kindness

Cultivating Self-Care: A Life-Long Journey of Kindness

 in quote  tagged coach / coaches / coaching / kindness / life-long / love / oscar wilde / quote / self-care
To love oneself is the beginning of a life long romance. Oscar Wilde600 x 400 px 1

“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.” (Oscar Wilde)

Yesterday was International Self-Care Day, and I had intended to write this post then. However, when I sat down to write and asked myself what I could do in that moment to take better care of myself, the answer I got was to write this a day later and take a nap—which cleared up the start of a headache right away.

In the past, I would have powered through and written the post regardless. Now, I analyse and prioritize in a much kinder manner to myself. In fact, asking myself, “What can I do in this moment to be kinder to myself?” has become a mental practice I associate with self-care.

I could beat myself up for posting this a day after the actual International Self-Care Day, but why would I do that? I find that posts like this often reach the people who need them most at the right time for them—not necessarily on an arbitrary, declared international day. Moreover, taking care and being kind to yourself is a habit that should extend beyond just one day a year.

So, in that vein, what can you do right now to be kinder to yourself?

I invite you to actually take a moment to ask yourself that question and see what the answer is for you—I can wait while you do that! 😉

I hope you took that moment, and if you’re still reading, I’m guessing your answer wasn’t to stop what you’re doing and have a nap. Maybe it was to adjust your posture, or perhaps just take a moment to focus on your breathing and the simplicity that can bring. Did you take a second to drink more water or change the temperature of the room you’re in?

For some, the answer might have been something with a larger impact—perhaps you realized you didn’t need to dwell on a habitual thought that usually brings you down or had a fresh perspective and saw that you had been looking at something in an unhelpful way.

You may or may not have been surprised by the answer that came to you. If it was followed by a judgmental thought like “I should have known to do that already,” remember: you did know, which is why the answer came to you. And has beating yourself up with such judgmental thinking ever helped you remember faster? Probably not. So how about skipping the self-judgment and seeing what a difference that makes?

If that seems like a big leap, then consider doing it as an experiment. You get to choose how long you run the experiment for—start with a small stretch of time and, if you find that you don’t dislike the experience, extend the experiment a bit longer. By approaching it this way, you can observe the effects of being kinder to yourself without feeling pressured to make a permanent change immediately. Think of it as giving yourself the grace to explore a new way of thinking and being.

Remember, self-care and kindness towards oneself are not confined to a single day, but are ongoing practices that enrich our lives daily. By experimenting with small acts of self-compassion and observing their impact, you can gradually cultivate a more nurturing relationship with yourself.

So today, and every day, ask yourself: “What can I do right now to be kinder to myself?” Embrace the answers that come to you, and let them guide you towards a more balanced and fulfilling life. After all, loving oneself truly is the beginning of a life-long romance.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. If it resonated with you, feel free to share your thoughts or your own self-care practices in the comments below.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is a transformative coach dedicated to empowering individuals to get out of their own way and make a meaningful impact in the world. With an impactful, nurturing coaching style, Jen supports clients in unlocking their potential and achieving their goals. As an experienced coach and trainer, she guides clients from self-doubt to success.

Discover how Jen can support you to get out of your own way here.

A Coaching Invite To Be Kinder Than Is Necessary

 in quote  tagged coach / coaches / coaching / J. M. Barrie / kindness / quote
This image has a dreamlike golden glow about it. A tranquil stream runs throw the middle and out into the distance. On each side is lush grass with flowers mixed in. Rolling fields and tress are in the distance to the horizon, where the sun is setting. The text reads: "Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight: always to try to be a little kinder than is necessary?" (J.M. Barrie, The Little White Bird)

Today’s quote is:

“Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight: always to try to be a little kinder than is necessary?” (J.M. Barrie, The Little White Bird)

In the realm of coaching, where transformation and growth are paramount, kindness often emerges as a silent yet powerful force. J.M. Barrie’s quote invites us to explore the profound impact of kindness in our coaching practice.

The phrase, ‘a little kinder than is necessary,’ leapt out at me as an invite to confront the notion of necessity itself. What exactly is necessary in our interactions, both as coaches and as individuals navigating the complexities of life? Often, necessity is framed within the confines of societal norms, expectations, and personal agendas.

