behaviour

6 Coaching Opportunities To Uplevel Your Coaching Skills Thanks To Neuroscience

21 November 2014 in Guest Post tagged Amy Brann / behaviour / brain / clients / coaching / environment / goal setting / neuroscience

In this weeks guest post Amy Brann shares some of her expertise on the subject of Neuroscience and coaching

"6 Coaching Opportunities To Uplevel Your Coaching Skills Thanks To Neuroscience" By Amy Brann

6 Coaching Opportunities To Uplevel Your Coaching Skills Thanks To Neuroscience

By Amy Brann

From the perspective of Coaches, neuroscience is the field that can inform them of important things about the brain. Things that are key to new ways that you work with clients and also things that underpin things you are already familiar with. Neuroscience can explain why and how Coaching works. It can enlighten Coaches as to things to pay particular attention to. It can warn against other practices.

We believe an understanding of neuroscience will become expected to underpin everything that sits on top of it. Neuroscience is not claiming to be better than anything a Coach currently does or to replace it. Rather we suggest it will enhance your understanding of those you work with.

What can neuroscience offer the Coaching World?

An understanding of what happens when a person is being Coached,
Ways to create the best Coaching environment for clients,
For Coaches who use particular models, an understanding of how they might work or an opportunity to stop using outdated concepts,
A foundational understanding of the brain through which to evaluate everything,
The opportunity to ask better quality questions and consider what interventions would best serve your client,
A focus on important considerations for how to get desired action occurring, e.g. mental stress leads to habit behaviour rather than goal-directed behaviour so this informs how / when.

How does neuroscience relate to other disciplines?

We can think of neuroscience as a friend to other disciplines, such as psychology. Often in academic circles there is cross over and collaboration. In my team we have neuroscientists, psychologists, behaviour analysts and several other experts. In the spirit of full disclosure I’ll share that sometimes we generate a little heat between the neuroscientists and the behaviour guys. Ultimately though we all realise that we can each learn from one another and stimulate deeper research and insights.

When can I use neuroscience with a client?

There are a huge number of opportunities within a normal Coaching engagement to use neuroscience to guide us. Here are just a few, many of which take on new depth and significance when you understand the neuroscience (remembering some words have slightly different psychological or neuroscientific meaning to in normal Coaching usage, e.g. reward):

Coaching Opportunity	Example of Areas / studies in Neuroscience	Example of applications
Connecting with client	Trust and fairness and oxytocin	Actively finding ways to build trust with your client and demonstrate your fairness
Goal setting	Decision making, visualisation, willpower	Citing a visualisation study to help a client see the potential value
Examining their environment	Nudging and priming	Explore your client’s normal environment and where they are when they need to do behaviours leading to goal attainment
Behavioural evaluation	Hot & Cold network	Your client’s behaviour is key to their results and is influenced by many factors.
Rewards	Dopamine	Helping your client understand what is currently activating their reward circuitry can be empowering and important in making changes
Habits analysis	Hebbs Law, Basal Ganglia	Being clear on how new habits are formed

From the perspective of the Coach it makes sense to immerse oneself in all areas of study that can help us understand better how people’s minds and brains work.

About Amy Brann

If you’ve enjoyed this article, I invite you to visit Amy’s website, and become a member of her free and insightful Neuroscience for Coaches community, so that you can further experience the impact of applying neuroscience insights on your life and career! Understanding how the brain works gives you a competitive advantage over Coaches who do not. As a welcome gift, you will receive a special complimentary resources bundles that includes the 1st chapter of ‘Neuroscience for Coaches’, your Neuroscience for Coaches checklist, and your Neuroscience for Coaches Insights ebook.

Twitter: https://twitter.com/Amy_Brann

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amybrann

Destination nowhere without a change

31 October 2014 in Guest Post tagged Amanda Clegg / behaviour / change / choice / coaching / cycle of change / DiClemente / education / failure / Lao Tzu Prochaska / teacher coach / Thomas Edison

Returning guest poster, Teacher Coach Amanda Clegg shares more real life coaching experience in today’s guest post.

