coaches


Temptation or Intuition? Guiding Clients to Discern the Difference

A close-up shot of a shiny, red apple, perhaps partially obscured by a leaf.
The apple is positioned against a dark, mysterious background to create a sense of intrigue with dramatic lighting.
The text reads "All temptations are founded either in Hope or Fear." (Thomas Fuller)

The quote of the day is:

“All Temptations Are Founded Either in Hope or Fear” (Thomas Fuller)

Thomas Fuller (1608–1661) was an English historian and clergyman known for his wit and wisdom. His writings often reflect deep insights into human nature, making this quote particularly relevant for coaching conversations.

Temptation is a compelling force, often urging action before we’ve had time to reflect. Thomas Fuller’s observation highlights how hope and fear shape our decisions. As coaches, we frequently encounter clients caught between these forces—unsure whether their next move is a genuine step forward or a reaction driven by fear. How can we help them distinguish between an intuitive nudge and a fear-fuelled temptation?

Recognizing the Voice of Intuition

Intuition often feels like a calm, quiet sense of knowing. It doesn’t demand action, but gently encourages it. In contrast, fear-driven temptation tends to feel urgent and overwhelming, pushing clients toward decisions misaligned with their deeper values. Coaches can help clients pause and explore their inner dialogue.

Key Questions to Ask:

  • How does this decision feel in your body? Calm or tense?
  • If fear wasn’t a factor, would you still choose this path?
  • What would happen if you waited a little longer before acting?

These questions help clients differentiate between impulsive reactions and thoughtful, intuitive responses.

The Role of Hope

Hope is a powerful motivator but can sometimes be mistaken for wishful thinking. When driven by hope, clients often feel expansive and motivated. Yet hope can also lead to temptations that aim to escape discomfort rather than pursue meaningful growth.

Exploring Hope with Clients:

  • What future are you envisioning? Does it align with who you’re becoming?
  • Are you pursuing this path because it excites you or feels like the only option?
  • How does this hope connect to what you would love?

When grounded in purpose, hope can inspire courageous action. When fuelled by avoiding pain, it may divert clients from what truly matters.

The Fear Trap

Fear often disguises itself as practicality or necessity, insisting that clients “must” act now to avoid loss. Recognising this pattern is crucial for breaking free from fear-driven decisions.

Strategies to Uncover Fear:

  • Encourage clients to name their fears. What’s the worst that could happen?
  • Consider the long-term impact. Will this choice still matter in a year?
  • Explore alternative perspectives. Could fear be clouding judgment?

When clients acknowledge their fearful thinking, they often find clarity and courage on the other side.

Intuition as a Guide

A common outcome I see in coaching is clients learning to recognise and trust their inner wisdom. Intuition is a gift available to all of us. By distinguishing between hope, fear, and intuition, clients make choices with greater confidence and authenticity.

Final Reflection

Temptation often disguises itself as urgency, practicality, or even hope, making it difficult to discern from genuine intuition. Helping clients navigate this distinction can be transformative. By guiding them to pause, reflect, and listen to their inner wisdom, we empower them to make choices rooted in clarity and authenticity.

How do you guide clients to distinguish between intuitive nudges and fear-driven temptations? Is this distinction relevant in your coaching practice? I believe this question can spark rich conversations, helping clients tune into their deeper knowing, you guide them beyond the pull of hope or fear and toward their true path.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is a transformative coach dedicated to empowering individuals to get out of their own way and make a meaningful impact in the world.

If this post has intrigued you or sparked questions about distinguishing between fear, hope, and intuition in your decisions, Jen offers a supportive space to explore these insights further. Connect with her to discover how transformative coaching can guide you toward clarity, confidence, and empowered choices

Discover how Jen can support you to get out of your own way here.


Noticing The Quiet And Silence With a Scale of Self Compassion – Coaching From the Soul

Coaching From The Soul: A Glimpse into Self Compassion

Here’s a short clip from our Coaching From The Soul live stream on November 6th. Every 3-4 weeks, I join some of my coaching colleagues for an open, insightful conversation exploring what it means to be human.

In this session, we began by discussing self-compassion and reflecting on where we each place ourselves on a self-compassion scale. This clip offers a glimpse into that part of the discussion.

