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The Power of Using Timelines

 in Guest Post  tagged business coach / business coaching / charging / client / clients / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / executive coach / future / hypnotherapy / Lawrence Michaels / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / NLP / nlp coach / past / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / present / technique / timeline

Lawrence Michaels shares a technique in today’s guest post:

the power of using timelines

The Power of Using Timelines

by Lawrence Michaels

I first came across using a timeline as a form of therapeutic and coaching intervention when I studied my NLP practitioner course a number of years ago. Since my training as a Hypnotherapist I frequently use the timeline approach with my clients, both as a powerful way of resolving past issues which are impacting on their life today and to re-access and utilise past or current resources and strengths, to help them in the present and future.

To be clear at this point I haven’t had any training in the similar Timeline Therapy approach and so am writing based on my own experience of using timelines in the context of NLP and Hypnotherapy.

The Timeline in a nutshell

So, for me, using a timeline in it’s simplest form means asking a client to establish a metaphorical line that represents their past, present and future, which they create in their mind, typically when in a trance state. This means I can easily guide them to revisit different times in their past and to create a preferred future scenario. What I find particularly effective when using this approach is the combination of disassociation and association when dipping in to different events and times in their life, so they see and experience these situations from different perspectives. Also the actual disassociation created by the timeline itself is particularly helpful when revisiting traumatic past events.

Preparation

Typically before using a timeline technique with a client I already have a good idea of how I am going to use it to help them, either by knowing which past events need to be resolved or which resources I want to access. However the beauty of this approach is that if the client is stuck, or just not able to identify or discuss specific areas of their life with me, we can wait until we use the timeline to help them do that, without the client needing to disclose any detail.

Anchoring the client

So I start by anchoring the client in a safe, secure and comfortable place using lots of sensory focus so they create this special place in their mind, as a place to go to at any point in our work together. This is of course a form of hypnotic induction, bringing a light trance state. This anchor is helpful both as a positive resourceful state they can easily re-access and also to use as a transition between visiting different points on their timeline.

Working on the Timeline

As far as the actual work on the timeline; My role is to guide them along their timeline, visiting different events and experiences where I can then utilise the relevant intervention technique or approach. This includes allowing the client in their adult state to pass on guidance and support and wisdom to their younger selves, before allowing them to experience an old event in a different way with these new resources in place. By setting up a simple hand signal the client is also able to communicate to me without breaking their trance state and let me know how they are doing. I always then have the option of taking them back to their comfortable place should it be needed. It’s so satisfying to utilse the clients resources and strengths and work with their creativity so that together we come up with some really helpful solutions. It is also a chance for the client to see their past in a new light and recognise the positive intentions that they and others had, that may not have been apparent before.

Finally I future pace the client and allow them to have a vivid positive experience of themselves in a situation that previously would have had negative past associations. Of course being creative and respectful with how to use the clients own resources and life experience is important, and quite often new ways of working come up as we are using this timeline approach that are tailored to them.

About the author

After his interest in NLP was sparked from taking a workshop in 2004, Lawrence passed his NLP Practitioner and then in 2008 completed his Diploma in Hypnotherapy which included the Human Givens Psychotherapy approach. Based in Brighton UK Lawrence now specialises in helping clients with anxiety related concerns as well as seeing clients in other areas such as weight loss and Sports Performance. His website and blog is www.lawrencemichaels.co.uk and he can also be contacted there. He is also on Twitter (https://twitter.com/LawrenceHypno) and Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/lawrencemichaelshypnotherapy) too.

 

 

My Coaching Clients Aren’t Broken – Are Yours?

 in Guest Post  tagged Addiction recovery / Beth Burgess / business coach / business coaching / change / charging / client / clients / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / empower / executive coach / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / listen / nlp coach / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / present / recovery coaching / Sort my life solutions / uncoachable

Coach Beth Burgess shares her experience, expertise and thoughts in today’s guest post as she asks:

My Coaching Clients Aren’t Broken – Are Yours?

