An Alternative Mantra to ‘Think Positive’
In this weeks guest post, talent coach, Richard Nugent shares his expertise and approach to “motivational coaching”.
An Alternative Mantra to ‘Think Positive’
by Richard Nugent
As a coach with a background in NLP and a bucket full of other positive psychology you would think that my clients would regular be coached to ‘think positive’. After all that’s what us ‘motivational coaches’ do right?
However I think that ship has sailed. Many perspective clients have tried the whole positive thinking thing and it hasn’t really worked for them. Where does that leave us? I don’t think that positive psychology should be ditched and we should go back to the days of trawling through clients’ past for sessions upon end to enable their future. Instead I think as a profession we should look for new distinctions in the field to help our clients think more clearly.
My experience of 3 principles based work has certainly helped me become more aware of my thoughts and the ‘reality’ that they create for me. This in turn has of course helped me create new insights and more distinctions for clients. Here is a very simple example of this in action.
A recent meeting in the south meant a 5am start for me and a ninety minute drive either side of a full day of thinking, challenging and learning. My return journey to the airport was halted by a closed motorway and after a lengthy spell stuck in traffic and a missed flight the realisation that a five hour drive home beckoned. I was speaking to a client during the trip back up north who asked how I managed to be positive even at a time like this. It struck me that having to think positive as well as driving safely, finding my way home and communicating with my family just felt like an extra chore.
For me the distinction between positive thinking and useful thinking is a small but powerful one. I became aware that ‘getting positive’ about not getting home until 1am after a long day would be a task, however also being aware that being unhappy, angry or blaming the world for it would not get me home any quicker at all. Acceptance of the situation, gratitude that I had been delayed by an accident rather than involved in it and a focus on being present in the task (driving safely) was a much more useful frame. Notice the ‘useful’ frame rather than positive.
Those of you who are experienced coaches this awareness of thought should not be new, but my experience of sharing the distinction with a client – and an experienced client at that – highlighted again that we are lucky enough to have insights that are natural and obvious to us that others aren’t aware of.
Try this simple exercise.
Reflect on your last five coaching sessions
List the interventions, solutions or models that you used to move you clients close to where they want to be
Now chunk this list a step further, ‘stuff other coaches probably know’ ‘stuff most clients know’ ‘stuff not many other people on the planet know’.
You could probably use this as a catalyst for an article or even product but for me the purpose of this is simply to become more consciously aware of your own thinking and your thoughts.
My guess is that as you explore your thinking, you will find that you have your own pretty unqiue take on positive thinking which helps your clients create more of the world that they want. It is unlikely to be directly aligned with early nineties ‘happy clappy high fives all round’ approach nor is it likely to be the ‘sit where you are, think positive and all will come to you’ approach popularised in the last decade. Whatever your philosophy is in this specific area can you describe your distinction?
I would love to hear it (email ri*****@*************ng.com) and I bet your clients would too.
About ‘The Talent Coach’
Richard works with talented people in the fields of business and sport – and has been for almost a decade. Those who he has worked with all say the same thing: they have achieved more than they thought was possible because of his support and insight.
He has helped leaders in international brands such as Lego, Merlin Entertainments and Tesco to realise their potential while his work with professional footballers, managers and cricketers has led to trophy winning performances and multimillion pound transfers.
Entrepreneurs with the commitment to work with Richard reshape businesses, unlock the secrets of financial success and discover the answer to the ultimate question for business owners – how do I balance my work and personal life?