However, the proposition in that quote challenges us to expand our understanding of necessity beyond the conventional boundaries. It beckons us to question whether our actions and attitudes truly align with the highest expression of humanity. Perhaps, what is truly necessary is not merely meeting the minimum requirements of decency, but rather, embracing a higher standard of compassion, empathy, and understanding. By transcending the limitations of necessity as dictated by external factors, we open ourselves to a realm of possibility where kindness becomes not just a choice, but an essential guiding principle in our interactions with others and ourselves.

Kindness, in its simplest form, is the act of extending warmth, empathy, and compassion towards ourselves and others. It is a gentle reminder to approach every interaction with a spirit of generosity and understanding, regardless of the circumstances. As coaches guided by the principles of innate well-being, resilience, and clarity, embracing kindness becomes not just a choice, but a way of being.

At the heart of my approach to coaching lies the understanding that we are all innately whole and capable of experiencing profound insights and transformations. Kindness serves as a conduit for connecting with this innate wisdom, fostering an environment of trust, safety, and openness within the coaching relationship. When we approach our clients with kindness, we create a space where they feel valued, supported, and empowered to explore their innermost thoughts and emotions without fear of judgment or criticism.

Moreover, kindness has the remarkable ability to dissolve barriers and cultivate deeper connections between coach and client. It allows us to see beyond the surface and truly empathize with the unique experiences and challenges faced by those we coach. By extending kindness, we acknowledge the inherent humanity within each individual, paving the way for authentic, meaningful interactions that facilitate growth and self-discovery.

It’s looking at kindness is not merely a superficial gesture, but a fundamental aspect of our shared human experience. It is a reminder that beneath our differences lies a common thread of compassion and understanding that unites us all. By embracing kindness in our coaching practice, we honour this shared humanity and create a ripple effect of positivity and transformation that extends far beyond the confines of our sessions.

Furthermore, that space of kindness is contagious. As coaches, when we embody kindness in our interactions with clients, we inspire them to do the same in their own lives. This ripple effect extends outward, creating a ripple effect of positivity and compassion that has the power to transform not only individuals but entire communities.

However, kindness towards yourself is a great gift you can also give yourself. I speak to so many coaches that find it easy to be kind to others but set much harsher rules to live by in their own heads! Recognising that’s what’s going on and choosing a kinder, more gentle, approach can have a huge difference on your own experience. Countercry to many peoples fears still results in you getting things done etc.

I invite you to pick a period of time – it could be a month, an entire week or if that feels too long for you at this moment just an hour and just allow yourself to be kind to yourself as you go about your life. If you find yourself being harsh at any point, my suggestion would be, rather than adding criticism for failing to be kind, just acknowledge that you caught a habit of thinking and choose to be kinder instead.

In conclusion, J.M. Barrie’s quote serves as a poignant reminder of the profound impact of kindness in our coaching practice. From a Three Principles perspective, kindness is more than just a virtue – it is a guiding principle that shapes our interactions, fosters deeper connections, and facilitates transformative growth. As coaches, let us embrace kindness as a new rule of life, striving always to be a little kinder than is necessary, and in doing so, create a world filled with compassion, understanding, and genuine human connection.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer, Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.

A Gentle Approach: Nurturing Kindness in Coaching Practice

 in quote  tagged coach / coaches / coaching / gentle / George Ade / kindness / nurturing / quote
This image is looking down onto what looks like a heart shaped cookie cutter sat on a white surface. Within the heart shape are seeds that are filled up and level with the top of the cookie cutter. Outside of the contained seeds is a gap and then seeds are strewn apparently more randomly and not as contained. The text reads: "In scattering seeds of kindness, do it by hand and not by machine." (George Ade)

Happy Saturday! Today’s quote is:

“In scattering seeds of kindness, do it by hand and not by machine.” (George Ade)

As coaches, our primary aim is to nurture growth, foster development, and inspire positive change in our clients. We strive to empower them to reach their fullest potential, guiding them through challenges and celebrating their successes. However, I think that particularly when you are first starting coaching amidst the plethora of techniques and methodologies you come across, it’s easy to lose sight of the fundamental essence of coaching: the human connection.

George Ade’s timeless quote, “In scattering seeds of kindness, do it by hand and not by machine,” encapsulates a profound truth that resonates deeply with the philosophy of how I now approach coaching. In a world driven by efficiency and automation, it’s crucial for coaches to embrace the significance of being human in their practice.

My coaching now comes from the grounding of the understanding that our experience of life is created from the inside out, through the interplay of thought, consciousness, and mind. Unlike traditional coaching approaches that often focus on external strategies and behaviour modification, my coaching now delves into the core of human experience, emphasizing the innate wisdom and resilience within each individual and use that understanding to get new insights on actions to take etc. I’ve found that such understanding also allows life to be navigated in a much gentler fashion so that when unexpected challenges do appear they can be handled with more grace and patience.

