“It is a greater compliment to be trusted than to be loved.”

(George MacDonald)

The subject of trust was mentioned in a comment by Dave Doran to my recent post “How to ask hard questions.”  When trust exists in a coaching relationship I find that it makes a massive difference and I thought it deserved some more discussion.

Before I go any further with this it seems appropriate that I spend a moment talking about what trust actually is. After all it’s not as if we can nip own to the local supermarket and buy a tin of trust or “pick it up and put it in a wheelbarrow.”

Looking up the word trust in the dictionary it gives definitions for the use of the term as a noun and as a verb.

I often get the impression when coaches speak of trust they are talking about clients trusting them by being honest and open to new perspectives.

Are we as coaches passive in this particular aspect of the coaching relationship? Is it something that we just expect clients to do without our input?

As with many questions I ask on this site, I think if you have already got a style, system, methodology etc that works for you and your clients I wouldn’t dream of suggesting you “should” be doing something another way.

My personal response to the questions above is that I place my focus on demonstrating trustworthy behaviours, or as the dictionary would say being “worthy of trust and reliable.”

Notice I deliberately talk about demonstrating trustworthy behaviours rather than being trustworthy. That in itself is perhaps deserving of a post in its own right but for now I’ll just say that this helps to focus upon what you can do and away from getting caught up listening to any “I’m not worthy” thoughts.

“Just as trust comes from trustworthiness, trustworthiness comes from character and competence, the fruit is wisdom and judgement – the foundation of all great and lasting achievement and trust.”

(Stephen R Covey)

So for you what behaviours are connected with someone who is trustworthy?

For me, making and keeping promises, apologizing if something does go wrong and involving others when necessary are some aspects of being trustworthy.  Demonstrating these can be as simple as keeping appointment times when arranged or happily referring people to other products/individuals if they are a better fit than my own work.

What I don’t recall hearing discussed much is the trust, as a coach, you have in your client. Yet, for me, this is such a powerful aspect of how I coach.

So how much trust do you give your clients? Stephen R Covey says “Trust becomes a verb when you communicate to others their worth and potential so clearly that they are inspired to see it in themselves.”

It’s one of the things I’m checking when I first chat with a potential client – can I place trust in the fact that this individual has the power within them to choose and to change. I don’t recall having a conversation when I’ve not been able to do that but if the day ever comes than I know that I’m not the best coach for that person.

I leave you with a final quote for now:

“Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is; treat a man as he can and should be and he will become as he can and should be.”

(Goethe)

What role does trust play in your coaching?

Do you do anything to encourage trust, or does it just happen naturally?

If you have any comments or thoughts you’d like to share feel free to add those below and click submit comment.