How to Watch More Coaching From The Soul

If you’re curious to see where this conversation led, you can watch the full live stream here.

We’d love for you to join us for our next live call!
📅 When: Wednesday, 18th December
Time: 6:15 PM UK Time

Tune in to see what fresh insights and topics come up this month.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is a transformative coach dedicated to empowering individuals to get out of their own way and make a meaningful impact in the world. With an impactful, nurturing coaching style, Jen supports clients in unlocking their potential and achieving their goals. As an experienced coach and trainer, she guides clients from self-doubt to success.

Discover how Jen can support you to get out of your own way here.


What If You Didn’t Have to Be Perfect?

A beautiful thing is never perfect. 600 x 400

The quote of the day is actually a proverb:

“A beautiful thing is never perfect.” (Egyptian Proverb)

Isn’t it funny what we can do to ourselves with busy thinking? Sometimes, our minds create an endless loop of judgment, striving, and assumptions about how things should be. And often, perfectionism is at the heart of it.

Perfectionism, to me, seems like a lot of thinking. It’s fuelled by the assumption that things could always be better than they are right now. While the idea of improvement isn’t inherently bad, perfectionism often carries a sense of “not enough”—a constant inner critic pointing out what’s wrong or incomplete.

But what if we didn’t have to carry the heavy weight of assumptions about how things should be? What if we’re not inherently broken? What if, ironically, we’re already perfect just the way we are? Not perfect in the sense of flawlessness, but perfect in our wholeness, our humanity, and our capacity for growth.

Does this mean striving for improvement is wrong? Not at all. There’s a world of difference between moving forward with curiosity and intention versus mentally beating yourself up with judgment and self-criticism.

When I reflect on the Egyptian proverb, A beautiful thing is never perfect, I’m reminded of the richness in imperfection. The cracks, quirks, and so-called flaws often hold the most meaning. They make something real, alive, and uniquely ours.

What would it be like to live from that perspective? To see yourself as whole and complete right now, even as you continue to grow and evolve? What if, instead of striving for perfection, you simply allowed yourself to be?

How would your life change if you really didn’t have to be perfect? How would your relationships shift, your work, or your sense of well-being? What could that look like?

And if you’re a coach, what impact would really seeing this have for you and your clients? Imagine what could open up for someone if they stopped chasing an impossible standard and instead embraced the idea that they’re enough exactly as they are.

Perhaps the greatest irony of all is that in letting go of the relentless pursuit of perfection, we might discover we’ve been enough all along. Perfection was never required to create beauty, connection, or joy.

So, what if perfection wasn’t the goal, but rather an invitation to see the beauty that’s already here—within us and around us? What if, instead of focusing on fixing ourselves, we noticed what’s already whole?

Maybe, just maybe, we’re already more than we thought we needed to be.

If all this feels like a step too far for you right now, I invite you to play with taking a more compassionate perspective toward yourself and seeing where that leads. And remember—you don’t have to be perfect at letting go of perfectionist thinking either. It’s simply nice to know that you don’t have to hold on to those thoughts to still be whole underneath.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is a transformative coach dedicated to empowering individuals to get out of their own way and make a meaningful impact in the world. With an impactful, nurturing coaching style, Jen supports clients in unlocking their potential and achieving their goals. As an experienced coach and trainer, she guides clients from self-doubt to success.

Discover how Jen can support you to get out of your own way here.

If today’s reflections on perfectionism resonated with you, reach out to explore how coaching can create space for new insights and possibilities.


Simplicity: Discovering the Real Meaning of Things

The image features a background of soft yellow and light green tones, evoking the feeling of a sunny autumn day. On the left, a thin branch extends, holding several leaves in various autumn shades of orange, yellow, and green. The quote by Constantin Brâncuși is displayed in black text on the right:"Simplicity is not a goal, but one arrives at simplicity in spite of oneself, as one approaches the real meaning of things."

