coaching preparation

Best locations for coaching

 in Coaching  tagged business coach / business coaching / career coaching / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching preparation / coaching qualifications / coaching session / coaching skills / coaching techniques / executive coach / face-to-face / Free resource / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / location / otcome / overhead / performance coaching / personal development / phone / preparation / preparation for a coaching session / purpose / resource / travel

I’ve mentioned before that many things can influence the content of each post, including requests from you either via the contact form or when signing up to get the free “What to put in your coaching welcome pack” e-course. Today’s post is in response to a request about information about the best locations for coaching.

As this is all the information the individual gave I will be writing generally for reasons that I will explain in a moment. If you are the person who made this request and we need to go more detailed to be of assistance to you by all means get in touch with more details.

I’m going to start by saying that, for me, the best locations are the ones that work for you and your clients.

There are several variables that can influence where you choose to hold a coaching conversation and session. These are some of the questions I consider when choosing where to hold a coaching session.

What medium are you planning on using for your coaching?

A coaching session via the phone can have different practical requirements to a face-to-face coaching session. To start with to coach via the phone you physically need to be able to make a call. This will mean either a landline or ensuring that you have a strong enough mobile signal.

Who are you coaching? and What state do you want your client to be in?

Some clients will feel more relaxed in different settings so it’s possible that the location you pick can influence the work that you do together.

For example, some clients may prefer a setting of a corporate office meeting room. Others may find that environment intimidating to meet in. Some may prefer a room in an educational setting – others may have negative connections to such a setting.

What is the purpose of your coaching? What outcome does your client want to get from your coaching work together?

This may place practical implications about where you want your coaching to happen.

For example, imagine that you are in a business setting coaching call centre agents concerning performance skills. It could be beneficial to have a coaching conversation “on the floor” about how the last call had gone. This has the benefit of the call being fresh in the agents mind and memory. It also allows for any action agreed upon to be immediately put into action.

Perhaps you suspect that physically having that coaching conversation in a different setting will make a difference. A client may be more relaxed/less distracted in a neutral setting giving them the space to see things from a new perspective.

This may be in a public setting, your own/independent office or perhaps even in an outside location.

What are your preferences as a coach?

Where will assist you to fully focus on your client without distractions and allow you to be in the most useful state for your coaching?

What other practical aspects/implications are there?

I know that overhead costs can affect coaches decisions about where they coach. Not only with potential room hire/lease but other costs such as travelling can also influence either your pricing or where you coach.

Coaching from your own home. I’m certainly no regulatory and legal expert, especially as that will vary depending upon which country you are living in. Do be aware that there may be certain clauses in renting agreements, building and content insurance policies etc that apply if you have clients physically coming into your own home. Do check out how you will be affected and seek appropriate advice if needed.

Geography How much travel are you (and/or potentially your client) prepared to do?

Time This may also influence your decision. Is the location you are thinking off available when you want to coach? If there is travelling involved to the venue does it fit with your other commitments and if not are you willing to make it a priority?

A word of warning

I’ll also add that I’ve spoken to many want-to-be/trainee coaches who are not yet coaching giving the reason that they have nowhere to coach. I know that this can seem a big first step.

Please don’t let this get in your way of starting coaching. Personally I have had coaching conversations either as a client or a coach in coffee shops, hotel bars/reception, train stations, impromptu coaching conversations in stairwells etc.

As part of a big long-term picture – yes a location may play a part in making an impression, potentially make a coaching session easier and if you are running a coaching business could have overhead implications.

However, when starting out I personally think that not having a room can be used as a practical excuse for not starting just yet but appearing busy. In my opinion, one of the best ways to develop your coaching is by actually coaching real people.

 

 

Are you a coach that cares? 2

 in Coaching  tagged Abraham Maslow / business coach / business coaching / career coaching / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching preparation / coaching prepartaion form / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / confidence / esteem / executive coach / Free resource / hierarchy of needs / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / love and belonging / performance coaching / personal development / physiological / preparation / safety / Self care / self-actualisation

In a previous coaching post I’ve talked about what a coach can do to prepare for a coaching session. Each coach will develop their own answers and preparation for a coaching session.

As I shared in that previous post I look to answer the following before a coaching session “What can I do to ensure that I show up brilliantly?”

I know that doing “my job” as a coach to the best of my abilities and showing up brilliantly is much easier when I have taken care of myself. Today’s coaching post discusses self-care. As you read I invite you to consider how this works with your approach to coaching.

Let’s start by discussing what I mean by self-care. I once did a web search on the term self care and came across the following:

“Self care skills are the needs to manage day to day life. They include washing, dressing, cooking and housekeeping.”

