Monthly Archives: March 2024

What If Innate Happiness Exists?

 in quote  tagged coach / coaches / coaching / Daphne du Maurier / happiness / innate happiness / quote
The background is a bright teal/green shade. To the right is a yellow balloon floating in the air with a string fastened to it and dangling down and out of sight at the bottom of the image. The yellow balloon has two eyes drawn on in black and a big smiling face. The text to the left reads: "Happiness is not a possession to be prized, it is a quality of thought, a state of mind." (Daphne du Maurier)"

Today is #InternationalDayOfHappiness so you’ll never guess what I’ve selected today’s quote to be about:

“Happiness is not a possession to be prized, it is a quality of thought, a state of mind.” (Daphne du Maurier)

In our journey through life, we often seek happiness as if it were an external possession to be acquired, chasing after fleeting moments of joy and pleasure Today I invite you to play with a thought experiment: What if, happiness is not something we need to pursue or attain; what if, it is an innate quality of our true nature, a state of mind that arises from within?

What if, at its core, happiness is not contingent upon material possessions, external circumstances, or fleeting moments of pleasure. Instead, how we feel emerges from the way we perceive and interpret the world around us. It is a lens through which we view life—a perspective that colors our experiences and shapes our reality. And under all of that is a innate sense of peace and happiness?

Du Maurier’s insight challenges the conventional notion of happiness as an external pursuit and invites us to explore its true essence within the realm of our thoughts and emotions. It suggests that happiness is not dependent on the accumulation of wealth, status, or achievements but is rather a byproduct of our internal state of being.

What if, at its essence, happiness is not something we need to strive for or chase after; it is already within us, waiting to be uncovered and realized? By recognizing the role of Thought in shaping our reality, we come to understand that our experience of happiness is not determined by external events but by the quality of our thinking in the moment.

As we delve deeper into Du Maurier’s quote, we uncover the transformative power of understanding the nature of thought. What if happiness isn’t about changing external circumstances but the shifting nature of our perspective on life dependent upon our thinking? What if it’s about recognizing the innate resilience and wisdom within us?

Imagine living in a world where happiness isn’t contingent on achieving a certain goal or possessing a specific object. Instead, it flows effortlessly from our ability to embrace the present moment with gratitude and acceptance because that’s when we are closer to our innate nature.

By acknowledging that happiness is our innate state, we could free ourselves from the relentless pursuit of external validation and find solace in the knowledge that true contentment comes from within. It’s not about denying our challenges or pretending that everything is perfect; it’s about embracing life with all its ups and downs and finding peace in the midst of chaos.

So, on this International Day of Happiness, let’s take a moment to pause and reflect on the true nature of happiness. I invite you to play with this thought experiment, that happiness isn’t something to be chased after—it’s something to be discovered within ourselves, in the quiet moments of reflection and gratitude.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.

Transcending Perception: Exploring the Depths of Reality

 in quote  tagged coach / coaches / coaching / perception / proverb / quote / reality
This is a drawn image with brown, greens and white as the colour scheme. In the foreground is a huge anthill with a bird pirched upon the top. This anthill, from our perception as the viewer, is the same height as the trees in the background. The text reads: “A bird that flies off the earth and lands on an anthill is still on the ground.” (Nigerian proverb)

Happy Tuesday! Today’s quote is acually a proverb:

“A bird that flies off the earth and lands on an anthill is still on the ground.” (Nigerian proverb)

This proverb jumped out to me as reflecting something I’m sure we’ve all come across in coaching and as individuals. In the realm of human experience, we often find ourselves confined by the limitations of our own perceptions. We perceive the world through the lens of our thoughts, beliefs, and past experiences, unwittingly creating barriers that hinder our ability to see beyond the surface of reality.

At first glance, this proverb may seem like a simple observation of physical reality. Indeed, a bird may soar high into the sky, but when it alights on an anthill, it remains tethered to the earth. However, if we delve deeper, we uncover a profound truth about the nature of perception and the illusory nature of boundaries.

From a coaching perspective, this proverb invites us to explore the nature of our own perceptions and the ways in which they shape our experience of reality. Just as the bird remains bound by the earth despite its ability to fly, we too remain bound by the limitations of our own thinking.

If we recognise that our experience of reality is not determined by external circumstances, but by the thoughts that pass through our minds, then I’ve found it can become easier to question the truth of those perceptions. We are like the bird, soaring through the vast expanse of the sky, yet tethered to the ground by the invisible threads of our own perceptions.

