“The present moment is ever the critical time. The future is merely for intelligent forethought.” (Robert Barr)
Question For Coaches:
How true does this quote seem to you?
How do you currently balance living in the present with planning for the future?
How do you know when you are in the present moment?
What challenges do you face in staying focused on the present rather than worrying about future outcomes?
Bonus Questions:
What insights arise when you let go of future concerns and focus on the wisdom available to you right now?
How does being fully engaged in the present moment help you make more intentional and fulfilling life choices?
How can staying focused on present tasks improve your productivity and decision-making?
About Jen Waller
Jen Waller is a transformative coach dedicated to empowering individuals to get out of their own way and make a meaningful impact in the world. With an impactful, nurturing coaching style, Jen supports clients in unlocking their potential and achieving their goals. As an experienced coach and trainer, she guides clients from self-doubt to success.
Discover how Jen can support you to get out of your own way here.
“A sheep can not bleat in two different places at the same time.” (proverb)
It’s often said that in today’s modern world, finding focus amidst the cacophony of demands and distractions can feel like an elusive goal. This proverb speaks directly to the challenge of maintaining singular focus—a challenge that many coaches and their clients can grapple with on a daily basis.
If our thoughts and perceptions shape our reality, influencing how we perceive and respond to the world around us, how does that relate to this proverb? When we find ourselves overwhelmed by distractions or pulled in multiple directions, it may seem natural to attribute it to external factors. However, could it be a sign that our thinking has become fragmented, leading to a loss of focus and effectiveness?
Many of us have experienced moments of intense focus, where our attention is wholly absorbed in a single task. You’ve probably can think of an example when you were really focused upon a task at hand and oblivious to what else was going on around you. Maybe you got engrossed in a film or TV show, got lost in the story of a good book, or were just concentrating so hard on a project that time seem to fly by?
If you haven’t already seen the video below used in Daniel Simons and Christopher Chabris 1999 research into selective attention – you’re welcome to watch and follow the instructions on the screen.
The metaphor of the sheep unable to bleat in two different places simultaneously serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of single-pointed focus. Just as a sheep cannot divide its attention between multiple locations, neither can we divide our focus and energy without sacrificing clarity and effectiveness. By understanding the role of thought in shaping our experience, coaches can learn to cultivate a sense of presence and concentration that allows them to show up fully for their clients.
In coaching, maintaining focus is not just about managing external distractions—it’s also about cultivating a deep sense of presence and connection with our clients. When we show up fully for our clients, listening deeply and responding with empathy and understanding, we create a space for transformation and growth to occur.
One of the things that I have found with a greater understanding that our experience is created through the power of thought, is that I no longer spend anywhere near as much time feeling a need to wrestle with my thoughts or try to control them. Instead, I can simply observe my thoughts as they arise, recognising them far quicker for what they are—transient mental events that do not define who we are. Does it mean I never get caught up in a compelling thought (or whole chunks of thinking as a compelling story)? No, it’s just I tend to not take much of the thinking I used to far less seriously than before.
As coaches, we can help our clients recognise the impact of their own thinking on their experience of life. By guiding them to explore the nature of thought and its role in shaping their reality, we empower them to find greater clarity, resilience, and focus in their lives.
So what do you do as a coach if you feel before that your focus is split? I remember when I first started out in coaching, I used to think that there would be a set answer to this question – and this and variations of this question I considered a lot! Many years later, I’m going to start this by saying what I have principle learned from my own experience and talking to other coaches is that it will depend. There is no right or wrong answers here – just ones that will make an impact for you in that moment!
Perhaps there are things that you know that when you do them you seem to have a better day – perhaps it’s a morning cup of coffee or taking the dog for a walk. Maybe it’s allowing yourself time to take a moment just to focus on your breath, or you have a particular book you flick through and whatever page you land on seems to have a significant message for you. Sometimes you may just remember to ask yourself a question such as what would let you become even more focused right now? or to just do whatever occurs to you to quieten and drop your thinking.
In conclusion, the proverb “A sheep cannot bleat in two different places at the same time” underscores the importance of single-pointed focus and presence in coaching. By creating a space for deep listening, understanding, and transformation to occur, our clients can benefit from our full presence. Let us, as coaches, embody the power of presence, knowing that it is through our focused attention that true connection and growth can unfold in our coaching relationships
About Jen Waller
Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.
As an experienced coach and trainer, Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.
“Great souls by instinct to each other turn, Demand alliance, and in friendship burn” (Joseph Addison)
I think this quote resonated with me because it beautifully articulates the essence of deep connections. While its important to say at this stage that coaching is distinct from friendship, for me, there’s an undeniable resonance between these words and the profound experiences that coaching can cultivate.
Exploring the Indescribable:
Depending upon your style and approach, coaching can often delve into realms that challenge easy description. It’s an attempt to articulate the indescribable, a pursuit that might be deemed “woo-woo” by some. In this exploration, I invite you to ponder and recognize your own experiences, considering what draws you to coaching and what you seek in a coaching relationship, both as a coach and a client.
The Flame Within:
One of the enchanting moments in coaching is when a client connects with their “soul” — the instant when they come alive, and you witness the flame within them shining brightly. This transformative spark, often elusive and challenging to articulate, is a magnetic force that transcends mere words. It’s an integral part of my approach to coaching that not all training programs explicitly cover, yet it’s unmistakable when experienced and witnessed.
Authentic Presence and Connection:
Certain coaching approaches create an environment where both coach and client can be authentically present, open, and vulnerable. This authenticity fosters a deep connection that goes beyond verbal communication. Whilst not the only reason, it’s why some coaches insist on connecting with potential clients before committing to a coaching relationship, recognizing the importance of alignment on a profound level.
Believing in the Client:
The question of “believing in a client” might seem perplexing to some. From the perspective of seasoned coaches, the idea of not believing in a client is inconceivable. The alignment between coach and client goes beyond a professional fit; it’s about resonating on a deeper level. It’s about recognizing and respecting each other’s souls and being excited about embarking on a transformative journey together. (I did issue a “woo-woo” warning earlier ;))
I’m always very aware eith a new client, particularly if someone is used to doing everything they can to be the person they think they should be, allowing themselves to just be in that space can feel really vulnerable and can feel like it takes a lot to turn up. Whilst I don’t follow anything as formal as a script its usual for me to acknowledge that in some way during our first conversation – I’ve found it actually aids in the long term. I can often see a physical relaxation once that’s been acknowledged and we can move onto the rest of the conversation.
Beyond Transaction:
When this alignment occurs, I find that the coaching relationship transcends transactional boundaries. It becomes a sacred space for growth— its like a dance of energy to explore evolve. It’s not just about reaching goals; it’s a journey of transformation, where the internal flame burns brighter and stronger and acts as a guide.
A Transformative Journey:
Recognizing the deeper connection in this approach to coaching transforms it into more than just a service—it becomes a transformative journey. This dance of energy propels both coach and client towards growth, evolution, and a profound transformation. It’s about more than achieving objectives; it’s about that allusive term of authenticity.
Your Soulful Coaching Experience:
Do you resonate with this description and experience of coaching? Whether you’re a coach, a client, or someone considering coaching, share your insights in the comments. What draws you to your style of coaching, and what kind of connections do you seek in this transformative process? Your reflections might just inspire and resonate with others on their own coaching journeys. Feel free to share in the coments below.
About Jen Waller
Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.
As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.
“The saddest part about being human is not paying attention. Presence is the gift of life.”
(Stephen Levine)
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