The Friday Guest post on Coaching Confidence is taking a break over the festive period. (Want to be a guest poster in 2011? visit HERE)
Instead, today you will find a list of all the guest posters since we started the feature with links to their respective posts.
I’d like to take this moment to thank all these posters for taking the time to share so generously. I’d also like to wish everyone a Happy New Year.
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“Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.” (Rudyard Kipling)
If you have been following this blog on twitter you will have noticed a variety of quotes being posted throughout each day. It’s something that I’ve had numerous comments about.
Quotes are yet another thing that can be at the coaches disposal to use during a coaching session. As with all methods that are at our disposal as coaches when and if you decide to use a quote will vary on individual circumstance. But why would you want to use quotes?
If you have used quotes through education you have probably been taught that you use quotes to credit the source of a piece of information or opinion. That may be something that appeals to some of your clients so it is possible that from time to time it is still one of the reasons you want to use a quote.
It is not the only reason you may use quotes as a coach. You may want to use a quote to provoke and not take personal responsibility for that message – perhaps you are afraid it would get in the way of the rest of your coaching relationship. As you are apparently talking about something somebody else said at a different time and place your client will often respond.
For example, coaching a customer-facing employee in a business you may quote a specific customer. It’s entirely possible that your client will be far more open to a conversation around this than if you voiced the same opinion as a bystander.
You can also use quotes to “borrow authority” to focus your clients attention or increase their willingness to answer a question or do an exercise. It can be used as a convincer to add extra-perceived credibility. For example, I’ve seen individuals willingly start an exercise after being told that it was something used by someone they admired, where they had previously been reluctant.
You may also use quotes that can inspire and motivate, grab attention or trigger new thoughts.
Starting in the New Year, in addition to the regular posting of quotes daily on twitter, there will also be a quote of the day appearing here on the Coaching Confidence blog. If you have a particular quote you like and/or find really helpful personally or with a client then feel free to share so I can include it on a future date.
I keep a notebook where I jot down ideas for future blog posts. Sometimes I refer to it for inspiration for that weeks post, while other times it can go weeks before I glance at it again. Glancing at it recently I noticed I had written: “Why is a coach like Santa?”
Apart from sounding like it potentially could be the first line of a joke you could find in a Christmas cracker I had neglected to make any further notes about my original train of thought when I made that note! Re-reading it now I suspect that I was thinking about presents and gifts rather than flying sleighs and climbing down chimneys. (Though I did write recently about the magical aspects of coaching)
The word present itself is an ambiguity, in the fact that it can have two meanings. It will obviously depend upon each individual coach, the way they work and each client but coaching can often have connections to both meanings of the word.
It’s not at all unknown for a coaching session to bring a client back to being in the present moment – not focusing upon the past or having thousands of thoughts about what to do in the future. (For clarity, I perhaps should mention that there will also be times when a coaching session may refer to a past event or achievement. Just as a coach may bring focus on the future e.g. establishing a goal to work towards.)
Coaching can also bring added benefits, or presents, that a client was not expecting. Perhaps they were motivated to work for you to move their business forward and also find that they are more energised and less stressed in the process. Perhaps they approached you to increase their confidence and also find that they have also got more business.
Coaching can also be about an individual’s gifts. Often these are attributes and talents that have gone un-noticed by the individual themselves. Normally they are things that the person finds easy and the value that others, who do not find them as easy/enjoyable, goes unrecognised.
While I suppose there are coaches who do enjoy a glass of milk and a cookie – I think that is one of those optional similarities with Santa.
If you can think of any other reasons why a coach is like Santa feel free to share and I wish you a very happy Christmas.
At various times in the last month I’ve seen numerous individuals comment on Twitter and in person that now they know that it’s nearly Christmas because “x” has just happened or because they have done “y” they are feeling very festive.
There have been a number of different scenarios described, for some it was seeing the Coca-Cola “holidays are coming” advert for the first time this year (For those who don’t know the advert I mean, or who just want to sing along with the tune, you can watch it here)
For others it was seeing the decorations go up as well as school concerts and plays.
Personally, I found myself commenting that I knew it was nearly Christmas because I was sat listening to Christmas tunes, sung by an entertaining welsh male voice choir. (The male voice choir was an added bonus it was the live performance of the Christmas tunes that was the indication for me.
Shopping and being covered in glitter from writing cards have also been mentioned in the same breath as “Now I know it’s Christmas.”
Maybe you’ve noticed the people in your life make similar remarks. These are all passing comments but are an indication of how each individual has different associations and connections with events that are going on around them and/or that they carry out at this time of year.
So other than it is creeping, or depending upon your point of view, hurtling ever closer towards December 25th why am I writing about this in a post that’s suppose to be about coaching?
I wanted to mention a specific question that, as with all questions, when used at an appropriate moment can be really powerful at moving someone forward:
“What would need to happen?”
This question can have four main benefits
1) Next steps of action can be identified
2) To be able to answer that question the client has to start to shift their focus away from a perceived obstacle and towards finding a solution or a different path.
3) Clear and easily recognisable markers can be identified so that the individual can see the progress they are making. It can also help make the end point much more specific.
The forth benefit depends upon how you phrase the question. You perhaps have noticed that you can easily include an ending to that question so it becomes “What would need to happen for …? “As a coach, you can choose to end that question with something that totally expands your client’s range of possibility.
For example, as a coach:
What would need to happen for you to be even more effective with your clients?
What would need to happen for you to have even more fun around coaching/ your coaching practice?
What would need to happen for you to make double your current coaching income next year?
Depending upon how your client responds you may need to prompt with follow ups such as: “what else?” or “what’s the very next step?”
Feel free to share what has to happen for it to feel like Christmas. Perhaps as a coach you’d like to answer the questions above or just make a comment about how you use this question.
Just type your message below followed by the submit comment button. I look forward to reading your comments.