This was originally posted on www.YourChangingDirection.com at a time I was doing a project that involved working with job seekers.

“Out of our beliefs are born deeds: out of our deeds we form habits; out of our habits grows our character; and on our character we build our destiny.”
(Henry Hancock)

I was preparing for the first teleclass in the Confidence for Job Seekers program that’s happening later today. The topic is Dealing with Interview Nerves and I’ve come across some interesting comments and beliefs about interview nerves. These things can easily get in peoples way of doing their best.

This is not something confined to the subject of being nervous at interviews. I often find that what is keeping someone stuck in a situation or from taking action is a unrecognised belief.

Sometimes it is a belief that its not possible to do anything different, maybe its a belief about what it will mean about you if a course of action was/wasn’t taken. Other times it concerns the consequences of what may happen.

Lets take interview nerves as an example, the three most common comments/beliefs I come across are:
“Everyone suffers from interview nerves”
“Nerves mean I care about getting the job”
and
“Nerves give me the adrenalin I need to do a good performance.”

“Everyone suffers from interview nerves” is a demonstration of a belief that it can’t be any other way – For the record I’d just like to add, having been involved in recruitment, that everyone does NOT suffer from interview nerves.

“Nerves mean I care about getting the job” is an example of what it means to be nervous. A reverse form of this belief is that not being nervous means I don’t care about getting the job.

I’d like to point out that, again, it is possible to care about getting a job without being nervous.

“Nerves give me the adrenalin I need to do a good performance.” is an example of a belief about the consequences, that its needed to give a good performance.

The first thing I’ll say is if any of the above work successfully for you and you’re happy with it then that is the important bit. Beyonce Knowles, for example, says “I get nervous when I don’t get nervous. If I’m nervous I know I’m going to have a good show.” (Which is also another example about a belief about consequences)

If you have a situation where you want to make a change, I invite you to play with the following:

1. Pick something that you want to change, something you have yet to take action on or maybe a goal you want to work towards.

In the following for clarity I’m going to keep using the example of wanting to not feel nervous at job interviews. Personalise the following instructions and questions by substitute your own answer to the point 1.

2. Ask yourself the following and pay attention to the response you get – Is it a strong yes, a no or a maybe?

Is it OK, not to feel nervous at job interviews?

(Your personalised form of this question will be Is it OK to ……. ?)

The following will be particularly useful if, in question 2 above, you have got a maybe or a no:

3. What would happen if you didn’t feel nervous at job interviews?

4. What would happen if you did feel nervous at job interviews?

5. What wouldn’t happen if you didn’t feel nervous at job interviews?

6. What wouldn’t happen if you did feel nervous at job interviews?

7. What, if anything, does it mean about you to feel nervous at job interviews

8. What, if anything, does it mean about you not to feel nervous at job interviews

Often when people become aware of any beliefs that were holding them back, it allows you to challenge them. It also lets you take action and do something different.

Feel free to share any beliefs that are holding you back. Particularly if you want some ideas of what action to take next.

Have a lovely week

love

Jen