technique

Asking difficult coaching questions

 in Coaching  tagged asking questions / coaching / coaching questions / questions / technique

Asking Difficult Coaching Questions

by Jen Waller

The image that accompanies the asking difficult coaching questions post is a 3D white modeling clay type human figure laid on the floor at an angle - their head top rightt, feet bottom left. They are holding a big red question mark along their body starting around the mid thigh point, up along their body and obscuring much of their head.

Today’s post is in response to a question I was asked. As a coach have you ever wanted to ask a client a difficult question? Did you actually ask the question or did you back away and ask something else instead?

I’m not trying to say that in every situation that the difficult question must be asked, I think a coaching conversation is far more nuanced than such a generalised rule would imply. This post is about looking at providing the option if you find you’re wondering about asking a difficult question.

So let’s define what I mean by a difficult or hard question. In reality exactly the same question may seem a difficult question for one coach to ask and another wouldn’t even give it a second thought.

Personally I’ve found that one of two things is going on if I, or another coach is thinking that a potential question is hard or difficult to ask.

1) There’s some concern there about what the client will think of the coach if that question is asked.

2) There’s something about the question that you want to ask that you think will potentially provoke an “ouch” reaction from your client.

The following are my thoughts and approach about each of those scenarios plus some suggestions about what you can do if you find yourself in either. I invite you to consider your thoughts around your approach.

What will the client think of me if I ask that question?

I think many coaches experience this particularly when they are first learning coaching skills and again when they start charging for their services. It’s not at all compulsory but equally it’s not uncommon.

If your only concern is about what your client will think if you ask that hard question, are you really serving your client by not asking it? After all, that coaching conversation is not about you.

All of which you may agree with in theory but what do you do if you still find your attention wandering in the middle of a session?

Before I share some more on the topic, what would you say to a client who had just said exactly the same in an actual coaching session? Sometimes as coaches we have a “toolbox” or understanding that we forget to make use of because we’re so caught up in the moment and our own thinking.

If nothing comes to mind about what you suggest, here are some ways I and other coaches try. You could notice what you are doing, “beat yourself up” and criticise yourself as a bad coach. Or you could just congratulate yourself for noticing and simply bring your focus back to the coaching conversation and your client. 😉

Often just noticing and bringing your focus back is normally sufficient. If that isn’t working you may like to use one of the many techniques to quiet that “inner critic”. You could mentally tell it “not now, I’m working”, tell it to go away in no uncertain terms or imagine it’s something that is being whispered from a very long way away.

I’ve also seen the external reminders work placed somewhere saying coaching is about your client not you. Maybe it’s a post it note that just says, “It’s not about [your own name]”, or perhaps it’s something else that will act as a prompt when you are actually coaching.

What else occurs to you?

There’s something about the question that you want to ask that you think will potentially provoke an “ouch” reaction from your client.

You may have formed this opinion based on what you already know about your client. It may be you are applying your own beliefs and values and decided that anyone would respond with an “ouch”.

This does not mean that the question you have in mind is not a good one. It could be just the one that is going to make all the difference to your client. You may want to consider how you present the question.

Your style may naturally be blunt, so it’s quite possible that your client already expects you to ask the hard questions without a moment’s hesitation. If that’s the case you’ve probably not got this far reading this post because it’s not something you consider. However, you setting up the expectations that this may happen before you’ve even started coaching together can be a great help.

If this does not suit your style, and I’m not saying it’s right or wrong – just one approach, here are some other suggestions:

• Be honest. Tell them there are several questions you could ask at this stage and how direct would they like you to be? This allows your client to indicate to you how they’d like you to proceed.

Some will give you full permission to just “go for it”, others will make it clear that blunt is not what they want to hear right now.

• Tell your client that you have a question that you are aware may appear to be harsh, it’s certainly not what you intend it to be but you’re wondering if you should ask it.

