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Still feel like there is so much more to learn about coaching?

 in Coaching  tagged business coach / business coaching / career coaching / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching session / coaching skills / coaching techniques / executive coach / Free resource / knowledge / leadership coaching / learn / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / Marianne Williamson / performance coaching / personal development / resource / skills / Socrate

Prior to university I remember taking part in a local charity fundraising team quiz. A question on history came up and I recall saying to one of the other older team members – “you’ve got a degree in history, what’s the answer?”

Looking back I’m pretty certain that my belief system was that to get a degree in history you would need to know every single historical fact. It didn’t seem to have crossed my mind the number of facts that are associated with the entire billions of years that the Earth has been in existence!

At some stage of studying more history myself I changed my belief and expectations about having that specific qualification meant I would know the answer to any history question. In fact the more I studied and learnt the more I became aware of what there was still to explore.

As Socrates said, “The more I learn, the more I learn how little I know.”

So why am I talking about history in a post about coaching? It’s prompted by the number of conversations I have with people who are putting off coaching and assisting “real people” because they don’t know enough.

A proportion of these individuals will “keep moving the goal posts” as they learn more and identify other areas they would like to know more about and develop more skills etc. As that happens they put off using the skills and knowledge they already have.

It means that there can be very knowledgeable individuals, who often have been able to demonstrate skills in a training environment, and yet won’t share this with people and groups they could be assisting now.

Before I go any further I want to make it perfectly clear I am not in any way shape or form suggesting that you immediately stop looking to increase your skills and knowledge. I’m also not suggesting that you don’t bother learning them in the first place.

What I do encourage you to explore is any underlying beliefs around knowledge and not knowing something. Let me ask you a question, would you be OK with not knowing everything and still using the skills and knowledge you already have?

Notice what your response was to that question.

Being comfortable with not knowing something does not mean that you cannot choose to gain that information. It just means you don’t have to feel bad about not currently knowing it!

You may also notice what you imagine “using the skills and knowledge you already have” would mean you would be doing.

Did you interpret it as asking if you have set up your own coaching business coaching lots of paying clients? If that’s what you want to be doing, then personally I think that’s fantastic.

However, that’s not the only way that you can use your existing coaching knowledge and skills. How can you use what you already have in your every day life?

  • If you are a manager how can you use your coaching knowledge and skills to benefit your team?
  • If you are a sales person, how can you use your coaching knowledge and skills to benefit your sales figures?
  •  Perhaps you may even be able to use your knowledge and skills in your personal life, to assist you as a parent or as a partner.

Personally, I think it is such a shame and complete waste when individuals have knowledge and skills that won’t start using because there is still more to know. I invite you to consider how you can be using your knowledge and skills to be making a difference now.

I also am going to end today’s post with one of my favourite quotes:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate,

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It’s our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves: who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

 You are a child of the universe.

Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.

There is nothing enlightening about shrinking,

So that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We are born to make manifest the glory of the universe

that is within us. It’s not just in some of us: it is in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,

We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

And as we are liberated from our own fear,

Our presence automatically liberates others.”

(Marianne Williamson)

 

How is your coaching practice?

 in Coaching  tagged business coach / business coaching / career coaching / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching business / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching practice / coaching qualifications / coaching session / coaching skills / coaching techniques / executive coach / Free resource / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / performance coaching / personal development / practice / resource

Have you ever wondered about the choice of language that many coaches use? One of the ones I particularly like is the choice that many coaches (along with other practitioners) choose to use – having a coaching practice.

This is not going to be a post about how not thinking of a coaching practice as a business can impact upon your business success. For now, I’ll let you consider those implications for yourself. (or you can read some previous posts such as this guest post by Nicky Kriel)

This is going to be a piece about that word practice. A dictionary definition gives more than one meaning for the word including “the professional work, business or place of business of a doctor, lawyer etc.”

I personally think that the one of the aspects that contributes to a professional work or business is being successful in using specific skills.

