Karen Wise


Recapping January – March 2012 guest posts 1

Over the next few days I’m going to briefly recap the last years worth of guest posts that appear here each Friday.

Today we start by looking at the first three months of this year.

Image showing first January on a diary with pen on isolated color background with fine clipping path.

January

In the first post of 2012 Amber Fogarty shared how she is in the “habit change business” discussing something she talks about a lot with clients in “Developing Better Habits”.

Coach and trainer Lorraine Hurst then followed with a post that could be of use to both yourself and your clients. “Blue Monday – what colour will yours be?” was published just prior to the third Monday of the year – read the post to see the significance of that date!

Coach and author of “Secrets of Successful Coaches”, Karen Williams, shared her expertise and knowledge in the third guest post of the year: “How does your mindset affect your business?” Read how Karen believes mindset, marketing and business knowledge will affect a successful coaching business.

The final post in January saw Karen Wise sharing a personal experience in the post “Relationship drama.” How familiar is this incident in either your own life or with what your clients tell you?

Image showing 14th February a Valentine day with heart symbol & message.

February

As we started the second month of the year, coach Marie Yates turned her attention to the action taken to the goals and plans made at the start of the New Year. This post contains a series of questions to assist you to make progress. Read “The warm up is complete… It is time for the main event.” 11 months since this was first published – what would your answers to these questions be today?

Liz Scott loves bringing coaches together to share experiences and knowledge. Her post focused upon “Parallel conversations and coaching”, using her personal experience as a lesson to be used in coaching sessions.

Lenny Deverill-West shared how he has been practically incorporating other teachings into his own work with clients. Read more about what he is doing in “The Coaching Aha!”

Social Media coach Nicky Kriel discussed errors she’s seen coaches make attempting one particular marketing approach. Are you making any of the blunders featured in “5 Big Mistakes that Life Coaches make Networking”?

March

March

Coach Richard Nugent invited you to “Explore Some Half Truths Of Coaching” with the aim of getting you to think about your own professional beliefs that could help you be more successful.

A coaching website is on many new coaches to do list, in the second guest post in March Mei Qi Tan shared her expertise and knowledge about what to focus upon. Read her post “Websites: It’s not just about content – it’s about users.”

Coach Angus MacLennan, who delivers practical Business Support to Business Owners, turned his attention to the subject that can have many new coaching business owners scratching their heads in the post “Niching Has Failed”

How to market your coaching is an often requested topic, in our next guest post coach Cindy Hillsey shared her expertise and knowledge in “Marketing and your Ideal Client”

In the final guest post in March Coach Toni Knights discussed what she considers to decide if it is necessary to refer clients for additional help, in her post “Identifying When Clients Need Counselling”

Visit tomorrow

Come back tomorrow for a post recapping April – June, or if you can’t wait, clicking here will bring a list of every post that has been published on this site labelled as a guest post.

January & Febuary image © Indianeye | Stock Free Images & Dreamstime Stock Photos
Visit tomorrow image © Renata2k | Stock Free Images & Dreamstime Stock Photos


Relationship Drama 3

In this week’s guest post Karen Wise shares a personal experience. How familiar is this for you and/or your clients?

Relationship Drama

by Karen Wise

My friend Rose called the other night. The conversation started like this:

“Karen, I really need to speak to you – I need your advice”

And then she started to whisper

“The thing is, I’ve been having an affair, and I don’t love my husband any more, and I just don’t know what to do”.

Rose and I have been friends for twenty years and she’s been with her husband for almost as long. She was one of my bridesmaids and both our kids were born weeks within each other. Rose has also lurched from life crisis to life crisis for the last two decades.

What I realised some time ago, is that Rose and I each have a role within, what psychologists call, the Drama Triangle (see diagramme below). Rose is always the “victim” with a crisis and I’m always there to rescue her.

victim recuer persecutor triangle diagram

Quite often we have more than one Drama Triangle in our lives, and with each one we’re playing a different role. With my husband, I have to admit, I frequently play the “Persecutor”. We can also find ourselves playing roles from the Drama Triangle at work, particularly during times of stress, when tight deadlines need to be met or mistakes have been made.

Most of the time, the Drama Triangle is useful in helping us manage day-to-day interactions. It might feel uncomfortable in the moment, but that tension makes either us or the other party shift their position to lead to a better outcome.

However, there are times when playing out the Drama Triangle isn’t helpful and could border on destructive. The negative behaviours can lead to a breakdown in trust, confidence and ultimately relationships.

If you find yourself in a Drama Triangle you have a choice. You can choose to step out of whatever role you’re playing. Don’t run away from the drama, but take a different approach to that of either a rescuer, persecutor or victim.

As I love my friend Rose, I’ve agreed to go out dinner this weekend to talk it all through with her. She has a major life decision to make, which won’t just affect her – but her husband and her two kids. I will help her through the most recent drama as for now, our relationship remains healthy and I’m happy to play the rescuer once again.

