In today’s guest post coach Gail Gaspar tell us:

What You Need to Know About F.O.M.O.

(Fear of Missing Out)

By Gail Gaspar

If you’re a feeling a bit overwhelmed by all the offers, incentives and possibilities out there, I have a suggestion.

Stop shifting into perpetual fifth gear, trying to keep up or reach for more, and start remembering how to shift into neutral.

Pause. Pause is where your pulse lives.

Funny thing…for years, I believed in the opposite, in the supreme power of motion. Continuous motion. I’ve come to learn, it’s not about “either-or” it is about “yes-and,” when it comes to the relationship between action and absence of action. Each speed is key to cultivating a decision-making process that feels aligned and true.

Mindful action is greatly informed and fueled by what I call the Pause Principle.

Everything we do has the potential to be infused with resonant action when combined with pause.

“The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.” –Mark Twain

Here’s a personal story where pausing before taking action literally saved me thousands of dollars and made room for a better-fit alternative. A highly publicized program recently came to my ATTENTION. You know, the message blast that comes at you from all directions, invitations and incentives galore, inferring you will be left in the dust if you don’t sign up?

I’m not often one to succumb to FOMO or Fear of Missing Out. But this one got through my radar. The course deadline looms. Primitive instincts move into high gear. Adrenaline races. I reach for dark chocolate.

Is the program something I need or even want? I was not searching for this kind of program. I set out to make an empowering decision, using the Pause Principle.

First, I took a look at the program. Then I put a question to trusted friends and colleagues on a professional forum to see what they know. Next, I step away from external data, dial my attention inside to become aware of my own sensations. (Note I did not say to see what I “think.” More about this in a later post.) I become quiet. Notice tight breath and chest, indicating some resistance. Soft focus allows me to get in touch with what my business needs now. I realize it is not this. Instead, I want to dig in to resources I already have and focus on implementing a few actions I already know. The result: I feel empowered by my choice and validated by my process.

Opportunities abound for infusing the Pause Principle. These examples provide insight and access to pause for decision-making when you need to get clear, get calm and prioritize:

• A client tells me that one of his key takeaways from our coaching was “not to rush into problem solving; to take time to pause, observe and assess first.
• Loretta, my yoga instructor says, “The challenge is in the pause of each pose. The pause is what strengthens us.”
• Laura, my coach colleague says, “I pause to check inside. Then I push it [the question or challenge] away and keep checking back [for what’s true].“

We know the cumulative impact of racing toward nothing, reaching for more, putting too much emphasis on what and who’s out there. A very effective antidote is becoming quiet, shifting to that place of pause.

How can the pause principle find its way in to your life? What is the easiest way for you to practice pause? We would love to hear from you in the comments below, on Facebook and on Twitter.

P.S. This is the first in a series of mindfulness posts. Don’t want to miss a post? Get on the list to get it direct to your inbox. Or check the blog for a treasure trove of curated mindfulness resources to empower your actions.

©2014 Gail Gaspar

About Gail Gaspar

Gail guides solopreneurs to make powerful, intentional and true choices for unprecedented personal and professional growth, impact, freedom and fun.

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