Coaching and did it work?
At some stage in a coaching conversation it’s not at all unusual for me to ask a variation of the question – did/does it work?
I’ve written before about different types of questions (you can read that post again here) and you may recognise that “did/does it work?” can be labelled as a closed question.
In case you have not come across the terminology of a closed question – they are questions were the answer is only yes or no.
You will often come across the label of open questions at the same time – These are questions that start with Who, What, When, Where, Why and How. Open questions are designed to allow answers that are more open with the scope of the information provided.
Often as coaches, we can develop our own “rules” or what should or shouldn’t be done to get coaching “right”. Sometimes these are rules, or beliefs, we have been told by someone we perceive as being more knowledgeable about coaching.
On other occasions it can be something that we have inferred and then told ourselves is what we should do to be a good coach.
From time to time I come across, usually trainee coaches, who have taken on a belief that when coaching closed questions are always bad and open questions are always good.
If this is a belief that you have then I ask you does it work for you at the moment? If so then, as always, I encourage you to keep what works for you!
Personally, I don’t think that it is always so black and white. Sometimes a clear and decisive yes or no is actually really productive.
One of the benefits of a closed question is that it can cut through a whole story that someone is telling themselves about a situation.
“Did/Does it work?” is one of those questions I find can do just that when chosen and asked deliberately.
Particularly if a client is telling you about a course of action where you suspect that he/she is comparing themselves to someone else/the perfect way of doing something.
In this instance, it’s not at all uncommon for your client to have missed and not acknowledged the results they did achieve.
Let me give you an example. Imagine that you are talking to Bob who is “beating himself up” about the fact he could have approached a sales conversation, with a potential client, “better”. He feels that he lacks confidence in his own abilities.
In response to a question about how the last sales conversation went, he could give a detailed account of what he had done wrong, but doesn’t mention the outcome.
When asked, “Did it work?” Bob’s “yes”, both verbally and non-verbally, was surprised – as if this was completely new information.
There may indeed be space for Bob to strengthen his skills and develop other approaches. However, if he never acknowledges his achievements and abilities the harder it will be for Bob to have confidence in his own abilities!
I find that using the question
“Did it work?”
at this stage focuses their attention upon the reality of what they have already achieved. Particularly if they are in the middle of listing everything they perceive they did wrong.
How often do you use a variation of “did it work?” both as a coach and in your own life?