“All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them.”
(Galileo Galilee)

As part of re-arranging my home recently I was sorting and moving belongings from one room to another. As some of the belongings had been boxed up years I had completely forgotten the existence of some things.

One of the things I unearthed was a lovely small cloth bag, with my name stitched on the front, full of post it notes. It was from an exercise loosely based on Johari’s window I’d done on a development day that I’d attended several years ago with a team of colleagues.

If you’re not familiar, Johari’s window is a model devised by Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham, published in 1955. Apparently named as a combination of the authors’ first names it’s a model about personal awareness.

To paraphrase their original work, an individual is asked to select words from a list that they feel apply to themselves. The same list is then given to others who know also that individual and they are also asked to select words that they feel best describe that individual.

Once each has 5 or 6 words they feel is a good description the lists are compared. Each word will fall into one of 4 categories:

1. Words selected by both the individual and others as a good description

2. Words selected by others only

3. Words not selected by others or the individual (NB: this doesn’t mean it’s not something that applies to that individual, just that other words were felt to be a stronger description.)

4. Words selected by the individual only.

An analogy that is often used is to imagine that an individual’s behaviours, motives, qualities are being stored in one of 4 rooms inside a building. The rooms are laid out in a square but there are no conventional windows. Instead one of the horizontal walls and one vertical wall is made entirely of glass. This means that 1 room can be seen from anyone looking through the vertical or the horizontal glass walls, 1 room can only be seen by looking through the horizontal wall, 1 room can not be seen by looking in through either glass wall and 1 room can only be seen by looking through the vertical glass wall.

If you imagine that the individual is looking in through the vertical glass wall, and others use the horizontal glass wall then you end up with a diagram that looks like this:

It is possible for things to change “rooms”, for example, something only recognised by others can become to be recognised by the individual as well.

While the exercise we’d done several years ago was a variation on the theme, I still had a bag of feedback/ compliments from colleagues. As I flicked through there were comments in there that I had no recollection of receiving at the time but had come to see for myself in the time that’s passed since.

You may be asking, “how can I use this awareness to make a positive difference when I’m stuck?” Often when someone is stuck for an idea or a new way of behaving etc in a situation they don’t automatically think of some possible solutions because they don’t think that they have a particular quality or behaviour in them.

If you are open to the possibility that sometimes others are in a situation where it’s just easier to see what you haven’t yet, other possibilities can occur.

This week I invite you to play with this for yourself and see what new possibilities occur to you.

1. Notice any compliments and acknowledgements you get this week – even if you think that the other person/people have lost their marbles if they think that’s true!

2. If you’re willing to play further, ask someone you trust to share with you some of what they see as your qualities and/or skills.

3. Notice any answers from 1 or 2 that you don’t believe are true.

4. What if you were wrong? What if this other opinion is right?

Consider a situation where you’re stuck, or would like a new insight. What would you do differently if this other opinion is right?

Bonus

You may be aware of an adoring look that a dog can give its owner or how a small child can idealise a parent. You may want to repeat step 4 using this perspective.

5. You may find that, if you choose to, some of your answers are actually something that you could easily do now.

Have a week full of moving rooms and possibilities

Love

Jen

This was originally posted on www.YourChangingDirection.com