By Beth Burgess

clients not broken2

One of the fundamental presuppositions of NLP and Life Coaching is that our clients are not broken. In coaching circles, I sometimes hear people talk about ‘uncoachable’ clients. And yet we might be writing off clients as ‘uncoachable’, when actually they just have more roadblocks than most.

Many of my clients are people who have to come from a long way behind in life. I coach alcoholics and drug addicts trying to recover, binge eaters, depressives and people who really feel lost in life.

To the eyes of the world, these people are viewed as broken; but not to me. My clients often tell me that they could talk to me forever, they don’t feel judged, they feel more positive, they feel supported and empowered – and they often go on to make brilliant progress in recovering from their setbacks.

This is because I don’t treat them as broken – I treat them as people who are suffering, who are trapped. Not people who are inherently flawed, but people who only need to discover the way to escape.

While some coaches may not feel qualified or comfortable coaching people with addiction disorders, eating disorders etc, this doesn’t mean these people are uncoachable. They just need a coach who understands their issues, who doesn’t see them as broken. They need a coach who believes in them, because how can you effectively coach someone if you think they can’t succeed?

I do know they can succeed, and I cheer-lead them all the way through their journeys. So how do I know they aren’t really broken? Because I am one of those people who came from a long way behind – I was an alcoholic, a self-harmer, a bulimic, an agoraphobic, a depressive.

In fact, NLP was the starting point to me finding the solutions to my own problems. The day I was cured of my agoraphobia by NLP was the day that the rest of my life started to change. Since then, I have made great strides in changing my life and fulfilling my potential. How could I achieve that if I was broken all along? And how could I achieve that if someone else hadn’t believed they could help me?

I am just one tiny example of the people that can, and do, come from behind to succeed – many addicts I have worked with have gone on to do some amazing things and create brilliant, inspirational lives.

I coach my ‘uncoachable’ clients in the same way I would do any client:

  • I am fully present with them
  • I listen deeply
  • I understand their model of the world
  • I empower them to make shifts

If addicts are not your ideal clients, and you don’t have time to invest in understanding their issues, then fair enough. Refer them on to someone who is comfortable in that arena, like a specialist Recovery Coach. But don’t call them broken. They’re not. They are little pieces of inspiration, ready to emerge. Sometimes it happens quickly, sometimes slowly – but with a coach who believes in them, they all have the chance to succeed.

And whoever your clients are, from mothers to executives, from other coaches to corporate leaders, truly believe in everyone you work with, for only then will you empower them to achieve all that they truly can.

About the Author/Further Resources

media shot Beth BurgessBeth Burgess is a fully-trained Life Coach and a qualified NLP Practitioner. Beth’s background is in Social Care, supporting recovering addicts to attain their education and employment goals for a major charity. After seeing so many addicts held back by their own beliefs about themselves, she started her own Recovery Coaching business, Sort My Life Solutions (Smyls). http://www.smyls.co.uk

Specialising in Addiction Recovery, Beth has also been sought out to help people overcoming serious illnesses, mental health problems, redundancy, divorce, bereavement and eating disorders, among other issues.

Beth is the author of two forthcoming books on Addiction Recovery and has also published an e-book, What is Self Esteem? How to Build your Self-Esteem and Feel Happy Now.

Beth’s areas of expertise include Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, Recovery Coaching, Stress Management and Overcoming Obstacles.

Beth lives in North London and coaches clients from all over the world. Her other projects include writing articles, running workshops and speaking.

For more about Beth, visit http://www.bethburgess.co.uk

 

 

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Balancing the Push and Pull of Life

 in Guest Post  tagged Albert Einstein / Andrew A. Faccone / balance / business coach / business coaching / charging / choice / client / clients / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / commitment / control / controllables / end point / enjoy / executive coach / future / goal / jourmey / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / nlp coach / past / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / present / time / Tony Robbins

In today’s guest post Andrew A. Faccone draws upon his own life experiences and his coaching expertise to share 3 points around life, commitment and time.

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Balancing the push and pull of life1

Balancing the Push and Pull of Life ..

By Andrew A. Faccone

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.”

