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Don’t Fail to Try: The Cost of Missed Opportunities

To try and fail is at least to learn to fail to try is to suffer the inestimable loss of what might have been. Chester Barnard 600 x 400

The quote of the day is:

“To try and fail is at least to learn; to fail to try is to suffer the inestimable loss of what might have been.” (Chester Barnard)

Chester Barnard was an American business executive and author from the first half of the 20th century. As a coach you have probably, either experienced for yourself or seen in your clients an inertia because of a fear of something not working out so no action is taken unless success is guaranteed.

Many people have at least one topic which seems very serious to them, which means they feel they need to be extra cautious – business and money are two common ones. Every decision is meticulously planned, risks are calculated to the smallest detail, and actions are only taken when every step has been considered—sometimes in triplicate. This approach seems rooted in common sense, emphasising logic and practicalities in the real world.

However, sometimes this meticulous planning becomes a barrier rather than a bridge. People find themselves stuck, unwilling to take any physical action unless they are 100% certain that everything will go smoothly without any unforeseen circumstances arising. But here’s the thing: life happens. Unforeseen circumstances are a part of any journey, and encountering them doesn’t mean the whole project is a failure—unless you decide to stop and give up entirely.

Yet there are others who in these areas do not approach those same topics in that manner. They may put something in place to mitigate anything that potentially won’t go to plan, but that doesn’t stop them taking any action. They may take it one step at a time and evaluate as they progress – allowing for learning to happen and things to be seen that wouldn’t have been evident if no action had been taken.

In my experience, life “lifes”! It’s a whimsical way of saying that life is unpredictable and ever-changing. No matter how much we plan, there’s always an element of the unknown. And that’s okay. It’s in these unexpected moments that we often find opportunities for growth and learning.

The fear of failure can be paralysing. It can prevent us from seizing opportunities that could lead to significant advancements, both personally and professionally. Chester Barnard’s quote reminds us that even in failure, there is value. To try and fail is to learn; it’s a step forward, not a step back. On the other hand, failing to try is an immeasurable loss—the loss of potential experiences, growth, and achievements that might have been.

So, how can we move past this fear and embrace the possibility of failure as a learning opportunity? Here are some things to consider:

Embracing the Journey Over the Destination

Firstly, it’s essential to shift our focus from the outcome to the process. When we concentrate solely on the end result, we miss out on the valuable experiences that come with the journey. Each step, each misstep, teaches us something new.

Redefining Failure

Consider redefining what failure means to you. Instead of seeing it as a negative endpoint, view it as a feedback mechanism. Failure isn’t a brick wall; it’s a stepping stone. Thomas Edison famously said about his attempts to create the lightbulb, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

I remember tweeting that quote, when this blog used to be on what was Twitter, and someone responding with if they’d been Edison’s boss they’d have sacked him long before. I did point out that (a) he discovered several things in the process, such as the electric battery, (b) I don’t know of many inventions that don’t go through many stages of testing and refining, that just seems to be a standard process, and (c) how short-sighted to then miss out on Edison’s electric light bulb just because you thought the process should have taken less time.

Taking Calculated Risks

While it’s important to plan and prepare, recognise that not every variable can be controlled. Taking calculated risks means making informed decisions but also being open to possibilities beyond our control. It’s about finding a balance between caution and courage.

Learning to Adapt

Adaptability is a crucial skill in today’s fast-paced world. When unforeseen circumstances arise, being flexible allows us to adjust our plans without abandoning our goals. It’s about bending without breaking. I’m certain that there are many instances in your own lifetime when you have had to adapt to unforeseen circumstances beyond your control – whether they were ones happening on a global level or had a much smaller reach, but just as significant, on a personal level.

Cultivating Resilience

What do you think about Resilience? Taking resilience to mean the ability to recover quickly from difficulties. If you know that within you, you are much stronger than you imagine, then does the idea of resilience seem easier as well? It’s not about avoiding challenges but facing them head-on and learning from them, maybe even bouncing back stronger. Each challenge overcome adds to our learning, and can be said to be preparing us for future obstacles to seem easier to navigate.