Looking at the origins and historical use of the word, in the early 15th century the word practice was used as meaning “to perform repeatedly to acquire skill.” It’s this part of a definition that I want to focus upon today.

I speak to many coaches who are at the start of their journey as a coach, some have had more training than others and all are passionate about coaching. Yet some have had more practice than others.

Some may place the “blame” for lack of practice on the structure of training courses or perhaps because of some sort of character flaw such as procrastination. Personally, I don’t think placing the blame is overly useful for the individual in that situation. I’m far more interested in finding a solution that will get that individual coaching more.

The same applies if you have “taken a break” for a while – perhaps you did lots of coaching whilst doing a course but then haven’t done any for a while. Maybe you have got further with your coaching and then you prioritised something else either by choice or necessity.

If you do find yourself in that situation rather than asking why, how about considering the following questions?

What would have to happen so I can practice my coaching more?

What is the very first thing that I could do?

The answers to those questions will very easily vary from person to person:

  • Perhaps it is as simple as identifying just one person who you think your services could assist – and then invite them to come and play.
  • Maybe for you it’s about putting a support system in place.
  • Or just spending some time to “script” out how you could actually invite someone to experience your coaching.
  • Possibly, it’s practicing inviting someone to experience your coaching that will allow you to practice your coaching more!

Sometimes what is actually stopping a coach from practicing more is the question of “When to start charging?” I’ve shared in a previous post various different approaches to this question and invited you to see which appealed to you.

Whatever you find your answers to those questions are, I invite you to consider taking action to make a difference for your coaching practice and for your clients, both present ones and your clients in the future.

How do you choose what coaching homework to set a client? 2

 in Coaching  tagged business coach / business coaching / career coaching / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching session / coaching skills / coaching techniques / executive coach / Free resource / homework / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / performance coaching / personal development / resource

A question I see and hear from time to time is a variation of the question – how do you know what homework to set your clients?

For the ease of consistency I am going to use the label homework through this piece but will also add that for some clients and niches such a label will potentially provoke resistance and negative connotations. In such an instance you could work on that negative reaction – or just use a different label and avoid the issue all together!

As far as I can establish there are three different ways of working with clients and setting homework.

There are some coaches who follow the same process for each and every single one of their clients. They work on a principle that if it is session 2 then their client gets set homework B.

Another way of working is to look at where each individual client is, what they are working on, and set a bespoke piece of homework just for that individual.

A third way is a mix of the above, having certain pieces of homework that each and every client will be set and others that you will create that is bespoke for them.

I’m sure that if you were to think about each approach you could see positive and negative points for each. You may already be aware of points from a marketing perspective, others from a customer service viewpoint etc. As always, my own personal opinion, is that if whichever approach that you are using works for you and your clients than that is great!

But regardless of which approach you are using how do you create a piece of homework? Here are just some of the questions you may want to consider:

  • What is currently getting in the way of this client getting what they want?
  • What outcome do you want by setting this homework? How will you know that outcome has been achieved?
  • What would move your client a step closer to what they want?
  • What’s going to make the biggest difference for your client?
  • What’s the easiest way for that outcome to be achieved?
  • What’s the most fun way to work towards that outcome?
  • What is going to appeal most to your client?
  • How willing is your client to do suggested homework?

I invite you to pay attention to the questions you consider next time you set a client homework. Feel free to share more questions and comment below…

Best locations for coaching

 in Coaching  tagged business coach / business coaching / career coaching / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching preparation / coaching qualifications / coaching session / coaching skills / coaching techniques / executive coach / face-to-face / Free resource / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / location / otcome / overhead / performance coaching / personal development / phone / preparation / preparation for a coaching session / purpose / resource / travel

I’ve mentioned before that many things can influence the content of each post, including requests from you either via the contact form or when signing up to get the free “What to put in your coaching welcome pack” e-course. Today’s post is in response to a request about information about the best locations for coaching.

