self-care

Cultivating Self-Care: A Life-Long Journey of Kindness

 in quote  tagged coach / coaches / coaching / kindness / life-long / love / oscar wilde / quote / self-care
To love oneself is the beginning of a life long romance. Oscar Wilde600 x 400 px 1

“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.” (Oscar Wilde)

Yesterday was International Self-Care Day, and I had intended to write this post then. However, when I sat down to write and asked myself what I could do in that moment to take better care of myself, the answer I got was to write this a day later and take a nap—which cleared up the start of a headache right away.

In the past, I would have powered through and written the post regardless. Now, I analyse and prioritize in a much kinder manner to myself. In fact, asking myself, “What can I do in this moment to be kinder to myself?” has become a mental practice I associate with self-care.

I could beat myself up for posting this a day after the actual International Self-Care Day, but why would I do that? I find that posts like this often reach the people who need them most at the right time for them—not necessarily on an arbitrary, declared international day. Moreover, taking care and being kind to yourself is a habit that should extend beyond just one day a year.

So, in that vein, what can you do right now to be kinder to yourself?

I invite you to actually take a moment to ask yourself that question and see what the answer is for you—I can wait while you do that! 😉

I hope you took that moment, and if you’re still reading, I’m guessing your answer wasn’t to stop what you’re doing and have a nap. Maybe it was to adjust your posture, or perhaps just take a moment to focus on your breathing and the simplicity that can bring. Did you take a second to drink more water or change the temperature of the room you’re in?

For some, the answer might have been something with a larger impact—perhaps you realized you didn’t need to dwell on a habitual thought that usually brings you down or had a fresh perspective and saw that you had been looking at something in an unhelpful way.

You may or may not have been surprised by the answer that came to you. If it was followed by a judgmental thought like “I should have known to do that already,” remember: you did know, which is why the answer came to you. And has beating yourself up with such judgmental thinking ever helped you remember faster? Probably not. So how about skipping the self-judgment and seeing what a difference that makes?

If that seems like a big leap, then consider doing it as an experiment. You get to choose how long you run the experiment for—start with a small stretch of time and, if you find that you don’t dislike the experience, extend the experiment a bit longer. By approaching it this way, you can observe the effects of being kinder to yourself without feeling pressured to make a permanent change immediately. Think of it as giving yourself the grace to explore a new way of thinking and being.

Remember, self-care and kindness towards oneself are not confined to a single day, but are ongoing practices that enrich our lives daily. By experimenting with small acts of self-compassion and observing their impact, you can gradually cultivate a more nurturing relationship with yourself.

So today, and every day, ask yourself: “What can I do right now to be kinder to myself?” Embrace the answers that come to you, and let them guide you towards a more balanced and fulfilling life. After all, loving oneself truly is the beginning of a life-long romance.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. If it resonated with you, feel free to share your thoughts or your own self-care practices in the comments below.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is a transformative coach dedicated to empowering individuals to get out of their own way and make a meaningful impact in the world. With an impactful, nurturing coaching style, Jen supports clients in unlocking their potential and achieving their goals. As an experienced coach and trainer, she guides clients from self-doubt to success.

Discover how Jen can support you to get out of your own way here.

Questions For Coaches About Self-Care

 in quote  tagged coach / coaches / coaching / proverb / questions / quote / self-care
This is the interior of a cobbers work space. Two large arched windows let in lots of light. Shoe making equipment and tools are neatly arranged around the workbenches and shelves. the text reads: "The cobbler always wears the worst shoes." (Proverb)

The quote of the day is:

“The cobbler always wears the worst shoes.” (Proverb)

Questions For Coaches:

  • As a coach, how do you describe the work that you do? How do you apply that to your own life?
  • When was the last time you had a coaching conversation where you are the client?
  • How do you recognise areas in your life where you might be neglecting your own needs while helping others?
  • How do you ensure that your professional skills and knowledge are up-to-date?

Bonus Questions:

  • How do you prioritise your own business development while maintaining high-quality service for clients?
  • How can you model self-care for your clients?
  • Do you guide clients in balancing self-care with caring for others, if so, how do you describe that?

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer, Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.

Balancing Acts? Nurturing Others While Honoring Self-Care

 in quote  tagged coach / coaches / coaching / Michel de Montaigne / quote / self-care
The background is completly white. In the foreground is a blue gift box - the type where the lid lifts off the rest of the box. A lifter blue ribbon is tied around the box, culminating in a big bow on the top. The text reads. "Lend yourself to others, but give yourself to yourslef." (Michel de Montaigne)

Today’s quote is:

“Lend yourself to others, but give yourself to yourself.” (Michel de Montaigne)

While it may not apply to every single approach to coaching, many coaches think of themselves as being part of the helping profession. We often lend ourselves to others, spending time imparting knowledge and nudging wisdom to the forefront. We pour our hearts into nurturing their potential, helping them to grow and thrive. But amidst this noble endeavor, let’s not forget to give to ourselves as well.

Today’s quote encapsulates what can feel like a delicate balance between serving others and nurturing one’s own well-being. Logic says that it is something that we know is essential for both coaches and their clients, but it’s not unusual to think that we’ve tipped the scale too far one way or another. Personally, I’m not a huge fan of the imagery of anything being balanced – it suggests that there is only one universal “correct” place and doesn’t take into account other situations. For example, it may be that your physical health requires you to rest more compared to when you are fully healthy for a period of time if you are recovering from an illness or injury.

As coaches, we dedicate ourselves to supporting our clients on their journeys of self-discovery, personal development, and goal achievement. We lend our expertise, compassion, and guidance to help them navigate challenges, overcome obstacles, and unlock their full potential. However, amidst the demands of coaching and the needs of our clients, it’s easy to neglect our own needs and priorities.

