In today’s guest post coach Helen Collier shares a personal thank you ….

“Dear money, thank you for . . . .”

By Helen Collier

Yesterday, just before I sat down to write this blog post, a prompt dropped into my inbox. It asked ‘If you were to write a thank you letter to money what would you say?’

What an intriguing question. What would I say? Would it be like one of those countless letters I wrote to my aunts thanking them for the talcum powder, done out of duty rather than real appreciation? What on earth would I say to money if I was thanking it. Here’s what I said:

Dear Money

I’m writing this to say thank you for all the great gifts you’ve given me over the years.

I can’t remember you at all for the first few years of my life. You must have been there, no matter how much or how little.

Then the memories start to return.

In my early years there wasn’t a lot of you around. I’m not sure at what point I began to notice this. The people around me all seemed to have the same amount of money. Or did they? There was a fear in the background. (How will we manage? You’ve not paid your stamp! I do my best! There’s a baby on the way.)

All hazy thoughts of the messages that seemed to relate to you. But what were you doing? You were just there. Sometimes more of you (my horse has come in), sometimes less of you (there’s never enough). And here I am.

I have such lovely memories of you. You bought us treats on Saturday night. It was amazing what we could get for 5 shillings (25p) to satisfy the sweet tooth of 5 children and 2 adults. Walnut whip, sherbet lemons, pear drops, chocolate éclairs. You were always there for those Saturday Nights. Thanks for the memories and the tastes.

You felt wonderful as someone passed a piece of you to me on that Whit Sunday Walk. I pushed you into the palm of my hand inside my glove. As the walk continued my glove filled up with money.

I can feel it now. Too much money for a little girl to hold in her hand alone.

When did I realise I could trade you for an Ice Cream and that it could taste so good? When did I move from saying to the second person that gave me a coin,

‘It’s all right I’ve got one already’(how sweet),

to getting really excited and wondering when I’d get the next one, in anticipation of that ice cream? (How greedy) Was it you that was different or was it me as I learned my money dance? Money gets you things (shouldn’t want things). Money, you were just there, sometimes less of you sometimes more of you. Thank you for the delicious ice cream!

The way you slipped into the little charity envelopes, one coin into each of the seven pockets. I loved the feel (money’s tight, there’s not enough). But there you were and there was I and this was helping the children of Africa (good girl).

Thank you money for simply feeling so lovely and snug in those envelope pockets.

In teenage years I began to see that some people had more than others (There’s those that have and those that don’t. We don’t. Can’t change it. That’s how it is. Mustn’t want things, Make do, Must pay your way).

Such shame that I had a second hand uniform. Such shame that I felt shame that I had a second hand uniform (What about the children in Africa?). Such shame that children in Africa didn’t even have a school uniform. Where were you then? You were there, and I was there, and the children in Africa were there.

Do you know money, I need to say a heartfelt thank you for being there in my life – no matter how much, no matter how little, no matter what.

On my way to financial independence, saving for my first ‘grown up’ holiday. One envelope for each expense. One for the travel, one for the B and B, one for spending, one for food. Sixteen by now and I still loved the play part of money. The ordering it, sorting it, anticipation of something good to come. Pride that I was earning and saving it myself. Yet more experiences and learning. Thank you money.

That was the early years and then I got big! It was harder to see you as simply being there. It was easier to adsorb the messages that surrounded you.

People like us don’t have money. If you have money you’re not like us. The only way a working man can get any money is a win on the pools. You have to work hard for your money.

A confusion of messages

Do well. I want more for you. Work to be worthy. Don’t accept gifts of money. Don’t deserve it. If you’ve got money then you’re not us.

More guilt, more shame, more battles, more rebellion. Where were you money? You were just there in different amounts in different places. Thank you money for being there in my life.

In the last few years I’ve been doing more learning and leaning on you. Thank you for being there to support me. There’s still lots to disentangle and I’m seeing more and more that you are simply there as people weave their stories around you. I’m seeing you as a money maypole around which we all dance. With different levels of money, skill, knowledge, understanding, emotion and awareness. Hence the knots, clumps and tangles. Our practical, emotional and spiritual messes around the maypole money.

You’ve been caught and tied up by my mind, my heart and my soul. You’ve tolerated the distortions I’ve woven around you. Thank you for being there no matter how much, no matter how little.

Thank you for continuing to let me dismantle the knots I’ve tied around you so that you can take up your rightful place in my life, no more, no less. Just there.

Helen

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The prompt came from me! It is one of my ‘Money Prompts to your Inbox’ series. I wasn’t expecting it to land just at that moment! There it was right in front of me, it just seemed right and ripe for this blog.

Writing that letter, this week, showed me just what progress I have made personally in getting money into its rightful place in my life, no more, no less.

As a money coach I help clients explore their relationship with money so they too can begin to untie the knots they’ve created around money and give money its rightful place, no more, no less.

So, use it how you will and maybe write that letter yourself. I’d love to hear about it.

About Helen Collier

Helen Collier is a money coach working with clients around money issues, focusing on relationship and money. She trained with the Money Coaching Institute in California. Helen developed Harmoney as a direct response to her growing disquiet that something was out of balance in the financial world. She set an intention to play her part by supporting people to put money in its rightful place in their lives, no more, no less. Helen writes a weekly column for the Yorkshire Evening News and blogs regularly.

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Website: www.harmoneylife.co.uk