As this is all the information the individual gave I will be writing generally for reasons that I will explain in a moment. If you are the person who made this request and we need to go more detailed to be of assistance to you by all means get in touch with more details.

I’m going to start by saying that, for me, the best locations are the ones that work for you and your clients.

There are several variables that can influence where you choose to hold a coaching conversation and session. These are some of the questions I consider when choosing where to hold a coaching session.

What medium are you planning on using for your coaching?

A coaching session via the phone can have different practical requirements to a face-to-face coaching session. To start with to coach via the phone you physically need to be able to make a call. This will mean either a landline or ensuring that you have a strong enough mobile signal.

Who are you coaching? and What state do you want your client to be in?

Some clients will feel more relaxed in different settings so it’s possible that the location you pick can influence the work that you do together.

For example, some clients may prefer a setting of a corporate office meeting room. Others may find that environment intimidating to meet in. Some may prefer a room in an educational setting – others may have negative connections to such a setting.

What is the purpose of your coaching? What outcome does your client want to get from your coaching work together?

This may place practical implications about where you want your coaching to happen.

For example, imagine that you are in a business setting coaching call centre agents concerning performance skills. It could be beneficial to have a coaching conversation “on the floor” about how the last call had gone. This has the benefit of the call being fresh in the agents mind and memory. It also allows for any action agreed upon to be immediately put into action.

Perhaps you suspect that physically having that coaching conversation in a different setting will make a difference. A client may be more relaxed/less distracted in a neutral setting giving them the space to see things from a new perspective.

This may be in a public setting, your own/independent office or perhaps even in an outside location.

What are your preferences as a coach?

Where will assist you to fully focus on your client without distractions and allow you to be in the most useful state for your coaching?

What other practical aspects/implications are there?

I know that overhead costs can affect coaches decisions about where they coach. Not only with potential room hire/lease but other costs such as travelling can also influence either your pricing or where you coach.

Coaching from your own home. I’m certainly no regulatory and legal expert, especially as that will vary depending upon which country you are living in. Do be aware that there may be certain clauses in renting agreements, building and content insurance policies etc that apply if you have clients physically coming into your own home. Do check out how you will be affected and seek appropriate advice if needed.

Geography How much travel are you (and/or potentially your client) prepared to do?

Time This may also influence your decision. Is the location you are thinking off available when you want to coach? If there is travelling involved to the venue does it fit with your other commitments and if not are you willing to make it a priority?

A word of warning

I’ll also add that I’ve spoken to many want-to-be/trainee coaches who are not yet coaching giving the reason that they have nowhere to coach. I know that this can seem a big first step.

Please don’t let this get in your way of starting coaching. Personally I have had coaching conversations either as a client or a coach in coffee shops, hotel bars/reception, train stations, impromptu coaching conversations in stairwells etc.

As part of a big long-term picture – yes a location may play a part in making an impression, potentially make a coaching session easier and if you are running a coaching business could have overhead implications.

However, when starting out I personally think that not having a room can be used as a practical excuse for not starting just yet but appearing busy. In my opinion, one of the best ways to develop your coaching is by actually coaching real people.

 

 

How fast can change happen for your coaching clients?

 in Coaching  tagged business coach / business coaching / career coaching / change / client / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching session / coaching skills / coaching techniques / executive coach / Free resource / instance / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / performance coaching / personal development / resource

One of the things I often tell someone before I have a coaching session with them is that I believe that change can happen in an instance. This is particularly true if we have not worked together before.

One of the reasons I tell them that is because often they have completed some form of preparation questions prior to our conversation. I go on to explain that if I ask a similar questions it’s not because I don’t believe or haven’t read their answer, it’s because I don’t want to presume that they are in the same place now as they were when they first answered.

If I do ask a similar question I want their attention to be on the question that I asked and their answer at that moment – I do not want them being distracted by any thoughts such as “What does it mean that I’ve already answered that question?” or “Did I not get it right the first time?”

