“Old mismanagement is no excuse for the continuance of it.” (Albert, Prince Consort)
In the realm of coaching, the pursuit of growth and transformation is paramount. We strive to guide our clients towards realizing their full potential, navigating obstacles, and fostering positive change. However, entrenched patterns of mismanagement can often hinder progress, holding individuals back from achieving their goals. As coaches, it’s imperative that we embrace this principle and empower our clients to “break free” from the shackles of past mismanagement.
Many more traditional coaching methods may focus solely on external strategies and behaviour modification, my coaching tends to delve deeper, addressing the root cause of mismanagement by gaining an understanding of how thought underlies that mismanagement. It only takes one fresh thought to see a better way and for change to naturally follow.
When we encounter clients who are grappling with the consequences of past mismanagement, whether in their personal or professional lives, it’s essential to approach the situation with compassion, understanding, and a commitment to fostering positive change. Rather than dwelling on past mistakes or assigning blame, personally, I invite clients to explore the innate resilience and wisdom within themselves, guiding them towards new insights and perspectives. It just seems a far more pragmatic and practical way forward.
One of the fundamental principles of my current coaching is the recognition of the ever-present capacity for insight and transformation within each individual. Regardless of past mismanagement or perceived limitations, every person possesses the innate ability to tap into their inner wisdom and chart a new course forward. By fostering a supportive environment grounded in trust and authenticity, coaches can empower their clients to break free from the cycle of mismanagement and embrace a path of growth and renewal.
Sometimes, individuals may find themselves stuck in patterns of mismanagement simply because they haven’t questioned the status quo. Whether it’s accepting a situation as unchangeable or implementing strategies that offer only temporary solutions, the key lies in taking a fresh perspective. By encouraging clients to re-examine their circumstances with curiosity and openness, they can unlock new insights and creative solutions. This shift in perspective empowers clients to recognize that change is possible and that they possess the innate wisdom and resourcefulness to navigate challenges effectively.
As a coach, it has always been important to me to lead by example and embody the principles of resilience, adaptability, and continuous learning. By embracing our own capacity for growth and self-improvement, we can inspire and motivate our clients to do the same. Through ongoing support, guidance, and encouragement, coaches can create a nurturing environment where clients feel empowered to take ownership of their lives and create positive change.
To me, this perspective underscores the notion that tradition should not hinder progress. While change for the sake of change may not always be beneficial, it’s essential to reassess established practices when they no longer serve their purpose. If something isn’t working, it’s pragmatic to approach it with fresh eyes. But I’m curious, how does this quote resonate with you? What insights or reflections does it inspire?
About Jen Waller
Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.
As an experienced coach and trainer, Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.
“In scattering seeds of kindness, do it by hand and not by machine.” (George Ade)
As coaches, our primary aim is to nurture growth, foster development, and inspire positive change in our clients. We strive to empower them to reach their fullest potential, guiding them through challenges and celebrating their successes. However, I think that particularly when you are first starting coaching amidst the plethora of techniques and methodologies you come across, it’s easy to lose sight of the fundamental essence of coaching: the human connection.
George Ade’s timeless quote, “In scattering seeds of kindness, do it by hand and not by machine,” encapsulates a profound truth that resonates deeply with the philosophy of how I now approach coaching. In a world driven by efficiency and automation, it’s crucial for coaches to embrace the significance of being human in their practice.
My coaching now comes from the grounding of the understanding that our experience of life is created from the inside out, through the interplay of thought, consciousness, and mind. Unlike traditional coaching approaches that often focus on external strategies and behaviour modification, my coaching now delves into the core of human experience, emphasizing the innate wisdom and resilience within each individual and use that understanding to get new insights on actions to take etc. I’ve found that such understanding also allows life to be navigated in a much gentler fashion so that when unexpected challenges do appear they can be handled with more grace and patience.
While my coaching approach prioritises understanding the internal dynamics of the human experience, it doesn’t imply passivity. Instead, it encourages us to trust our intuition, wisdom, and creativity, allowing us to navigate challenges with grace and patience. By aligning with our inner guidance rather than imposing external strategies, we find a harmonious balance between productivity and personal fulfilment. I find it’s a kinder way for us to treat ourselves and still get things done.