Destination nowhere without a change

by Amanda Clegg

A guest post by Amanda Clegg

“If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.”
(Lao Tzu)

As a teacher of some thirty years, I have often seen students with talent and ability throw it all away. The reasons are different, but the waste of opportunity is always the same. Recently I met an ex student in a deserted street, I had sadly permanently excluded him when I was Principal. These situations are never pleasant and I wondered how he would react all these years later.

Luke* noticed me almost as soon as I noticed him. He crossed the street and came right up to me blocking my passage on the pavement. He put out his hand and greeted me in a jovial fashion. I shook it and smiled back as my heart rate and adrenaline levels slowly decreased. He told me he was doing well now and that he had a girlfriend, a job and a flat of his own. He went on to say he was pleased I had taken a hard stance with him, because it was what he needed to make him recognise where he was headed. I cannot tell you the joy that I felt in my heart when we had finished talking. The heartache at the time was all worthwhile. Luke* was only one of two students I had to make the decision to admit we had failed. I now realise that with Luke* we had not failed, but made the right decision to help him on his first step to success.

Recently more so than ever before, I have noticed an increasing lack of willingness by students to even try to answer a question or start a task. For some reason they seem scared of getting it wrong. They do not want to see scored out work or teacher crosses on their pristine work. I am doing my best to get students to have a go and explain I really do not mind if they get it wrong. I deliberately do not rub out my work on the board anymore if I get something wrong. I put a line through it. I actively go overboard at thanking students who have a go at a question but don’t quite get it correct. Later in the lesson or the following one, I will quietly check with this student that they now know the answer. Then you guessed it – I ask them in front of everyone and they give the right answer so being rewarded with a merit (or chocolate or sticker). They have learned from making a mistake.

I told a class about Thomas Edison and how he is reported to have exclaimed “I have not failed, I have just found 10,000 ways that did not work” when experimenting with the light bulb. A lad said “That is inspirational Miss”. I thought he was being flippant, but afterwards he told me he really did find it a good way to look at things.

James and David* did not see how their continued low level disruptive behaviour was affecting their teacher. This is where I came in to try and assist as I was coaching this particular teacher. They did not see that it affected the work they completed or that they did not understand much of the content being taught. James and David* failed to recognise that some of their class mates were getting frustrated by their antics. The more the teacher tried to discipline them, the sillier they became. The class teacher was using all the tools available to her and when she finally had to send them out I took the opportunity to work with them.

We went into the Science work room. I placed four sheets of sugar paper around the room on the walls.

You may not be able to discern exactly what is written on each sheet, however just by looking at the number of comments it is possible to unpick their thinking.

sugar paper answers 1

sugar paper answers 2

It was so interesting to see James and David* work together on this task and the sudden realisation that carrying on the way they were was not going to get them to their destination or preferred future.

This task was adapted from the work of Prochaska and DiClemente on the Cycle of Change. Both boys were certainly in the precontemplation phase during the lesson. They did not realise that their behaviour was having an effect on their future or that of others. It was just a bit of a laugh to pass the time of day.

When I set them a task with the four questions posed above, they were made to think about change and how it would benefit them or how it would be a drawback. The speed of realisation was quite fast and they were both very honest about how the process made them think about what they were doing.

A summary of the stages in the Cycle of Change

1. Precontemplation : I’m not even thinking about change/ I did not realise there was a problem
2. Contemplation: I may change or I may not – I am thinking about it
3. Decision: I have decided to change / I have decided not to change
4. Active Changes: I have started to change
5. Maintenance : I am keeping up with the change/ I have changed
6. Relapse : I have gone backwards

It is important as a coach to recognise and remind yourself that you cannot bring about change in another person. They must want to change themselves. It is their choice to decide whether to make a change or not.

After doing the task, I asked David and James* what they thought about the future and explained to them whatever they did was a choice. They were making a decision.

James said he felt that sounded “heavy” and he had never really thought about it before as being a choice. David said he felt ashamed he was affecting other people’s chances in the class as he was not too bothered about his future as his Dad would always have a job for him. He however was the student saying how hard it was to think and maybe he was doing it because he had lost the knack of thinking through a problem.