It’s interesting to see/hear people’s reactions when I tell them I have that belief about change. Some obviously believe that change can happen instantly and others are more sceptical. They perhaps believe that in general but in their particular instance they think change must be difficult.

Does change always happen in an instance? No, an obvious example is that whilst some people do win the lottery the most common approach to increasing your figure in a bank account is over time through different actions.

Notice that I don’t say always the wording I use is change can happen in an instance.

Particularly when it comes to a change in perception about something that just takes a new thought – A way of seeing something from a new angle, or hearing it in a new way. And that really can happen in an instance.

Often when it is fear that is getting in our way a change in perception can make a huge difference.

For example, imagine that you are alone in a dark room and are apprehensive because you can see an unknown persons shadow in the corner of the room. Only when you switch the light on and you find out what you thought was a person is just a long coat hung up.

I started this post by giving one of the reasons I share my belief about how change can happen in an instance, particularly if we haven’t yet worked together much. The one I mention is actually not the only main reason that I often include that comment. I invite you to consider other benefits of including such a statement for yourself 😉

Coaching resources 1

 in Coaching  tagged business coach / business coaching / career coaching / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / confidence / desire / esteem / executive coach / external / Free resource / internal / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / opportunities / performance coaching / personal development / resource

You may find that as a coach that you refer to the term resources. Today’s post is going to discuss resources in more detail.

Starting with, what is a resource?

Looking up a dictionary definition gives:

Resource noun 1. something to which one can turn for help or support or to achieve one’s purpose.

2. a means of relaxation or amusement

3. ingenuity, quick wit

4. (resources) available assets; we pooled our resources

5. (resources) a source of wealth to a country; natural resources such as minerals

For anyone interested in the historical origins of the word resource, “means of supplying a want or deficiency” can be traced back to 1610’s from a Latin word meaning “rise again.” However, it wasn’t until 1779 that it was first recorded to mean a country’s wealth.

As a coach I often find that when I talk with a client about resources their answers can fall into one of two different categories. You can see it hinted at within the dictionary definition.

One category is Internal resources, those aspects that the client has within themselves to support them to achieve their purpose. The other one being external resources, the external support that relates to the “outside world”.

If a client is stuck than the solution can easily be an internal or external resource depending upon the situation. However, there are some resources that as a coach I may explore in more depth early on.

There are many Internal resources, beliefs, attitudes, emotional states etc that we, as humans, build upon. One of the first internal resources I often check for is desire. It’s one of those resources that when missing is really noticeable.

If you haven’t noticed this for yourself already, I invite you to consider for yourself your own previous experiences and maybe even observe it’s impact in future coaching conversations.

External support can take many different forms family, friends, colleagues, time, space, money, are all examples of external resources.

Often questioning can revel opportunities that have been missed or underused – and just imagine what discovering those resources can mean to the progress that can be made.

As you’ve read this you may already have noticed that internal and external categories can sometimes, at least in the clients mind, affect each other. For example, a client may have a belief (an internal resource) about an external support.

I mention the distinction between the two categories not because I think that they should be separate. I offer this purely as yet another resource for you to “rise again” (to use it’s origins) when you need to use it to assist your clients to achieve their purpose.

 

 

Are you a coach that cares? 2

 in Coaching  tagged Abraham Maslow / business coach / business coaching / career coaching / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching preparation / coaching prepartaion form / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / confidence / esteem / executive coach / Free resource / hierarchy of needs / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / love and belonging / performance coaching / personal development / physiological / preparation / safety / Self care / self-actualisation

In a previous coaching post I’ve talked about what a coach can do to prepare for a coaching session. Each coach will develop their own answers and preparation for a coaching session.

As I shared in that previous post I look to answer the following before a coaching session “What can I do to ensure that I show up brilliantly?”

I know that doing “my job” as a coach to the best of my abilities and showing up brilliantly is much easier when I have taken care of myself. Today’s coaching post discusses self-care. As you read I invite you to consider how this works with your approach to coaching.