In essence, it does seem to me that coaching is about sowing the seeds of kindness, understanding, and compassion in the fertile soil of human consciousness. It’s about cultivating an environment where clients feel seen, heard, and valued for who they truly are, beyond their roles, titles, or achievements.
If we are to look at the whole quote in the context of coaching, what does it mean for coaches to “scatter seeds of kindness by hand”? For me, it means approaching coaching with a genuine spirit of empathy and presence, where every interaction is imbued with warmth, sincerity, and respect. It means taking the time to truly listen to our clients, not just to their words, but also to the deeper currents of their thoughts and emotions.
In practical terms, this might involve creating a safe and non-judgmental space where clients feel comfortable expressing their vulnerabilities and exploring their innermost thoughts. It might mean offering words of encouragement and support, not as empty platitudes, but as genuine reflections of our belief in their potential for growth and transformation. It’s about allowing the conversation to unfold naturally and authentically, rather than relying on pre-determined directions or habitual questions. By staying present and attuned to the client’s needs, we can foster a deeper level of understanding and connection.
Moreover, “scattering seeds of kindness by hand” entails recognizing and honouring the unique humanity of each individual we work with. It means seeing beyond their surface behaviours or presenting problems and acknowledging the inherent worth and dignity within them. It means embracing a coaching approach that is holistic, inclusive, and deeply respectful of the diversity of human experience.
In a world that often values speed and efficiency above all else, the practice of coaching offers a powerful antidote—a reminder of the timeless wisdom that resides in human connection and within our authentic selves. As coaches, we have the privilege and responsibility to nurture this connection, to tend to the garden of human consciousness with care and compassion.
About Jen Waller
Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.
As an experienced coach and trainer, Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.
“Now everybody who knows anything at all knows perfectly well that even a business letter does not deserve the paper on which it is written unless it contains at least one significant phrase that is worth waking up in the night to remember and think about.” (Eleanor Hallowell Abbott)
I pick these quotes for a variety of reasons, they jump out at me sometimes because I love the way something is worded and what it is pointing towards. Other times it may be because I agree with some of what’s said and there’s a part that feels slightly off and seems to be screaming to have a blog post written about it. Then there are the quotes that fall into the category of what do I need/want to hear about, the ones on an area I’ve been pondering about. There’s an element of that in today’s.
What makes a message something that is worth waking up and thinking about?
In the past I think if I’d been writing this I’d have talked around eloquent and eloquence language use, but then I’d have missed out on something before that.
Abbott’s insight challenges us to look beyond the surface of language and into the heart of communication itself. While eloquence certainly has its place, the true power of a message lies in its ability to resonate deeply with its recipient. It’s about more than just stringing together impressive words or phrases; it’s about conveying meaning, evoking emotion, and sparking thought. In essence, it’s about crafting messages that touch the soul and linger in the mind long after they’ve been received.
I think that there are two angles that are likely to prompt someone to wake up at night and think about your communication. The first is when the communication deliberately plays to and stirs up insecure and fearful thinking. It’s the sort that goes one step further than just describing a situation – it’s the sort of messaging that if it was a real life person would be that individual that likes to over dramatise, burning sausages becomes burning down the house etc.
Speaking from Truth
The second is when you speak from Truth.
For me, the first angle highlights the importance of ethical communication that uplifts and empowers rather than manipulates or instils fear. When messages deliberately play on insecurities or exaggerate situations for dramatic effect, they may grab attention momentarily but ultimately erode trust and authenticity. In contrast, speaking from Truth involves communicating with integrity, honesty, and compassion. It’s about sharing insights and perspectives that resonate with our deepest values and beliefs, fostering connection and understanding rather than division or fear.
I understand that this isn’t everyone’s perspective. I do think it explains why so many I speak to find the idea of marketing as “yuck”, they usually feel like it’s some sort of dirty thing that they need to do in order to do the thing that they love – coaching. They usually have a lot of thinking about how it should be done, and it feels like it’s a constant struggle to get the energy and motivation to do any communication that falls under the category of marketing or sales communication.
What if you can flip the script on traditional marketing and instead focus on authentically sharing your truth and value with others? What if marketing became an opportunity to connect deeply with your audience, to inspire and uplift them rather than manipulate or instil fear? By embracing Abbott’s insight and speaking from Truth, you can transform your communication into something that resonates on a profound level, leaving a lasting impact on those who receive it.