As always in a school, life is governed by the bell and the boys went off to their next lesson. The thing that struck me most about this session was that I did not have to do or say anything other than to ask them to be honest and answer the questions on the sugar paper. I have brought the horse to water- will it drink is the question?

I have had many such conversations with young people over the past thirty years and most where I did the “telling” rather than facilitating. I look back to the first part of the blog and wonder if I could have prevented myself and Luke from a lot of angst if I had let him do more of the talking.

*Names have been changed to protect their identity.

Further Reading:

Prochaska,J.O , Norcross, J.C and DiClemente, C.C. ( 2007) Changing for Good, William Morrow & Co.

About Amanda Clegg

Amanda Clegg has been a science teacher in state secondary schools for almost thirty years. She was a member of a Senior Leadership team for 15 years before being asked to lead a private sixth form college through their initial ISI inspection. The college achieved an outstanding judgement. Amanda now works as an Educational and Coaching Consultant in Oxfordshire and Swindon. She is currently acting as temporary Head of Science two days a week in a local secondary school, as well as being an Associate trainer for Creative Education, co-author of a GCSE revision guide and an Associate Lecturer for UWE on the PGCE programme.

www.akc-edconsultancy.co.uk

https://www.facebook.com/AKCConsultancy

http://uk.linkedin.com/in/akcconsultancy

email: cft-acleggsupanetcom

Twitter: @Teachercoach1

Coaching with Logical Levels 3

10 May 2013 in Guest Post tagged behaviour / beliefs / business coach / business coaching / capabilities / charging / client / clients / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / environment / executive coach / identity / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / Logical Levels / nlp coach / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / Phil Manington / purpose / Robert Dilts / Suffolk Coaching Zone / values

In this week’s guest post Phil Manington shares how he uses a specific NLP model.

"Coaching with Logical Levels" A guest post by Phil Manington

Coaching with Logical Levels

By Phil Manington

Anyone familiar with NLP will probably have come across Robert Dilts’s Logical Levels model. It is a great tool for exploring how and why we do what we do. It works at a system level and provides a powerful way of creating sustainable change in an individual or organisation.

It looks at our thinking across six levels:

The Environment level involves the external conditions in which you live. Questions such as: “Where?”, “When?” and “With whom?” are typical Environment level questions.
The Behaviour level refers to what you do in different environments.
Capabilities (whether mental, physical or emotional) describe how you do what you do. What are your skills and strategies for taking action?
Beliefs and Values define why you do something and shape the way you perceive the world. Beliefs can be both empowering and limiting.
Identity consolidates whole systems of beliefs and values into a sense of self. It defines who you think you are, as an individual or an organisation.
Purpose involves your connection to something that goes beyond yourself. At this level, useful questions are: “For whom am I doing this?” and “What is my purpose?”.

Many change initiatives focus at the behaviour and capability levels and this can be very effective on occasions. For example, anyone wanting to lose weight will have used exercise and/or dieting to become more fit and healthy.

However, when a client comes for coaching it is usually because they have tried these approaches and they haven’t worked – they are stuck. The Logical Levels model provides a way uncovering the root cause of the situation.

Uncovering the Root Cause

Listening to the client’s language will provide useful pointers to the level that might be important. For example:

I usually end up in the kitchen at parties (environment/behaviour)
I argue a lot (behaviour)
I’m not very good at dancing (capability)
People should tell the truth (belief)
I want to be less stressed (value)
That’s just the sort of person I am (identity)

You may notice your client is focussing around certain levels – you can gather more information by asking questions that take them to other levels. For example:

What do you feel when that happens? (behaviour)
Why is that important to you? (value)
What assumptions are you making about this? (belief)
What does that say about you as a person? (identity)
What does that do for you? (value)

Making Changes

Clearly the way you help a client change depends on the specific information you uncover but guiding them round the levels can break through seemingly insoluble blocks. Here’s an example:

After my marriage broke up, I suffered a crisis of confidence and was thrown back into an old set of beliefs about not being attractive to women. My friends encouraged me to “just get out there” and I knew, rationally that this made sense. After all, one of my favourite books is ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’! And yet I kept putting it off. My coach and colleague, Steve, helped me shift from this stuck place:

We started with my assertion that “I am not attractive to women” – an identity level statement. Rather than trying to challenge this directly he moved me around the levels. He said:

“OK, let’s put that to one side for a moment – tell me what your strengths are”.