Seeking Support and Collaboration

Don’t underestimate the power of a support system. Sharing our goals and fears with others can provide new perspectives and encouragement. I know in theory as a coach our work would suggest this is a core belief for us. However, when was the last time you made time to make use of that for yourself? Collaboration can lead to solutions we might not have discovered on our own.

Celebrating Small Wins

Acknowledge and celebrate the small victories along the way. These moments of success boost confidence and motivate us to keep moving forward.

In conclusion, the real loss lies not in trying and failing, but in not trying at all. Each attempt, whether successful or not, brings us closer to our goals and helps us grow. So take that first step, embrace the uncertainties, and remember that every experience contributes to your journey.

Reflective Questions:

  • Have you ever held back from pursuing something due to fear of failure?
  • What steps can you take to move past that fear and take action?
  • How can embracing failure as a learning opportunity change your perspective?

I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences related to this topic. Feel free to share them in the comments below.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is a transformative coach dedicated to empowering individuals to get out of their own way and make a meaningful impact in the world. With an impactful, nurturing coaching style, Jen supports clients in unlocking their potential and achieving their goals. As an experienced coach and trainer, she guides clients from self-doubt to success.

Discover how Jen can support you to get out of your own way here.


Let Go: Coaching Questions for Finding Clarity and Presence

The image depicts an artistic and symbolic arrangement featuring a pair of white headphones encircling a red heart-shaped box on a light wooden surface. The heart box is open, revealing its bright red interior, contrasting vividly with the soft white color of the headphones. The setting conveys a message of love, possibly suggesting listening to one's heart or emotions. The simplicity of the composition, with its clean and minimalistic aesthetic, focuses attention on the central elements of the headphones and heart, emphasizing their interconnectedness. Above this poignant scene, there is a quote by Rumi: "Let go of your mind and then be mindful. Close your ears and listen!"

The Quote Of The Day is:

“Let go of your mind and then be mindful. Close your ears and listen!” (Rumi)

Questions For Coaches:

  • In what ways do you encourage clients to practice deep listening to themselves and their environment?
  • Reflect on a time when you let go of mental chatter and gained clarity. What did you experience?
  • In what ways can letting go of rigid thinking open you to new creative ideas and solutions in your coaching business?

Bonus Questions:

  • In what ways does letting go of overthinking allow you to experience deeper clarity and inner peace?
  • What practices can you adopt to cultivate deeper listening to yourself and others?
  • How can letting go of the need for constant mental activity improve your decision-making at work?

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is a transformative coach dedicated to empowering individuals to get out of their own way and make a meaningful impact in the world. With an impactful, nurturing coaching style, Jen supports clients in unlocking their potential and achieving their goals. As an experienced coach and trainer, she guides clients from self-doubt to success.

Discover how Jen can support you to get out of your own way here.


The Power of the Present: Questions for Living and Planning for Now

The image captures a striking and dynamic close-up of water, featuring a single water droplet caught in the act of impacting the surface, which causes a series of concentric ripples to emanate from the center. The moment is frozen in time, showcasing the droplet suspended above the surface and the delicate splash crown that forms around the point of contact. The entire scene is rendered in grayscale, emphasizing the fluid textures and the play of light and shadow on the water's surface. Above this detailed and tranquil depiction of a water droplet, there is a quote by Robert Barr: "The present moment is ever the critical time. The future is merely for intelligent forethought."

The quote of the day is:

“The present moment is ever the critical time. The future is merely for intelligent forethought.” (Robert Barr)

Question For Coaches:

  • How true does this quote seem to you?
  • How do you currently balance living in the present with planning for the future?
  • How do you know when you are in the present moment?
  • What challenges do you face in staying focused on the present rather than worrying about future outcomes?

Bonus Questions:

  • What insights arise when you let go of future concerns and focus on the wisdom available to you right now?
  • How does being fully engaged in the present moment help you make more intentional and fulfilling life choices?
  • How can staying focused on present tasks improve your productivity and decision-making?