Imagine crafting messages that not only capture attention but also touch the hearts and minds of your audience, prompting them to reflect, engage, and take meaningful action. Instead of resorting to flashy tactics or empty promises, you can authentically share your passion, expertise, and vision with the world. This shift in perspective can turn marketing from a chore into a powerful tool for connection and transformation.
So, how do you speak from Truth in your communication? When you communicate from a place of authenticity and alignment with your core principles, your message naturally resonates with sincerity and integrity. I suspect that depending upon your own coaching approach, you may already know how to do that – maybe by getting clear on your values, beliefs, and the unique contribution you have to offer. Or just by getting really quiet and letting your own wisdom and creativity guide you. It will let you become a beacon of light in a sea of noise, drawing in those who resonate with your message and repelling those who don’t – and that’s okay.
Many years ago, I had a conversation with someone who didn’t go on to become a client. In fact, at one point during the call, I was seriously wondering if someone was pranking me. They said that they were having problems finding anyone who wanted to coach with them.
Upon questioning, it became obvious that they hated coaching, they didn’t like questioning people, in fact I suspect that in that moment they’d have broadened it to they didn’t really like people and couldn’t see any value in coaching. They really didn’t understand why anyone would voluntarily be a coaching client, let alone pay for it. When asked why they wanted to be a coach, they were honest and said it was because they thought it was an easy way to get money. If I had to guess, I’d say their potential clients were picking up on all of that and being repelled.
Moreover, speaking from Truth doesn’t mean you have to have all the answers or be perfect. It’s about being genuine, transparent, and vulnerable, acknowledging your humanity and inviting others to join you on the journey. When you approach communication with humility and openness, you create space for authentic connection and collaboration, fostering relationships built on trust and mutual respect.
I’m in the process of transitioning how I work to solely working as a Transformative coach, as opposed to any other type of coaching I’ve blended in the past. It’s been how my coaching has naturally evolved, and eventually it became evident to me that it was time to work completely in this form. Which means the way that I’m talking about my work is also transitioning to be a truer reflection of what I now do.
The way I’m doing that is to give myself permission that for a bit it won’t be as eloquent or diligent in my use of language as I try and find the way that is the best description of how I work now and what that is all about.
I’m guessing that if you’ve read this far, you could be in a similar situation and hoping for inspiration to strike. If so, I invite you to do two things:
i) to give your permission for this to seem clunky at first – don’t set yourself the expectation that it’s got to be perfect on the very first draft.
ii) let yourself get as quiet as you know how, and start by “fishing” for words that seem like they’re a fit. It may be that you think that the words that come up just seem really obvious and doesn’t that apply to everyone – without knowing the word then maybe, but in my experience what often happens is that words that come up that seem obvious are the ones that resonate must with how you work.
For example, nurturing is one that often came up for me. It’s always resonated and for me was an integral part of coaching – it took a mentor pointing out that not everyone coaches from that place that I came to recognise that for myself. And that can be modified and played with overtime – as I transition to completely being a transformational coach, what feels right as a description is impactful nurturing.
In conclusion, Eleanor Hallowell Abbott’s quote reminds us of the profound impact that meaningful communication can have on both the sender and the receiver. It challenges us to move beyond surface-level interactions and embrace the power of authentic expression. By speaking from Truth, we can transform our communication into a force for positive change, fostering connection, understanding, and empowerment. So, as you navigate your coaching journey, remember the importance of crafting messages that resonate with sincerity and integrity. Embrace your unique voice, share your passion, and invite others to join you on the journey toward growth, transformation, and fulfilment.
About Jen Waller
Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.
As an experienced coach and trainer, Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.
In honour of today being #WorldTheatreDay, today’s quote is:
“All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players: They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts, His acts being seven ages.”. (William Shakespeare)
I’m going to be looking at this from thoughts it’s sparked for me in relation to coaching, rather than analysing this as you may have done in an English class!
Upon reflecting on Shakespeare’s profound words, what strikes me most is the intricate web of roles we assume throughout our lives. These roles come with a set of implicit rules, dictating our behaviours, expectations, and limitations. We often find ourselves bound by societal norms and personal beliefs, shaping our actions based on perceived obligations and responsibilities tied to each role.