I listed a number of things and he picked up on something that I said about learning. Not only am I good at learning but I am passionate about it – I love it. So we had established a capability and a core value for me.

His next question was a great example of elegant coaching:

“So, returning to your relationship with women, who do you know who’s good at it?”

This is a loaded question, with a presupposition that relating to women is a skill issue, not an identity one. Of course, I could name several people and we discussed what they did that seemed to work. His next question:

“So, do you think you could learn to do some of those things?”

was met with cautious optimism and I finished our session with the belief that being attractive was more about skill and behaviour rather than identity – and I also had practical actions to start improving.

This sort of approach works really well for anyone who has low self-confidence or low self-esteem. It’s particularly dispiriting to hold a limiting belief at the identity level because we don’t feel we can possibly change. But often it is only a belief and by using the Logical Levels model to change the way someone sees themselves (for example, from “that’s just who I am” to “I am just not very skilled yet”), it is possible to facilitate quite profound transformations.

About the Author

Phil Manington is co-founder of Suffolk Coaching Zone. He is a professional trainer, coach and management consultant, specialising in helping businesses and individuals to make successful change and achieve their full potential.

Phil currently offers training, workshops and one-to-one coaching for personal and business clients. Specialist areas include leadership skills, building self-confidence and self-esteem, and improving relationships.

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/SuffolkCoachingZone

Twitter – @SuffolkCZ

Website – http://www.suffolk-coaching.com

How does your mindset affect your business?

20 January 2012 in Guest Post tagged behaviour / business / business coach / business coaching / charging / client / clients / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / deciding / doing / emotions / executive coach / feelings / Jim Rohn / Karen Williams / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / mindset / nlp coach / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / Robert Collier / Self Discovery Coaching / state / success / The Secrets of Successful Coaches / Thought

Coach and author Karen Williams shares her expertise and knowledge in today’s guest post and asks:

How does your mindset affect your business?

by Karen Williams

Let me share with you one of my beliefs. I believe that you can have all the marketing and business knowledge you need, but unless you have the right mindset, you’ll struggle to make it in terms of running a successful business.

Our mindset has an incredible affect on what we do and how we do it. It is more than just belief and confidence, it is about the way we approach a situation, our outlook, our mental attitude and the way in which we think. It is about the language we use to talk to ourselves and others, as well as the thoughts we have in our head about a problem or a solution.

Think about it now. Have you been with someone where their mindset has not been at its best? Perhaps they have been feeling down, depressed or concerned about something. Or maybe they have been feeling unsure or frustrated. Now that’s not to say that we always have to be on top form, but noticing your mindset, your thoughts and your actions is the starting point of understanding how it impacts on your success.

Let’s think about another person you know who has a positive mindset. Someone who always sees life with the glass completely full, has energy and enthusiasm, and a zest for life.

Where do you fit?

How do you feel about that?

If you are like most people, you are probably somewhere in the middle. Some days you will be feeling fantastic, and on other days, you will want to stay beneath the duvet. So with my comment in mind that your mindset affects your success, what can you do to recognise your state and do something about it when you need to?

The first step is to recognise how you feel every day and be aware of your emotions and feelings. If you are feeling negative or frustrated, what can you do to change your state? I know that sometimes you’ll want to wallow for a while, but think about how you will feel when you’ve broken the pattern and done something else instead? One of the strategies I follow is the premise that motion changes your emotion, so physically get up, do something different and return to your task later.