Notice their response. They are likely to be curious and it’s quite possible that they will give you permission to ask that question. I would suggest that you take your cue from your client and whilst a “no” may not result in you asking your initial question it could open up another line of questions exploring fears etc. (Again, said in the context of a possible avenue to explore, not to be taken as a rule to be used in every scenario)

• Get their permission to ask. This may take the form of one of the above or may just be as simple as “Can I ask you a question?”

Once someone has given you permission to ask a question they are far more likely to answer.

• Asking a question out right can, to some clients in some situations, appear confrontational. This does not necessarily result in a state that you want your client to be in – aggressive or defensive is often not conducive to your client providing an honest answer.

One way you can do this is to put the “question” out there as a thought or something that you were wondering. “I was just wondering …” (delivered in a non-aggressive manner) is a much more gentle way of asking the question.

You may also introduce it as “I’m curious …”

The extent that this point is relevant to you will depend upon your natural style and potentially even the clients you are working with at the time.

• There may also be a way that you can find the same information, or guide the client to the same conclusion/realisation by using much more gentle language. It may take more questions but if that’s what it takes at that time with that particular client, that’s what it takes!

• Use the hypothetical to introduce possibility. “What if …” is one question that will softly get a client to consider a question that they may automatically reject without those two words, “what if”, at the start.

Finally, a question is just a question. Sure there may be ways and methods that you use to make it easier for a client to hear (or for you to ask), but it’s still just a question.

What other ways do you use to ask “hard” questions?
Have you got anything you want to say on the topic?
I invite you to leave your views below and click submit comment.

Walking & Talking in Nature

 in quote  tagged Anna-Marie Watson / coaching / neuro-science / outdoors / performance / technique

 In today’s guest post performance coach Anna-Marie Watson shares some of her experience and knowledge.

Walking & Talking in Nature*

By Anna-Marie Watson

"Walking & Talking in Nature" by Anna-Marie Watson

Do the following questions strike a chord for your clients or maybe just you?

Working 11, 12, 13 or more hours a day cooped up inside and permanently attached to a computer?

Struggling to hit 10,000 daily steps to satisfy the FitBit?

Mentally fatigued juggling 101 dead lines and demanding clients who add to a never-ending “to-do” list that regularly spirals out of control?

Was that a resounding “Yes!”; grudging “Maybe”, niggling “Sometimes” or resolute “No”?

For most of us who fall in the “Yes”, “Maybe” or even “Sometimes” bracket, the perfect yet often overlooked antidote to modern life is nature.

The simple act of stepping beyond the four walls of our work spaces and spending time in the natural environment improves creativity and productivity, reduces stress, aids mental clarity and encourages a wider appreciation of different perspectives. Our human brain with unique cognitive skills was developed over hundreds of years in the presence of permanent movement outdoors. From an evolutionary perspective our bodies are designed to walk up to 12 miles per day, unlike our current obesio-genic environment where on average we remain stationary for over 8 hours (Medina, 2014). Taking our clients outside for coaching sessions creates a physical shift from immobile to active and provides natural inspiration to stimulate cognitive thought to support our genetic heritage.

Neurons image

Neurons image

Just take a moment to appreciate your brain with its approximate eighty-five billion neurons that constantly wire, fire, re-wire and re-fire to process and transmit information. This 1.4 kg tofu-like mass weighs a mere fraction of our total body weight yet devours over 20% of our daily energy needs to maintain essential chemical and electrical processes way beyond the scale of any other human organ. The amount of energy needed on a daily, weekly, monthly and yearly basis that’s necessary to navigate a myriad of tasks is simply mind-boggling.

The physical, biological and chemical interactions to process our thoughts, make decisions, silence our internal critic, organise daily tasks, unconsciously regulate the immune, cardiovascular, muscular, skeletal, endocrine, digestive, lymphatic, nervous, respiratory and reproductive systems, and then remember to email our accountant the end of year figures, are endless. Ultimately the brain, or more specifically the prefrontal cortex, like any other muscle becomes fatigued and needs time out to rest, relax and recover then return fully recharged with resilience boosted to increase productivity and reach optimum performance.