The quote of the day is:

“Simplicity is not a goal, but one arrives at simplicity in spite of oneself, as one approaches the real meaning of things.” (Constantin Brâncuși)

Constantin Brâncuși, one of the most influential sculptors of the 20th century, believed in stripping away the unnecessary to reveal the essence of his subjects. For me, his words point to simplicity isn’t something we chase; it’s what remains when we peel back the layers and connect with deeper truths. These truths aren’t always hidden—they’re often right in front of us. Yet, in our rush to understand and solve, we sometimes overlook them.

In coaching and personal growth, I often think of an insight as seeing something new—a fresh understanding or perspective. Sometimes, it’s subtle, like noticing a different way of responding to a familiar situation. Other times, it feels profound, as though the whole structure of my understanding has shifted. What’s consistent, though, is this: the closer I get to these deeper truths about how we function as human beings, the more I find myself saying, “Oh, it can be even simpler than I was making it.”

The Deeper Truths Beneath Complexity

Life can feel complicated, and it’s easy to assume that complexity is inherent to solving problems or making progress. But when I look more closely, I often see that complexity is something I’ve added—through layers of overthinking, analysing, or trying to control outcomes I’ve no way of actually being able to control. Beneath that complexity lies something far simpler: the deeper truths that govern how we experience life.

As I see it, one of these truths is that our thoughts create our experience of our reality. What I mean by that, is that our experience isn’t determined by circumstances themselves, but by how we interpret them. This understanding doesn’t just simplify life—it transforms it. Suddenly, I don’t have to fix everything in the outside world to feel at peace. Instead, I can look inward, look to the underlying quiet and recognise that clarity often comes when I stop wrestling with my thoughts.

The Present Moment as a Gateway

Another truth I’ve seen is that simplicity often arises when I’m present—when I’m here, in this moment, instead of lost in stories about the past or projections about the future. Being present allows me to step outside the loops of mental effort and see life as it is, without the filters of worry or judgment. In this space, the unnecessary drops away, revealing what truly matters.

And here’s the paradox: the intellect, as useful as it is, often makes things more complicated in its attempts to solve or control. But when I’m present, I’m no longer relying solely on intellect. I’m tapping into a deeper intelligence, an innate wisdom —one that works effortlessly, providing insights and solutions that feel obvious in hindsight. This is where the real meaning of things often becomes clear.

Simplicity and the Real Meaning of Things

Simplicity, then, isn’t something to be forced or achieved. It’s what emerges naturally when we align with these deeper truths. It’s the clarity that comes from understanding how our minds work and from being present with life as it unfolds. This doesn’t mean life is always easy or straightforward. Challenges and uncertainties are part of the human experience. But even in those moments, simplicity is available—not as a goal, but as a by-product of seeing life more clearly.

So today, I invite you to pause and reflect: What truths about life or yourself might already be present, waiting to be uncovered? Where might you be adding complexity that isn’t needed? And what might you see differently if you allowed yourself to step back and simply be?

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is a transformative coach dedicated to empowering individuals to get out of their own way and make a meaningful impact in the world. With an impactful, nurturing coaching style, Jen supports clients in unlocking their potential and achieving their goals. As an experienced coach and trainer, she guides clients from self-doubt to success.

Discover how Jen can support you to get out of your own way here.


Questions on Anger: Navigating Forgiveness and Trust in Coaching

The image shows a vibrant sunset or sunrise sky, transitioning from soft blue and purple hues at the top to warm orange and yellow tones near the horizon. The quote is centred in black text and reads: "He that advised thee not to let the Sun set in thine anger, did not command thee to trust a deceiving Enemy next Morning." The quote is attributed to Thomas Fuller.

The quote of the day is:

“He that advised thee not to let the Sun set in thine anger, did not command thee to trust a deceiving Enemy next Morning.” (Thomas Fuller)

Questions For Coaches:

  • How do you support clients in understanding the difference between letting go of resentment and trusting someone untrustworthy?
  • How does learning to forgive without being naïve empower you to maintain healthier relationships?
  • If it was OK to forgive yourself, what does that prompt?

Bonus Questions:

  • How do you decide when to let go of anger and when to take a stand for yourself?
  • What impact does holding onto anger have on your ability to make clear judgments about others?
  • Is there a “right” amount of time that needs to pass before you can forgive?
  • What does this quote prompt for you?

