Should You Coach Clients Who Are Seriously Stressed? 1
Coach Doctor Jane P Lewis shares some thoughts and experience in today’s guest post about stress.
Should You Coach Clients Who Are Seriously Stressed?
A couple of weeks ago I ran a session on ‘Coaching The Stressed’ at the EMCC conference in Bilbao. It was gratifyingly well-attended due to a cancellation elsewhere, and it was so interesting to hear from the many different nationalities in the room
The Big Questions
The big questions that came up were: ‘when do you refer out?’ and, ‘can you really coach someone who has reached the burn out phase?’ (See the Stress Curve diagram below).
Opinions varied, and the divisions were almost based on national lines. There was a strong feeling among the Spanish and Portuguese delegates that you should not coach anyone whose performance is suffering due to obvious stress – even it they aren’t actually in the ‘burn out stage’. You should refer them for medical help.
The Brits, or at least people based in Britain, drew attention to the fact that you can sometimes wait a long time for counselling or similar help from the NHS. In the short term, a coach may be the only support a stressed individual has access to.
The Psychological Contract Is Broken
There was general agreement across the group that this is a growing issue across Europe. The economic situation in countries such as Greece and Portugal, not to mention UK, is bringing dramatically increased levels of stress as organisations cut staff and incomes no longer keep pace with inflation. As Prof. Cary Cooper would say, ‘the psychological contract is broken’.
Knowing When To Stop
For those of us who have been trained to probe and challenge with our coaching, one of the issues is knowing when to stop. I’ve been coaching now for 15 years, and went through my own stress nightmare before that, so I have some awareness. In the last year or two I have occasionally been stunned by the behaviour of coaches who don’t seem to know when to let up.
Coaches who, even when you tell them you can’t take any more, ask you why you are making excuses, or tell you to immerse yourself in the feeling.
Of course, part of the problem lies in the fact that the client may not know they are suffering from stress, or may not feel able to admit it. It might seem unlikely, but dis-stress is still, in some organisations, not tolerated. I have had clients who believe they must maintain a stiff upper lip or that they ‘can’t complain’ or who are so trapped in the headlights of despair that they don’t know where to turn.
The Answer?
The Bilbao group agreed that it was critical for the coach to know the boundaries of their own competence, and to understand that excessive stress can become a mental health issue. Many in the group felt the coach potentially had a role as a silent, listening, supportive, presence. That may have been influenced by the fact that the talk immediately prior to this was give by Nancy Kline, of ‘Time To Think’ fame!
We also touched on the question of whether the coach has a responsibility to contact HR if they feel that a client is potentially vulnerable. But as the HR man in the room pointed out, HR staff may not know what to do either.
Supervision can always help in such situations, but I do wonder if coach training takes sufficient account of this. On the trainings I have been on, the question of mental health issues has not been dealt with satisfactorily. It’s all very well to tell a coach to know the boundaries of their competence, but what happens when the coach doesn’t have the skills to recognise that coaching is not the appropriate intervention?
I’d love to hear your views. Should you coach someone who is clearly at the point of burn out? Is it an appropriate intervention? And at what point DO you stop?
About the author
Dr Jane Lewis has been coaching since 1998, following outplacement coaching which helped her determine what she really wanted to do when she grew up. She specialises in helping women sort out their careers – whether they are returning from a career break, feeling lost, or simply want a new job. She also works as an HR consultant and trainer.
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Stress is Murder image © Chrisharvey | Stock Free Images & Dreamstime Stock Photos
Sara is a Brighton based hypnotherapist & psychotherapist who provides problem-free therapy which connects people with their inner resources and goes deep into the unconscious mind to create powerful change. Sessions are available on a one to one basis or through Skype.