Admittedly this was in reference to caring for someone else, and those things do all fall under self-care, and in this instance I am talking about much more than physiological need.

You may have seen Maslow’s hierarchy of needs usually represented as a pyramid, with the largest and lowest level of needs forming the foundations for the others to build upon. This theory of needs was proposed by psychologist Abraham Maslow in the 1940′s and 50′s.

There is debate about the order that the levels are placed in, or even if there is a hierarchy at all. Rather than get involved in that discussion, I’m going to use it as a catalyst for thought. I’ll invite you to glance at the following synopsis and consider the emotional, physical and even spiritual effects and benefits that taking care of your needs for each category would have.

Physiological – What we, as humans, literally require to survive as a species. Needs that are seen to fall in this category include food, breathing, sleep and sexual activity.

Safety – In today’s society this does not only mean physical safety but can also include employment/financial security, health and security of property etc.

Love and Belonging – This category of “needs” covers aspects of feelings of belonging and building relationships, such as friendship, family and romantic.

Esteem – This heading covers needs such as self-esteem, confidence and respect – both of and by others.

Self-Actualisation – This, Maslow theorised, is the top of the pyramid, and is the section that covers what a persons potential is and fulfilling that potential. Dr Wayne Dyer describes it as:

i) To be free of the good opinion of others,

ii) To do things not simply for the outcome but because it’s the reason you are here on earth.

I include these not because I necessarily agree with every single aspect of Maslow’s theory myself, but to encourage a broader look at the things that when you take care to include in your daily routine you feel more alive and generally have a better day.

I’ll let you decide for yourself if taking care of yourself is something that would benefit your coaching.

If you want to play further with this:

What are the things that when you do them, you have a better day?

What are the things that when you do them you feel more alive and are more productive?

What would the difference be if you deliberately and consciously chose to incorporate more of these into your day?

How do you help a client set a goal for the coaching session? 2

 in Coaching  tagged business coach / business coaching / career coaching / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching model / coaching preparation / coaching prepartaion form / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / confidence / executive coach / expectations / Free resource / goal / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / performance coaching / personal development / preparation / question / session goal

One of the reoccurring questions that I see and hear from those who are beginning to develop their coaching skills is based on the problem of struggling to pin-point a goal for a coaching session.

A common response from more experience coaches can be a variation of “Yes, that’s something I remember experiencing and it’s something that gets easier with practice”. Whilst I agree, it is something that gets easier when you practice, let me also give some pointers for that practice 🙂

Firstly, what expectations does your client have about what happens in a coaching session? If you want them to set the direction of the coaching how did you explain that when you both agreed to work together?

If you find that it is a common theme that all your clients struggle to pin point a goal for the session, you may want to consider what you can do differently during your initial conversation with a potential client? Is there something you can say or do that will increase the chance of a goal being established quickly?

You may also use questions to establish the expectations that your client has before you start coaching either in your initial conversation or if you include questions in your welcome pack.

The wording of these questions can be tailored to best suit your clients but an example could be “How would they know it’s been a great coaching session?” Presumably they would be happy if each session with you is a great coaching session. Having formed an answer to this question it will aid them to set each session goal in-line with these expectations in the future.

If you know what their answer is, it also allows you to discuss their expectations in more detail with them if appropriate.

Many coaches ask their clients to complete a coaching preparation form prior to the actual session. The format and actual questions on a preparation form can vary from coach to coach.

One aspect that a coaching preparation form can have is to ask a question that allows your client to already come prepared with a session “goal.” Already having this established ahead of the session allows you to spend the time focusing upon that goal.

These are just some thoughts about the things that you can add into your practice to assist you in setting a goal for your coaching session. What other methods and approaches can you suggest?

 

 

Coaching and “fake it ’til you make it”

 in Coaching  tagged action / business coach / business coaching / career coaching / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching model / coaching preparation / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / confidence / confident / executive coach / fake / fake it 'til you make it / Free resource / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / performance coaching / personal development

As a coach you may have been give the advice to “fake it ‘til you make it.” Perhaps you have even given that advice for yourself. I know I remember having a conversation when I was starting out as a trainer and a coach where an experienced colleague gave me that advice.

The plus side of faking it ‘til you make it is that it can be the extra something needed to nudge someone into doing something they were not previously doing. Even if they are pretending to be something/someone they don’t think they are in order for that to happen.

A side effect is that the person doing the “faking” often has a nagging feeling that they are about to be discovered as a fraud at any minute. Considering that they are approaching this by pretending to be someone else it’s understandable that is the response that they are having.