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is a transformative coach dedicated to empowering individuals to get out of their own way and make a meaningful impact in the world. With an impactful, nurturing coaching style, Jen supports clients in unlocking their potential and achieving their goals. As an experienced coach and trainer, she guides clients from self-doubt to success.

Discover how Jen can support you to get out of your own way here.


Questions on Perfection: Coaching Insights for Embracing Imperfection

The image has a textured gray concrete background with subtle lighting, giving it a rough, industrial feel. In the centre, there is white text in a simple font that reads: "Perfection is a trifle dull. It is not the least of life's ironies that this, which we all aim at, is better not quite achieved." This quote is attributed to W. Somerset Maugham.

The quote of the day is:

“Perfection is a trifle dull. It is not the least of life’s ironies that this, which we all aim at, is better not quite achieved.” (W. Somerset Maugham)

Questions For Coaches:

  • What areas of your life might improve if you allowed yourself to be less focused on being perfect?
  • What is the connection between imperfection & growth?
  • When did you hold back from asking a client a question because it wasn’t quite phrased “right”?
  • How does this quote relate to your coaching?

Bonus Questions:

  • In what ways have you noticed that striving for perfect leads to stress or dissatisfaction?
  • How do you define success, and how does that relate to your ideas of perfection?
  • What would it look like for you to embrace ‘good enough’ instead of striving for perfect?
  • How do you support clients in recognising and challenging their perfectionist tendencies?

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is a transformative coach dedicated to empowering individuals to get out of their own way and make a meaningful impact in the world. With an impactful, nurturing coaching style, Jen supports clients in unlocking their potential and achieving their goals. As an experienced coach and trainer, she guides clients from self-doubt to success.

Discover how Jen can support you to get out of your own way, even if you are a perfectionist, here.


Missed Opportunities: Some Coaching Thoughts on Shifting from Scarcity to Abundance

The image shows a serene scene at a beach with calm waters dotted with several sailboats anchored in the distance. The foreground features a sandy beach where a wooden row boat is resting, pulled slightly onto the shore. The sky is clear and blue, complementing the tranquil blue of the water. An inspirational quote overlays the image at the top, stating: "When one misses an opportunity one is apt to fancy that another will never present itself." It attributes the quote to Marie Bashkirtseff.

The quote of the day is:

“When one misses an opportunity one is apt to fancy that another will never present itself.” (Marie Bashkirtseff)

Marie Bashkirtseff, was a young artist and writer in the last half of the 1800s. Her own life was marked by missed opportunities—illness cut short her dreams of becoming a singer, forcing her to shift her focus to painting and writing, illustrating how unexpected paths can still lead to fulfilment. Bashkirtseff’s observation here resonates with a common human experience—the fear that opportunities are fleeting, and once gone, they may never return. But is that true?

How Good Are You at Predicting the Future?

The feeling that missed opportunities may never come again is often fuelled by the mind’s attempt to predict the future. But how accurate are we in forecasting what will happen? Most of us have experienced moments where things turned out differently than we expected—sometimes for the better.

In coaching, we often see clients stuck because they believe that a particular missed chance was their “only” shot. Yet, if they look back at their lives, they may notice that new and even better opportunities arose, often when least expected. This begs the question: What if the future holds possibilities we cannot yet imagine?

Not Being Able to See Alternatives

When we miss what feels like a golden opportunity, it’s easy to slip into a mindset of scarcity. We can get caught in a loop that focuses purely on the missed opportunities in question. The belief that another chance won’t come along can blind us to the possibilities that are still present, or those that may lie ahead. But what if the missed opportunity was just one of many paths to a fulfilling outcome?

Consider this: What if something better or simply different is ahead, and we just haven’t seen it yet? The unknown can be both a source of fear and a wellspring of potential. By focusing on what’s lost, we may be missing what’s right in front of us or what’s just around the corner.

What if we didn’t take our thinking so seriously? Our minds often tell us stories about missed chances, convincing us that we’ll never get another shot. But what if those thoughts aren’t the final word? Our thinking is fluid—it changes, it shifts, and it’s not always as reliable as we may believe. By holding our thoughts more lightly, we create space for new insights and fresh opportunities to emerge. Perhaps the only thing standing between us and the next opportunity is our own attachment to the way we think it should look.