Consider the roles we inhabit daily: parent, partner, employee, friend. Each carries its own script, a preconceived notion of how we should perform and what we should prioritise. Yet, it’s not merely the external expectations that influence us; our internal dialogue, thoughts, and beliefs also play a pivotal role. They shape our perception of these roles, colouring our interactions and experiences in subtle yet profound ways.
Our thoughts, beliefs, and perceptions act as the playwright behind the scenes, crafting the narrative of our lives. They determine which roles we embrace wholeheartedly and which ones we resist. They influence the choices we make, the paths we take, and the relationships we cultivate. In essence, our inner world shapes the stage upon which we play out the various acts of our lives.
Similarly, it’s crucial to ponder what roles we assume that aren’t inherently ours. Often, we find ourselves shouldering burdens and responsibilities that exceed our domain. This self-imposed pressure and tension serve as red flags, signalling that we may be venturing into territory beyond our rightful sphere of influence.
Upon closer examination, we may discover that these perceived obligations lie outside the realm of human control. Attempting to manage or fix situations beyond our purview only leads to frustration and disillusionment. Recognizing and relinquishing these misplaced roles liberates us from unnecessary stress and empowers us to focus on what truly matters within our sphere of influence.
This notion prompts us to delve deeper into our essence beyond the roles we enact. Who are we when stripped of all roles, including the constructs of self-image and identity? Exploring this existential question unveils the core of our being, free from societal expectations and personal narratives.
If we were to wield the pen as the playwright of our own lives, unbound by external scripts or preconceived notions, what narratives would we craft for ourselves? What dreams would we dare to pursue, and what aspirations would we fervently chase? Embracing this creative autonomy empowers us to shape our destinies authentically, guided by our deepest desires and aspirations.
It’s a common misconception to view our thinking as akin to a movie reel, playing out in a linear and predetermined fashion. We often believe that once a thought sequence begins, we’re obligated to see it through to its conclusion, as if it were etched in stone. However, what if we were to reframe our understanding of thought as more akin to a live theatrical performance?
In this metaphor, our thoughts take on the fluid and dynamic nature of a play unfolding on stage. Like actors delivering their lines, our thoughts emerge spontaneously and interact with one another in real-time. However, unlike a movie with a fixed script, a play offers room for improvisation and spontaneity. Just as actors may deviate from the planned dialogue or encounter unexpected plot twists, our thoughts can veer off script, leading us down unanticipated pathways.
Moreover, the theatrical analogy invites us to consider the behind-the-scenes elements of our thinking process. Just as a theatre production has its backstage areas where the mechanics of the show are at work, our minds harbour a realm of subconscious processes and unseen influences. Sometimes, these “backstage” workings manifest in our conscious awareness, offering glimpses into the inner workings of our minds.
Furthermore, technical issues may arise during a theatrical performance, disrupting the flow of the show and revealing the artifice behind the illusion. Similarly, in the realm of thought, we may encounter disruptions or glitches that challenge our assumptions and disrupt our habitual patterns of thinking. These moments of cognitive dissonance or uncertainty serve as opportunities for growth and insight, prompting us to question our ingrained beliefs and perspectives.
Just as a theatre production may be interrupted by unforeseen circumstances, such as a power outage or a medical emergency, our thought processes can be disrupted by external events or internal triggers. These interruptions force us to pause, reassess, and adapt to the ever-changing landscape of our inner world.
Then there is always the option of us voluntarily leaving a performance at any point – though with a thought there is no other audience members toes to avoid standing upon in an attempt to creep out without disruption. In this instance, you can confidently just leave the thought performance and go and watch another instead – even picking an immersive interactive thought performance if you wish.
By embracing the metaphor of thought as theatre, we invite a sense of playfulness and flexibility into our relationship with our own minds. Rather than rigidly adhering to fixed scripts or resisting unexpected plot twists, we can approach our thoughts with curiosity and openness, exploring the rich tapestry of our inner experiences with a spirit of adventure.
In doing so, we cultivate a greater sense of agency and autonomy over our thinking, recognizing that we are not passive spectators but active participants in the ongoing drama of our lives. By embracing the fluidity and spontaneity of thought, we empower ourselves to rewrite the script of our own narratives, forging new pathways of understanding and possibility.
So what about you? What thoughts did this quote prompt for you?
About Jen Waller
Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.
As an experienced coach and trainer, Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.