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is a transformative coach dedicated to empowering individuals to get out of their own way and make a meaningful impact in the world. With an impactful, nurturing coaching style, Jen supports clients in unlocking their potential and achieving their goals. As an experienced coach and trainer, she guides clients from self-doubt to success.

Discover how Jen can support you to get out of your own way here.


Intuition Unseen: Coaching Questions about the Invisible

The image features a beautifully ethereal and colorful sky with fluffy clouds tinted in shades of purple, pink, and blue, conveying a dreamy and surreal atmosphere. The clouds are illuminated from behind or within, suggesting the presence of light not visible in the frame, which enhances the mystical and otherworldly feel of the image. Centered in this vibrant cloudscape is a quote by Confucius: "How abundantly do spiritual beings display the powers that belong to them! We look for them, but do not see them; we listen to, but do not hear them; yet they enter into all things, and there is nothing without them."

The quote of the day is:

“How abundantly do spiritual beings display the powers that belong to them! We look for them, but do not see them; we listen to, but do not hear them; yet they enter into all things, and there is nothing without them.” (Confucius)

Questions For Coaches:

  • How does this quote resonate with you?
  • What practices do you use to become more attuned to the subtle influences around you?
  • How can tuning into your intuition or inner guidance help you make better career choices?

Bonus Questions:

  • How do you align with the belief that spiritual insight is always present, even if not immediately perceivable?
  • What role, if any, does spirituality play in how you handle life’s challenges and uncertainties?
  • How do you guide clients to recognise that not everything of value is visible or immediately understood?

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is a transformative coach dedicated to empowering individuals to get out of their own way and make a meaningful impact in the world. With an impactful, nurturing coaching style, Jen supports clients in unlocking their potential and achieving their goals. As an experienced coach and trainer, she guides clients from self-doubt to success.

Discover how Jen can support you to get out of your own way here.


The Mysterious Mind: Unveiling the Nature of Thought and Consciousness

The image portrays a mesmerizing forest scene bathed in ethereal and magical light. The woods are dense with tall, slender trees, and the forest floor is carpeted with what appears to be a vibrant, pinkish-purple hue. Rays of light filter through the canopy, casting beautiful, speckled patterns of illumination and creating a dreamlike atmosphere. The scene is enhanced by floating particles or sparks that resemble tiny stars or fireflies, adding to the overall mystique and enchantment of the setting. Accompanying this visual feast is a quote by Elsa Barker: "Our minds are the most mysterious things about us."

The quote of the day is:

“Our minds are the most mysterious things about us.” (Elsa Barker)

This quote by the American novelist, Elsa Barker got me thinking about thinking and the nature of thought. So much of the self help industry is about controlling and manipulating our thinking. Sure, the techniques and approach to how that is done may alter, but at the heart it’s generally about looking at specific thoughts. I’m not criticising that approach, it can be helpful – I spent years becoming qualified in several modalities that address symptoms and were really helpful.

Certainly, the content of our thoughts can indeed be mysterious—even perplexing at times. For example, just the other night, I had a dream about vampire cats. It left me scratching my head upon waking—why on earth did my mind conjure up such an odd scenario? Was it something I ate? A hidden fear? Or perhaps my adorable feline tried to nibble me awake, seeking attention in the early hours.

Unveiling the Nature of Thought

This bizarre dream got me thinking about how unpredictable and enigmatic our thoughts can be. If my mind can produce such a peculiar image without any obvious trigger, it begs the question: Where do our thoughts actually come from? Is there a deeper source or mechanism at play beyond our conscious control?

A simple shift in focus from trying to interpret or control individual thoughts to exploring the very nature of Thought itself is part of the difference between how I coach now and how I used to coach. Instead of getting caught up in the endless complexity of thought content, I became curious about the origin of thinking—about how and why thoughts arise in the first place. At this level, I find that huge impact can happen without having to go and identify a “problem” thought and change that thinking.

