Yearly Archives: 2011


The 12 days of coaching resources

You’ve probably noticed that Christmas is approaching – In the UK there’s been festive tunes and decorations in shops and many festive adverts on the TV for weeks.

As a child one of my favourite Christmas songs was the 12 days of Christmas something I have loosely taken as a theme for daily posts in the run up to Christmas.

Starting tomorrow, each day for the next 12 days I will be posting about a different coaching resource. I intend to include resources that are in different mediums, covering a mix of topics and in a range of different prices (including some complementary resources.)

Depending upon your coaching experience and style I suspect that you will find some resources more appealing and attractive than others. As you read each post I invite you to consider which one(s) would be most useful for you. I also invite you to share your own thoughts in the comments section.

Scheduling wise, the site will also still have the daily quote of the day posts and the personal development and guest posts will be returning after Christmas.

The 12 days of coaching resources


The Ghost of Christmas future

“As for your future, your task is not to foresee it, but to enable it.”

(Antoine de Saint-Exupery)

This is the third piece in a series of pieces inspired by the festive story of A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. If you missed the first one you can read it again here and the second one can be found here.

The third and final Ghost to put in an appearance in the story is the Ghost of Christmas future, who perhaps would be more accurately named the Ghost of Christmas future that may be – though I’ll admit it doesn’t have quite the same ring! As Scrooge found out the future that he was shown was one possible outcome if he carried on taking the same action.

The end of the year is nearly upon us and many people use the New Year as a time to set New Years Resolutions, set goals for their future and evaluate what they would love to create in the year ahead.

Unless you are a clairvoyant then our perception of the future is all best guesses about the chances we believe something will happen based upon experience and the action to be taken.

And sometimes this can be an incredibly useful way of behaving, for example the chances are very high that you will burn yourself if you stick you hand on a hot stove. For the record, it’s something I personally recommend that you don’t do J

You may have noticed that how we imagine the future can have an impact upon what we do in the present. If you played with last weeks piece you may also be aware that sometimes we also place restrictions upon ourselves by the stories we tell about our future.

I don’t know if you have ever listened to the way that some people describe what they want in the future but the language they use and how they describe it to themselves can make a big difference to how easy they find taking action to make what they are describing a reality in their future.

Have you ever heard someone say a variation of “what I want is to get back to …”?

For example I want to get back to a size 12

I want to get back to sleeping 8 hours a night.

I want to get back the confidence I had 10 years ago.

Maybe you have your own version of something you want to get back to …

What I’ve noticed is that when people include that “get back to” in the description of what they want, the focus is upon the fact that they have lost it rather than the outcome. This may be an accurate description of what they are feeling. However, I do know that it is often easier to get the result you want by just tweaking the language you are using so that you loose the “get back” bit without loosing the result that you want.

For example, I want to get back to a size 12 becomes I want to be a size 12,

Or

I want to get back to sleeping 8 hours a night becomes I want to sleep 8 hours a night.

In both examples the focus has shifted to totally being upon the outcome that you want.

Sometimes as you tweak, it may be appropriate to add more specifics of what you want in the future.

For example, I want to get back the confidence I had 12 years ago can become I want to be feeling confident as I return to work.

This week as I know the festive period is often a busy one I invite you just to notice the language that you use and to play with the description of anything you want to “get back to”.

Next week I will stick to the theme of how we predict the future and get more specific about New Years Resolutions, goal setting and creating the year that you want.

I hope that you have a fantastic Christmas week

Love

Jen

This was originally posted on www.YourChangingDirection.com


Discover your ‘Book of Rules’…

In this week’s guest post Evolved Master Coach Morgan Tinline shares insights and explainations about how we are “wired.”

Discover your ‘Book of Rules’…

by Morgan Tinline

As an Evolved Master Coach, I work almost entirely with the unconscious mind – also called the conditioned mind. This is where clients experience lasting change that happens very quickly. I assist clients to essentially change their ‘wiring’ so that they choose to be cause and create the life they desire.

As is my foremost objective when in a coaching session, I want to offer you the opportunity to gain massive value from this post simply by enjoying it for yourself in whatever way is best for you!

So, from my perspective as an Evolved Master Coach, I want to share with you some information on how we are ‘wired’ and more importantly, how that ‘wiring’ serves us as individuals on an unconscious level. And of course, I’d love for you to gain insights into how to change that wiring almost effortlessly!

Let’s start with how we perceive and process our world…

Internal Representations:

Your internal representation will to a great extent determine your focus. You will soon learn that you get what you focus on. Your focus determines your thinking; your thinking determines your behaviour, which determines your results.

The Five senses (VAKOG) supply information from the outside world directly to the conditioned mind for processing/filtering. This information together with our Self-Talk (Ad) creates our Internal Representation.

Your unconscious mind is symbolic and it thinks and communicates using V, A, K, O, G and Ad. In order to use our minds effectively we need to use all of our Internal Representations, aligning them with what we want.

Think of all the signs that you see for caution or warning… “Don’t Slip” for example (with a picture of a man slipping). Remember that the unconscious mind doesn’t process negatives directly. The mind processes everything through VAKOG all the time. Rather state everything in the positive, FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WANT.

What feeling and images are in your mind when you think of yourself slipping on a wet floor? What kind of internal representation would that create? Our Internal Representation becomes our focus… we tend to produce the necessary behaviour to manifest that. This is the basis for effective change.

