Connection lives in what’s real, not in the perfection of what might have been.
“There are always three speeches, for every one you actually gave. The one you practiced, the one you gave, and the one you wish you gave.” (Dale Carnegie)
Most of us know that feeling: the replay that starts the moment something ends.
We plan, perform, then review, often more harshly than kindly.
But the real power is in the one we actually gave, the moment that existed only once.
That’s where connection lives, in the aliveness of what’s real rather than the perfection of what might have been.
Questions For Coaches
- What helps you meet your own “third speech” with kindness?
- How do you support clients in letting go of what they wish they’d said or done?
- When have you seen presence matter more than perfection?
- What changes when reflection turns from criticism to curiosity?
You don’t need to answer every question, just notice which one feels alive for you.
About Jen Waller
Jen Waller helps people reconnect with the aliveness of what’s real — beyond self-criticism and imagined perfection.
Her coaching invites reflection without judgment, making space for insight, growth, and self-kindness to emerge naturally.
Click here to discover if my coaching might be a fit for you.