When we cling to limiting beliefs and entrenched patterns of thinking, we remain trapped within the confines of our own minds, unable to see beyond the boundaries we have created for ourselves. We may strive for success, happiness, and fulfillment, but as long as we are bound by the limitations of our own perceptions, we will continue to feel stuck and constrained.

But what if we could learn to see beyond these self-imposed boundaries? What if we could tap into a deeper level of understanding that transcends the limitations of our own thinking? This is where the transformative power of coaching comes into play.

As coaches, our role is not to provide answers or solutions, but to guide our clients on a journey of self-discovery and exploration. We help them uncover the invisible barriers that hold them back and support them in seeing beyond the confines of their own perceptions. Cultivating an understanding about the illusionary nature of those “barriers” also can make it much easier to see through them in the future.

Through deep listening, insightful questioning, and gentle guidance, we help our clients tap into their innate wisdom and insight, enabling them to see the world with fresh eyes and explore new possibilities. We encourage them to let go of limiting beliefs and embrace a mindset of openness, curiosity, and possibility.

In doing so, we help them break free from the constraints of their own thinking and experience a newfound sense of freedom and possibility. Like the bird that takes flight, they soar above the limitations of their own perceptions and discover a world of infinite potential.

In conclusion, the Nigerian proverb reminds us that true freedom lies not in breaking free from external constraints, but in transcending the limitations of our own perceptions. As coaches, we have the privilege of guiding our clients on this journey of self-discovery and transformation, helping them uncover the boundless possibilities that lie beyond the boundaries of their own minds.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.

Beyond Judgment: Creating a Coaching Space of Understanding and Acceptanc

 in quote  tagged authenticity / coach / coaches / coaching / judgement / quote / Rumi
Thius is a dreamlike image. In the distance there is a treeline with a golden sunrise coming over the horizon so the sky is yellow and red blending into a nights sky with stars. A rolling green field fills the rest of the image with golden sparkly specks in the air adding to that dreamlike feel. It has a tranquil sense, a space of no judgement. The text reads: "Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there." (Rumi)

Happy Monday! Today’s quote is:

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” (Rumi)

Rumi’s words resonate deeply with the essence of what coaching means to me, offering a profound invitation to transcend the limitations of judgment and embrace the boundless realm of understanding and connection. It’s one of those quotes that feels like it’s pointing towards something of real impact but finding the words to describe this does not do it justice.

Reflecting on Rumi’s profound invitation to transcend judgment and embrace understanding, I’m reminded of the transformative potential inherent in coaching relationships. For me, that field is like being wrapped in a duvet of love – safe and secure, yet vast and expansive. It’s a deeply personal space, yet simultaneously expansive and boundless.

In this tranquil and peaceful environment, new thoughts and creativity seem to flow effortlessly, transforming what once appeared as insurmountable challenges into manageable situations. When coaching, this space sets the stage for deep exploration and growth, inviting clients to step beyond the constraints of judgment and into a realm of openness and acceptance.

To me, coaching is about meeting clients where they are, without judgment, and working collaboratively from that place. In recent conversations with clients, I’ve noticed a common theme: fear of judgment often holds them back, even from the very beginning of our work together.

In light of meeting clients without judgment, a cornerstone of my coaching practice is fostering an environment where clients are comfortable being honest and truthful. As a coach, I value honesty and truthfulness from my clients. When clients aren’t fully truthful, it’s usually because their perception of the world differs from mine, and they genuinely believe what they’re saying, or they fear judgment and believe it reflects negatively on them. I don’t see my clients as broken or flawed; underneath their tangled thoughts, they’re whole and capable individuals. I approach each session with an open mind, without making judgments about what they’ve yet to uncover.

Instead of viewing situations through the lens of judgment and criticism, coaches can guide their clients to explore beyond these constructs, fostering an environment of empathy, compassion, and mutual respect.

By helping clients move beyond their limiting beliefs and thought patterns, coaches empower them to access their innate capacity for resilience, creativity, and insight. This allows for transformative breakthroughs and personal growth, fostering deeper connections and relationships.

In coaching conversations, approaching with a sense of curiosity and openness, free from the constraints of right and wrong, can lead to profound insights and understanding. In this space of non-judgmental listening and exploration, clients are empowered to navigate their challenges with clarity and confidence.

