for connection, intimacy, love, sharing, bonding
The first 4 human needs Certainty, Variety, Significance, Love / Connection are the needs of the body/personality. People will do ANYTHING to meet these needs, one way or another.
The needs of our spirit or soul are met through Growth and Contribution…
Growth
Our need for growth, expansion, learning, becoming more… when we stop growing, we die. We need to constantly develop emotionally, physically and spiritually.
Contribution
Our need to go beyond our own needs and contributing to others, making a difference in others lives, helping, educating, coaching.
We tend to focus on two; the dominant two influence our behaviour the most.
Exercise:
1) Write down all the ways you currently get: Certainty, Variety, Significance, Love/Connection, Growth and Contribution in your life in general.
2) Answer the following questions (take your time and think about it).
a) What is it that drives you? What are your top 2 Core Focus Filters? Which two do you value the most?
b) How does this impact the quality of your life? What are the consequences (positive and negative) of valuing these needs in this order?
Process Focus Filters – (Inner Parent)
These are process driven that shape our Focus and our reality.
Meta Programs
Values
Beliefs
Memories
Decisions
Attitudes
Language
Time/Space/Matter/Energy
Key Focus Filter – (Internal Driver)
This holds the Key of your Focus. It determines what is and what isn’t important, based on all the other filters. Your mind created a question that sums up all your filters together. It filters your conscious and unconscious thinking, all the time. It is basically the question that you keep asking yourself consciously or unconsciously, no matter what you are doing. You filter all information coming in through your 5 senses all 400 Billion bps as if your life depended on it. How important do you think this question is?
And now, for the even more amazing stuff. For those of you want to discover your own unconscious ‘instruction manual’…
Book of Rules Exercise:
What is important in your life?
List the top 5 things that you value in life. What is life about for you? What are you striving for, what would you like to feel or experience in life?
1. ___________________________________________________________________
2. ___________________________________________________________________
3. ___________________________________________________________________
4. ___________________________________________________________________
5. ___________________________________________________________________
(For each of the above that you listed answer the following question)
For you to feel/experience __________ , what needs to happen, what needs to be present in order for you to feel that way or to experience that?
1. ___________________________________________________________________
2. ___________________________________________________________________
3. ___________________________________________________________________
4. ___________________________________________________________________
5. ___________________________________________________________________
In the past, what have been the feelings you would do almost anything to avoid?
List here the top 5, your biggest ‘Away From’:
1. ___________________________________________________________________
2. ___________________________________________________________________
3. ___________________________________________________________________
4. ___________________________________________________________________
5. ___________________________________________________________________
(For each of the above that you listed answer the following question)
For you to feel/experience __________ , what needs to happen, what needs to be present in order for you to feel that way or to experience that?
1. ___________________________________________________________________
2. ___________________________________________________________________
3. ___________________________________________________________________
4. ___________________________________________________________________
5. ___________________________________________________________________
Most people make it really difficult to achieve their ‘Towards Values’ and really easy to achieve their ‘Away Values’. Why not make it really easy to achieve your towards by using OR, and make it really difficult to achieve Away but using AND.
I trust you have enjoyed asking some of the right questions for the answers you’ve always had! You can email me with any questions/queries and feedback. Send email to
mo****@ep***********.com
In conclusion, I leave you with the words of my friend and mentor…
“May you find all that you seek outside, inside of you.” – RS
About the author
Morgan Tinline is an Evolved Master Coach currently living in South Africa. He is passionate about people and assisting them in accessing their massive potential. Add to that his past personal experience and triumph over severe depression as well as overcoming Bipolar Disorder without any medical assistance or traditional therapy, and you get a coach who loves every bit of his 100% success rate.
Specialising in self-sabotage, Morgan is currently building a platform through which even more people can choose to have instant and lasting change and live the life they desire.
Stay informed of what is happening as well as upcoming visits to various countries around the world in 2012 and beyond. Go to www.epiclivingnow.com, follow him on twitter @EpicLivingNow, and like his page on facebook – Epic Living