The second step is to be aware of what you could do differently to retrain your brain. In a nutshell, we have thousands of thoughts every day and we need to decide what to hold onto and what ones to ditch. Our beliefs often inform the thoughts we have, which inform the feelings we have about the beliefs, then this influences our behaviour and the consequences. You then have a choice on whether you create a vicious circle or a virtuous circle. If you keep thinking negatively, which creates negative behaviour, you will enter a downward spiral, but if you break the pattern, you can create a virtuous circle. These, by their very nature, then create more happiness and wellbeing.

The third step is to be aware of the impact that other people’s behaviour has on you. You could say that it is your choice how another person’s behaviour can affect you, it is often difficult to put this into practice, especially if this behaviour is pessimistic. Generally negativity breads negativity, so it can be difficult to break the pattern. But there are things you can do about it. The late Jim Rohn said that “you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”. So ensure you spend your time with inspirational people whose goals, aims and intentions are bigger than your own. When you do this, you’ll raise your game, achieve more, and get the support to step through your comfort zone quicker and more easily than you could do by yourself.

Before I move on, I’d like to give you something else to think about.

Five frogs are sitting on a log. Four decide to jump off. How many are left?
Answer: five
Why? Because there is a difference between deciding and doing!

With this in mind, what are you going to decide to do differently going forward? Are there new strategies and habits you need to put into place? Only you can decide to have a success mindset. Then when you have chosen this mindset, you will be focused on abundance rather than lack, success rather than failure, so can you see now how it can make a difference to your business?

You’ll be the one achieving results, getting more clients and generally feeling inspired and inspirational! Doesn’t this sound like a great place to be?

“Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out” ~ Robert Collier

About the Author/Further Resources

Karen Williams runs Self Discovery Coaching and is the author of The Secrets of Successful Coaches, which reached #1 in the Business charts on Amazon. Having interviewed 24 top performance coaches, Karen has learnt from the experts how to create a successful coaching business. Since just 10% of coaches make it in terms of running a successful business, she gets frustrated when she sees coaches who are amazing, but don’t have the business skills or confidence to make a difference. Karen’s big vision is to enable more coaches to reach more people and help them to live a happier and fulfilled life.

You can download Karen’s 38 Success Mindset tips at http://www.thesecretsofsuccessfulcoaches.com/successmindset/ and follow Karen’s current Ultimate Blog Challenge – 31 posts in 31 days so I make this number 32!

You can also follow Karen on Facebook and Twitter.

Loving Communication: A Coach’s View 1

19 August 2011 in Guest Post tagged Anja Schuetz / behaviour / business coach / business coaching / charging / client / clients / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / executive coach / eye contact / focus / hands / intention / Iyanla Vanzant / judge / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / loving communication / nlp coach / non-verbal communication / Oprah Winfrey / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / why

In today’s guest post coach Anja Schuetz shares her expertise and thoughts on loving communication.

Loving Communication: A Coach’s View

by Anja Schuetz

The Dutch TV aired a re-run of an Oprah episode the other day, where Iyanla Vanzant returns to the show after 11 years. Oprah and her had parted ways 11 years ago after a “betrayal” and this was the first time they saw each other again. As viewers we became witness to a conversation in which they may or may not make up.

I loved how Iyanla set the tone by starting the conversation with a sincere, heartfelt apology:

“I love you. I have always loved you and had nothing but positive regard for you. And I am now so sorry. I am aware of how my behavior and my choices could have appeared to you and been experienced by you as betrayal. Please forgive me. Please! That was not my intention. Ever.”

Notice how she takes Oprah’s hands and keeps eye contact as she apologizes. Even though the conversation gets a little heated later on – this strong acknowledgment from both sides in the very beginning set the right intention for both parties and allowed them to keep coming back to a common ground – compassionately and even humorous at times.

It is evident that both party’s intention is to understand each other’s behaviors, reasonings and intentions during that conflict eleven years ago and then MOVE ON from there, while re-newing their relationship.