The routine dual attack and constant over stimulation from external sources and internal rhetoric can be turned on its head by stepping outside into nature*, taking a deep breathe, placing one foot in front of another, stilling the mind and living in the present moment. These recommendations from the global scientific community are reflected in British government policy with the advice to move from a sedentary position every thirty minutes and engage in a minimum of 150 minutes of 3 lots of 20-30 minutes of aerobic exercise sessions per week (Public Health England, 2014).

From a coaching perspective the combination of physical movement, different environment and mental exploration leaves the client feeling refreshed, restored and with improved mental performance. Walking & Talking coaching sessions inevitably facilitate the creation of different states, energy and perspectives, which in turn influences subsequent outcomes and results compared to a traditional static conversation. Next time you’re scheduling a client coaching session cancel the conference room or confines of a café and opt for an urban venture outside the four walls hemming you in to reap physical and mental rewards.

I’ll conclude with the succinct and simple words of Elizabeth Hurley “spending time outdoors makes you feel great”.

Note*: Nature literally exists on our doorsteps and is best accessed on two feet.

References

Medina, J. (2014). Brain Rules. Pear Press, USA.

Public Health England. (2014). Everybody Active, Every Day – An evidence-based approach to physical activity click here to read Accessed 6 Sep 16.

Williams, F. (2016). This is Your Brain on Nature. http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/2016/01/call-to-wild-text Accessed 4 Sep 2016.

About Anna-Marie Watson

Anna-Marie WatsonAnna-Marie is a performance coach who draws from NLP, sports psychology, neuroscience, positive psychology and mindfulness theory to craft industrious and dynamic coaching partnerships with clients who yearn for more and desire balance within their life. Anna-Marie’s specialty is “walking & talking” where the Great Outdoors inspires facilitates deep level insights, encourages different perspectives and ultimately optimises performance. She integrates Analytic-Network (http://www.analyticnetwork.com) and mBraining (http://www.mbraining.com) methodologies to unlock and unleash transformational change.

Anna-Marie has been at the forefront of leadership and personal development for over 16 years working with high performing individuals and teams across three continents. Anna-Marie’s core values of growth, balance and energy are reflected in her business Reach for More. where improving yourself is an all round experience.

Reach For MoreFor more information on Anna-Marie’s performance coaching services, visit www.rfmcoaching.com

 

Connect with Anna-Marie on Social Media

Twitter: https://twitter.com/RFMCoaching

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RFMCoaching/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/awatson4

Google+: https://www.google.com/+AnnaMarieWatson

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rfmcoaching/

Coaching “By the Book”?

 in Guest Post  tagged clients / coaching / coaching style / Jeannette Attryde / technique

In today’s guest post coach Jeannette Attryde shares an insight about coaching.

Coaching “By the Book”?

By Jeannette Attryde

"Coaching 'By the Book?'" By Jeannette Attryde

So much has been written about coaching. In fact, I did a search on Amazon.co.uk for books on coaching and it returned 43,367 results. If you narrow the search to just paperback books (to remove the duplication of multiple versions in hardback and Kindle) it still gives 26,786 results. So when you start coaching and you want to try and make sure you are doing it “by the book”, which book should you be doing it by?

I have a huge hang up about making sure I do things “right”. So when I first decided to start up my coaching business I felt I needed to know what the “right” way of coaching was. The fact that I had been successfully coaching people for over 20 years, with over 18 years of that having coaching as part of my job description too, almost fell by the wayside. In my head, there was some definition, or some model, out there which was “the” way to coach somebody and to be a “proper” coach I needed to learn and practice this way.

Having already read widely on the subject of coaching I already knew that there were multiple models out there but my obsession with “right” meant I was still looking for validation of a specific path to being a “proper” coach. My next decision was to look for an accredited coaching course because if it’s accredited it must be “right”, right?

It was on that course that the scales fell from my eyes. In essence, the only “right” is what works for the person you are coaching. The “right” I had been searching for was the wrong one. I had been looking for a process, a tool or methodology. What I needed to be looking for was an understanding.