Ultimately, Rumi’s quote reminds us of the transformative power of understanding and empathy, principles that I feel lie at the heart of effective coaching. In the field beyond right and wrong, we find the fertile ground for authentic connection and meaningful relationships. I invite you to heed Rumi’s invitation and venture into this field, where compassion and understanding flourish, and where the seeds of peace and harmony are sown.

Ready to experience coaching without judgment? Schedule an initial chat or drop me an email to start your journey towards growth and authenticity

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.

Waiting in Peace: Cultivating Patience on the Coaching Journey

 in quote  tagged coach / coaches / coaching / patience / peace / quote / Sir John Lubbock
This is a dreamlike image of a tranquil sandy beach and calm clear blue sea. The sun is shining and in the foreground to the right 6 smooth stones are balanced in size order on top of one another . The text reads: "When we have done our best, we should wait the result in peace." - Sir John Lubbock

Happy Sunday! Today’s quote is:

“When we have done our best, we should wait the result in peace.” (Sir John Lubbock)

In whats often reffered to as a fast-paced world, where instant gratification often reigns supreme, the concept of waiting for results in peace may seem counterintuitive. However, if you coach from an inside out perspective, Sir John Lubbock’s words offer invaluable insights into the power of patience and trust in the coaching journey.

As coaches, our role is to guide and support our clients as they navigate their personal and professional challenges. We may offer strategies, insights, and encouragement to help them achieve their goals and aspirations. Yet, despite our best efforts, there comes a point where we must relinquish control and allow the process to unfold naturally.

This quote serves as a poignant reminder that after exerting our utmost effort, we must entrust the process and await the outcome with a sense of peace. It doesn’t entail passive inaction or idleness; rather, it entails seeking inner calm and serenity, acknowledging that we’ve fulfilled our part and allowing the universe to unfold as it should.

It’s important to note that this doesn’t imply a stagnation of personal growth or development; it simply means recognising that we’ve given our best in the present moment. It doesn’t mean you can never improve your skills or understanding further to make quicker and greater impact. It’s about honoring your current best without feeling constrained by it indefinitely

This concept aligns with the understanding that our experience of reality is created from the inside-out. Our thoughts, beliefs, and perceptions shape our reality, and when we’re able to cultivate a sense of peace within ourselves, we invite that peace to permeate our external circumstances.

So how can we, as coaches, embody this principle in our practice?

First and foremost, it’s about cultivating a deep sense of trust in the coaching process. Trust that our clients have the innate wisdom and resilience to navigate their challenges. Trust that the insights and breakthroughs will emerge in their own time. And trust that, as coaches, we are merely facilitators in their journey towards growth and self-discovery – it’s not our job to produce answers ourselves.

Secondly, it’s about embracing patience as a guiding principle in our coaching practice. Instead of rushing to find solutions or fix problems, we can create space for our clients to explore, reflect, and uncover their own answers. This requires us to resist the urge to intervene or provide immediate solutions and instead allow our clients the freedom to discover their own truth.

Finally, it’s about embodying a sense of peace and presence in our coaching interactions. When we approach our work with a calm and grounded presence, we create a safe and supportive environment for our clients to explore their thoughts and feelings without judgment or pressure. This sense of peace not only benefits our clients by fostering deeper connections and trust, but as an added bonus it also transforms outcomes for us as coaches. By embodying peace, we may notice a positive difference in our own perspective and the overall coaching experience.

In conclusion, Sir John Lubbock’s quote reminds us that as coaches, our role is not to control or dictate outcomes but rather to trust in the inherent wisdom of the coaching process. By embracing patience, trust, and peace in our practice, we can create profound opportunities for growth, transformation, and self-discovery for ourselves and our clients alike.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.

True Silence: Rest for Mind and Spirit

 in quote  tagged coach / coaches / coaching / mind / quote / rest / silence / spirit / William Penn
This has a dreamlike animated feel to the image, It is a serine forest woyj a green mountain in the distance. The sun is setting behind the mountain and the sky is mainly reds and yellows as the night rolls in. In the foregoround is a tranquil lake with the greens of the mountain and trees reflected on its still surface. The text reads: "True silence is the rest of the mind; it is to the spirit what sleep is to the body, nourishment and refreshment." (William Penn)

Happy Friday! Today’s quote is:

“True silence is the rest of the mind; it is to the spirit what sleep is to the body, nourishment and refreshment.” (William Penn)

Silence is not merely the absence of sound; it is a space of being—a sanctuary where the mind can find respite from the relentless chatter of thoughts and worries. Just as sleep rejuvenates the body, true silence offers a space for the mind to rest, recharge, and regain clarity.