(Albert Einstein)

We are all given 24 hours a day, 1,440 minutes per day and 86,400 seconds per day to use how we see fit.

Those of us reading this post are very fortunate and blessed to choose how we are to use that precious time we are given. That allotted time has a short life span, it must be used immediately and it cannot be carried over. If it is not used properly it expires.

It is our choice to maximize or minimize how we allocate our days, weeks, months and years that we are given in our lifetime. The mystery of life reveals that life is not a straight line, there is no instruction booklet on how to live and we are responsible for our actions.

The attention that we pay to the little things throughout life has a dramatic effect on the outcomes of our life as we progress and mature throughout our lifetime. Since our birth we have all pursued different paths, we have learned, prospered, been knocked down and despite the challenging conditions have succeeded as well as failed in some of our endeavors. The challenges have made us stronger and the shortcomings have taught us what not to repeat in the future. In some cases we are all learning from those shortcomings.

Past events somehow always re-appear at various times throughout our lives. In the time of our youth we pursued our education and the playful desires of our youth. Academics, athletics, music, literature, sciences, religious education, play time with our childhood friends, youth and civic groups, participation with a strong supervision from our families who attended those important life events. They cheered us on in victory and comforted us when the results did not materialize as hoped for.

When our formal education ended we then used our educational backgrounds or God given talents to find a way to make a go of it on our own. Welcome to being a grown up! We now face the commitments of professional life, parenthood, earning a living, providing for our families, advancing our professional careers and now we have become those attendees routing for our family members as they progress through their childhood and young adult activities that we participated in in the not so distant past.

Where is the person who wanted to change the world and make the difference in the world?

Is this life still a life in balance? Is there equal push and pull in our daily activities? Finding that balance, the constant struggle that addresses all of the aspects of our lives. Spirituality, physicality, and mentality.

I am asked many times in all of my personal & professional travels how did I get where I am in life? I have some of the answers to this question and some answers I do not have. I have been blessed to have had some extraordinary people that have been a part of my life. Nine years of a disciplined Catholic school education, athletic participation in high school and college, a loving family along with several key family members who taught me about the true lessons of life and that I can do anything that I set myself to attaining.

I try to rely on 3 key points and try to use them as my daily guide as I try to find a balance between the many commitments I am involved with in my daily life both personally and professionally.

What you say will determine what you will become. I have always been a believer in word affirmations. The words you are projecting will impact your individual outcomes. If you’re not projecting positive words and expecting great things to occur, they will not happen. If you don’t believe something will happen nobody else will. Use those empowering words to get you to where you want to be.

  1. Control The Controllables is the most important piece of our lives’ direction. We cannot control other people or the actions that they undertake, outside events, or decide the specific outcomes for certain situations. We can only control ourselves and our actions; we are accountable to those actions and decisions that we ourselves make. No one else. Do the best you can to work on those goals both short term and long term, work diligently and constantly change your approach to achieve your goals, but understand you can only control what is in front of you. A strong will can conquer anything, but you also have to be realistic in what you undertake.
  2. Have a goal & the end point in mind. We all set out many times to undertake certain projects but never have the end goal in mind. Example: I am going on a diet and lose weight. That statement screams starve yourself and constantly not be satisfied with even losing the smallest amount of weight. Give yourself credit for wanting to lose weight and changing your eating habits. Whenever a new habit is introduced to our lives it takes roughly 28 days to form a new habit. You have to give yourself credit and realize that to be successful and create a new habit it takes time. Having the end point in mind, losing 1-2 pounds weekly and trying to exercise on a more regular basis is a realistic goal & plan. It is not where you are it’s the direction that you are headed that counts. Keep that goal of where you want to be ever present in your daily actions. You’ll be surprised what you can attain.
  3. Enjoy the journey Life is full of surprises, challenges, and lot of unexpected “things “occur. When life throws the unexpected curve at us daily, which it does to us at some point, we need to readjust and get yourself back on track of the task at hand. Interruptions, issues, something totally unexpected is going to occur. Deal with it quickly and to the best of your ability and get back to what you were you were doing. Once that event has occurred put it in the rear view mirror and move on. Tony Robbins, noted author & motivational speaker, referenced the statement ‘the past does not equal the future’. It is so true. We all need to be aware of this statement and realize that we are doing the best that we can, with the time we have to enjoy each day with its many challenges and surprises.

