Coaching Quote of the Day 4th November 2014
“Most people spend more time and energy going around problems than in trying to solve them.”
(Henry Ford)
solutions
Coaching Quote of the Day 26th September 2012
“The solutions to outwardly complex problems created by misguided thoughts will not arise from complicated analytical theory, but will emerge as an insight, wrapped in a blanket of simplicity.”
(Sydney Banks)
Coaching Quote of the Day 3rd September 2012
Identify your problems but give your power and energy to solutions
(Tony Robbins)
Inspire Confidence through Simplicity 2
In this weeks guest post, Jonathan Lamptey shares his expertise about how coaches can inspire confidence.
Inspire Confidence through Simplicity
by Jonathan Lamptey
As a reader of this blog, you will agree that forward thinking Coaches provide a holistic approach to their clients, considering the circumstances of the individual in order to correctly address the client in the appropriate context.
As Coaches we provide solutions for the problems, wants and desires of our clients, using our expertise to successfully navigate our clients through a period of personal development in order to arrive at their goal. As experts, we have in depth knowledge and expertise of a particular area; this is often accompanied by a glossary of technically specific language. Too frequently, Coaches hide behind jargon as a means of demonstrating their credibility to an audience that is unfamiliar with the terms being used.
One of the key skills in being a Coach is the ability to make the difficult look simple and the challenging look effortless. This comes from years of practice and experience which to a spectator may look like child’s play. Consider a concert pianist, a skilled craftsman, a trained athlete, their abilities seem effortless. The same can be said of their Coach.
This is an attribute that I have observed in all the great Coaches that I have had the privilege to work with. They don’t hide behind acronyms; they use simple language to deliver their message effectively. The skill lies in reassuring the client not how difficult the task is, but to explain how easy it is going to be now that they have the support of a passionate, enthusiastic and talented Coach.
The excessive use of technical language damages the client relationship in a couple of ways:
Alienation:
The Coach creates an additional barrier between the client and their desired outcome. The client already knows that they need assistance because they have hired a Coach. This may reinforce existing anxieties and undermine their confidence. This does not help the client.
Insecurity:
This behaviour often reveals a desire to convince the client that as Coaches we possess the skills that we claim we have by highlighting to the client what they do not know. This is not the behaviour of a confident and competent Coach.
Here are some tips to help you to keep things simple for your clients:
Empathise:
The client may be anxious and as such is looking for inspiration and guidance; try to understand how they are feeling and use this to inform the tone of the dialogue.
Avoid jargon:
Use basic principles as a starting point for any explanation of complex terms, this will reduce potential misunderstandings and instil confidence. Think of some of the technical words you use, can they be adequately replaced with plain English? If so, use everyday language until the client’s knowledge increases.
Place their needs first: Consider what they want to achieve and help them to achieve this to the best of your ability, our role must also be to reassure and guide, this can be achieved by explaining things simply.
A true teacher works towards their own redundancy and to some extent this is applicable here. Use simplicity to allow you to demonstrate your expertise and this will set you on the path to being a great Coach.
About the author
Jonathan is a chartered accountant, consultant and financial skills trainer with 15 years of operational experience with companies including The Walt Disney Company, Channel 4, Sky and the Telegraph.
His experience of working in dynamic organisations has created interesting opportunities to develop resourceful methods for presenting financial information to different audiences with varying requirements; from Board Directors to new starters.
Jonathan seeks to demystify Finance and Accounting in order to help people move beyond the numbers and increase their productivity. This has inspired an interest in academic research. Jonathan’s research interests include social entrepreneurship and workplace diversity and he is currently conducting research as part of a PhD at the London School of Economics.
His distinctive background allows him to combine rigorous academic research with commercial experience to provide a unique and refreshing approach to business problems.
Visit Jonathan’s comapny Finance for Non Finance Managers online at www.financefornonfinance.co.uk
Less is more
In this week’s guest post experienced coach and NLPer Nigel Heath shares his advice about coaching.
Less is more
By Nigel Heath
I was at a meeting of NLPers one day, long ago, discussing the tools & techniques, when one of the group asked for ‘advice’ with a specific client. The group member told us a bit about the issue and then proceeded to tell us what she had ‘done’ to help the client fix their problem.
“I started with a ‘swish pattern’” she said, “and then I used a ‘circle of excellence’ to build some extra resources.” “I tested to see if the issue was still there, it was, so I used ‘perceptual positions’ and threw in some ‘anchoring’ to help with reinforcing the resources discovered earlier.” “This still hadn’t shifted the original problem.” She then told us of three other things she had tried without success before finally giving up and making another appointment. She asked us “What do you think I should do next?” (Answers on a postcard please to Jen!)
I too remember the heady excitement of discovering I now had the power to heal the world with my new NLP and coaching skills – even if particular individuals, who were clearly in need of healing, resisted my attempts to fix them. Fortunately for me, and everyone else, this phase soon passed.
I began to incorporate my new skills into my existing ones as a physical therapist. As people relaxed under my hands and felt able to express what was really bothering them so I was able to guide them to their own solutions. Increasingly my clients came to me for these skills rather than my physical therapy and I relaxed into knowing they brought their own solutions wrapped in their problems. My job was to listen, ask a few questions and wait for the ‘solution’ to present itself. Their solution, which I reflected back to them. Because it was their solution there was no resistance to it and they would often exclaim “Yes! That’s it!” I think it was Richard Bandler who said “The art of therapy is 99% listening and 1% intervention.”
