judgement

A Shift in Perspective: Understanding Abigail Adams’ Wisdom

 in quote  tagged Abigail Adams / circumstances / coach / coaches / coaching / judgement / perspective / quote
A light blue wall meats the same shade blue floor, though shadow and lighting makes it easy to see the 3 dimensional nature of that. To the right is a post with 6 arrows all pointing either approximatley north east or north west from the viewers perspective. These white signs all appear to be blank. The text to the left reads: "But let no person say what they would or would not do, since we are not judges for ourselves until circumstances call us to act." (Abigail Adams)

Today’s quote is:

“But let no person say what they would or would not do, since we are not judges for ourselves until circumstances call us to act.” (Abigail Adams)

In this quote, Abigail Adams challenges the notion of preconceived judgments and underscores the importance of context in determining our actions. She reminds us that it is only when faced with real-life circumstances that we truly understand the depths of our convictions and the choices we make. Let’s delve deeper into this thought-provoking quote and explore its relevance in our lives today.

Adams’ words resonate with the uncertainty and unpredictability of life. Often, we find ourselves forming opinions and making declarations about what we would or would not do in certain situations. However, such assertions are based on speculation rather than lived experience. We may believe we know ourselves well, but it is only when confronted with the complexities of real-life scenarios that our true character is tested.

Consider, for example, a hypothetical scenario where someone proclaims they would never compromise their values for personal gain. While this declaration may seem noble in theory, it is only when faced with a moral dilemma in the heat of the moment that one’s true convictions are put to the test. Circumstances have a remarkable way of challenging our beliefs and forcing us to confront our innermost values.

Judgement

Moreover, Adams’ insight highlights the fallibility of human judgment. We are often quick to judge others based on their actions without considering the context in which those actions occurred. However, as Adams suggests, we cannot fully understand another person’s choices until we have walked in their shoes. What may seem like a clear-cut decision from the outside may be far more complex when viewed from the individual’s perspective.

Furthermore, Adams’ words urge us to embrace humility in our interactions with others. Instead of passing judgment or making assumptions about someone else’s behavior, we should strive to cultivate empathy and understanding. Recognizing that we are not the ultimate arbiters of truth allows us to approach situations with an open mind and a willingness to learn from different perspectives.

In today’s world, where social media and instant communication often fuel snap judgments and knee-jerk reactions, Adams’ wisdom serves as a timely reminder to pause and reflect before rushing to conclusions. Rather than jumping to conclusions based on incomplete information, we should strive to withhold judgment until we have all the facts.

Perspective

What this quote also points towards is that our experiences of our cirmcumstances is directly a result of our thinking in that moment. So if you are in a low mood with lots of rubbish thinking you could react differently to the same minor inconvienience then if you had been in a great mood with not a lot on your mind.

I have found that if you have an understanding about that’s just how we work as humans that it’s much easier not to make knee jerk reactions because of low moods. I tend to be more aware that with that thinking going on that its not a great time to make life changing decisions or say something that will make situations worse.

An awareness and trust in the existance in our own innate wisdom also means that it is often easier to notice and listen to any guidance that shows up in the moment – you may think of that as intuition or a gut feeling. It’s something that operates in the now, rather than when we project our thinking into the future to try and predict what we would do. Which means that in any moment we have the possibility of something occuring to you in that moment that would never have occured to you before.

In conclusion, Abigail Adams’ quote serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of humility, empathy, and open-mindedness in our interactions with others. By recognizing the limitations of our own judgment and embracing the complexities of human experience, we can cultivate a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world around us. Ultimately, it is only through the crucible of real-life circumstances that our true character is revealed, and our capacity for empathy and compassion is tested.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.

Beyond Judgment: Creating a Coaching Space of Understanding and Acceptanc

 in quote  tagged authenticity / coach / coaches / coaching / judgement / quote / Rumi
Thius is a dreamlike image. In the distance there is a treeline with a golden sunrise coming over the horizon so the sky is yellow and red blending into a nights sky with stars. A rolling green field fills the rest of the image with golden sparkly specks in the air adding to that dreamlike feel. It has a tranquil sense, a space of no judgement. The text reads: "Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there." (Rumi)

Happy Monday! Today’s quote is:

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” (Rumi)

Rumi’s words resonate deeply with the essence of what coaching means to me, offering a profound invitation to transcend the limitations of judgment and embrace the boundless realm of understanding and connection. It’s one of those quotes that feels like it’s pointing towards something of real impact but finding the words to describe this does not do it justice.

Reflecting on Rumi’s profound invitation to transcend judgment and embrace understanding, I’m reminded of the transformative potential inherent in coaching relationships. For me, that field is like being wrapped in a duvet of love – safe and secure, yet vast and expansive. It’s a deeply personal space, yet simultaneously expansive and boundless.