Life is an attitude -have a good one and you will enjoy the wonderful journey. When you start to make these new adjustments in your daily activities, changes in those daily habits, week after week, month after month, and year after year you will start to recognize that new person in the mirror who you have not seen in some time. Start small but think big, because you can do it, great things are coming your way… it all depends on you!

About the Author/Further Resources

Andrew Faccone, MBA is employed in the healthcare industry as a long term care account specialists in the United States near the New York Metropolitan area. Andrew has over 18 years experience as an athlete,& coach positively impacting the lives of athletes he has coached. Andrew is available for speaking engagements of any size or location and individual coaching sessions.

Contact Andrew A. Faccone at aa****@***oo.com or

Linkedin : http://www.linkedin.com/pub/andrew-a-faccone-mba/24/291/3b2

Cell Phone 732 614 8425 Eastern Time Zone

 

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Developing Better Habits 1

 in Guest Post  tagged acceptance / Amber Fogarty / Aristotle / awareness / Bill Moyer / business coach / business coaching / change / charging / client / clients / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / executive coach / future / habits / leadership / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / Nathaniel Branden / nlp coach / past / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / present / SOS Coaching Network / SOSleadership

In the first guest post of 2012, coach Amber Fogarty discusses something she talks about a lot with clients.

Developing Better Habits

by Amber Fogarty

In our work with clients, we talk a lot about developing better habits. In fact, when people ask me to tell them more about what SOS Leadership does, I often reply, “We’re in the habit change business.” All of us, as coaches, are in the habit change business. Habit change is inherently connected to leadership development.

The most basic definition of leadership is influence. As a leader, the way you influence others, and ultimately lead them, is your personal choice. With that choice comes great responsibility.

In the SOS Leadership Seeds of Success program, we define the responsibilities of leadership. The first responsibility is one that can bring a certain amount of pressure and anxiety when we consider it in light of our weaknesses and bad habits:

People become like their leader.

When I think about this, at times it makes me feel uneasy. Yes, there are many positive traits that I wouldn’t mind others learning from me, but there are just as many negative characteristics that I don’t want to pass on to anyone, especially those who consider me to be a leader in their lives.

But what can I do to develop better habits? How can I overcome habits that have developed over many years?

First and foremost, I have to name them. Yes, I have to say out loud what habits I need to change and why. As Nathaniel Branden once said, “The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.” Reflecting on Nathaniel’s words, I know that this is easier said than done. For the most part, we are all aware of our shortcomings, but we don’t necessarily accept them. I agree that we have to understand and accept that we are the way we are today; however, beginning right now we can commit to becoming a better version of ourselves.

SOS Leadership co-founder Bill Moyer reminds our clients often that the past does not equal the future, but the past does equal the present. We need to understand where we’ve been in order to fully commit to changing the future.

Once we are aware of the habits we want to change and have accepted that change is desired and necessary, then we have to make a commitment to developing better habits. This includes developing a written goal, complete with an action plan, for each habit we want to develop. The plan should identify the benefits to be gained by developing this particular habit, as well as the losses to be avoided if we do not change. Beyond that, the plan needs to spell out each obstacle and how to overcome it, as well as how we will track our progress and who we will ask to hold us accountable.

Don’t underestimate the power of tracking and accountability. These are vitally important components of your plan and will help you to always be aware of your progress and challenged when you get off track.

So what habits will you commit to developing (or changing) this year? In the words of Aristotle, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” A new year is the perfect time to make a change. Go for it! Become more excellent!

About the Author/Further Resources

Amber Fogarty is a Partner and Coach with SOS Leadership Institute and the SOS Coaching Network, which unites an elite group of coaches, trainers, and consultants from around the world, providing them with personalized programs, coaching, and tools to help them succeed in the rapidly growing coaching industry. Learn more at www.soscoachingnetwork.com.