It’s not unusual for someone to have gone past the point of having to fake it as they developed their own approach a long time ago. However, they haven’t actually realised this and adjusted their own perception of themselves. So they still feel like they are a fake.

As always as you read this I encourage you to listen to your own wisdom. If you read this and find that what I am talking about works for you, and you are quite happy doing it, then keep using what works for you!

I am sharing this as I wanted to point out that “faking to you make it” is not the only way of becoming comfortable with any “role”, task or activity. Below I’ll share just 3 different approaches you may consider using.

For instance, you could just keep doing regular small steps to move yourself forward until you find that one day you find it is all really comfortable.

A different way is to be honest with yourself – and others if appropriate, and as Susan Jeffers said “feel the fear and do it any way”

Another alternative is about taking the pressure off and allowing yourself to focus on just doing the task to the best of your current abilities can result in you really surprising yourself.

Usually when someone feels that they have to “fake it” there is a set of expectations they feel that they need to be “living up to”. Sometimes these are expectations that have been set by other people. More commonly, these expectations have been set by our own judgements and comparisons.

These are either a comparison to someone else or by our own judgement about what they think they should do if they were being perfect. It can be worth checking the beliefs, judgements and expectations you are setting for yourself – and if they are really needed.

I mentioned in my post yesterday, “Why did I start Coaching Confidence, the coaching blog?”, I believe having an exposure to different approaches, opinions and techniques give coaches a greater flexibility when they coach. So feel free to share other approached you have/could use instead of “fake it ‘til you make it.”

Alternatively, if you feel particularly strongly that “fake it ‘til you make it” is the only approach to use, you’re more than welcome to comment as well 🙂

Why did I start Coaching Confidence, the coaching blog? 1

 in site news  tagged best coaching blog 2011 / blog / business coach / business coaching / career coaching / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching confidence / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching model / coaching preparation / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / confidence / confident / executive coach / follow up / Free resource / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / performance coaching / personal development

You may have noticed that in the top right section of the screen is this logo:

Please Vote for us

You may also have deduced that Coaching Confidence, the coaching blog, is entered in the Best Coaching Blogs 2011 competition. Obviously I’d love if you would spare a few moments to vote for us.

I’d thought I’d spend a few moments sharing why I started this blog. The final “push” was when I read an “advanced” coaching article that advised coaches to interact with their coaching client during the actual coaching session.

At first I was convinced that there was a typo somewhere and what I was literally reading was not actually the authors meaning. However, it was repeated several times and I could spot no other interpretation so had to come to the conclusion that this had to be the actual “advanced” message.

I cannot begin to imagine how anyone can coach without interacting with a client. In my mind, even non-verbal communication, such as nods, raised eyebrows etc are interactions. It certainly isn’t what I class as a piece of advice for advanced coaching.

Having got on my soap box to a friend and colleague about how much better quality information could be given than interact with your client I realised I was “preaching to the converted”.

One of the possible explanations I’d looked for in that post was if the author had been advising about increasing interaction in general. Whilst I’d found no evidence that was the intended meaning, I did think it sounded a fun approach. As I am so passionate about supporting and nurturing coaching skills and talents creating my own coaching blog would be one ideal way to do this.

I was also keen to have a regular guest post feature. For three reasons:

  1. I believe that having an exposure to different approaches, opinions and techniques give coaches a greater flexibility when they coach. Something that, in my mind, helps you to be a stronger coach so you can adapt to the individual in front of you.
  2. I don’t expect that my approach to coaching will be every other coaches approach – yet I still wanted to provide a space where all coaching styles could get an opportunity to share. I want to credit my audience with the intelligence but also have the responsibility for deciding which ones appeal to them.
  3. I wanted to provide an opportunity to support the guest posters by providing a space to connect with a new audience.

I know that my work is about supporting, nurturing and encouraging coaching skills and talents for all levels of coaching. It’s what I love doing. It’s also what I check if a particular post has the potential to do when I sit down to blog.

Technically it could be classed as part of a marketing strategy; however, I did not wake up one morning and think, “I know, I’d love to start a marketing strategy!” I did come to the realisation I enjoy writing for this blog – I enjoy this form of interaction.

I have never claimed to be a marketing expert yet the one piece of “marketing advice” I give to coaches when I’m asked is to find strategy(s) that you enjoy doing – rather than ones you hate. You are far more likely to do something that you enjoy more than something you hate. The best conceived marketing strategy and knowledge in the world is not going to create clients if you don’t put it into action!