In this tranquil and peaceful environment, new thoughts and creativity seem to flow effortlessly, transforming what once appeared as insurmountable challenges into manageable situations. When coaching, this space sets the stage for deep exploration and growth, inviting clients to step beyond the constraints of judgment and into a realm of openness and acceptance.

To me, coaching is about meeting clients where they are, without judgment, and working collaboratively from that place. In recent conversations with clients, I’ve noticed a common theme: fear of judgment often holds them back, even from the very beginning of our work together.

In light of meeting clients without judgment, a cornerstone of my coaching practice is fostering an environment where clients are comfortable being honest and truthful. As a coach, I value honesty and truthfulness from my clients. When clients aren’t fully truthful, it’s usually because their perception of the world differs from mine, and they genuinely believe what they’re saying, or they fear judgment and believe it reflects negatively on them. I don’t see my clients as broken or flawed; underneath their tangled thoughts, they’re whole and capable individuals. I approach each session with an open mind, without making judgments about what they’ve yet to uncover.

Instead of viewing situations through the lens of judgment and criticism, coaches can guide their clients to explore beyond these constructs, fostering an environment of empathy, compassion, and mutual respect.

By helping clients move beyond their limiting beliefs and thought patterns, coaches empower them to access their innate capacity for resilience, creativity, and insight. This allows for transformative breakthroughs and personal growth, fostering deeper connections and relationships.

In coaching conversations, approaching with a sense of curiosity and openness, free from the constraints of right and wrong, can lead to profound insights and understanding. In this space of non-judgmental listening and exploration, clients are empowered to navigate their challenges with clarity and confidence.

Ultimately, Rumi’s quote reminds us of the transformative power of understanding and empathy, principles that I feel lie at the heart of effective coaching. In the field beyond right and wrong, we find the fertile ground for authentic connection and meaningful relationships. I invite you to heed Rumi’s invitation and venture into this field, where compassion and understanding flourish, and where the seeds of peace and harmony are sown.

Ready to experience coaching without judgment? Schedule an initial chat or drop me an email to start your journey towards growth and authenticity

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.

Breaking Free from Judgments: A Friday Reflection for Coaches

 in quote  tagged coach / coaching / Henry Wadsworth Longfellow / judgement / quote
The background colour is similar to an old parchment shade. In a black watercolour style border gives smudges in the corners of the image. Black text in that space reads: "We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done" (Henry Wadsworth Longfellow)

Today’s coaching quote of the day is:

“We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.” (Henry Wadsworth Longfellow)

As we welcome the first Friday of 2024, let’s pause and reflect on the words encapsulated in today’s quote by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. “We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.” I think that this quote invites coaches to delve into the dynamics of self-judgment and the impact it may have on both personal and professional growth.

The Paradox of Self-Judgments:

Longfellow’s words illuminate a paradox that many of us grapple with – the disjunction between our internal assessment of our capabilities and the external judgments based on our past actions. As coaches, it prompts us to consider whether the perceptions we hold of ourselves align with the judgments others make based on our track record.

Limiting Potential Based on External Perceptions:

The invitation to ponder extends beyond our personal reflections to the clients we guide. Are you, or your clients, constraining potential based on past achievements or failures? Longfellow’s quote prompts a critical examination of whether these judgments, whether self-imposed or externally influenced, are inadvertently hindering the exploration of new possibilities and personal growth.

The Liberation from Past Definitions:

Consider this: What if your past doesn’t dictate your future? What if the constraints we place on ourselves, fueled by judgments, are merely thought created illusions? Coaches are uniquely positioned to guide individuals through a transformative journey, challenging them to break free from the limitations of past achievements and embrace the boundless potential that lies ahead.

The Art of Predicting the Unpredictable:

Longfellow’s quote raises an intriguing question: What if we are simply bad at predicting the future or the duration it “should” take to achieve a goal? Coaches can facilitate a mindset shift by encouraging clients to relinquish rigid timelines and embrace the fluidity of progress. Sometimes, the most remarkable transformations unfold when we release the need for predetermined schedules and allow growth to take its organic course.

A Day Off from Self-Judgment:

As we navigate the complexities of self-judgment, here’s a Friday challenge: What if you took the day off from judging yourself? What if you granted yourself the grace to be a work in progress, free from the weight of past judgments? This simple act of self-compassion can pave the way for a renewed perspective and a more empowering journey ahead.

Conclusion:

In the spirit of Longfellow’s quote, let’s use this Friday as an opportunity for reflection and liberation. Release the shackles of self-judgment, challenge the constraints of past achievements, and embrace the infinite possibilities that lie beyond. As coaches, let’s guide ourselves and our clients toward a future untethered by judgments, where the journey is as important as the destination. Have a fantastic and judgment-free Friday!

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.