Montaigne’s quote reminds us of the importance of self-care, self-reflection, and self-prioritization. It urges us to carve out time and space for ourselves, to nourish our own growth, and to honor our own aspirations and dreams. After all, how can we effectively support others if we neglect our own well-being and fulfillment?

Lending ourselves to others is an act of generosity and service. It involves actively listening to our clients, empathizing with their experiences, and offering them our time, attention, and expertise. It requires us to be fully present, engaged, and attuned to their needs and goals. By lending ourselves to others, we create a safe and supportive space for our clients to explore, learn, and grow.

However, while lending ourselves to others is important, giving ourselves to ourselves is equally essential. It means prioritizing our own self-care, self-awareness, and personal development. It involves setting agreed expectations, practicing self-compassion, and pursuing our own passions and interests. When we give ourselves to ourselves, we replenish our own energy, creativity, and sense of fulfillment, allowing us to show up as our best selves for our clients.

Sometimes this is down to habit – I know that one of the things I can neglect when deeply listening to someone via a Zoom call is paying attention to my posture. Something that my physical body will remind me about at a later stage! I’m just in the habit of apparently deeply listening with my head slightly tilted to one side. Something that when I catch myself doing since spotting that lets me quietly straighten whilst still being fully present with that other person.

Finding the balance between lending ourselves to others and giving ourselves to ourselves requires intentionality and awareness. It involves recognizing when we need to recharge and replenish our own reserves and taking proactive steps to prioritize our well-being. This may involve scheduling regular self-care activities, setting boundaries around our time and energy, and engaging in practices that nourish our mind, body, and spirit.

As coaches, we have a responsibility not only to our clients but also to ourselves. By honoring our own needs and priorities, we model self-care and self-compassion for our clients, inspiring them to do the same. Ultimately, when we strike a healthy balance between lending ourselves to others and giving ourselves to ourselves, we create a sustainable foundation for both personal and professional fulfillment.

In conclusion, Montaigne’s quote serves as a powerful reminder for coaches to prioritize self-care and self-awareness amidst the demands of coaching. By finding the balance between serving others and nurturing ourselves, we create the conditions for both personal and professional growth. I think this quote is a reminder to invest in your personal growth, to cultivate your passions, to rest and recharge. Take time to reflect, to learn, and to grow. Because the more we refine ourselves, the more we have to offer. So, as you lend yourself to others, don’t forget to give yourself to yourself.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.

Embracing Rest: The Importance of Downtime for Coaches

 in quote  tagged coach / coaches / coaching / idleness / productivity / quote / rest / self-care / Sir John Lubbock / time
A empty green bench is in the bottom left corner surrounded by green grass and a couple of trees on the edge in the foreground. In the distance is a stretch of blue water with a distant tree line on the far bank. The sky is blue with fluffy white clouds. The text reads: "Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under the trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the blue sky, is by no means waste of time" (Sir John Lubbock)

Today’s quote is:

“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under the trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the blue sky, is by no means waste of time” (Sir John Lubbock)

As coaches, we’re accustomed to giving our all to support others in their personal and professional growth. We’re often passionate about our work and dedicated to helping our clients achieve their goals. But in our quest to empower others, we mustn’t overlook the importance of caring for and listening to ourselves.

Rest isn’t just a luxury; it’s a necessity for our well-being and effectiveness as coaches. Here are a few reasons why embracing rest is essential:

  • Renewed Energy: Just as our clients need breaks to recharge and refocus, so do we. Taking time to rest allows us to replenish our energy reserves and approach our coaching sessions with renewed vigour and enthusiasm.
  • Enhanced Creativity: Rest provides space for our minds to wander and explore new ideas. When we give ourselves permission to step away from our work, we create opportunities for inspiration and innovation to flourish.
  • Improved Focus: Constant busyness can lead to burnout and diminished cognitive function. By prioritising rest, we can sharpen our focus and attention, enabling us to be more present and engaged in our coaching sessions.
  • Stress Reduction: Many find the demands of coaching and running a business can be taxing, both mentally and emotionally. Incorporating regular periods of rest into our routine can help alleviate stress and promote a sense of calm and relaxation.

So, how can we embrace rest in our busy lives as coaches?

  • Schedule Downtime: Treat rest like any other important appointment in your calendar. Block off time for relaxation and leisure activities, whether it’s a leisurely walk in nature, reading a book, or simply enjoying a quiet moment of reflection.
  • Set Boundaries: Learn to say no to activities or commitments that drain your energy and leave you feeling overwhelmed. Prioritise self-care and honour your need for rest, even if it means disappointing others temporarily. I often find setting expectations at the start of working with someone helps – For example I ensure that clients know I reply to emails within 48 hours – usually much faster but there will be times when I’m not reachable every moment of the day. It may be that you are happy to be “on call” 24/7, it’s just not something that works with my other commitments – and its easier to be transparent about that up-front. Any client that is looking for that level of support and its a deal breaker then I’m not the coach for them – I feel its better for us both to find that out quickly.
  • Listen to yourself: We spend a lot of time in coach trainings looking at listening to others – how much do you actually listen to yourself? What do you want to do right now? What do you know to do?
  • Seek Support: Don’t be afraid to reach out for support when you need it. Whether it’s leaning on friends, family, or fellow coaches, having a strong support network can help you navigate the challenges of coaching while prioritizing your well-being. You don’t have to do everything on your own!

In conclusion, rest is not a luxury reserved for the idle; it’s an essential component of a healthy and balanced life. As coaches, it’s important to honor our need for rest and relaxation, recognizing that it’s not only beneficial for our own well-being but also essential for our effectiveness in supporting others. So, let’s embrace rest as a valuable tool for self-care and recharge our batteries so we can continue to make a positive impact in the lives of our clients.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.