You’ll notice if you click through to the best coaching blogs 2011 nominations that there are other coaching blogs there. If you enjoy this blog I’d love you to vote for us. If you have the time, why not have a look at the links to the other blogs at the same time. You never know when that right comment may just give you the nudge to take that next step!

After all, who knows if and when I’d have started this blog if I hadn’t read about interacting in a coaching session!

Click here to vote for us in the Best Coaching Blogs 2011.

Follow up between Coaching Sessions 2

 in Coaching  tagged business coach / business coaching / career coaching / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching model / coaching preparation / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / confidence / confident / executive coach / follow up / Free resource / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / performance coaching / personal development

One of the requests for topics that people wanted to read more about that I have received recently was about follow up between coaching sessions. So today’s coaching post will share some of my thoughts to answer this request.

Personally, I believe that when a coaching client hires me as their coach it isn’t just about what happens during the appointed time of our coaching session.

This means that I have built into my coaching packages the ability to provide follow up and assistance as and when it’s wanted. I know that this may concern some coaches from a time management perspective.

Personally, this is not something that worries me, probably because I’ve chosen to include those as a solution and as I offer coaching packages rather than thinking of charging by the hour.

I give all my clients various different means to contact me in their welcome pack, including guidance about which is usually the quickest method and how quickly I will respond. This includes priority email response if they wish to contact me between sessions with questions to share successes etc.

When a client commits to their action assignments (the action they will take before the next session) it’s not unknown for me to ask if there is anyway I can assist to make those tasks easier.

Note that I usually leave the responsibility with the client to request but offer the invitation for them to use, as they want.

Why do I say usually? Well, sometimes I suggest action assignments that I have designed with a specific purpose in mind and that may involve following up with me before our next session.

Let me list some examples of what I think of as follow up and why it may be used. The reason’s I mention will not be the only ones, so if you think one of the following would be beneficial for one of your clients don’t eliminate it if it doesn’t fall into my reason why!

Sometimes following up may involve a daily email updating the action taken with a requested email nudge from me if it’s not sent. This isn’t for every client or every occasion but can assist if someone is looking to include something into a routine or just become more comfortable doing.

Other occasions may include a commitment to sending me a completed piece of work. Again, not for every client or situation but for some having that extra accountability can make it easier for them to keep their focus.

I do offer a coaching package that has coaching sessions every 2 weeks instead of every week – some clients like to have a reminder email of their action assignments and commitments sent to them after 1 week.

Some coaches, myself included, suggest clients complete a coaching preparation form before a scheduled coaching session. I find that this allows a client to reflect upon the time since our last session. It also allows them to identify what they want to get from our next session. It’s not at all unknown for the act of completing the preparation in advance to act as a reminder to finish anything they had committed to during the last session but not yet completed.

There are also other electronic means of following up on coaching. Some online coaching tools provide the coach with the option of providing feedback on the answers a client enters.

What, if any, other examples of follow up in coaching do you use? Feel free to comment below.

 

 

Do coaches need to be confident? 6

 in Coaching  tagged business coach / business coaching / career coaching / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching model / coaching preparation / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / confidence / confident / executive coach / explaining coaching / fake / focus / Free resource / inner critic / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / listening / negative thinking / negative thought / performance coaching / personal development / questions / selling / thinking / thoughts

I’m often interested to see the searches that people do that lead to this blog for coaches. Some are quite frankly mystifying but one recently attracted my attention as it was the simple question, “do coaches need to be confident?”

So my coaching related post today is going to give my own personal answer, with reasons. I invite you to consider your own answer, as well as how that fits into how you are currently coaching.

Now considering one of the programs I offer to support coaches is “From feeling a fake to confident coach” my actual answer may surprise some. No, I personally do not think that coaches need to be confident. I think that it is perfectly possible to run a coaching session without feeling confident.

Confidence is one of those things that we cannot nip down to the local supermarket and pick up a tin of – it means something slightly different to each person. Just so that I am perfectly clear, I’m talking about feeling confident. I’m not talking about someone’s competence with my previous statement.

For some it may be true that a reason for them feeling a lack of confidence is genuinely because their skill levels have not been developed – it’s not always the case, hence my statement that you do not need to be confident to run a coaching session.

I do think that there are many benefits to being a confident coach. Here are just 7 of my initial thoughts:

It’s often makes coaching easier

How does your lack of confidence effect your coaching? If you are not confident then it’s easy for your client to start questioning the coaching and shift their focus off what they want etc.

It feels better and is more enjoyable!