I now work with my wife, Jenny, as specialist Relationship Coaches. We use NLP, Clean Language and many other assorted skills we have acquired over the years. We have available many resource sheets and exercise plans to give to our clients. Always we hold in our minds “Less is More”. We coach couples and coach together. We see them for two hours minimum but increasingly we see them for one day or two days together. We know that in the ‘dance’ of their unique relationship are the weeds of their problem and the seeds of their own solutions.
I was powerfully influenced by Richard Bach, discoverer of Bach flower remedies, who spent many years ‘unlearning’ the dogmatic approach taught to him in medical school and learning to listen and intuit what his clients really needed to solve their own issues.
As coaches we hold a ‘space’ for our clients, where it is safe for them to confront issues they prefer to ignore. We remind ourselves to:
- remain relaxed and just know they will show us or tell us the solution they need
- resist the urge to give them ‘solution No 42’, which works in nearly every case!
- rely on the skills learnt, and as a coach, the innate skills that drew us to this profession in the first place
- allow our skills to be in the background, supporting us as coaches, providing a loose structure to the session and giving us confidence.
My message to any new coach is “Only use just enough to get the job done. Please don’t ‘try out’ every technique you know on every client. They will leave more screwed up than when they arrived. Trust your intuition and your experience to help your clients have a positive experience with you they will either want to repeat, or recommend to their friends.”
About the Author/Further Resources
Nigel Heath works with his wife Jenny as The Relationship People. They coach together and have trained other coaches to do the same. They are both Master Practitioners of NLP, Clean Language Facilitators and Life Coaches.
They work from their home on the northern edge of the New Forest, on the Hampshire / Wiltshire border.
They have written their first book, “Let’s Talk Love” a one message book based on just one of the exercises they give their couples to do when they are looking to repair or enhance their relationship. It’s available on Amazon and other online bookstores. Their second book “How to have a better argument” is in progress and should be out in 2012.
For 13 years they ran the successful NLP practice group NLP-South, which still meets once a month in Eastleigh near Southampton. Www.nlp-south.org.uk
Visit their web site at www.therelationshipeople.co.uk
read their blog http://relationshipeople.blogspot.com/
follow them on Twitter http://twitter.com/#!/relationspeople
find us on LinkedIn http://www.linkedin.com/company/the-relationship-people
like us on facebook https://www.facebook.com/#!/LetsTalkLove
or contact Nigel direct ni***@*********************co.uk
Coaching in schools
What’s the best way to deliver coaching in schools?
How can pupils and staff benefit from coaching when budgets are so tight?
Liz Scott is a coach working extensively in education; she’s discovered that pure ‘leadership coaching’ isn’t the answer when working with teenagers. Here are the three key points she learnt from coaching in schools.
Coaching in schools
by Liz Scott
You would think that it would be pretty straight forward when coaching students. You would think that all you need to do is to slightly adapt head teacher coaching to suit a teenager. So when I was asked to coach students I was excited, enthusiastic and very naïve. I thought about ‘Dead Poets Society’ and imaged I would inspire these students to great things using coaching instead of poetry. It wasn’t quite that simple. I rapidly had to modify my technique to suit young people. Here are the three key things I learnt.
1. You need a liberal sprinkling of mentoring.
Realisation dawned rapidly as I sat with my first 15 year old that pure leadership coaching wasn’t the answer.
Students spend such a lot of time at school being told what to do and when to do it. The looseness of pure non-directive coaching wasn’t something they were comfortable with. The students responded best when a structured, mentoring approach was mixed with a non-directive framework.
2. Coaching could produce rapid change
The year 10 students had issues ranging from confidence, communication and organisational-skills.
It was astonishing how quickly they adjusted their habits and behaviours when they saw something from a new perspective. For example, one young lad was incredibly disorganised, he’d forget books, homework and pencils on a daily basis. His teachers were frustrated and he felt they were ‘picking’ on him. After a bit of coaching he realised (for himself) that he needed to do something differently.
As a result of the session he decided he would pack his bag every night before school. When he left I couldn’t believe he would remember this on a daily basis. However, he did. When someone ‘finds their own solution’ through coaching, then things can change quickly,
3. It’s better to train the staff in coaching skills
In an ideal world it would be great for students to have an experienced, qualified coach working with them. However, in reality there isn’t the time or money to do this.
I felt real frustration at the small impact I was able to make with individual students. I could only see a limited number of youngsters and time was tight when I saw them (each session was 20 minutes).
It seems that the real leverage is when the staff are trained in coaching skills and can scatter coaching into their conversations and interactions with the students. This is the area I began to focus on. Instead of me delivering coaching with an ad-hoc number of students I began to work with teachers and TA’s to help them use coaching skills to transform student-relationships, lessons and day to day conversations.
It’s so much better to help the staff learn fundamental coaching skills. When they can do this then the impact can be felt across the school.
Summary
Working in schools is incredibly rewarding. For me the biggest reward is helping the existing staff to adapt their communication using coaching skills. Teachers are already highly skilled in working with young people, so giving them the additional skill of coaching can make a real difference in a school.
About the Author/Further Resources
Liz Scott is part of www.smartcoachingforschools.com. She works with a coach delivering coaching skill training courses in education. Liz also brings coaches together as part of Coaching Connect. You can come to the next Coaching Connect event in October www.coachingconnect.eventbrite.com
Coaching Quote of the Day 2nd September 2011
“Perfect solutions of our difficulties are not to be looked for in an imperfect world.”
(Winston Churchill)