“A guest sees more in an hour than the host in a year.” (Polish proverb)
At first glance, the proverb may seem paradoxical. How can a guest, who spends only a fleeting moment in a host’s domain, possess greater insight than the host, who dwells within it year-round? The answer lies in the power of perception and perspective. A guest enters a situation with fresh eyes, unencumbered by preconceived notions or biases. They notice the subtle details, observe the interactions, and absorb the ambiance in a way that the host may overlook in their familiarity.
I think this proverb points to one of the aspects that many find really powerful about coaching. The coach acts a trusted pair of fresh eyes upon a situation. What may just seem to a client that something has always been the case, and it’s never occurred to them to question may be obvious to a coach to question. It’s from this coaching perspective that we can have impact.
In the realm of coaching, this proverb takes on a deeper significance. Coaches often serve as trusted guides, offering insights from a coaching perspective on their clients’ experiences and challenges. Like the guest in the proverb, coaches approach each coaching session with a sense of curiosity and openness, ready to explore new insights and perspectives alongside their clients.
One of the unique aspects of coaching is the ability to create a safe and supportive space for clients to share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences without fear of judgment or criticism. In this way, coaches act as facilitators of exploration and discovery, helping their clients uncover hidden truths and insights that may have eluded them in their day-to-day lives.
Moreover, the proverb underscores the importance of presence in coaching. By remaining fully present and engaged during coaching sessions, coaches can pick up on subtle cues and nuances in their clients’ words and behaviours, allowing for a deeper exploration of their experiences and perceptions. This heightened level of awareness enables coaches to provide more targeted and impactful guidance, helping their clients navigate challenges and obstacles with greater clarity and confidence.
A different coaching perspective
From another coaching perspective, looking at our own coaching and coaching business with new eyes can also be revealing. How easy is it for an interested client to get in touch with you? What information does someone new to your coaching need? By adopting the perspective of a guest in our own coaching practice, we can uncover areas for improvement and refinement that may have gone unnoticed in our day-to-day operations.
For example, imagine stepping into the shoes of a potential client visiting your coaching website for the first time. Are your services clearly outlined? Is your contact information easily accessible? Do you demonstrate the value of your coaching? By considering these questions from the perspective of an outsider, you can identify opportunities to enhance the accessibility and effectiveness of your coaching business.
Furthermore, the proverb encourages us to embrace a mindset of continuous learning and growth in our coaching practice. Just as a guest brings fresh insights and perspectives to a host’s home, so too can ongoing education and professional development enrich our coaching skills and offerings. Whether through attending workshops, seeking mentorship, or engaging in peer-to-peer learning, coaches can expand their knowledge and expertise, ultimately benefiting both themselves and their clients.
By adopting the perspective of a guest in our coaching practice, we not only gain valuable insights into our own blind spots and areas for improvement but also cultivate a deeper understanding and appreciation for the transformative power of coaching. Just as a guest sees more in an hour than the host in a year, so too can we uncover new possibilities and opportunities for growth by approaching our coaching with fresh eyes and an open heart.
As we continue on our coaching journey, let us embrace the wisdom of the proverb and strive to create dynamic and enriching coaching experiences that inspire growth, insight, and transformation for ourselves and our clients alike.
Ultimately, the Polish proverb “A guest sees more in an hour than the host in a year” reminds us of the transformative power of perspective and perception in coaching. By embracing humility, curiosity, and openness, coaches can create dynamic and enriching coaching experiences that foster growth, insight, and self-discovery for both themselves and their clients.
As we reflect on this proverb, let us remember to use our coaching perspective as the wisdom of the guest and strive to approach each coaching session with fresh eyes and an open heart, ready to explore new insights and possibilities together with our clients.
About Jen Waller
Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.
As an experienced coach and trainer, Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.
“By doubting we come to enquiry, and through enquiry we perceive truth,” (Peter Abelard)
In the realm of coaching, we often seek clarity, understanding, and truth. We aspire to guide our clients towards insights that can catalyse growth and transformation. Yet, in our pursuit of truth, we may overlook a fundamental aspect of the human experience: doubt. There can be inherent wisdom embedded within the process of questioning and enquiry.