It is fascinating to watch their language, which doesn’t contain any blame or negative energy. Rather than “But you said…!” they phrase their statements like this “What I heard you saying/What I thought you were saying, is…” Can you hear the difference? It says, ”I’m not holding you responsible for how I feld about what I heard.” As opposed to “You made me feel bad!” It creates an open space. It allows the sender of the message to see how their words arrived on the other side. It bypasses their ego and wins over the desire to be right.

You never told me you liked me…

We all live in our own reality. We all judge situations by the way we see them; by the way we see the world. However how we see the world is colored by how we see ourselves. And how we see ourselves is coloured by our past experiences and the beliefs and rules we have made up for ourselves.

This becomes so very clear in the second part of the following small clip, where Iyanla says, “You never told me you liked me!” and Oprah is flabbergasted how Iyanla could have possibly missed how much she liked her (through the actions and behavior she showed to Iyanla).

Oprah and Iyanla Vanzant’s Misunderstanding

While this is clear evidence of Oprah and Iyanla speaking different love languages it becomes also clear that Iyanla wouldn’t have “heard” it no matter what language Oprah had spoken. Because she didn’t feel she deserved it. Because according to her own made-up rules, she felt she hadn’t worked hard enough for this yet.

The fame and the opportunities came too early in her perception. That’s why she couldn’t allow herself to receive. Watch how important it is to her to be heard by Oprah, who at first really doesn’t get it, because she doesn’t live by the same limiting rules.

We never know what’s going on in the other person. We never have the full story. We never truly know their feelings and fears, which might have influenced their behavior. Yet we constantly guess and then take our guesses for the truth.

Focus on intention!

Every behavior follows a positive intention. We make decisions and behave according to what makes sense to us at the time. However this doesn’t always make sense to other people.

If someone behaves strangely in our eyes, most of us make up a story that fits our image of the world, as to why they are behaving that way. Rather than entering a clarifying conversation, we label them “stupid” and we might even read their minds and tell other people “He thinks he is the king of the world!!” We constantly interpret behaviors and attach meanings to them that make sense to us.

Rather than judging people’s behavior, let’s try and focus on their intention instead. The only way to find out the other person’s intention is to ask them. Open a dialogue and ask, “What was your intention, when you did that?”

Can you hear the difference to “Why did you do that??”

The word “why?” forces the other person into defensive mode and asks for justification of past behavior. It’s a very loaded question and can come across in itself as a judgment. Just imagine someone saying it to you, including the hidden second part of the question, “Why did you do that, you [adjective] [noun]??” 🙂

“What was your intention?” is pretty much the same question, however it sounds a lot less loaded and it’s constructive. It keeps you both looking forward; it keeps you focused on a solution, not on blame and as you agree that the intention was good, you only need to find a better method (=behavior) together on how to follow through on that positive intention.

There are always two goals in any situation: One is to achieve a certain outcome, the other is to maintain our relationships with the people involved.

This is the whole meaning of the quote “Nobody can win an argument.”

As important as it is to focus on our own intentions to achieve our goals in life, as important it is to focus on other people’s intentions before we judge them.

Or better yet… INSTEAD of judging them.

About the Author/Further Resources

Anja Schuetz is a Recognition Professional and Coach. By day she works with managers to use more loving communication in the workplace and by night she coaches women through uncertainty to confidence.

She is also the author of the People Management Coaching Cards at www.selfcoachingcards.eu.

Find out more about Anja at www.anjaschuetz.net or connect with her on Facebook.com/virtualanja or Twitter @virtualanja.

Making the Most of Your Brand: YOU!

1 April 2011 in Guest Post tagged behaviour / beliefs / brand / business coach / business coaching / charging / client / clients / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / executive coach / image / Jennifer Holloway / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / marketing / nlp coach / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / reputation / selling / skills / value

In this week’s guest post Jennifer Holloway shares her expertise about what is your personal brand and some of the benefits you can get from personal branding.

Making the Most of Your Brand: YOU!

By Jennifer Holloway

Everyone has a personal brand – whether they know it or not; that mix of things that defines who you are and what you’re all about, including:

Your Values – the principles by which you live your life, the rules you use to define right and wrong. Think of these as the foundations on which your personal brand is built. For one of my clients, his values centred around an overarching desire to be genuine and honest whilst still showing empathy to others.

