confidence

Inspire Confidence through Simplicity 2

 in Guest Post  tagged alienation / attribute / business coach / business coaching / charging / client / clients / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / confidence / credibility / empathise / executive coach / finance for non-finance / goal / insecurity / jargon / Jonathan Lamptey / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / nlp coach / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / problems / simplicity / solutions

In this weeks guest post, Jonathan Lamptey shares his expertise about how coaches can inspire confidence.

Inspire Confidence through Simplicity

by Jonathan Lamptey

As a reader of this blog, you will agree that forward thinking Coaches provide a holistic approach to their clients, considering the circumstances of the individual in order to correctly address the client in the appropriate context.

As Coaches we provide solutions for the problems, wants and desires of our clients, using our expertise to successfully navigate our clients through a period of personal development in order to arrive at their goal. As experts, we have in depth knowledge and expertise of a particular area; this is often accompanied by a glossary of technically specific language. Too frequently, Coaches hide behind jargon as a means of demonstrating their credibility to an audience that is unfamiliar with the terms being used.

One of the key skills in being a Coach is the ability to make the difficult look simple and the challenging look effortless. This comes from years of practice and experience which to a spectator may look like child’s play. Consider a concert pianist, a skilled craftsman, a trained athlete, their abilities seem effortless. The same can be said of their Coach.

This is an attribute that I have observed in all the great Coaches that I have had the privilege to work with. They don’t hide behind acronyms; they use simple language to deliver their message effectively. The skill lies in reassuring the client not how difficult the task is, but to explain how easy it is going to be now that they have the support of a passionate, enthusiastic and talented Coach.

The excessive use of technical language damages the client relationship in a couple of ways:

Alienation:

The Coach creates an additional barrier between the client and their desired outcome. The client already knows that they need assistance because they have hired a Coach. This may reinforce existing anxieties and undermine their confidence. This does not help the client.

Insecurity:

This behaviour often reveals a desire to convince the client that as Coaches we possess the skills that we claim we have by highlighting to the client what they do not know. This is not the behaviour of a confident and competent Coach.

Here are some tips to help you to keep things simple for your clients:

Empathise:

The client may be anxious and as such is looking for inspiration and guidance; try to understand how they are feeling and use this to inform the tone of the dialogue.

Avoid jargon:

Use basic principles as a starting point for any explanation of complex terms, this will reduce potential misunderstandings and instil confidence. Think of some of the technical words you use, can they be adequately replaced with plain English? If so, use everyday language until the client’s knowledge increases.

Place their needs first: Consider what they want to achieve and help them to achieve this to the best of your ability, our role must also be to reassure and guide, this can be achieved by explaining things simply.

A true teacher works towards their own redundancy and to some extent this is applicable here. Use simplicity to allow you to demonstrate your expertise and this will set you on the path to being a great Coach.

About the author

Jonathan is a chartered accountant, consultant and financial skills trainer with 15 years of operational experience with companies including The Walt Disney Company, Channel 4, Sky and the Telegraph.

His experience of working in dynamic organisations has created interesting opportunities to develop resourceful methods for presenting financial information to different audiences with varying requirements; from Board Directors to new starters.

Jonathan seeks to demystify Finance and Accounting in order to help people move beyond the numbers and increase their productivity. This has inspired an interest in academic research. Jonathan’s research interests include social entrepreneurship and workplace diversity and he is currently conducting research as part of a PhD at the London School of Economics.

His distinctive background allows him to combine rigorous academic research with commercial experience to provide a unique and refreshing approach to business problems.

Visit Jonathan’s comapny Finance for Non Finance Managers online at www.financefornonfinance.co.uk

 

Less is more

 in Guest Post  tagged anchoring / business coach / business coaching / charging / circle of excellence / client / clients / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / confidence / executive coach / healing / intuition / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / listen / Nigel Heath / nlp coach / perceptual positions / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / problems / relationship coach / Richard Bach / Richard Bandler / solutions / swish / techniques / The relationship people / tools

In this week’s guest post experienced coach and NLPer Nigel Heath shares his advice about coaching.

Less is more

By Nigel Heath

I was at a meeting of NLPers one day, long ago, discussing the tools & techniques, when one of the group asked for ‘advice’ with a specific client. The group member told us a bit about the issue and then proceeded to tell us what she had ‘done’ to help the client fix their problem.

“I started with a ‘swish pattern’” she said, “and then I used a ‘circle of excellence’ to build some extra resources.” “I tested to see if the issue was still there, it was, so I used ‘perceptual positions’ and threw in some ‘anchoring’ to help with reinforcing the resources discovered earlier.” “This still hadn’t shifted the original problem.” She then told us of three other things she had tried without success before finally giving up and making another appointment. She asked us “What do you think I should do next?” (Answers on a postcard please to Jen!)

I too remember the heady excitement of discovering I now had the power to heal the world with my new NLP and coaching skills – even if particular individuals, who were clearly in need of healing, resisted my attempts to fix them. Fortunately for me, and everyone else, this phase soon passed.