The understanding and recognition of when the person you are coaching needs to be challenged, or reassured, or probed, or encouraged to reflect. Everything about coaching is about the person you are coaching and the outcomes they are looking for. How you achieve that will be different for each person because each person is different. Not only is each person you coach different but the relationship, the dynamic, between you and the person you are coaching will be different to the relationship between them and a different coach. Even if the same tools and techniques are used, you each bring something unique to the conversation and you will have a unique way of reaching the desired outcome.

Once I surrendered myself to this truth, I felt authentic again in my coaching. The coaching I had done throughout my career before starting my business, had been organic. It had been about me trying to find the best way possible to help a person achieve a goal. And at its heart that is what my coaching will always be. So whilst I will continue to read widely on the subject I have decided that the “right” way won’t be in any of the books I read, it will be a book I write with every coaching session I hold and every outcome my clients achieve.

About Jeannette Attryde

Jeannette AttrydeJeannette Attryde runs Different Perspectives, Coaching and Consultancy. She has over 18 years’ experience in leading and managing teams of varying sizes in a range of organisations including Blue Chip Financial Services companies. She specialising in Leadership and Management coaching, helping people to unlock their leadership potential. With her help, clients identify and implement action plans to overcome their challenges and be a more effective leader of a motivated, high performing team. Sessions are conducted face to face, by phone/Skype or online messenger.

Jeannette loves connecting with people and can be reached in the various ways below

Website – www.different-perspectives.co.uk

Twitter – @DP_Jeannette

Facebook – www.facebook.com/differentperspectivesuk

LinkedIn – www.linkedin.com/company/different-perspectives

 

 

3 Common Coaching Traps To Avoid

 in Guest Post  tagged coaches / coaching / intervention / leadership / questions / success / Suzi McAlpine / technique

In this weeks guest post leadership development coach Suzi McAlpine shares some of her expertise and experience.

3 Common Coaching Traps To Avoid

By Suzi McAlpine

"3 Common Coaching Traps To Avoid" by Suzi McAlpine

Recently I was facilitating a workshop for an organisation that wanted its leadership team to become better coaches. And just FYI, big kudos to that company, for recognising the importance of developing coaching skills in their leaders.

But back to the workshop. As the day progressed, I noticed a common theme emerging. Cue, lightbulb moment…

The traps learner coaches fall into are the same traps I can fall into – even as an experienced coach.

Interestingly, when I spoke to other leadership coaches about it, they agreed to suffering from the same afflictions.

Whether you’re new to this coaching lark or a seasoned pro, here are 3 common coaching traps to avoid (and their antidotes):-

1. Over Intervention Syndrome (or OIS, as I’ve coined it). Symptoms include firing too many questions to your coaching client in machine gun-like fashion, resulting in them feeling like they are in a job interview (not a coaching session); an overwhelming urge to give advice or tell them what to do; and feeling uncomfortable about silent pauses in sessions.

Antidote: Recognise what beauty and power there is in silence. Your role as a coach is to hold a trusted and safe space for your client to explore their professional issues.

Some of the best coaching interventions I’ve ever had were the ones I never made.

Tuning into their body language can provide powerful cues. Notice when people are working it out on their own and let the magic of silence ‘do its thang’.

2. Fix it Funk. If you’re a perfectionist, this is one trap you should be extra careful of.

Symptoms include, a frustration they (and you) are not making progress on the issue quickly enough; a desire to move ahead and make progress, despite your coachee’s stance; and your ego getting tied up with the “right” outcome.

Antidote: My mentor, Anouk Grave, nailed it when she said to “work with what is, not what we would like it be.”

There’s a skill in meeting your coachee where they are now, not where you both want them to be.

The irony is, when I have deliberately been patient with the slow pace of progress, it has sped up! As we all know, deep change can be difficult. I’m talkin’ qualifying for the Olympics kinda difficult. Naming what you are noticing about the pace of change, in an honest and compassionate way, might be a good idea at times – but forcing people to change when they are not ready is usually counterproductive.

If you have Fix it Funk, your own coaching supervision could be a good idea.