Your Beliefs – what you hold to be important to you, the things that motivate you to do what you do, that drive you to succeed. It could be money, it could be fame, it could be a wish to make a difference. So for instance, I had a client who felt you should always take responsibility and act as if someone is looking, even when they’re not.

Your Reputation – in a nutshell, what you’re known for. Looking at this in more traditional marketing terms, you might call this your strapline. I’ve generated a reputation as ‘The Antidote to Yes Men’ – saying what needs to be said and making things happen.

Your Behaviour – what you say and do that is an outward communication of those deeper values and beliefs. You could think about it as the three words they’d use to describe yourself. Just some of the words used by my clients have been ‘trailblazing’, ‘larger-than-life’, ‘dynamic’, ‘inspiring’, ‘rebel’, ‘connector’…the list goes on.

Your Skills – your strengths, your natural talents, the things you excel at doing. One way to think about this is to look at the things that others come to you for. When I worked in an office I became the ‘go to’ person for writing copy because of my way with words and a love of language (plus a qualification in editing which helped!)

And last, but certainly not least…

Your Image – not just how you look but how you sound as well. This tells people an awful lot about you and will usually tie back in to all the previous things. For instance, one director I worked with used his quirky cufflinks to add a bit of individuality, while another added a large sports watch to his pinstripes to give a hint to the fact he was a keen cyclist.

Put all those layers together and you have your personal brand and the great thing is that if you take the time to define exactly what that brand is and then learn how to promote that to your audiences, you’ll get payback – BIG TIME! Here are just 10 of the benefits of personal branding:

Defining your personal brand gives you the confidence to be yourself.
Being yourself is a lot easier than trying to be someone else.
By focusing on what’s great you add clarity to your brand.
You can also pinpoint the thing that really makes you stand out from the crowd.
Promoting your personal brand helps you sell your benefits to your audiences.
By selling the benefits people know what they’re buying into.
Doing this consistently helps people to trust what they’re buying into.
People like to put things into neat little boxes in their mind, so you give them the box to put you into.
By having you in a neat box, it’s easier for people to sell you and your benefits to others.
If you don’t do all of that, you’ll get left behind.

So do you know what your personal brand is?

About the Author/Further Resources

Jennifer Holloway With a career including 15 years in the strategic PR and communications, Jennifer knows a thing or two about promoting a personal brand – she did it every time she picked up the phone to a journalist. The result? She stood out from the ‘press office crowd’ and got her stories on the front page as well as national TV.

When not making headlines Jennifer was mentoring and coaching colleagues and, sensing she had discovered a new passion, was inspired to change careers entirely, setting up her own personal brand coaching business, Spark.

Today, she is a personal brand expert, using her knack for spotting someone’s USP and her way with words to help them promote that in everything they say and do. Known as ‘The Antidote to Yes-Men’ her down-to-earth, straight talking, honest style delivers real value by helping today’s leaders discover how, by being themselves, they can be even more successful.

And when she’s not doing all that, Jennifer is living her version of The Good Life, pottering around the garden in her anorak and wellies, keeping bees and feeding chickens – and occasionally sipping a nice glass of Rioja while listening to The Archers.

Visit Jennifer’s website at www.sparkexec.co.uk

Are you a magician? 1

2 December 2010 in Coaching tagged behaviour / business coach / business coaching / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching preparation / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / coaching welcome pack / executive coach / Free resource / illusion / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / Lord Byron / magic / magical / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / Thought

“The power of Thought, the magic of the mind!”
(Lord Byron)

A few coaching sessions ago, after the use of a carefully chosen comment, one of my clients accused me of performing magic. Now this isn’t the first time I’ve been accused of doing magic, being a witch or generally possessing supernatural skills during a coaching session.

I’m certainly not claiming to be unique in this – I know I’ve commented to my coaches in the past that if they had lived in a different era they may have been burnt at the stake!

I would like to offer that this isn’t magic, but it can be a magical experience. As a coach I’m not creating an illusion, if anything I’m often challenging illusions that individuals have created for themselves.