As coaches, we can support clients in recognising these blind spots by helping them challenge their thoughts around missed chances. Are they seeing the full spectrum of what’s available, or just what their mind has fixated on?

Trusting that Opportunities Will Come Again

What if you trusted that opportunities, much like the ocean’s tide, will flow back? If you’re in a place where this quote resonates because you feel you’ve just missed an important opportunity, ask yourself: Would you feel differently if you believed that something else—possibly even better—was on its way?

This shift in mindset can help alleviate the pressure of feeling that one missed chance defines your future. Instead, it can open you up to seeing life as a series of ongoing opportunities, some of which may be far better suited for your growth and happiness than the one you initially hoped for.

The Nature of Opportunity

What is the true nature of opportunity? Is it something that exists independently, waiting to be seized? Or is it a product of how we perceive and engage with the world? Our personal “rules” about what qualifies as an opportunity can limit or expand our view. For example, if we define opportunity narrowly—thinking it only comes in the form of a job offer, a relationship, or a specific project—we may miss the subtler opportunities for growth, learning, and connection that are all around us.

What if opportunities are not fixed, but fluid? Could it be that by loosening our grip on rigid expectations, we allow ourselves to see the full spectrum of opportunities available to us? Perhaps the “missed” opportunity was not the only path forward but one of many.

Expanding Your Perspective

If you find yourself dwelling on a missed opportunity, consider reflecting on these questions:

  • What if I knew that other opportunities were coming my way? How would that change how I feel now?
  • How open am I to seeing opportunities in different forms?
  • What “rules” do I have about what counts as an opportunity? Could these be limiting me?
  • What opportunities are right in front of me that I might be overlooking because I’m focused on the past?

As coaches, we can help clients shift from a mindset of scarcity to one of abundance. We can guide them to recognise that opportunities, like time, are part of an ongoing flow. Rather than fixating on what’s lost, we can help them tune in to the possibilities that are always present.

In Conclusion

Marie Bashkirtseff’s quote reminds us that while it’s normal to grieve missed opportunities, we can also remain open to the fact that life is filled with new chances. Next time you or your client feels the sting of missed opportunities, take a moment to let go of that thinking or question the assumptions behind that feeling. The future is unwritten, and new opportunities may be just around the corner—if only we keep our eyes and minds open and willing to notice.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is a transformative coach dedicated to empowering individuals to get out of their own way and make a meaningful impact in the world. With an impactful, nurturing coaching style, Jen supports clients in unlocking their potential and achieving their goals. As an experienced coach and trainer, she guides clients from self-doubt to success.

Discover how Jen can support you to get out of your own way, regardless of what missed opportunities you feel you’ve already had, here.


Self-Conceit and Growth: Coaching Questions to Cultivate Awareness

The image shows a large metallic wrecking ball smashing through a white wall, with sharp pieces of debris flying outward in all directions. The impact is depicted dramatically, with jagged fragments of the wall breaking apart, suggesting destruction and chaos. The background is clean and white, making the wrecking ball and the shattering effect the focal point. Below the image, there is text that reads: "Self-conceit may lead to self-destruction." This quote is attributed to The Frog and the Ox by Aesop.

The quote of the day is:

“Self-conceit may lead to self-destruction.” (The Frog and the Ox, Aesop)

Questions For Coaches:

  • What does self-conceit mean to you?
  • In what areas of your life could self-conceit be holding you back from growth or improvement?
  • How do you know when you have reached your current limits?
  • What are you afraid will happen if you reach beyond what you think your capabilities currently are?
  • What does this quote prompt for you?

Bonus Questions:

  • How can you develop a more balanced view of yourself that avoids the pitfalls of self-conceit?
  • How do you feel at the prospect of honest feedback? Does your answer change if you think of it delivered kindly?
  • What if your self-honesty was delivered kindly?

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is a transformative coach dedicated to empowering individuals to get out of their own way and make a meaningful impact in the world. With an impactful, nurturing coaching style, Jen supports clients in unlocking their potential and achieving their goals. As an experienced coach and trainer, she guides clients from self-doubt to success.

Discover how Jen can support you to get out of your own way here.