Doubt is often viewed as a hindrance, a sign of uncertainty or insecurity. However, Abelard invites us to reconsider the role of doubt in our quest for truth. Rather than seeing it as an obstacle, we can embrace doubt as a gateway to deeper understanding. When we doubt, we are prompted to inquire, to explore, and to seek answers. It is through this process of questioning that we begin to unravel the layers of illusion and misconception that obscure the truth.
In coaching, doubt can serve as a catalyst for growth and transformation. When a client expresses doubt, it is an opportunity to delve deeper, to explore the underlying beliefs and assumptions that may be holding them back. By encouraging clients to question their perspectives and thinking, coaches can facilitate a process of self-discovery and insight.
Moreover, doubt opens the door to curiosity and enquiry. Instead of accepting things at face value, we are encouraged to dig deeper, to explore alternative viewpoints, and to challenge our assumptions. Through enquiry, we gain new perspectives, uncover hidden truths, and expand our understanding of ourselves and the world around us.
Sometimes, “I don’t know” is just about not knowing yet. We can judge ourselves all we like about the length of time something “should” take, but I seldom find that increasing a feeling of pressure with that judgment speeds up an answer. Being comfortable with not resisting uncertainty allows fresh and new thinking to arise.
As coaches, we can cultivate an environment of openness and curiosity, where doubt is welcomed as an integral part of the coaching process. By creating a safe space for clients to explore their doubts and uncertainties, we empower them to engage in a journey of self-discovery and growth.
Furthermore, Abelard’s quote reminds us of the importance of discernment in our quest for truth. Not all inquiries lead to truth; some may lead us down dead ends or false paths. However, it is through the process of discernment that we learn to distinguish between what is true and what is merely illusion.
So, what about the coach? What if we’re doubting?
As coaches, we’re not immune to doubt ourselves. There are moments when we may question our abilities, our approach, or even the effectiveness of coaching itself. However, it’s essential to recognize that our doubts can be just as valuable as those of our clients. They can serve as signals for growth and self-reflection, prompting us to examine our assumptions and explore new avenues of learning.
Embracing our own doubts allows us to model vulnerability and authenticity for our clients, fostering deeper connections and trust within the coaching relationship. By acknowledging and exploring our doubts, we can refine our skills, deepen our understanding, and ultimately become more effective guides on the journey towards truth and self-discovery.
I would suggest that exploration takes place in your own time rather than during a coaching session with a client. For me, that time is the client’s, my role is to be fully present with them as best I can. This means setting aside personal uncertainties and focusing entirely on the person in front of me, creating a safe and supportive space for their exploration and growth.
Outside of sessions, I can dedicate time I want to reflect on my doubts, seeking mentorship, further education, or personal development opportunities to address them constructively if I feel it’s important. Ideally, bring a sense of playfulness into exploring what is being pointed towards. By prioritising my own growth and self-awareness, I ensure that I can show up as the best possible guide for my clients, offering them unwavering support and encouragement on their journey towards their own truth and self-discovery.
Ultimately, Abelard’s words serve as a powerful reminder of the transformative power of doubt and enquiry in our journey towards truth. By embracing doubt as a catalyst for growth, cultivating curiosity and enquiry, and exercising discernment, we can unlock new insights, deepen our understanding, and empower ourselves and our clients to live more authentic and fulfilling lives.
As we continue on our coaching journey, let us embrace doubt as a friend rather than a foe, recognizing its potential to lead us towards deeper truth and understanding. Through doubt and enquiry, we open ourselves up to a world of infinite possibilities, where truth awaits those brave enough to seek it.
About Jen Waller
Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.
As an experienced coach and trainer, Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.
“I don’t think of the past. The only thing that matters is the everlasting present.” (W. Somerset Maugham)
Take a moment to immerse yourself in a thought experiment. Imagine awakening with the sudden inability to recall the past or envision the future. All that exists is the vibrant tapestry of the present moment, unfurling before you like a blank canvas. What would that experience be like for you?
For me, this hypothetical scenario evokes an immediate sense of connection and presence. It’s as if a weight has been lifted from my shoulders, allowing me to fully engage with the here and now. There’s a palpable calmness and stillness that permeates my being, enabling me to channel my undivided attention towards whatever unfolds in front of me. How does it resonate with you?
Too often, we find ourselves caught in the web of thought, endlessly ruminating on the past or projecting into the future. We expend precious energy yearning for things to be different from how they are, resisting the inherent beauty and richness of the present moment. Memories from the past may hold us captive, entangling us in intricate narratives of judgment and regret.
