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3 Common Coaching Traps To Avoid

 in Guest Post  tagged coaches / coaching / intervention / leadership / questions / success / Suzi McAlpine / technique

In this weeks guest post leadership development coach Suzi McAlpine shares some of her expertise and experience.

3 Common Coaching Traps To Avoid

By Suzi McAlpine

"3 Common Coaching Traps To Avoid" by Suzi McAlpine

Recently I was facilitating a workshop for an organisation that wanted its leadership team to become better coaches. And just FYI, big kudos to that company, for recognising the importance of developing coaching skills in their leaders.

But back to the workshop. As the day progressed, I noticed a common theme emerging. Cue, lightbulb moment…

The traps learner coaches fall into are the same traps I can fall into – even as an experienced coach.

Interestingly, when I spoke to other leadership coaches about it, they agreed to suffering from the same afflictions.

Whether you’re new to this coaching lark or a seasoned pro, here are 3 common coaching traps to avoid (and their antidotes):-

1. Over Intervention Syndrome (or OIS, as I’ve coined it). Symptoms include firing too many questions to your coaching client in machine gun-like fashion, resulting in them feeling like they are in a job interview (not a coaching session); an overwhelming urge to give advice or tell them what to do; and feeling uncomfortable about silent pauses in sessions.

Antidote: Recognise what beauty and power there is in silence. Your role as a coach is to hold a trusted and safe space for your client to explore their professional issues.

Some of the best coaching interventions I’ve ever had were the ones I never made.

Tuning into their body language can provide powerful cues. Notice when people are working it out on their own and let the magic of silence ‘do its thang’.

2. Fix it Funk. If you’re a perfectionist, this is one trap you should be extra careful of.

Symptoms include, a frustration they (and you) are not making progress on the issue quickly enough; a desire to move ahead and make progress, despite your coachee’s stance; and your ego getting tied up with the “right” outcome.

Antidote: My mentor, Anouk Grave, nailed it when she said to “work with what is, not what we would like it be.”

There’s a skill in meeting your coachee where they are now, not where you both want them to be.

The irony is, when I have deliberately been patient with the slow pace of progress, it has sped up! As we all know, deep change can be difficult. I’m talkin’ qualifying for the Olympics kinda difficult. Naming what you are noticing about the pace of change, in an honest and compassionate way, might be a good idea at times – but forcing people to change when they are not ready is usually counterproductive.

If you have Fix it Funk, your own coaching supervision could be a good idea.

3. Too Nice Nancy. Symptoms of this affliction? A conscious or unconscious desire to be liked…at all costs. Too Nice Nancy will miss opportunities to honestly challenge people, fail to raise awareness in her peeps and generally hold back communication that needs to happen.

Antidote: Think about it. Some of the most powerful feedback you’ve ever received was probably someone who gave you an honest truth, raised awareness to a blind spot, or challenged you in a compassionate and skilled way.

Like anything, if you’re experiencing resistance to giving challenging feedback, it probably has more to do with your own blocks.

Once again, that’s your cue to get some coaching. Ask yourself, am I challenging this person enough? Are there patterns in their behaviour I am noticing, but not naming? What is getting in the way of me raising them?

If you’re a leadership coach experiencing common themes emerging in your work, I’d love to hear from you. What ‘coaching traps’ can you add to the list above? And, what antidotes do you suggest?

About Suzi McAlpine 

Suzi McAlpineSuzi McAlpine is a leadership development coach and author of internationally acclaimed leadership blog, The Leader’s Digest. Suzi works alongside CEOs and senior executives in organisations throughout New Zealand to ignite better leadership. The services she provides include one-on-one coaching, peer coaching, workshop facilitation and keynote speaking.

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Connect with Suzi:

Twitter: @suzimcalpine

Facebook: www.facebook.com/theleadersdigest

LinkedIn: https://nz.linkedin.com/in/suzimcalpine

Instagram: @theleadersdigest

Blog: www.theleadersdigest.me

 

 

Awaking the Sleeping Giant Within

 in Guest Post  tagged challenge / clients / coach / coaching / Diane Dutchin / empower / impact / motivate / passion / purpose / questions / reflect / talent

In today’s guest post Coach Diane Dutchin shares her expertise and knowledge to benefit both you and your clients.

Awaking the Sleeping Giant Within

by Diane Dutchin

"Awaking the sleeping Giant within" by Diane Dutchin

“Sleeping never moves you forward, it’s the awakening process that stirs you to action”

(DianeD)

I know, the title to this topic is not the usual you come across in your mail box like “how to uncover and tap into your niche”, or “how to attract more clients”. However, stay with me, this is an appropriate fit because it’s about you the coach and your client.