While my coaching approach prioritises understanding the internal dynamics of the human experience, it doesn’t imply passivity. Instead, it encourages us to trust our intuition, wisdom, and creativity, allowing us to navigate challenges with grace and patience. By aligning with our inner guidance rather than imposing external strategies, we find a harmonious balance between productivity and personal fulfilment. I find it’s a kinder way for us to treat ourselves and still get things done.

In essence, it does seem to me that coaching is about sowing the seeds of kindness, understanding, and compassion in the fertile soil of human consciousness. It’s about cultivating an environment where clients feel seen, heard, and valued for who they truly are, beyond their roles, titles, or achievements.

If we are to look at the whole quote in the context of coaching, what does it mean for coaches to “scatter seeds of kindness by hand”? For me, it means approaching coaching with a genuine spirit of empathy and presence, where every interaction is imbued with warmth, sincerity, and respect. It means taking the time to truly listen to our clients, not just to their words, but also to the deeper currents of their thoughts and emotions.

In practical terms, this might involve creating a safe and non-judgmental space where clients feel comfortable expressing their vulnerabilities and exploring their innermost thoughts. It might mean offering words of encouragement and support, not as empty platitudes, but as genuine reflections of our belief in their potential for growth and transformation. It’s about allowing the conversation to unfold naturally and authentically, rather than relying on pre-determined directions or habitual questions. By staying present and attuned to the client’s needs, we can foster a deeper level of understanding and connection.

Moreover, “scattering seeds of kindness by hand” entails recognizing and honouring the unique humanity of each individual we work with. It means seeing beyond their surface behaviours or presenting problems and acknowledging the inherent worth and dignity within them. It means embracing a coaching approach that is holistic, inclusive, and deeply respectful of the diversity of human experience.

In a world that often values speed and efficiency above all else, the practice of coaching offers a powerful antidote—a reminder of the timeless wisdom that resides in human connection and within our authentic selves. As coaches, we have the privilege and responsibility to nurture this connection, to tend to the garden of human consciousness with care and compassion.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer, Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.

Radiating Sunshine: Spreading Joy and Kindness in Coaching

 in quote  tagged coach / coaches / coaching / J. M. Barrie / joy / kindness / quote / sunshine
The background of this image is in a watercolour style with golden rays of sunshine emanating from the top blending into reds and oranges at the bottom of the image. The text reads: "Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves." (J. M. Barrie)

Happy Wednesday! Today’s quote is:

“Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.” (J. M. Barrie)

In the realm of coaching, we often encounter profound truths that resonate deeply with our understanding of human nature and our capacity for positive change. One such truth is beautifully encapsulated in the quote by J. M. Barrie: “Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.” This simple yet profound statement holds within it a wealth of insight into the interconnectedness of our actions and their impact on both others and ourselves.

At its core, this quote speaks to the power of kindness, compassion, and generosity—the qualities that allow us to uplift and inspire those around us. When we extend a helping hand, offer a listening ear, or share a moment of joy with others, we not only brighten their day but also nourish our own spirits. By spreading sunshine, we create an abundance of warmth and light that envelops not only those we touch but also ourselves.

But what does it mean to “bring sunshine into the lives of others”? It goes beyond acts of kindness or generosity; it’s about embodying qualities such as empathy, understanding, and love in our interactions with others. Being a source of positivity, encouragement, and support, even in the face of challenges or adversity, is essential. Whether it’s offering words of encouragement to a struggling friend, lending a helping hand to someone in need, or simply sharing a smile with a stranger, each act of kindness has the power to brighten someone’s day and lift their spirits.

Moreover, bringing sunshine into the lives of others is not just a selfless gesture—it’s also an act of self-care and nourishment. When we give freely of ourselves, whether it’s our time, attention, or love, we create a ripple effect of positivity that returns to us in unexpected ways. By shining our light into the world, we attract more light into our own lives, illuminating the path ahead and guiding us towards greater fulfillment and happiness.

In the context of coaching, this principle holds particular significance. As coaches, we have the privilege of guiding and supporting others on their journey of personal growth and transformation. By embodying the qualities of kindness, compassion, and positivity in our coaching practice, we not only empower our clients to thrive but also cultivate a sense of fulfillment and joy within ourselves. It’s a symbiotic relationship where both parties benefit from the exchange of positive energy and support.