3. Too Nice Nancy. Symptoms of this affliction? A conscious or unconscious desire to be liked…at all costs. Too Nice Nancy will miss opportunities to honestly challenge people, fail to raise awareness in her peeps and generally hold back communication that needs to happen.

Antidote: Think about it. Some of the most powerful feedback you’ve ever received was probably someone who gave you an honest truth, raised awareness to a blind spot, or challenged you in a compassionate and skilled way.

Like anything, if you’re experiencing resistance to giving challenging feedback, it probably has more to do with your own blocks.

Once again, that’s your cue to get some coaching. Ask yourself, am I challenging this person enough? Are there patterns in their behaviour I am noticing, but not naming? What is getting in the way of me raising them?

If you’re a leadership coach experiencing common themes emerging in your work, I’d love to hear from you. What ‘coaching traps’ can you add to the list above? And, what antidotes do you suggest?

About Suzi McAlpine 

Suzi McAlpineSuzi McAlpine is a leadership development coach and author of internationally acclaimed leadership blog, The Leader’s Digest. Suzi works alongside CEOs and senior executives in organisations throughout New Zealand to ignite better leadership. The services she provides include one-on-one coaching, peer coaching, workshop facilitation and keynote speaking.

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Connect with Suzi:

Twitter: @suzimcalpine

Facebook: www.facebook.com/theleadersdigest

LinkedIn: https://nz.linkedin.com/in/suzimcalpine

Instagram: @theleadersdigest

Blog: www.theleadersdigest.me

 

 

Use visualization techniques and the desired results will come

 in Guest Post  tagged behavior / goal / LivingMyDream / Stacey van Gogh / technique / visualization

In today’s guest post Stacey van Gogh shares some of her personal experience and expertise:

Use visualization techniques and the desired results will come

By Stacey van Gogh

"Use visualization techniques and the desired results will come" by Stacey van Gogh

My name is Stacey van Gogh and for almost 20 years of my life now I have been a personal fitness trainer and a marathon coach.

I have spent years reading about diet, nutrition, conditioning, strength training – you name it. But it wasn’t until a life changing event hit me, before I made a change for the better.

My divorce was the catalyst for delving into the power of “creative visualization”, which basically is all about intending the desired result of what you want. I started to learn about how positive mental attitude plays a large role in the achievement of a goal.

I read books on visualization like Jack Canfield’s The Success Principles and Rhonda Byrne’s The Secret, and started using a vision board, while inspiring and coaching clients to do the same.

And before I knew it, my clients started to get results faster, I started to get more business (even though the economy was in a downturn), and this whole concept of visualization had trickled down to affect other parts of my life in positive ways.

So, what exactly is visualization and how is it done? How can you use this with clients to increase efficiency and effectiveness in goal seeking behavior? And why will this help other areas of your own life simultaneously? Check it out:

What is visualization and how is it done?

  1. Visualization (creative visualization) is based on the idea of starting with ‘the end result in mind’ and imagining your desired result before even beginning to take action.
  2. Vividly imagine and intend exactly what you are seeking, and how it will feel to have this. Create a vision board by posting pictures of your dreams alongside quotes and affirmations; you can use any board, for example, a cork or poster board.
  3. Live as if every day. Act as if you are already there. You control your actions. The rest will fall into place; just have faith, and do your part to make your dreams come true. This way you will be focused, aware, motivated and empowered to take action to achieve your dreams every day.
  4. Use affirmations and vision charms as a reminder in order to notice more day to day queues that will lead you to your goal.

How can we use this with clients to increase efficiency and effectiveness in goal seeking behavior?

  1. Advocate for the creation of a vision board; you can get pictures out of magazines or buy vision board starter kits online
  2. Review your client’s vision board together and ask questions. Talk through the various goals. Why do you want this? How will this make you feel? That way you understand what your client is seeking and how to best motivate them.
  3. Have your clients allow their minds to conceptualize how it will feel to actually have achieved these goals. Once you feel the emotions linked to these desires, you will have a more focused and intentional client to work with.
  4. Advocate for your clients to literally put visual reminders in their environment to maintain focus on the desired results. Use notes, quotes and affirmations. Next to vision boards you can use vision charms, so they always have it with them.