I began to incorporate my new skills into my existing ones as a physical therapist. As people relaxed under my hands and felt able to express what was really bothering them so I was able to guide them to their own solutions. Increasingly my clients came to me for these skills rather than my physical therapy and I relaxed into knowing they brought their own solutions wrapped in their problems. My job was to listen, ask a few questions and wait for the ‘solution’ to present itself. Their solution, which I reflected back to them. Because it was their solution there was no resistance to it and they would often exclaim “Yes! That’s it!” I think it was Richard Bandler who said “The art of therapy is 99% listening and 1% intervention.”

I now work with my wife, Jenny, as specialist Relationship Coaches. We use NLP, Clean Language and many other assorted skills we have acquired over the years. We have available many resource sheets and exercise plans to give to our clients. Always we hold in our minds “Less is More”. We coach couples and coach together. We see them for two hours minimum but increasingly we see them for one day or two days together. We know that in the ‘dance’ of their unique relationship are the weeds of their problem and the seeds of their own solutions.

I was powerfully influenced by Richard Bach, discoverer of Bach flower remedies, who spent many years ‘unlearning’ the dogmatic approach taught to him in medical school and learning to listen and intuit what his clients really needed to solve their own issues.

As coaches we hold a ‘space’ for our clients, where it is safe for them to confront issues they prefer to ignore. We remind ourselves to:

  • remain relaxed and just know they will show us or tell us the solution they need
  • resist the urge to give them ‘solution No 42’, which works in nearly every case!
  • rely on the skills learnt, and as a coach, the innate skills that drew us to this profession in the first place
  • allow our skills to be in the background, supporting us as coaches, providing a loose structure to the session and giving us confidence.

My message to any new coach is “Only use just enough to get the job done. Please don’t ‘try out’ every technique you know on every client. They will leave more screwed up than when they arrived. Trust your intuition and your experience to help your clients have a positive experience with you they will either want to repeat, or recommend to their friends.”

About the Author/Further Resources

Nigel Heath works with his wife Jenny as The Relationship People. They coach together and have trained other coaches to do the same. They are both Master Practitioners of NLP, Clean Language Facilitators and Life Coaches.

They work from their home on the northern edge of the New Forest, on the Hampshire / Wiltshire border.

They have written their first book, “Let’s Talk Love” a one message book based on just one of the exercises they give their couples to do when they are looking to repair or enhance their relationship. It’s available on Amazon and other online bookstores. Their second book “How to have a better argument” is in progress and should be out in 2012.

For 13 years they ran the successful NLP practice group NLP-South, which still meets once a month in Eastleigh near Southampton. Www.nlp-south.org.uk

Visit their web site at www.therelationshipeople.co.uk

read their blog http://relationshipeople.blogspot.com/

follow them on Twitter http://twitter.com/#!/relationspeople

find us on LinkedIn http://www.linkedin.com/company/the-relationship-people

like us on facebook https://www.facebook.com/#!/LetsTalkLove

or contact Nigel direct ni***@*********************co.uk

Coaching resources 1

 in Coaching  tagged business coach / business coaching / career coaching / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / confidence / desire / esteem / executive coach / external / Free resource / internal / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / opportunities / performance coaching / personal development / resource

You may find that as a coach that you refer to the term resources. Today’s post is going to discuss resources in more detail.

Starting with, what is a resource?

Looking up a dictionary definition gives:

Resource noun 1. something to which one can turn for help or support or to achieve one’s purpose.

2. a means of relaxation or amusement

3. ingenuity, quick wit

4. (resources) available assets; we pooled our resources

5. (resources) a source of wealth to a country; natural resources such as minerals

For anyone interested in the historical origins of the word resource, “means of supplying a want or deficiency” can be traced back to 1610’s from a Latin word meaning “rise again.” However, it wasn’t until 1779 that it was first recorded to mean a country’s wealth.

As a coach I often find that when I talk with a client about resources their answers can fall into one of two different categories. You can see it hinted at within the dictionary definition.

One category is Internal resources, those aspects that the client has within themselves to support them to achieve their purpose. The other one being external resources, the external support that relates to the “outside world”.

If a client is stuck than the solution can easily be an internal or external resource depending upon the situation. However, there are some resources that as a coach I may explore in more depth early on.

There are many Internal resources, beliefs, attitudes, emotional states etc that we, as humans, build upon. One of the first internal resources I often check for is desire. It’s one of those resources that when missing is really noticeable.

If you haven’t noticed this for yourself already, I invite you to consider for yourself your own previous experiences and maybe even observe it’s impact in future coaching conversations.

External support can take many different forms family, friends, colleagues, time, space, money, are all examples of external resources.

Often questioning can revel opportunities that have been missed or underused – and just imagine what discovering those resources can mean to the progress that can be made.

As you’ve read this you may already have noticed that internal and external categories can sometimes, at least in the clients mind, affect each other. For example, a client may have a belief (an internal resource) about an external support.