Have you ever witnessed someone melt at the sight of a contented baby or a cute puppy/kitten? When someone is in that space of calm, peace, and wisdom, with little thinking on their mind, it can be infectious, with those around them often quieting down. It’s like a resonance.

The reason I like this quote in connection to coaching is because it speaks to the direction my coaching has headed—helping clients connect more with their own wisdom and creativity, while I guide them through exploration of that space.

In conclusion, J. M. Barrie’s quote reminds us of the profound truth that those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves. By embracing the power of kindness, compassion, and generosity, we uplift those around us and nourish our own spirits, experiencing greater fulfillment and happiness in our lives. As coaches, let us strive to embody these qualities in our practice and spread positivity wherever we go, knowing that in doing so, we create a brighter and more joyful world for all.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.

Random Acts of Kindness: A Reflection for Coaches

 in quote  tagged coaches / coaching / Frederick William Faber / kindness / quote
This is an illustration of a large healthy green tree. In the centre of the big trunk is a glowing light. The tree has many roots shooting downn into the ground and spreading out. There are many other trees around. The text reads "The single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make fresh trees." (Frederick William Faber.

Today marks Random Acts of Kindness Day, a perfect opportunity to reflect on the profound impact of kindness in our lives and those around us. As we “celebrate” this day, here’s today’s quote:

“The single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make fresh trees.” (Frederick William Fabe)

This quote beautifully captures the essence of kindness – its ability to spread far and wide, touching lives in ways we may never fully comprehend. It reminds us that even the smallest act of kindness can create a ripple effect, planting seeds of positivity and hope wherever it goes.

For me, this quote serves as an invitation to pause and reflect on the power of a single act of kindness. It prompts us to consider how we can incorporate kindness not only into our personal lives but also within our professional circles and, perhaps most importantly, towards ourselves.

So, I invite you to ponder the following questions:

1️⃣ In your business: What random act of kindness could you extend to your clients, colleagues, or partners? It could be as simple as sending a thoughtful note of appreciation or offering a helping hand to someone in need.

2️⃣ For those around you: How can you brighten someone else’s day with a random act of kindness? Whether it’s a friendly smile, a listening ear, or a small gesture of support, your kindness has the power to uplift and inspire those around you.

3️⃣ For yourself: In the midst of your busy schedule and responsibilities, how can you show yourself kindness and compassion? It could be carving out time for self-care, practicing gratitude, or simply acknowledging and celebrating your own accomplishments and strengths.

Take a moment to notice what arises as you reflect on these questions. Perhaps you’ll uncover a new opportunity to spread kindness or discover a deeper appreciation for the kindness already present in your life.

While the invitation is simply to reflect, if you feel called to take action on any of your answers, I encourage you to do so. Let us seize this day as an opportunity to sow seeds of kindness and compassion, knowing that even the smallest gesture can make a world of difference.

Have a wonderful Random Acts of Kindness Day, and please feel free to share your reflections in the comments below.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.

Nurturing Souls: The Impact of Kindness and Silence in Coaching

 in quote  tagged coach / coaching / guillaume apollinaire / kindness / quote / silence
Two silhutes of children stood hand in hand next to each other in a gap between some trees looking out into the distance into what looks like the red light at sun rise or sunset. The text above reads: "We mean to explore kindness and its enormous silences." (Guillaume Apollinaire)

Today’s quote is:

“We mean to explore kindness and its enormous silences.” (Guillaume Apollinaire)

I think this quote points to a couple of aspects that fall into the profound realms of coaching, where kindness and silence are not merely elements but guiding principles. In the coaching journey, kindness extends beyond niceties, and silence is not an absence but allows powerful presence to be noticed and wisdom accessed.

Kindness Beyond Surface Gestures:

Kindness in coaching transcends the superficial realm of politeness. It’s a dynamic force encompassing understanding, respect, and empathy. For many coaches, our role extends beyond guiding clients through their challenges; it involves creating a safe space where stories, fears, and aspirations can unfold without judgment. Kindness becomes part of the fabric that weaves the connection between coach and client, fostering an environment conducive to vulnerability and growth.

The Power of Silence:

Silence, often misunderstood as an absence, holds immense power in coaching. It is not a void but a canvas where unspoken thoughts and emotions find expression. Silence and quiet are also often descriptions used when people try to put words to describing that space of creativity, wisdom and inner guidance – where answers can bubble up seemingly from no where.