How can you benefit from it?

  1. Everything you do with your clients will also have a positive effect on your own life as well. By teaching it, you are doing it implicitly! I speak from experience here, because nothing has had a more positive effect on my life, ever.
  2. You can gain even more trust from your clients which will helps your advice and teachings to have greater influence on clients’ productivity. This can become even more effective with your results as a coach and attract even more business through referrals (this happened to me).

I am speaking from experience on all of the above. I have created the life of my dreams using creative visualization and I have helped many of my clients to finish marathons, lose weight, increase strength and to just feel better overall.

It wasn’t easy for me at first, but when I mastered visualization and shared it in my life (with my clients, and even friends and family), I saw amazing results for myself and for my clients.

That is why I recently started LivingMyDream, a new business with all kind of tools to help make visualization more accessible for people to benefit from. Everybody is entitled to the life they dream of and we can help you!

I would absoStacey van Goghlutely suggest you making a vision board, reading books like The Success Principles by Jack Canfield, The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, and using LivingMyDream’s Vision Charms to stay focused on your desired results, and sharing all of these great tools with your clients.

Read my blogs on www.livingmydream.com for many more tips. Have a positive day!

About Stacey van Gogh’s LivingMyDream

LivingMyDream logo

“LivingMyDream supports you on the path to living the life of your dreams! We aim to help you live your dreams in balance, and that means supporting you in all areas of your life: mind, body, soul, love and home.

LivingMyDream JewelryOur Sterling silver Vision Charms, Vision Board Kits, and other products encourage you to visualize the desired end result in various aspects of your life. When constantly around you they are reminders for you to stay focused, positive and confident.

Whether you want to buy a new house, change your career, find your soul mate, lose weight or enjoy a special vacation, we have the Vision Charms and Vision Board kits for you to get started.

Stay in touch with LivingMyDream for helpful resources as well. Our blog and social media posts are aimed at supporting you with guidance as you take steps to achieve your goals.

At LivingMyDream, we know that all of your dreams can come true, even sooner than you think …”

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The two-minute confidence boost

 in Guest Post  tagged Amy Cuddy / Brian Lumsdon / business coach / business coaching / charging / client / clients / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / confidence / executive coach / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / nlp coach / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / technique / TwentyOne Leadership

Coach and leadership trainer Brian Lumsdon shares some of his experience, knowledge and a technique in today’s guest post.

"The two-minute confidence boost" A guest post by Brian Lumsdon

The two-minute confidence boost

By Brian Lumsdon

A few years ago I was blessed to study performance coaching with a brilliant trainer who I still model to this day and there was one aspect of his approach I enjoyed above everything else. On many occasions, after we covered a new topic thoroughly, he would smile wryly and say “Or you could just do this” and provide the group with a wonderfully skillful shortcut or fast-track to achieve the same outcome.

I’m always on the look out for similar approaches and so I was excited to discover Amy Cuddy’s insightful TED talk Your body language shapes who you are. This talk is in the top 30 most viewed Ted talks and Cuddy is listed number 1 in Time magazine’s Game Changers series.

In this talk Amy Cuddy shares some of her Harvard research where she shows how we can increase our levels of confidence significantly by simply adopting a power pose for just two minutes.

Swabs are taken before and after participants adopt their favourite power pose and analysis demonstrates an increase in levels of testosterone as a result. There is also a decrease in levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) and participants demonstrated higher levels of optimism in a subsequent games of chance.

Videos of participants were then shown to professional recruiters, who highlighted those who had adopted the two-minute power pose as more confident and credible candidates. So following this process also influences the perception other people have of us.

Over the last few weeks I have adapted my own power pose, a combination of two well known sports stars and myself from a specific event where I felt particularly confident. I have also added a phrase I find particularly resourceful that I will repeat during these day minutes.

After practising every day and becoming comfortable with recreating a state of confidence, I now use this technique whenever I feel the additional boost of confidence will be really useful.