“Don’t think of a pink elephant”

Realise that you can’t think about what you don’t want to think about without thinking about it.

So all 5 senses and our self talk together, make up our Internal Representation. Now ask “What am I focusing on? Is my focus positive?” From now on this includes all 6 things we can do in our minds. Are all the systems supporting you towards successful achievement of your goal? This will make a huge difference in your life.

picture for Morgan Tinline guest post dec 11

Our mind sorts information into 7 ± 2 chunks of information. Our Internal Representation constantly combined with our Physiology creates our State. State dictates our Behaviour and we create certain Results in our lives.

Focus Filters

What are you focusing on? Is it towards what you want or towards what you don’t want? Are you focusing on what you want or are you focusing on what you don’t want?

Core Focus Filters – (Internal Acid Test)

Our core focus filters are our human needs. This model has been adopted from Anthony Robbins, who says “You don’t always get what you want, but you always get what you need.”

These needs are not wants and desires, but profound needs which service the basis of every choice we make.

You will always find a way to fulfil your core needs, either in a positive, negative or neutral way.

There are 6 basic human needs:

Certainty

This is our need for safety, security, consistency and predictability.

Variety

The opposite of certainty is our need for uncertainty, variety, the unknown, risk, challenges.

Significance

This is our need for being important, being needed, feeling worthy, unique, status

Love / Connection

Our need for connection, intimacy, love, sharing, bonding

The first 4 human needs Certainty, Variety, Significance, Love / Connection are the needs of the body/personality. People will do ANYTHING to meet these needs, one way or another.

The needs of our spirit or soul are met through Growth and Contribution…

Growth

Our need for growth, expansion, learning, becoming more… when we stop growing, we die. We need to constantly develop emotionally, physically and spiritually.

Contribution

Our need to go beyond our own needs and contributing to others, making a difference in others lives, helping, educating, coaching.

We tend to focus on two; the dominant two influence our behaviour the most.

Exercise:

1) Write down all the ways you currently get: Certainty, Variety, Significance, Love/Connection, Growth and Contribution in your life in general.

2) Answer the following questions (take your time and think about it).

a) What is it that drives you? What are your top 2 Core Focus Filters? Which two do you value the most?

b) How does this impact the quality of your life? What are the consequences (positive and negative) of valuing these needs in this order?

Process Focus Filters – (Inner Parent)

These are process driven that shape our Focus and our reality.

Meta Programs

Values

Beliefs

Memories

Decisions

Attitudes

Language

Time/Space/Matter/Energy

Key Focus Filter – (Internal Driver)

This holds the Key of your Focus. It determines what is and what isn’t important, based on all the other filters. Your mind created a question that sums up all your filters together. It filters your conscious and unconscious thinking, all the time. It is basically the question that you keep asking yourself consciously or unconsciously, no matter what you are doing. You filter all information coming in through your 5 senses all 400 Billion bps as if your life depended on it. How important do you think this question is?

And now, for the even more amazing stuff. For those of you want to discover your own unconscious ‘instruction manual’…

 

Book of Rules Exercise:

 

What is important in your life?

List the top 5 things that you value in life. What is life about for you? What are you striving for, what would you like to feel or experience in life?

 

1. ___________________________________________________________________

2. ___________________________________________________________________

3. ___________________________________________________________________

4. ___________________________________________________________________

5. ___________________________________________________________________

 

(For each of the above that you listed answer the following question)

For you to feel/experience __________ , what needs to happen, what needs to be present in order for you to feel that way or to experience that?

 

1. ___________________________________________________________________

2. ___________________________________________________________________

3. ___________________________________________________________________

4. ___________________________________________________________________

5. ___________________________________________________________________

 

In the past, what have been the feelings you would do almost anything to avoid?

List here the top 5, your biggest ‘Away From’:

 

1. ___________________________________________________________________

2. ___________________________________________________________________

3. ___________________________________________________________________

4. ___________________________________________________________________

5. ___________________________________________________________________

 

(For each of the above that you listed answer the following question)

For you to feel/experience __________ , what needs to happen, what needs to be present in order for you to feel that way or to experience that?

 

1. ___________________________________________________________________

2. ___________________________________________________________________

3. ___________________________________________________________________

4. ___________________________________________________________________

5. ___________________________________________________________________

 

Most people make it really difficult to achieve their ‘Towards Values’ and really easy to achieve their ‘Away Values’. Why not make it really easy to achieve your towards by using OR, and make it really difficult to achieve Away but using AND.

 

I trust you have enjoyed asking some of the right questions for the answers you’ve always had! You can email me with any questions/queries and feedback. Send email to mo****@***********ow.com

In conclusion, I leave you with the words of my friend and mentor…

“May you find all that you seek outside, inside of you.” – RS

About the author

blavatarMorgan Tinline is an Evolved Master Coach currently living in South Africa. He is passionate about people and assisting them in accessing their massive potential. Add to that his past personal experience and triumph over severe depression as well as overcoming Bipolar Disorder without any medical assistance or traditional therapy, and you get a coach who loves every bit of his 100% success rate.

Specialising in self-sabotage, Morgan is currently building a platform through which even more people can choose to have instant and lasting change and live the life they desire.

Stay informed of what is happening as well as upcoming visits to various countries around the world in 2012 and beyond. Go to www.epiclivingnow.com, follow him on twitter @EpicLivingNow, and like his page on facebook – Epic Living