About the Author/Further Resources

Karen Wise, MCIPD is an Organisational Development Consultant and Coaching Psychologist, with over 12 years’ experience of working in Human Resources roles up to and including Director level within the NHS in the UK. Karen now runs her own consultancy and coaching business, with a particular interest in outplacement coaching. She has recently been awarded an MSc in Coaching Psychology from the University of East London. You can follow Karen on twitter (karenwise) and read her weekly blog on working in HR in the NHS at www.karenwise.wordpress.co


5 Tips when starting a new job 1

In this week’s guest post Karen Wise shares her expertise as an Organisational Development Consultant and Coaching Psychologist about starting a new job.

5 Tips when starting a new job

By Karen Wise

Starting a new job is never easy. There’s lots of “new” things – new colleagues, new environment, new boss, and generally new ways of doing things.

But how often do you think about the fact that You are the “new” person? Whilst you’re on a massive learning curve about your new organisation and role, the people around you are also learning about who you are, how you think, your behaviours and responses to the every-day things that occur in the office.

It’s just as important that they learn the right things about you as you are inducted into the organisation.

Because of the nature of my work I’m always the “new” person – so I have developed a few techniques to help me. Below are a few tips to think about when you next start a new job and how to make the most of it:

1) Pictures of Family & Friends.

Most workplaces allow you to bring in personal items such as photos of your family, your friends. I often bring in a recent picture that my kids have drawn and I find that it’s a great ice-breaker. Asking someone about these pictures is an easy way to start a conversation with new colleagues and a way to get to know them better beyond the job they do.

2) What are you good at?

It may be that you’ve able to manage difficult conversations with irate customers; or you’re able to touch-type at 90+ wpm. Find opportunities within the first few days of starting your new job to demonstrate this skill.

3) Give positive feedback:

In the first few weeks you’ll come across a lot of new and different things. If you see, hear or learn about something that you find interesting – tell them. If you like the way that someone does something – tell them. People like getting feedback when it’s compliment and it also highlights to them about what you like or enjoy too.

4) “The Test”.

It’s very likely that in the first few days or you’ll be given a particularly important job or task to do. View this as “The Test”. Think carefully about what’s required; ask questions if you need to clarify your understanding of what’s required; put extra effort in to ensure that you do this job to the highest standard possible; and make sure you do it within the required timeframe.

5) Lastly, believe in yourself.

Always remember that you were recruited to the post because your boss believed that you could do the job. You will probably have many doubts within the first few days or weeks about whether or not you’re good enough. When you have these thoughts just stop. And remember. You were recruited because you have the potential to do really well in this job. Believe in yourself.

About the Author/Further Resources

Karen Wise, MCIPD is an Organisational Development Consultant and Coaching Psychologist, with over 12 years’ experience of working in Human Resources roles up to and including Director level within the NHS in the UK. Karen now runs her own consultancy and coaching business, with a particular interest in outplacement coaching. She is also currently undertaking a Masters Degree in Coaching Psychology at the University of East London. You can follow Karen on twitter (karenwise) and read her weekly blog on working in HR in the NHS at www.karenwise.wordpress.com


Is there a public misperception about coaching? 5

In this weeks guest post Karen Wise shares her views about the public perception of coaching. She also invites you to participate in a survey to gain your views.

Is there a public misperception about coaching?

By Karen Wise

Over the last year, I have found myself having a similar conversation with my friends, relatives and clients: “What is coaching?”

Before you all start shouting the answer, I want you to stop and think…….

Because I have been on a journey to explore what people understand about coaching, and the answer is not that obvious. Every coach I know can readily give you a definition of what coaching is, but can Joe Public?

My research has led me to understand that there are 10 definitions that are widely recognised and used by professional bodies and organisations. And as coaching professionals, we’re encouraged to develop our own definition of coaching that represents the “way we do it”.

And then what happens in a session? How long is it? Is it face-to-face, over the telephone or via email? How often do you meet your coaches?

Again, I can already hear a thousand different answers. And surely all these different ways of being coached is confusing for potential coachees?

We are working in a growing industry which is unregulated. In order to find our place in the market, we develop our “niche”. And whilst this generates clients and income, does it actually contribute to a public misperception of what coaching really is?

I feel that it’s more important than ever that the coaching industry becomes regulated so that we can start giving out consistent, positive messages about the profession: coaching can so powerful, enabling and rewarding for both the coach and coachee when it’s done well. Perhaps it’s already too late, and the current level of diversification has diluted our profession to a point from which we cannot recover. I hope not.

So I continue on my journey and I am currently undertaking a piece of research on this topic. If you’re interested in contributing to my research, please click on the link below which will take you to a survey. It will only take 5 minutes to complete and your responses will be completely anonymous.

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/GTGNTZK

About the Author/Further Resources

Karen Wise, MCIPD is an Organisational Development Consultant and Coaching Psychologist, with over 12 years’ experience of working in Human Resources roles up to and including Director level within the NHS in the UK. Karen now runs her own consultancy and coaching business, with a particular interest in outplacement coaching. She is also currently undertaking a Masters Degree in Coaching Psychology at the University of East London. You can follow Karen on twitter (karenwise) and read her weekly blog on working in HR in the NHS at www.karenwise.wordpress.com