Sometimes it’s the smallest moments that reveal the most.
I was driving recently with someone in the passenger seat when they said the Q word.
Now, if you immediately knew what I meant, I’m guessing you’ve worked in retail, hospitality, or some kind of customer-facing role.
For those who haven’t, the Q word is “quiet.”
As in, “It’s quiet today.”
Back when I worked in hospitality, a couple of decades ago now, saying that word was like casting a spell.
Utter it, and suddenly there’d be a queue down the road. People arriving all at once with the most unusual and urgent requests.
So when my passenger casually commented on how quiet the traffic was, I groaned automatically.
My brain already had a story running.
“Well, you’ve jinxed it now.”
It’s been years since I worked that job.
And yet there it was.
A habit of thinking, still firing on cue.
A coaching reflection
How many of these small, inherited stories do we all carry around?
Ideas that once made sense in a particular context, at a particular time.
And yet they continue to run long after that moment has passed.
Sometimes they’re obvious.
Sometimes they’re so familiar we barely notice them at all.
A thought appears, and before we realise it, we’re reacting to it as though it’s still relevant.
As though it still applies.
But occasionally something interrupts that automatic response.
A moment of awareness.
And in that moment, we see the thought for what it is.
Just something that learned its lines a long time ago.
And is still repeating them.
Questions for coaches
If you’re a coach, you might enjoy reflecting on a few of these:
What old stories are still running quietly in the background for you?
Where might those ideas have come from originally?
Which ones still feel useful?
And which ones might simply be habits of thought that have carried on without being questioned?
When have you seen a client suddenly recognise a pattern like this?
No need to answer them all. Sometimes one question is enough.
A quiet thought
Not every thought that appears is current.
Some are echoes.
And sometimes, simply noticing that is enough for something to shift these old thought patterns.
About Jen Waller
Jen Waller is a transformative coach who works with thoughtful professionals and coaches who want a quieter, more honest way forward.
Her work creates space for reflection and insight, helping people reconnect with their own clarity, wisdom, and direction.