But what if we could release ourselves from this mental entrapment? What if we could relinquish the need to dwell on what has been or what might be, and instead embrace the boundless potential of the everlasting present? In doing so, we open ourselves up to a world of possibilities, where each moment is an invitation to savour, cherish, and celebrate.
It’s important to note that embracing the present moment doesn’t imply disregarding the skills and valuable lessons we’ve acquired for the future. Rather, it means recognizing that our habits of thinking can be dropped at any moment. Even if we momentarily forget this ability, we can always remember it again. So, instead of dwelling on self-criticism for forgetting, we can gently bring ourselves back to the present and bypass judgmental thoughts altogether.
By cultivating an awareness of the everlasting present, we unlock the door to boundless joy, creativity, and inner peace. So, as you go about your day, I invite you to pause, breathe, and immerse yourself fully in the richness of each moment. For it is here, in the tapestry of the present, that we discover the profound beauty of being alive. Let’s cultivate a deeper awareness of the present moment, allowing it to unfold with grace and intention. For in the richness of the here and now, we discover the true essence of life itself.
About Jen Waller
Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.
As an experienced coach and trainer, Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.
“But let no person say what they would or would not do, since we are not judges for ourselves until circumstances call us to act.” (Abigail Adams)
In this quote, Abigail Adams challenges the notion of preconceived judgments and underscores the importance of context in determining our actions. She reminds us that it is only when faced with real-life circumstances that we truly understand the depths of our convictions and the choices we make. Let’s delve deeper into this thought-provoking quote and explore its relevance in our lives today.
Adams’ words resonate with the uncertainty and unpredictability of life. Often, we find ourselves forming opinions and making declarations about what we would or would not do in certain situations. However, such assertions are based on speculation rather than lived experience. We may believe we know ourselves well, but it is only when confronted with the complexities of real-life scenarios that our true character is tested.
Consider, for example, a hypothetical scenario where someone proclaims they would never compromise their values for personal gain. While this declaration may seem noble in theory, it is only when faced with a moral dilemma in the heat of the moment that one’s true convictions are put to the test. Circumstances have a remarkable way of challenging our beliefs and forcing us to confront our innermost values.
Judgement
Moreover, Adams’ insight highlights the fallibility of human judgment. We are often quick to judge others based on their actions without considering the context in which those actions occurred. However, as Adams suggests, we cannot fully understand another person’s choices until we have walked in their shoes. What may seem like a clear-cut decision from the outside may be far more complex when viewed from the individual’s perspective.
Furthermore, Adams’ words urge us to embrace humility in our interactions with others. Instead of passing judgment or making assumptions about someone else’s behavior, we should strive to cultivate empathy and understanding. Recognizing that we are not the ultimate arbiters of truth allows us to approach situations with an open mind and a willingness to learn from different perspectives.
In today’s world, where social media and instant communication often fuel snap judgments and knee-jerk reactions, Adams’ wisdom serves as a timely reminder to pause and reflect before rushing to conclusions. Rather than jumping to conclusions based on incomplete information, we should strive to withhold judgment until we have all the facts.
Perspective
What this quote also points towards is that our experiences of our cirmcumstances is directly a result of our thinking in that moment. So if you are in a low mood with lots of rubbish thinking you could react differently to the same minor inconvienience then if you had been in a great mood with not a lot on your mind.
I have found that if you have an understanding about that’s just how we work as humans that it’s much easier not to make knee jerk reactions because of low moods. I tend to be more aware that with that thinking going on that its not a great time to make life changing decisions or say something that will make situations worse.
An awareness and trust in the existance in our own innate wisdom also means that it is often easier to notice and listen to any guidance that shows up in the moment – you may think of that as intuition or a gut feeling. It’s something that operates in the now, rather than when we project our thinking into the future to try and predict what we would do. Which means that in any moment we have the possibility of something occuring to you in that moment that would never have occured to you before.
In conclusion, Abigail Adams’ quote serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of humility, empathy, and open-mindedness in our interactions with others. By recognizing the limitations of our own judgment and embracing the complexities of human experience, we can cultivate a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world around us. Ultimately, it is only through the crucible of real-life circumstances that our true character is revealed, and our capacity for empathy and compassion is tested.
About Jen Waller
Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.
As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.
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