Sometimes, it can feel that in the chaos of modern life, finding moments of true silence can be challenging. Our days are filled with constant distractions—from buzzing smartphones to overflowing to-do lists. Yet, amidst the noise, there exists a sacred stillness waiting to be discovered.

In the midst of external chaos, true silence provides an opportunity to reconnect with the innate wisdom and tranquility that reside within us.

When we quiet the incessant chatter of our minds, we create space for insight, creativity, and intuition to emerge. It is in these moments of stillness that we can more easily listen to our inner wisdom and find answers to life’s most pressing questions.

Moreover, that space that Penn is describing as true silence has a profound impact on our spiritual well-being. Just as nourishing food sustains the body, silence nourishes the spirit, providing sustenance for our innermost being. In the absence of external distractions, we can cultivate a deeper connection with our true selves and rest within that space. True silence allows us to access this innate wisdom and resilience, empowering us to navigate life’s challenges with grace and equanimity.

Yet, sometimes we resist embracing silence. We seek solace in distractions or external stimuli, unaware that true peace lies within. We’re often accustomed to relying solely on our +tellect. So, it can feel counterintuitive to give our intellect some time off—to send it on a spa break, if you will—and simply rest in that space.

There’s whole practices that allow you to embrace that silence intentionality. It can means carving out time for solitude and reflection, away from the noise and distractions of the outside world. Its also possible to take a moment at any time to let your mind quieten as best you can because that space is always available to us – even when we dont seem to feel it. I think it does means cultivating a willingness to sit with discomfort and uncertainty, or at least not resisting an of that feeling as the intellect wants to figure everything out. Instead trusting that true wisdom will emerge in the silence.

As we journey through life, may we remember the profound wisdom of true silence—a sanctuary for the mind and spirit. May we cultivate moments of stillness amidst the chaos, allowing nourishment and refreshment to wash over us like a gentle breeze. And may we embrace the transformative power of silence to awaken our true selves and illuminate the path forward.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.

Finding Resilience: Lessons from Queen Victoria’s Wisdom

 in quote  tagged coach / coaches / coaching / perspective / Queen Victoria / quote / resilience / wisdom
This image is split into two halves. On the left is a empty great hall with columns around the edges and giant arched windows behind a stage. All the lights are shining fully and seats either side of an aisle are all facing towards the stage. The image on the right is of an office with a sindle desk with an empty chir in front of a computer. Papers and files are pilled everwhere , including on the floor and some of the boxes on shelves are stacked haphazardly. The text reads: "Great events make me quiet and calm; it is only trifles that irritate my nerves." (Queen Victoria)

Happy Thursday! Today’s quote is:

“Great events make me quiet and calm; it is only trifles that irritate my nerves.” (Queen Victoria)

In what seems to many as today’s fast-paced world, where the constant barrage of information and stimuli can overwhelm even the most resilient among us, Queen Victoria’s words offer a timeless reminder of the power of perspective and resilience. Let us delve deeper into the wisdom encapsulated in this profound statement and explore how it can inform our approach to navigating the ups and downs of life.

At first glance, Queen Victoria’s assertion may seem paradoxical. How can someone remain serene and composed in the face of significant events while being easily perturbed by minor inconveniences? Yet, upon closer examination, her words reveal a profound truth about human nature: our responses to external circumstances are shaped by our internal perceptions and thinking.

Stormy seas

Consider the metaphor of a ship navigating through stormy seas. During moments of great turmoil and upheaval, when the waves are crashing against the hull and the winds are howling, the captain must remain steadfast and focused. It is in these moments of crisis that calmness and clarity of mind are most crucial, guiding the ship safely through the tempest. All the Captains attention is on focusing upon what is happening in that moment – there is little room to get caught up in thinking around other things or even what may happen in any time but the immediate future.

