Monthly Archives: July 2011

5 Tips when starting a new job 1

 in Guest Post  tagged believe in self / business coach / business coaching / charging / client / clients / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching courses / coaching psychology / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / executive coach / HR / Karen Wise / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / new job / nlp coach / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / pictures / positive feedback / skill / test

In this week’s guest post Karen Wise shares her expertise as an Organisational Development Consultant and Coaching Psychologist about starting a new job.

5 Tips when starting a new job

By Karen Wise

Starting a new job is never easy. There’s lots of “new” things – new colleagues, new environment, new boss, and generally new ways of doing things.

But how often do you think about the fact that You are the “new” person? Whilst you’re on a massive learning curve about your new organisation and role, the people around you are also learning about who you are, how you think, your behaviours and responses to the every-day things that occur in the office.

It’s just as important that they learn the right things about you as you are inducted into the organisation.

Because of the nature of my work I’m always the “new” person – so I have developed a few techniques to help me. Below are a few tips to think about when you next start a new job and how to make the most of it:

1) Pictures of Family & Friends.

Most workplaces allow you to bring in personal items such as photos of your family, your friends. I often bring in a recent picture that my kids have drawn and I find that it’s a great ice-breaker. Asking someone about these pictures is an easy way to start a conversation with new colleagues and a way to get to know them better beyond the job they do.

2) What are you good at?

It may be that you’ve able to manage difficult conversations with irate customers; or you’re able to touch-type at 90+ wpm. Find opportunities within the first few days of starting your new job to demonstrate this skill.

3) Give positive feedback:

In the first few weeks you’ll come across a lot of new and different things. If you see, hear or learn about something that you find interesting – tell them. If you like the way that someone does something – tell them. People like getting feedback when it’s compliment and it also highlights to them about what you like or enjoy too.

4) “The Test”.

It’s very likely that in the first few days or you’ll be given a particularly important job or task to do. View this as “The Test”. Think carefully about what’s required; ask questions if you need to clarify your understanding of what’s required; put extra effort in to ensure that you do this job to the highest standard possible; and make sure you do it within the required timeframe.

5) Lastly, believe in yourself.

Always remember that you were recruited to the post because your boss believed that you could do the job. You will probably have many doubts within the first few days or weeks about whether or not you’re good enough. When you have these thoughts just stop. And remember. You were recruited because you have the potential to do really well in this job. Believe in yourself.

About the Author/Further Resources

Karen Wise, MCIPD is an Organisational Development Consultant and Coaching Psychologist, with over 12 years’ experience of working in Human Resources roles up to and including Director level within the NHS in the UK. Karen now runs her own consultancy and coaching business, with a particular interest in outplacement coaching. She is also currently undertaking a Masters Degree in Coaching Psychology at the University of East London. You can follow Karen on twitter (karenwise) and read her weekly blog on working in HR in the NHS at www.karenwise.wordpress.com

Are you a coach that cares? 2

 in Coaching  tagged Abraham Maslow / business coach / business coaching / career coaching / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching preparation / coaching prepartaion form / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / confidence / esteem / executive coach / Free resource / hierarchy of needs / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / love and belonging / performance coaching / personal development / physiological / preparation / safety / Self care / self-actualisation

In a previous coaching post I’ve talked about what a coach can do to prepare for a coaching session. Each coach will develop their own answers and preparation for a coaching session.

As I shared in that previous post I look to answer the following before a coaching session “What can I do to ensure that I show up brilliantly?”

I know that doing “my job” as a coach to the best of my abilities and showing up brilliantly is much easier when I have taken care of myself. Today’s coaching post discusses self-care. As you read I invite you to consider how this works with your approach to coaching.

Let’s start by discussing what I mean by self-care. I once did a web search on the term self care and came across the following:

“Self care skills are the needs to manage day to day life. They include washing, dressing, cooking and housekeeping.”

Admittedly this was in reference to caring for someone else, and those things do all fall under self-care, and in this instance I am talking about much more than physiological need.

You may have seen Maslow’s hierarchy of needs usually represented as a pyramid, with the largest and lowest level of needs forming the foundations for the others to build upon. This theory of needs was proposed by psychologist Abraham Maslow in the 1940′s and 50′s.

There is debate about the order that the levels are placed in, or even if there is a hierarchy at all. Rather than get involved in that discussion, I’m going to use it as a catalyst for thought. I’ll invite you to glance at the following synopsis and consider the emotional, physical and even spiritual effects and benefits that taking care of your needs for each category would have.

Physiological – What we, as humans, literally require to survive as a species. Needs that are seen to fall in this category include food, breathing, sleep and sexual activity.

Safety – In today’s society this does not only mean physical safety but can also include employment/financial security, health and security of property etc.

Love and Belonging – This category of “needs” covers aspects of feelings of belonging and building relationships, such as friendship, family and romantic.

Esteem – This heading covers needs such as self-esteem, confidence and respect – both of and by others.