I mention the distinction between the two categories not because I think that they should be separate. I offer this purely as yet another resource for you to “rise again” (to use it’s origins) when you need to use it to assist your clients to achieve their purpose.

 

 

Are you a coach that cares? 2

 in Coaching  tagged Abraham Maslow / business coach / business coaching / career coaching / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching preparation / coaching prepartaion form / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / confidence / esteem / executive coach / Free resource / hierarchy of needs / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / love and belonging / performance coaching / personal development / physiological / preparation / safety / Self care / self-actualisation

In a previous coaching post I’ve talked about what a coach can do to prepare for a coaching session. Each coach will develop their own answers and preparation for a coaching session.

As I shared in that previous post I look to answer the following before a coaching session “What can I do to ensure that I show up brilliantly?”

I know that doing “my job” as a coach to the best of my abilities and showing up brilliantly is much easier when I have taken care of myself. Today’s coaching post discusses self-care. As you read I invite you to consider how this works with your approach to coaching.

Let’s start by discussing what I mean by self-care. I once did a web search on the term self care and came across the following:

“Self care skills are the needs to manage day to day life. They include washing, dressing, cooking and housekeeping.”

Admittedly this was in reference to caring for someone else, and those things do all fall under self-care, and in this instance I am talking about much more than physiological need.

You may have seen Maslow’s hierarchy of needs usually represented as a pyramid, with the largest and lowest level of needs forming the foundations for the others to build upon. This theory of needs was proposed by psychologist Abraham Maslow in the 1940′s and 50′s.

There is debate about the order that the levels are placed in, or even if there is a hierarchy at all. Rather than get involved in that discussion, I’m going to use it as a catalyst for thought. I’ll invite you to glance at the following synopsis and consider the emotional, physical and even spiritual effects and benefits that taking care of your needs for each category would have.

Physiological – What we, as humans, literally require to survive as a species. Needs that are seen to fall in this category include food, breathing, sleep and sexual activity.

Safety – In today’s society this does not only mean physical safety but can also include employment/financial security, health and security of property etc.

Love and Belonging – This category of “needs” covers aspects of feelings of belonging and building relationships, such as friendship, family and romantic.

Esteem – This heading covers needs such as self-esteem, confidence and respect – both of and by others.

Self-Actualisation – This, Maslow theorised, is the top of the pyramid, and is the section that covers what a persons potential is and fulfilling that potential. Dr Wayne Dyer describes it as:

i) To be free of the good opinion of others,

ii) To do things not simply for the outcome but because it’s the reason you are here on earth.

I include these not because I necessarily agree with every single aspect of Maslow’s theory myself, but to encourage a broader look at the things that when you take care to include in your daily routine you feel more alive and generally have a better day.

I’ll let you decide for yourself if taking care of yourself is something that would benefit your coaching.

If you want to play further with this:

What are the things that when you do them, you have a better day?

What are the things that when you do them you feel more alive and are more productive?

What would the difference be if you deliberately and consciously chose to incorporate more of these into your day?

How do you help a client set a goal for the coaching session? 2

 in Coaching  tagged business coach / business coaching / career coaching / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching model / coaching preparation / coaching prepartaion form / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / confidence / executive coach / expectations / Free resource / goal / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / performance coaching / personal development / preparation / question / session goal

One of the reoccurring questions that I see and hear from those who are beginning to develop their coaching skills is based on the problem of struggling to pin-point a goal for a coaching session.

A common response from more experience coaches can be a variation of “Yes, that’s something I remember experiencing and it’s something that gets easier with practice”. Whilst I agree, it is something that gets easier when you practice, let me also give some pointers for that practice 🙂

Firstly, what expectations does your client have about what happens in a coaching session? If you want them to set the direction of the coaching how did you explain that when you both agreed to work together?

If you find that it is a common theme that all your clients struggle to pin point a goal for the session, you may want to consider what you can do differently during your initial conversation with a potential client? Is there something you can say or do that will increase the chance of a goal being established quickly?

You may also use questions to establish the expectations that your client has before you start coaching either in your initial conversation or if you include questions in your welcome pack.

The wording of these questions can be tailored to best suit your clients but an example could be “How would they know it’s been a great coaching session?” Presumably they would be happy if each session with you is a great coaching session. Having formed an answer to this question it will aid them to set each session goal in-line with these expectations in the future.

If you know what their answer is, it also allows you to discuss their expectations in more detail with them if appropriate.

Many coaches ask their clients to complete a coaching preparation form prior to the actual session. The format and actual questions on a preparation form can vary from coach to coach.

One aspect that a coaching preparation form can have is to ask a question that allows your client to already come prepared with a session “goal.” Already having this established ahead of the session allows you to spend the time focusing upon that goal.

These are just some thoughts about the things that you can add into your practice to assist you in setting a goal for your coaching session. What other methods and approaches can you suggest?