Let’s start by discussing what I mean by self-care. I once did a web search on the term self care and came across the following:

“Self care skills are the needs to manage day to day life. They include washing, dressing, cooking and housekeeping.”

Admittedly this was in reference to caring for someone else, and those things do all fall under self-care, and in this instance I am talking about much more than physiological need.

You may have seen Maslow’s hierarchy of needs usually represented as a pyramid, with the largest and lowest level of needs forming the foundations for the others to build upon. This theory of needs was proposed by psychologist Abraham Maslow in the 1940′s and 50′s.

There is debate about the order that the levels are placed in, or even if there is a hierarchy at all. Rather than get involved in that discussion, I’m going to use it as a catalyst for thought. I’ll invite you to glance at the following synopsis and consider the emotional, physical and even spiritual effects and benefits that taking care of your needs for each category would have.

Physiological – What we, as humans, literally require to survive as a species. Needs that are seen to fall in this category include food, breathing, sleep and sexual activity.

Safety – In today’s society this does not only mean physical safety but can also include employment/financial security, health and security of property etc.

Love and Belonging – This category of “needs” covers aspects of feelings of belonging and building relationships, such as friendship, family and romantic.

Esteem – This heading covers needs such as self-esteem, confidence and respect – both of and by others.

Self-Actualisation – This, Maslow theorised, is the top of the pyramid, and is the section that covers what a persons potential is and fulfilling that potential. Dr Wayne Dyer describes it as:

i) To be free of the good opinion of others,

ii) To do things not simply for the outcome but because it’s the reason you are here on earth.

I include these not because I necessarily agree with every single aspect of Maslow’s theory myself, but to encourage a broader look at the things that when you take care to include in your daily routine you feel more alive and generally have a better day.

I’ll let you decide for yourself if taking care of yourself is something that would benefit your coaching.

If you want to play further with this:

What are the things that when you do them, you have a better day?

What are the things that when you do them you feel more alive and are more productive?

What would the difference be if you deliberately and consciously chose to incorporate more of these into your day?

How do you help a client set a goal for the coaching session? 2

 in Coaching  tagged business coach / business coaching / career coaching / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching model / coaching preparation / coaching prepartaion form / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / confidence / executive coach / expectations / Free resource / goal / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / performance coaching / personal development / preparation / question / session goal

One of the reoccurring questions that I see and hear from those who are beginning to develop their coaching skills is based on the problem of struggling to pin-point a goal for a coaching session.

A common response from more experience coaches can be a variation of “Yes, that’s something I remember experiencing and it’s something that gets easier with practice”. Whilst I agree, it is something that gets easier when you practice, let me also give some pointers for that practice 🙂

Firstly, what expectations does your client have about what happens in a coaching session? If you want them to set the direction of the coaching how did you explain that when you both agreed to work together?

If you find that it is a common theme that all your clients struggle to pin point a goal for the session, you may want to consider what you can do differently during your initial conversation with a potential client? Is there something you can say or do that will increase the chance of a goal being established quickly?

You may also use questions to establish the expectations that your client has before you start coaching either in your initial conversation or if you include questions in your welcome pack.

The wording of these questions can be tailored to best suit your clients but an example could be “How would they know it’s been a great coaching session?” Presumably they would be happy if each session with you is a great coaching session. Having formed an answer to this question it will aid them to set each session goal in-line with these expectations in the future.

If you know what their answer is, it also allows you to discuss their expectations in more detail with them if appropriate.

Many coaches ask their clients to complete a coaching preparation form prior to the actual session. The format and actual questions on a preparation form can vary from coach to coach.

One aspect that a coaching preparation form can have is to ask a question that allows your client to already come prepared with a session “goal.” Already having this established ahead of the session allows you to spend the time focusing upon that goal.

These are just some thoughts about the things that you can add into your practice to assist you in setting a goal for your coaching session. What other methods and approaches can you suggest?