True listening goes beyond words, allowing for the exploration of what lies beneath the surface. The art of silence in coaching involves being present and attentive, providing clients with the space to reflect, process, and articulate their thoughts at their own pace.

Discussing Kindness and Silence with Clients:

For me, every coaching conversation is a unique journey, incorporating discussions about kindness and silence can be transformative and part of that path. The way I address kindness often involves encouraging clients to be gentle with themselves, fostering self-compassion in the face of challenges or seeing the innocence in a missunderstanding or belief. Discussing silence includes acknowledging its importance in the coaching process and assuring clients that it’s a space where insights can naturally emerge – so it’s OK to take a moment and not feel the need to fill the space with any words.

In my coaching practice, the interplay of kindness and silence is inherent in each session. I often encourage clients to embrace self-kindness, emphasizing that growth is a journey and not a destination. Silence, for me, is not an awkward pause but an opportunity for clients to dig deep within themselves. I reassure them that it’s perfectly okay to take the time needed for thoughts and answers to surface.

How does it fit in with your coaching? Is it something you consider? Maybe it’s not something you consider using a label such as kindness but do you recongise what I’m attempting to describe?

Impact on Coaching Approach:

The infusion of kindness and silence profoundly impacts my coaching approach. Kindness becomes the foundation upon which trust is built, and silence becomes the canvas where meaningful insights unfold. This approach fosters a collaborative journey of self-discovery and transformation. It’s about “hanging out” in that space where the human spirit is nurtured, and the profound magic of self-discovery unfolds.

How does kindness and silence shape your coaching approach? Share your thoughts and experiences below.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.

Embracing the Ripple Effect: The Power of Small Acts of Kindness

 in quote  tagged Aesop / coach / coaching / kindness / quote
This image has a background of watercoloured shades of greeens with a shades of brown in a band like soil across the bottom. an out stretched arm and hand with fingers outstretched has a painted heart balanced on top -similar to a pose you may find someone holding still with a butterfly on their hand. The text reads "No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted." (The lion and the mouse, Aesop)

Today’s quote of the day is:

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” (Aesop, The Lion and the Mouse)

In the bustling world of coaching, where transformative conversations and personal growth take center stage, it’s easy to overlook the profound impact of the simplest gestures. Today’s quote, a timeless nugget from Aesop’s fables, gently whispers a universal truth – every act of kindness, no matter its size, holds the potential to create a ripple effect of positivity.

The Unseen Power of Small Acts:

As coaches, we navigate the intricate tapestry of human experiences. In a quest for catalysing change and fostering growth, let’s not forget the potency of small, everyday acts of kindness. A smile, a compliment, a helping hand, or a listening ear – these seemingly mundane gestures might be the key to unlocking profound transformations for our clients and ourselves.

Kindness Beyond Boundaries:

Pause for a moment and reflect: What act of kindness could you perform today? A simple gesture that might go unnoticed by many but could mean the world to the person on the receiving end. Whether it’s within the coaching session or in your day-to-day interactions, explore the limitless possibilities of infusing kindness into every encounter.

I was reflecting upon kindness in a coaching session and because its not a label I specifically think about whilst I’m coaching it tool me a moment to think of examples that easily could fall into such a label. he intention behind asking a question gently that you suspect that a client may find difficult or coming from a none judgemental position when a client realises the complete innocence behind something they just got clarity about. Then there were the experiences as a potential client where I’d encountered great no-pressure kindness supoorting me before I’d even signed onto be a client.

What we may not give a moments thought about can be viewed by another as showing great kindness and be appreciated far more than we may realise. Though most of the instances I can think about to do with coaching all boils down to being connected with working from a space where a client feels safe and comfortable asking for support, connecting to their own inner wisdom, ensuring that anything they commit to is actually something they want to do. However, most of all it just seems the natural space to work from.

Kindness to Self – A Vital Element:

In the pursuit of spreading kindness, let’s not overlook the importance of being kind to ourselves. If your first thought wasn’t an act of kindness directed inward, ponder on what you could do today to show yourself some love. Recognize that, just like the ripples from a stone thrown into a pond, self-kindness has the power to echo outward, influencing your coaching practice and relationships.

Share Your Kindness Stories:

Have you experienced or witnessed the magic of small acts of kindness in your coaching journey? Whether you were the giver or the receiver, your stories have the potential to warm hearts and inspire. Let’s create a collective tapestry of kindness – share your anecdotes, reflections, and insights in the comments below.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen provides here.