Exploring the Nature of Thought: Different Perspectives

We rarely pause to consider the origin of our thoughts – at least I didn’t until I started to look in this direction. Do they arise solely from neural processes in the brain? Are they influenced by something beyond our individual selves? Philosophers, scientists, and spiritual leaders have debated these questions for centuries.

  • Philosophical Perspectives: Philosophers like Descartes pondered the nature of consciousness, famously stating, “I think, therefore I am.” But what enables us to think in the first place? Is there a fundamental essence of mind that we all share?
  • Scientific Insights: Neuroscience tells us about brain waves and synaptic connections, mapping how thoughts may form. Yet, even with advanced technology, the exact moment a thought emerges remains elusive—a spark in the dark.
  • Spiritual Views: Many Eastern philosophies suggest that thoughts arise from a universal consciousness. In mindfulness practices, thoughts are observed as passing phenomena, not necessarily owned by us but flowing through us.

I’m not a Neuroscientist, so I will leave that avenue to those experts, neither have I got a doctorate in philosophy so I will leave that angle for others to tackle. The spiritual approach of how we seem to work as a human and the practical implications of that is what my work is all about, so I will focus upon that perspective.

The Nature of Thought in Coaching

By shifting our focus from the content of individual thoughts to the nature of Thought itself, we can begin to see our minds in a new light. Instead of viewing thoughts as problems to be solved, we can perceive them as waves in the ocean of consciousness—natural, ever-changing, and part of a larger whole. One aspect of my work is to guide clients to recognise that thoughts are transient and arise from a universal consciousness, which can lead to profound personal transformations.

This perspective can be liberating. People often find that, naturally and effortlessly, changes occur, such as:

  • Reduce Anxiety: When we stop trying to control every thought, we relieve ourselves of an impossible task.
  • Enhance Creativity: Openness to whatever thoughts arise can foster greater creativity and innovation.
  • Find Peace: Recognizing that not every thought requires action or judgment can bring a sense of calm.

Only recently, a client was telling me that a family member had got curious about what had happened because they could see such a difference in the way my client was now in their relaxed approach to life, yet with things positively unfolding quicker than before. My client was saying how powerful seeing this is, and the impact it can have.

Reimagining Reality: The Nature of Thought and Perception

What if, we live in the feeling of our thinking? It won’t have escaped your notice that if you are conscious that you are thinking a happy thought then a feeling of happiness accompanies it. But what if that was the case for all thoughts – even the ones that you aren’t conscious off having. Any feelings of pressure and stress are just our system’s way of drawing attention to, not the specific content of a thought, but that we are innocently grasping onto some thinking. A reminder, if you like, that we don’t have to hang on to that thought, the option to relax our grip on it is there.

What if, it’s the energy that thought is made from that is influencing how we feel. Does the intrinsic power of thought shape our emotional state?

What if, how we perceive the world is made up from our thinking – almost as if it’s forming a holographic projection around us, as determined by the power of thought. Is our reality is a reflection of our mental processes?

I invite you to consider for yourself – it may be that you can easily see that in some areas of your life that you easily see the influence that Thought has, whilst in others, that just seem really real. What if that it applies to those areas as well?

Our minds are indeed mysterious, but perhaps that’s something to celebrate rather than fear. By exploring where our thoughts come from, we open the door to greater self-understanding and compassion. Instead of wrestling with every thought, we can learn to observe them, appreciate the mind’s complexity, and embrace the mystery. I’d love to hear your perspectives. What are your thoughts on the origin of thinking? Feel free to share in the comments below.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is a transformative coach dedicated to empowering individuals to get out of their own way and make a meaningful impact in the world. With an impactful, nurturing coaching style, Jen supports clients in unlocking their potential and achieving their goals. As an experienced coach and trainer, she guides clients from self-doubt to success.

Discover how Jen can support you to get out of your own way here.