Self-Actualisation – This, Maslow theorised, is the top of the pyramid, and is the section that covers what a persons potential is and fulfilling that potential. Dr Wayne Dyer describes it as:

i) To be free of the good opinion of others,

ii) To do things not simply for the outcome but because it’s the reason you are here on earth.

I include these not because I necessarily agree with every single aspect of Maslow’s theory myself, but to encourage a broader look at the things that when you take care to include in your daily routine you feel more alive and generally have a better day.

I’ll let you decide for yourself if taking care of yourself is something that would benefit your coaching.

If you want to play further with this:

What are the things that when you do them, you have a better day?

What are the things that when you do them you feel more alive and are more productive?

What would the difference be if you deliberately and consciously chose to incorporate more of these into your day?

Tell The Truth Day 1

 in General life improvement

This post was first published in 2009

“Truth is like the sun. You can shut it out for a time, but it ain’t goin’ away.”

(Elvis Presley)

I came across a mention on a calendar earlier that July 7th is Tell the Truth day. A bit of further research has shown that this appears to be the American national Tell the truth day with other countries having similar ideas on different days.

While I’m not in America myself, I did think that it would be an appropriate time to talk about telling yourself the truth.

The origin of the word true is Old English meaning “faithful, trustworthy” with a modern dictionary defining truth as the qualities of being true.

Often people are not being truthful with themselves for one of two reasons:

(i) It’s never occurred to them that they are not being honest, they’re so used to a particular version that they never think to question it. For example: Perhaps they have yet to recognised the progress that they have made in an area so their self-perception is further behind reality.

(ii) A form of self-protection from a potential uncomfortable feeling, often fear. Avoiding having to deal with a situation. As the author Tad Williams so succinctly puts it: “We tell lies when we are afraid … afraid of what we don’t know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger.”

When I sat down to write this I pondered the impact that being truthful, or not, with yourself can have. I came up with several points that I could take each one in turn and have more than enough to create a piece. However, to keep this a reasonable length here is a summary of the main impact telling the truth, or not, with yourself can have.
Confidence
How confidant you are feeling generally, can be affected by how truthful you are being with yourself. In effect not being honest with yourself is pretending to be someone else. So is it any surprise that in that instance many people report that they are scared that someone will find out that you are a fake. One of the common comments when people don’t feel confident is that they don’t feel worthy. Consider the message you are giving by being honest with yourself – that you are trust-worthy of knowing the truth. Being honest with yourself is an important part of being comfortable in your own skin.

“Thinking positive.”

At first glance “thinking positive” can appear to be a fantastic idea and taking time to see opportunities, the things that you are grateful for and putting things into perspective with the rest of your life are all things that can make a positive impact upon how you live your life.

So why am I including this in a piece about honesty? The thing is that the way a lot of people attempt to do this is by having their very own internal thought police. As soon as these internal thought police notice a thought that isn’t positive they’ll chime in with another thought that isn’t positive about you not having a positive thought in the first place – it can become a loop of negative thoughts.

Where honesty comes into effect is that if “being positive” comes up against the truth then it can feel draining as you get a resistance to what is actually going on. I find that being honest with myself about how I am feeling, rather than trying to “fight against it” with positive thinking normally means that I feel better within myself anyway.

Often people are concerned if they are honest with themselves about how they are feeling and not think positive that they will be stuck in a negative experience. I will expand more next week about how you can combine honesty and positive thinking as this is a huge topic. For now, know that when you are honest with yourself and acknowledge how you are feeling does not mean that everything stops. Bear in mind that “this too will pass.” (Phrase taken from a Hebrew fable)
“Success”
Not being honest with yourself about what you actually want can affect how you feel about the projects you are working on. For instance, a lack of motivation and inspiration can mean that you are working for something you think you should have or want rather than what you actually want. I find that one way to easily find motivation is to reconnect with what you honestly want.
Action
Sometimes we are not honest with ourselves because we have become caught up in a story. It never occurs to question if what we are telling ourselves is the truth now. For instance, we may have an explanation (“story”) about an obstacle that is in the way of what we are doing – we can get so used to that being the explanation we don’t become aware if circumstances alter, or check that they were even true in the first place. Hiding from the truth prevents you from being able to take any or the right action.

For instance, Bob thought that the obstacle to him building a successful business was that his skills were not good enough – so he went and got more training, practiced and gained more experience. He kept taking more and more action to increase his skills and neglected that to build a successful business he not only needed to have good skills but at some stage would need to take action to let customers know to come and use these skills! He was so caught up in the “story” that his skills were not good enough he never thought to check where he honestly was.

This week I invite you to be honest with yourself and notice the difference that it makes. This can take a bit of practice, and I advise being kind to yourself in the process. Watch out for getting caught up in familiar stories – double check with asking yourself “is it true?” And “can you absolutely know that it is true?” Allow yourself to be open to the possibility that the truth is not what you expect 🙂

You don’t have to share what you are being honest about unless you want to, just question for yourself how truthful you are being.

Have a week full of truth, as Shakespeare said “This above all; to thine own self be true”

Love

Jen

This was originally posted on www.YourChangingDirection.com