Whilst your client may or may not have a suspicion about how you are feeling there are two of you involved in this coaching conversation. There is nothing to say that, as a coach, you can’t enjoy your work – in fact I personally encourage you to enjoy your work. 🙂

It’s easier to focus on your client if you’re not afraid someone is about to discover that you’re a fake etc

Coaching is much easier when you are listening and focusing upon your client and not any negative thoughts in your own head. I wrote last week about 3 ways to keep your focus on your client and not on your inner critic or negative thoughts etc.

If you trust your skills and coaching instincts you will ask the questions/give the feedback that you think will make the difference.

Often if a coach is not confident they can question yourself about what they will think about you, if that’s the right question etc and hold back from asking a question or giving certain feedback.

You will allow yourself to take the coaching in a different direction if the first one isn’t going anywhere

Coaching conversations are like any other conversations, they can take a turn in a different direction at any time depending upon the response the other person gives. Sometimes I see coaches/trainee coaches think negatively of themselves because they either haven’t got a plan about how a session is going to go or any plan they had alters as the session progresses.

You don’t hold yourself back from taking action just because you don’t feel confident

To run a coaching session you need a client. I’ve often seen coaches who share that they don’t feel confident reluctant to take action to actually get a client – either paid or unpaid. What action would you take if you were more confident about your coaching?

If you are “selling” the idea of working with you, a potential client is more likely to say yes if you appear confident in your own service and skills.

I’ve already mentioned that to run a coaching session you need a client. There are many strategies that you can use for marketing and sales and this isn’t a post about the numerous approaches that could work for you.

Even if you are not asking for an exchange of money you are asking a potential client to invest their time and effort. If you don’t appear confident and appear to be questioning if it will work etc how likely are they to say yes?

At the start of this post I said that coaches do not need to be confident to run a coaching session. What do you think? Feel free to share your comments below.

3 ways to keep your focus on your client and not your own inner critic/ thoughts

 in Coaching  tagged business coach / business coaching / career coaching / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching model / coaching preparation / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / executive coach / explaining coaching / focus / Free resource / inner critic / language / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / listening / negative thinking / negative thought / performance coaching / personal development / thinking / thoughts

So how do you avoid being distracted by your own thoughts when you are coaching?  This is a conversation and question I often get asked.

My answer normally is that there are many different techniques and approaches that you can use. And finding the ones that work for you is, in my opinion, beneficial.

Shut up/ don’t listen

One of the coaching skills that is highly valued is listening but in a coaching session it’s probably useful to listen to your client not any negative thoughts inside your head 🙂

There are many different techniques that you can use to quiet/not connect with any thoughts that you are finding distracting.

On day 4 of my confidence e-course I share five different ones. Here is just one technique that you may like. It just turns down the volume of that voice that was yakking away.

Imagine that you have a control panel, now this is your control panel so you can have as many buttons, dials, slider switches etc as you want. You will notice that one of these actually controls the volume of that voice and in a moment you can just reach out and gradually turn down the volume of that voice. Do that now and notice that voice get quieter and quieter and quieter.

Personally, because I believe that the coaching session is a time for the client not me I found saying to myself a simple “shh, later – their time not yours” works for me. Whilst that may appear to invite a deluge of negative thoughts after the session – in reality those thoughts are not relevant afterwards.

I’ve also found that the more I used this, the less I’d actually needed to use it. It’s become habit to fully focus on my client and not any negative thoughts.

Preparation

Make life easier for yourself by not having your thoughts go at thousands of miles per hour. Do whatever you know to do to slow those thoughts down prior to your coaching session.

I know some coaches who do a short meditation, others who listen to a particular piece of music, whilst others use other techniques to get into a more useful state.

Personally, I don’t think there is a “right or wrong” way, just ones that will work for you as a coach!

Don’t get caught in a loop

If you notice during a coaching session that you have momentarily been distracted by a thought what do you then do? Curse that you have “done it again”, followed by various other thoughts and stories about how this is just more proof about how bad you are as a coach etc?

Getting caught in a loop of negative thinking or telling yourself a much longer negative story about what that must mean is a very common reaction. Yet, it doesn’t have to be the only way.

What you can also do is to congratulate yourself for noticing and bring your attention back out of your head and to the client in front of you.

You’ll find that you attention returns to your client a lot faster when you don’t start interacting with other negative thoughts that may pass through your head.

As a coach, over time, you will develop your own style. One that you are comfortable with and that works for your clients. As far as I’m concerned, there is no reason why you shouldn’t also find the way that works for you to focus upon your clients and not negative thoughts whilst coaching.

If you have a particular favourite technique etc you use feel free to comment below.