My intent is to deliver a one two punch of relevant information to empower you to reflect, to reapply methods of being and doing in your journey as a coach, and hopefully lead to a revival, renewal/refreshing to both you and your clients.

Let’s start with you the coach:

Reflect: when you first started your practice what was your attitude like? Aside from the excitement of finally doing what I felt I was created to do, I was focused on uncovering what areas of life I was deeply passionate about and connected to.

Forget about what the experts are saying you should or shouldn’t do, and what the latest niche is. What fired you up and awakened your spirit? Is that fire still there or is it a dying ember? Or, are you more motivated by external realities than your internal convictions? Stay consistent to your internal convictions. Here are some steps I follow to help me awaken sleeping giants in my journey

Revisit/Reapply: your core values and your personal beliefs. Revisiting my values gives me the opportunity to assess my present state, and how much of my values/beliefs are still in line with my living, and make adjustments where needed. By doing that you sharpen:

  • Your talents – what you know you’re really good at
  • Your passions – what you deeply care about
  • Your purpose – what is it you want your life to count for
  • Your impact – what is the outcome you’re looking to achieve

By incorporating your basic style of coaching with fresh ideas, tips and tools you can strengthen your practice, and find yourself at the advantage of serving with excellence.

Revive: your truth, your internal realities, and your purpose – not someone else! It’s easy to place too much emphasis on what others are doing, and dismiss what convicts and motivates your particular style. Yes, it takes someone with courage to stay consistent, recognize opportunities, and accept the calling to be a coach of positive change. I am not saying to ignore growth, but don’t throw out the baby with the bath water by neglecting the fundamentals you established your practice on.

Renew/Refresh: your life, your vision, your focus, your practice and your delivery. By taking the time to reflect, revisit/reapply and revive areas, thoughts, actions or saying about your life and practice, you could experience a welcomed renewal that can improve your delivery add deep refreshing to you and your practice.

All about the client:

Seeing that you’re in the coaching profession, I am going to automatically assume part of your focus when working with your client, is to:

  • Guide them towards the door of awareness
  • Empower them to open the door,
  • Challenge them to step into the journey
  • Motivate them to discover their answers, solutions, etc. in specific areas.

So, why is it some coaches overcomplicate this process? As a coach you want to remain mindful of lining up your words with your actions. I would rather have someone under promise with their words and over deliver with their actions, instead of over promising and under delivering.

Clients come to you because they have a need, and are drawn to you based on a number of factors:

  • What they’ve read on your site
  • What they heard through a referral
  • What your past clients said/testimonials
  • What was felt through the initial connection

In my experience I’ve found my most effective encounters and results came when I avoided the flashy and fancy approach. People aren’t looking necessarily for how much credentials are behind your name, or how many hundreds of clients you’ve served – all they care about is “can you help me with______?”

The basic foundational questions still works and can be extremely effective to get the journey of awareness, and empowerment to change started:

  • Why, when, where, what and how? (in whatever order)

You still have opportunity to ask other questions like:

  • What are your internal/external realities?
  • How important are values and beliefs to you?
  • On a scale ____? How do you feel about____?

My experience is that this way such questions will automatically fall into place!

There should be a natural flow when serving your clients. Be cautious of “trying” a new thing you read about, or what happens to be the “new style of coaching”. If not, it could show up during the session and mat be the last one with the client.

As a coach you can awaken and elevate areas of your personal and professional life to higher levels of fulfillment, and stir your clients forward to have a more impactful, and life transforming experience.

How do you know when an area in your life needs to be awaken, and what action do you take to revive it?

You are your Greatest Investment!

About Diane Dutchin

“Diane – life coach with a passion for living her best life and motivating others to do the same. I provide quality coaching and facilitating services to clients and coaches on a personal and professional level. I work with people to improve the quality of their lives on a personal and professional level.

Check out my site at www.makethemovecoaching.com and connect for a free 1 hour strategy session.”

Coaching Confidence Chatterbox with Olivia Chapman 1

 in Chatterbox  tagged benefit / Chatterbox / client / coach / coaching / interview / lesson / Olivia Chapman / questions

Chatterbox

Coaching Confidence Chatterbox with

Olivia Chapman

The Coaching Confidence Chatterbox is an interview feature with coaches where the questions are generated based on the origami fortune teller/chatterbox game.

Olivia Chapman

Name: Olivia Chapman

Name of your Coaching Business: Natural Greatness Coaching, LLC.

Website: www.naturalgreatnesscoaching.com

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(The answers to the above questions are then used to generate a choice of numbers)

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Select one of the following numbers 8, 1, 4 or 5: 8

“What, if anything, do you look for when choosing to work with a client?”:

First and foremost I want to be sure that any potential clients are willing to be truly invested in the process. The coaching process is one where both coach and client are deeply invested in the relationship, the plan and the intended goals.