In much the same way, when confronted with major life events or challenges, we are called upon to summon our inner strength and resilience. Whether it be the loss of a loved one, a career setback, or a global crisis, maintaining a sense of quietude and calm can help us weather the storm with grace and dignity. It’s not uncommon for individuals to report, after experiencing a significant event, that they operated almost instinctively, without overthinking. This suggests that in moments of crisis, our natural response is to prioritise immediate action over complex thought processes – just focus upon that one thing in front of you.

Trifles

On the other hand, it is often the trifles—the things we can think of as petty annoyances and minor inconveniences—that have the power to unravel our composure and apparently disturb our peace of mind. From the frustration of being stuck in traffic to the irritation of a malfunctioning device, these seemingly insignificant disturbances can seem to chip away at our patience and resilience. We can get caught in loops of thinking, piling meaning and stories upon how we think about the original circumstance so that we end up feeling totally overwhelmed by our own thinking.

Perspective

So, what can we learn from Queen Victoria’s words, and how can we apply it to our own lives? One key insight is the importance of perspective. By recognizing the relative insignificance of trifles in the grand scheme of things, we can choose to respond to them with equanimity rather than allowing them to dictate our emotional state.

One way you could do that is by using that feeling of overwhelm as a type of alarm clock if you like, a reminder that any moment we can relax our metaphorical grip on all the pile of thinking we have going on and let that just evaporate so we can just see that original circumstance for what it is without all the extra baggage of story telling and thinking.

Resilience

Moreover, Queen Victoria’s words remind us of the power of resilience—the ability to bounce back from adversity and remain steadfast in the face of challenges. It’s often said that kids can bounce back so much faster from things than adults and I’d like to suggest that this is because we are all born with that ability, we just often get into the habbit of overthinking that we forget that at any moment we can relax back into that space of inner wisdom where it seems resilence comes from.

In essence, Queen Victoria’s quote serves as a poignant reminder of the value of maintaining perspective and resilience in the face of life’s challenges. By embracing her wisdom, we can cultivate a sense of calm amidst the chaos and navigate the journey of life with grace, dignity, and fortitude.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.

Radiating Sunshine: Spreading Joy and Kindness in Coaching

 in quote  tagged coach / coaches / coaching / J. M. Barrie / joy / kindness / quote / sunshine
The background of this image is in a watercolour style with golden rays of sunshine emanating from the top blending into reds and oranges at the bottom of the image. The text reads: "Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves." (J. M. Barrie)

Happy Wednesday! Today’s quote is:

“Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.” (J. M. Barrie)

In the realm of coaching, we often encounter profound truths that resonate deeply with our understanding of human nature and our capacity for positive change. One such truth is beautifully encapsulated in the quote by J. M. Barrie: “Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.” This simple yet profound statement holds within it a wealth of insight into the interconnectedness of our actions and their impact on both others and ourselves.

At its core, this quote speaks to the power of kindness, compassion, and generosity—the qualities that allow us to uplift and inspire those around us. When we extend a helping hand, offer a listening ear, or share a moment of joy with others, we not only brighten their day but also nourish our own spirits. By spreading sunshine, we create an abundance of warmth and light that envelops not only those we touch but also ourselves.

But what does it mean to “bring sunshine into the lives of others”? It goes beyond acts of kindness or generosity; it’s about embodying qualities such as empathy, understanding, and love in our interactions with others. Being a source of positivity, encouragement, and support, even in the face of challenges or adversity, is essential. Whether it’s offering words of encouragement to a struggling friend, lending a helping hand to someone in need, or simply sharing a smile with a stranger, each act of kindness has the power to brighten someone’s day and lift their spirits.

Moreover, bringing sunshine into the lives of others is not just a selfless gesture—it’s also an act of self-care and nourishment. When we give freely of ourselves, whether it’s our time, attention, or love, we create a ripple effect of positivity that returns to us in unexpected ways. By shining our light into the world, we attract more light into our own lives, illuminating the path ahead and guiding us towards greater fulfillment and happiness.

In the context of coaching, this principle holds particular significance. As coaches, we have the privilege of guiding and supporting others on their journey of personal growth and transformation. By embodying the qualities of kindness, compassion, and positivity in our coaching practice, we not only empower our clients to thrive but also cultivate a sense of fulfillment and joy within ourselves. It’s a symbiotic relationship where both parties benefit from the exchange of positive energy and support.

Have you ever witnessed someone melt at the sight of a contented baby or a cute puppy/kitten? When someone is in that space of calm, peace, and wisdom, with little thinking on their mind, it can be infectious, with those around them often quieting down. It’s like a resonance.