What defines a miracle? Exploring personal perspective

A short clip from our Coaching From The Soul 7th August live stream. Every 3-4 weeks myself and some coaching colleagues get together online to share a conversation with the broad brief of what we’re seeing about what it’s like to be human! As you may imagine, the conversation may go in any direction, in this call the topic of miracles had come up – and this was my answer to what is a miracle.

How to Watch More Coaching From The Soul

To watch the whole live stream that this clip came from, you can see that here.

Join us tonight, Wednesday 25th September at 6.15 pm UK live for our next call and see what topics come up for us this month

The Coaching From The Soul YouTube channel has lots of short clips taken from previous conversations, as well as the complete past chats.


Questions About Harnessing the Transformative Power of Love: Building Resilience Through Self-Love and Compassion

The image is a visually captivating depiction of a heart, rendered in vibrant and glowing colors against a dark, cosmic-like background. The central heart is composed of radiant red and pink hues that transition smoothly into one another, with an inner heart glowing brightly in a golden yellow light. This inner heart casts a warm, soft glow, creating a luminous effect that appears to pulsate with energy and warmth. Surrounding the hearts are subtle hints of a mystical or celestial environment, suggested by what might resemble distant stars or soft glows in the backdrop. The overall effect is one of depth and intensity, making the heart seem as though it is both a source of light and warmth. Above this heart, a quote by John Barbour reads: "For love is of such potent might, That of misfortune it makes light."

The Quote Of The Day is:

“For love is of such potent might, That of misfortune it makes light.” (John Barbour)

Questions For Coaches:

  • Do you support clients in developing self-love as a way to build resilience, if so, in what ways?
  • How does practising love for yourself and others impact your ability to stay resilient in tough times?
  • In what ways can love for your work or passion for your profession help you overcome obstacles?

Bonus Questions

  • How does focusing on the deeper feeling of love help you navigate difficult situations with clarity and strength?
  • What impact does love and connection have on your daily life and fostering emotional strength and well-being?
  • What do you see about the transformative power of love in overcoming misfortune?

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is a transformative coach dedicated to empowering individuals to get out of their own way and make a meaningful impact in the world. With an impactful, nurturing coaching style, Jen supports clients in unlocking their potential and achieving their goals. As an experienced coach and trainer, she guides clients from self-doubt to success.

Discover how Jen can support you to get out of your own way here.


Reflections of Our Thinking: Coaching Questions About How Inner Beliefs Shape Our World

The image presents a breathtaking view of Earth from space, capturing the planet in a striking, luminous display. The Earth is shown at night, with city lights twinkling brightly across the continents, primarily highlighting Europe and parts of Asia and Africa. The horizon glows with a soft, radiant blue light, where the sun's rays just begin to brush the curvature of the planet, creating a delicate gradient from day to night. The vastness of space serves as the backdrop, dotted with countless stars that add a sense of depth and infinity. This celestial scene is both awe-inspiring and humbling, emphasizing the beauty and fragility of our planet within the expansive universe. Above this majestic view, a quote reads: "What you see in yourself is what you see in the world." (Afghan Proverb)

The Quote Of The Day is:

“What you see in yourself is what you see in the world.” (Afghan Proverb)

Questions For Coaches:

  • In what ways do your inner beliefs shape your view of challenges or opportunities in the world?
  • How does your thinking about your capabilities affect the risks you take or avoid in your career?
  • How do you help clients recognize the connection between their self-perception and how they view the world?
  • What does this proverb prompt for you?

Bonus Questions

  • What insights emerge when you realise that your experience of the world reflects the nature of your thoughts and feelings?
  • How do your attitudes toward yourself shape the way you approach challenges and setbacks in life?
  • How does your view of your personal and professional worth shape the way you promote your coaching?
  • How do you guide clients to recognize that their external challenges may reflect internal beliefs or fears?

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is a transformative coach dedicated to empowering individuals to get out of their own way and make a meaningful impact in the world. With an impactful, nurturing coaching style, Jen supports clients in unlocking their potential and achieving their goals. As an experienced coach and trainer, she guides clients from self-doubt to success.

Discover how Jen can support you to get out of your own way here.