In today’s guest post coach and mountain guide Sarah Maliphant shares her thoughts and experience to offer:

Four Simple Coaching Confidence Boosters

by Sarah Maliphant

What’s made the greatest difference to your coaching confidence? Whether you’re just starting or have been coaching for years, the explorative nature of coaching takes us and our clients into new territory often, and that brings with it uncertainty, unknowns and potential for confidence dips.

First step therefore is to accept that moments of uncertainty are frequent and normal! They dissolve by continuing to explore, staying open, resourceful and curious; Sometimes by just noting that a particular area feels “uncertain,” acknowledging this to be the case and getting certain about what’s uncertain!

New Territory? Explore!

Behind that there is your own faith and experience of the coaching process. For me, my initial coaching confidence came from knowing how much I value being listened to, being asked questions with interest and without judgement or advice. I trust the process and love the underlying approach of coaching, that assumption that your client has the answer and simply values a bit of support to connect things up.

Conversely, my most challenging confidence-dips as a coach have been when I have a judgement on how I’m doing as a client with my own coach. Accepting that my little steps forward are often really, really mind bogglingly little usually releases that double bind… and in becoming more accepting of my own sustainable pace, I feel more confident in travelling at whatever pace my clients seek.

Mountain Metaphors: Half way through 8 hours of REALLY small steps to a summit in the Andes, June 2005

On an ongoing basis, the biggest confidence booster that comes to mind is: Ask your client

• Not sure whether the pace is right? Ask!
• Aware that a lot of coaching time is being used to repeat stories or detailed content? Ask if that’s how they want to spend their time, ask how and when to intrude
• Not sure how to raise something? Ask how they’d like you to handle it
• Wondering whether there’s more you could provide? Ask what else they’d like

The simplicity of this is rich: Asking is, after all, a fundamental of coaching. But there’s a deeper value too. By asking your client, you reinforce their belief in their ability to identify, communicate and respond to their own needs. Regardless of the specific outcome they are moving towards, this strengthens their connection to their own resourcefulness.

Does this make the conversation all about you, the coach? No, these are moments where you check in, create space for your client to do the same – and then you can continue your explorations together.

Our job is not to be awesomely amazing, but to help craft a space that is safe enough for our clients’ amazingness to blossom to their satisfaction. So relax, ask, and carry on coaching 🙂

About the author

Sarah Maliphant combines coaching and mountain guiding, a pairing she finds natural for open conversation and perspective. As well as one-one work, she leads mountain retreats in a peaceful the Brecon Beacons each month, with plenty of coaching, pampering and tasty home cooked meals – plus cake of course. The cake is a very important part of nurture in nature!
Website: http://www.more-to.org
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/moretomountains
Twitter: https://twitter.com/SarahMaliphant