The reason I like this quote in connection to coaching is because it speaks to the direction my coaching has headed—helping clients connect more with their own wisdom and creativity, while I guide them through exploration of that space.

In conclusion, J. M. Barrie’s quote reminds us of the profound truth that those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves. By embracing the power of kindness, compassion, and generosity, we uplift those around us and nourish our own spirits, experiencing greater fulfillment and happiness in our lives. As coaches, let us strive to embody these qualities in our practice and spread positivity wherever we go, knowing that in doing so, we create a brighter and more joyful world for all.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.

Flexibility in Action: Navigating Life’s Twists with Grace

 in quote  tagged adaptability / coach / coaches / coaching / coincidence / flexibility / planning / proverb
A 3D faceless human figure is stood to the right of a flip chart and stand. The figure is wearing a black tie and is pointing to the flip chart. The words on the flip chart reads: "Coincidence defeats a well-laid plan" (Filipino proverb)

Happy Tuesday! Today’s quote is actually a proverb:

“Coincidence defeats a well-laid plan” (Filipino proverb)

While it may seem counterintuitive, this proverb carries profound wisdom that resonates with both our personal and professional experiences.

In our fast-paced world, we can often pride ourselves on meticulous planning and strategic thinking. We meticulously outline our goals, chart our course of action, and leave little room for deviation. However, despite our best efforts, life has a way of throwing unexpected curveballs our way.

Think about a time when you meticulously planned every detail of an event or project, only to have it derailed by an unforeseen coincidence or twist of fate. Perhaps it was a chance encounter that led to a serendipitous opportunity, or a random event that completely altered the trajectory of your plans. Whatever the case, these moments serve as powerful reminders that we are not always in control of our circumstances.

Real life can be fluid, and situations can change in manners we could never have imagined. Let’s face it; a global pandemic in 2020 was not on many people’s radar as a possibility. By necessity, many plans had to be altered, be they personal or business ones.

So, how do we reconcile the tension between planning for the future and embracing the uncertainty of the present? How do we navigate the delicate balance between intentionality and spontaneity in our coaching practice?

Flexibility and Adaptability

One approach is to adopt flexibility and adaptability. Instead of rigidly adhering to our plans, we can learn to embrace the unexpected and see coincidences as potential catalysts for growth and innovation. Rather than viewing them as obstacles to our success, we can reframe them as opportunities for learning and discovery. Or just look at them as the next step to complete.

Moreover, coincidences often have a way of revealing hidden patterns or connections that we may not have noticed before. They can serve as valuable clues or signposts that guide us toward new insights or directions. By remaining open and receptive to these synchronicities, we can tap into a deeper wisdom that transcends our logical reasoning.

In my coaching practice, I’ve seen firsthand the transformative power of embracing coincidence and spontaneity. Instead of viewing them as disruptive forces, I encourage my clients to see them as invitations to explore new possibilities and perspectives. By letting go of rigid expectations and embracing the flow of life, they often discover hidden opportunities and insights that lead to profound shifts in their thinking and behavior. When we think that something “should” happen a certain way, then it’s entirely possible we just aren’t thinking to look for other potentially easier or better routes, etc.

By the very conversational style of coaching, it lends itself to being flexible and adaptable. You may have an idea where the conversation is heading, but at any question, it may become obvious it needs to diverge in a different direction.

I’ve spoken to so many over the years who are just starting as a coach and feel that they should have the conversation fixed in their heads ahead of time. That they need to know all the questions that they “should” ask and have a plan for any technique, story, or exercise they think they may use during the session.

Clinging onto that belief, that way of thinking means that they also tell me that they feel pressure and tension. When they let go of that expectation and release that thinking, they find that they can relax into their coaching, and the conversation usually flows much more easily.

Of course, this is not to say that planning is irrelevant or unnecessary. Planning provides us with a sense of direction and purpose, helping us to stay focused and organized in pursuit of our goals. However, it’s essential to recognize that plans are not set in stone and that flexibility is key to navigating the complexities of life.

In conclusion, the proverb “Coincidence defeats a well-laid plan” reminds us of the inherent unpredictability of life and the importance of remaining open and adaptable in the face of uncertainty. By embracing coincidence as a natural part of the human experience, we can harness its transformative power and navigate life’s twists and turns with grace and resilience.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.