One of the things that I am listening for when I coach is the beliefs and the stories that an individual are telling themselves when they describe a situation.

Sometimes, a client will tell me directly, perhaps prompted by a question or a comment from myself as a coach.

On other occasions it’s implied by what they have said – it’s what must be presupposed for a statement or a comment to be true. I’m often looking for what someone must think is true for the experience they are describing to be real for them.

I mentioned challenging illusions earlier and I think that a stumbling block for a coach can be if you “buy into” a client’s illusion and treat it as true. If you do that then you are reducing the number of options that you may take with that client and potentially reducing the effectiveness of your work with that client.

It’s one thing if there is a conscious decision that a different route of questions is where you want to head. It’s another matter all together if that alternative direction of questioning is never even considered.

One of the concerns I can hear from those beginning gaining coaching experience is about what they can do if they ever find themselves stuck for what to say or ask next. While there are several things that you can do, if you ever find yourself “stuck” for the next question then you may want to consider the possibility that you have bought into your clients illusion. It may be that the thing that has you stuck for a question/comment is exactly the same thing that is tripping up your client.

Trust Me, I’m a coach 1

10 November 2010 in Coaching tagged behaviour / business coach / business coaching / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching preparation / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / coaching welcome pack / executive coach / Free resource / George MacDonald / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / Stephen R Covey / trust

“It is a greater compliment to be trusted than to be loved.”

(George MacDonald)

The subject of trust was mentioned in a comment by Dave Doran to my recent post “How to ask hard questions.” When trust exists in a coaching relationship I find that it makes a massive difference and I thought it deserved some more discussion.

Before I go any further with this it seems appropriate that I spend a moment talking about what trust actually is. After all it’s not as if we can nip own to the local supermarket and buy a tin of trust or “pick it up and put it in a wheelbarrow.”

Looking up the word trust in the dictionary it gives definitions for the use of the term as a noun and as a verb.

I often get the impression when coaches speak of trust they are talking about clients trusting them by being honest and open to new perspectives.

Are we as coaches passive in this particular aspect of the coaching relationship? Is it something that we just expect clients to do without our input?

As with many questions I ask on this site, I think if you have already got a style, system, methodology etc that works for you and your clients I wouldn’t dream of suggesting you “should” be doing something another way.

My personal response to the questions above is that I place my focus on demonstrating trustworthy behaviours, or as the dictionary would say being “worthy of trust and reliable.”

Notice I deliberately talk about demonstrating trustworthy behaviours rather than being trustworthy. That in itself is perhaps deserving of a post in its own right but for now I’ll just say that this helps to focus upon what you can do and away from getting caught up listening to any “I’m not worthy” thoughts.

“Just as trust comes from trustworthiness, trustworthiness comes from character and competence, the fruit is wisdom and judgement – the foundation of all great and lasting achievement and trust.”

(Stephen R Covey)

So for you what behaviours are connected with someone who is trustworthy?

For me, making and keeping promises, apologizing if something does go wrong and involving others when necessary are some aspects of being trustworthy. Demonstrating these can be as simple as keeping appointment times when arranged or happily referring people to other products/individuals if they are a better fit than my own work.

What I don’t recall hearing discussed much is the trust, as a coach, you have in your client. Yet, for me, this is such a powerful aspect of how I coach.

So how much trust do you give your clients? Stephen R Covey says “Trust becomes a verb when you communicate to others their worth and potential so clearly that they are inspired to see it in themselves.”

It’s one of the things I’m checking when I first chat with a potential client – can I place trust in the fact that this individual has the power within them to choose and to change. I don’t recall having a conversation when I’ve not been able to do that but if the day ever comes than I know that I’m not the best coach for that person.

I leave you with a final quote for now:

“Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is; treat a man as he can and should be and he will become as he can and should be.”

(Goethe)

What role does trust play in your coaching?

Do you do anything to encourage trust, or does it just happen naturally?

If you have any comments or thoughts you’d like to share feel free to add those below and click submit comment.