Secondly, I ensure that there are no conflicts of interest between the client and myself as well as reflect upon whether or not I am best suited to help each individual client. For example, if the area in which they seek coaching is not an area in which I feel I have the proper expertise or is not aligned with the moral foundation of my company, I will refer them to another coach or service.

Ultimately, I want to be the best coach for each individual client so I take time to check in with myself and reflect before going into contract.

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Select one of the following numbers 1, 4 or 5: 5

“What is your favourite way that a client has found out about your work?”:

My favorite way to find out that a client has discovered my work is word of mouth. If my previous clients have referred me to their friends, coworkers or family, I feel as though I am making a difference. That validation and endorsement from clients is what grows my business as well as gives me the assurance that my work is empowering and motivating others.

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Select one of the following numbers 1 or 4: 5

“What is the biggest lesson that you’ve learnt, so far, as a coach?”:

The biggest lesson I have learned as a coach so far is so simple: listen. Just listen. Listen closely and listen to truly gain understanding. Do not listen just to respond, listen to clarify, listen to learn and listen to connect.

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What question would you like to add to the Chatterbox for another coach to answer?:

As a coach, what do you feel has been the greatest benefit of being coached?

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How would you answer that question?:

As a coach, I have had a relationship with my own coach for a while now. Also, I have been coached in trainings as well as by coaching mentors in the field and in my own business. The greatest benefit of this coaching is that I am continuously gaining more perspective and having moments of realization in my own life and practice. Often times I can use this greater understanding of myself to break down my own barriers of thinking and pass on new insights and perspectives to my clients. In a way, I see coaching as a tree, whereas the branches of perspective and knowledge keep growing which is constantly energizing to me.

 

Thanks for playing Olivia, if you want to find out more about her work visit www.naturalgreatnesscoaching.com.

If you are a coach and want to play with the Coaching Confidence Chatterbox send an email via this page.

 

Seven Pieces of Advice From Top Coaching Clients 1

 in Guest Post  tagged advice / business coach / business coaching / charging / client / clients / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / executive coach / focus / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / nlp coach / outcomes / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / questions / respectful / Richard Nugent / trust / TwentyOne Leadership

What advice would your clients give coaches? In today’s guest post Richard Nugent shares:

"Seven Pieces of Advice From Top Coaching Clients" A guest post by Richard Nugent

Seven Pieces of Advice From Top Coaching Clients

by Richard Nugent

In preparation for this article, I thought I’d ask some of my coaching clients what they wanted and needed from a coach most of all. Some answers surprised me, some I completely expected and, while I hope all are factors that you already take into account when coaching, they are all great reminders of good coaching practice.

To give you a flavour, the clients I asked included several Executives of large organisations, various entrepreneurs, a professional footballer, a senior training manager, some business coaches and teacher. I have coached all of them for some time and all are pretty demanding of themselves and their coach!

I asked them all the same question ‘what is the single most important thing that a coach must do’? Here are the seven most common answers.

1. Keep in touch. Whether between sessions or during breaks in the coaching relationship. The coaching relationship must be on going and consistent even when the actual coaching isn’t.

2. Focus on helping me to understand how I can achieve my outcomes. Everyone is different; don’t assume that there is a right way for everyone.

3. Be you. A coaching relationship works best with you feel the coach is being themselves. Don’t be one way when we meet then turn into a different person when you coach.

4. Be respectful of the trust and investment that I am making in you. I am likely to be telling you things that I haven’t told my closest family. I may have also spent my whole development budget for the year with you. Occasionally let me know that you appreciate that.

5. Know when to be really tough with me and kick my butt and when to support me. (I’d call this emotional intelligence – what is clear from clients’ responses that we have to have it on full in every session. One client even used the phrase “don’t be too nice, I’m not looking for a friend, I’ve got plenty of those.”)

6. Keep asking great questions. Make me think differently to how I am now. Also keep asking me great, different questions – I never know what is coming next and that keeps me on my toes.

7. Keep developing. Clients love the fact that I am always learning and they feel that they are getting the benefit of that. This answer was especially prevalent in clients whose development budgets were tight.

These were the top seven, most consistent answers. Some clients felt really strongly about other things, including technical knowledge, business acumen (if you’re helping me build my business, yours should already be more successful) and even the size of network I have.

What occurs to be is that if this is a representation of the important thoughts my clients have, focussing on them is going to help me be a great coach for them and many others.

About the author

Richard is the M.D. of Twenty One Leadership and has coached talented people from the fields of sport and business for the last decade. Clients have credited him with everything from million pound transfers to the creation of new market leading organisations. The return on investment from his programmes stretches into the millions of Pounds, Euros and Dollars.