There are still times in my work with successful leaders and managers when I’m surprised by some revealing they are not be as confident as they may first appear. And so during our work together achieving their goals I will often find myself saying “And you can also do this!”

About the Author/Further Resources

Brian Lumsdon is a leadership trainer and coach with TwentyOne Leadership and has created lasting change in diverse organisations over the last 15 years.

Brian specialises in creating high-performing coaching cultures and helping leaders connect employees to their vision and values. You can contact Brian via e-mail (br***@*****************ip.com) or connect via LinkedIn.

 

The Power of Using Timelines

 in Guest Post  tagged business coach / business coaching / charging / client / clients / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / executive coach / future / hypnotherapy / Lawrence Michaels / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / NLP / nlp coach / past / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / present / technique / timeline

Lawrence Michaels shares a technique in today’s guest post:

the power of using timelines

The Power of Using Timelines

by Lawrence Michaels

I first came across using a timeline as a form of therapeutic and coaching intervention when I studied my NLP practitioner course a number of years ago. Since my training as a Hypnotherapist I frequently use the timeline approach with my clients, both as a powerful way of resolving past issues which are impacting on their life today and to re-access and utilise past or current resources and strengths, to help them in the present and future.

To be clear at this point I haven’t had any training in the similar Timeline Therapy approach and so am writing based on my own experience of using timelines in the context of NLP and Hypnotherapy.

The Timeline in a nutshell

So, for me, using a timeline in it’s simplest form means asking a client to establish a metaphorical line that represents their past, present and future, which they create in their mind, typically when in a trance state. This means I can easily guide them to revisit different times in their past and to create a preferred future scenario. What I find particularly effective when using this approach is the combination of disassociation and association when dipping in to different events and times in their life, so they see and experience these situations from different perspectives. Also the actual disassociation created by the timeline itself is particularly helpful when revisiting traumatic past events.

Preparation

Typically before using a timeline technique with a client I already have a good idea of how I am going to use it to help them, either by knowing which past events need to be resolved or which resources I want to access. However the beauty of this approach is that if the client is stuck, or just not able to identify or discuss specific areas of their life with me, we can wait until we use the timeline to help them do that, without the client needing to disclose any detail.

Anchoring the client

So I start by anchoring the client in a safe, secure and comfortable place using lots of sensory focus so they create this special place in their mind, as a place to go to at any point in our work together. This is of course a form of hypnotic induction, bringing a light trance state. This anchor is helpful both as a positive resourceful state they can easily re-access and also to use as a transition between visiting different points on their timeline.

Working on the Timeline

As far as the actual work on the timeline; My role is to guide them along their timeline, visiting different events and experiences where I can then utilise the relevant intervention technique or approach. This includes allowing the client in their adult state to pass on guidance and support and wisdom to their younger selves, before allowing them to experience an old event in a different way with these new resources in place. By setting up a simple hand signal the client is also able to communicate to me without breaking their trance state and let me know how they are doing. I always then have the option of taking them back to their comfortable place should it be needed. It’s so satisfying to utilse the clients resources and strengths and work with their creativity so that together we come up with some really helpful solutions. It is also a chance for the client to see their past in a new light and recognise the positive intentions that they and others had, that may not have been apparent before.

Finally I future pace the client and allow them to have a vivid positive experience of themselves in a situation that previously would have had negative past associations. Of course being creative and respectful with how to use the clients own resources and life experience is important, and quite often new ways of working come up as we are using this timeline approach that are tailored to them.

About the author

After his interest in NLP was sparked from taking a workshop in 2004, Lawrence passed his NLP Practitioner and then in 2008 completed his Diploma in Hypnotherapy which included the Human Givens Psychotherapy approach. Based in Brighton UK Lawrence now specialises in helping clients with anxiety related concerns as well as seeing clients in other areas such as weight loss and Sports Performance. His website and blog is www.lawrencemichaels.co.uk and he can also be contacted there. He is also on Twitter (https://twitter.com/LawrenceHypno) and Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/lawrencemichaelshypnotherapy) too.