fear


Acting from Fear vs Love 1

Coach Louise Gillespie-Smith shares her thoughts and experience in today’s guest post:

"Acting from Fear vs Love" A guest post by Louise Gillespie-Smith

Acting from Fear vs Love

By Louise Gillespie-Smith

Most of the time as a life coach I am really living my dream; I am inspired, I am enjoying doing the things I love and I am empowering people to live a life they love too. Then there are other times when I find myself behaving from a totally different place, from fear.

I can recognise it now, it’s like I have had a double espresso even though I don’t drink caffeine anymore. An anxious feeling starts to burn in my heart, my actions are frenzied and I am not connected to who I really am at all.

Surely a life coach doesn’t feel fear?! GASP!

Coaches are seen as such positive inspirational people that it can be hard to admit to feeling like this to others and even to myself sometimes. However we are all human and sometimes it’s natural to get a bit scared, it’s what you do with the fear that matters. What you resist does indeed persist so acknowledging the signals that you are in the fear zone is the first step to turning it in to love, which is our true nature.

At the core of our being is love, this is who we are and this is what we have to share with the world. We have chosen to walk down the path of being coaches to support and empower people to be who they truly are. So it’s important that we do the same for ourselves!

Following are a few things I have found that work for me to bring myself out of the fear zone and into acting from a place of love;

  • Go outside and connect with the earth. Fear is in our minds, when we are caught up with self-talk we are not grounded or in our bodies at all. If I notice myself tensing up, thoughts spinning round and round I’ll stop what I am doing and go outside. Even if it’s just for 10 minutes I will feel the earth beneath my feet, I’ll listen to the birds, I’ll watch the sun sparkling on the sea, where ever I am I will take a few moments to bring myself back to the present moment right here right now.
  • Remind yourself “there is only ever this moment and right now I have a choice of who I am being, which parts of my personality I wish to draw upon”.
  • Meditate, I find this one particularly works:

Sit in silence for a few minutes paying attention to the rise and fall breath

Start to think about all the things you are grateful for

Start to bring to mind your fear and then release it to God/ The Universe

Pay attention to your heart beating, feel every sensation, consciously use your intention to slow it down.

Send your intention to feel your heart beating in your hands and to feel the warmth grow in them.

Finally repeat an affirmation that works for you. For example “I am safe and totally protected by the Universe/ God, all is well”.

  • Get into your body by doing some exercise, I teach yoga and find this perfect for calming my mind down. Dance also really connects me with my body. Do something that works for you.
  • Ask what will bring me joy? Then do that. For us to be able to help others we need to be taking care of ourselves. Self-love is crucial for us to have the energy and inspiration to help others.

I’ve got to admit I find writing a blog for other coaches slightly daunting as I am sure you will already know lots of this stuff already but I also know that sometimes we just need a little reminder! Being kind and loving to yourself is what is going to help you be able to share your love and support with everyone else you come into contact with.

About the Author/Further Resources

Louise Gillespie-Smith runs a business called Create Yourself which empowers and supports people in making positive change in their life. She has a holistic toolkit of resources, life coaching/NLP/ yoga/ reiki/ image consultancy, to create individually tailored packages based on what each client needs. lo****@***************co.uk /07779 150886.

Find Louise and Create Yourself on Facebook at www.facebook.com/CREATEYOURSELF and follow Louise on Twitter at www.twitter.com/LouiseatCreate

 


Lesson 9: Procrastination 2

Coach Julia Neiman shares her expertise and knowledge in today’s guest post:

An introduction by today’s guest poster coach Julia Neiman:

The following “Lesson” is an excerpt from my new Ebook, 31 Powerful Lessons: Empowering Teens and Young Adults to Develop an Entrepreneur Mindset. While the majority of my clients over the years have been transitional age youth from 18 to 25 years old, I am now coaching parents, teachers, coaches, mentors, social workers and others who work with this age group. Procrastination is something that I find affects people of all ages and as coaches, I’m sure you’ve seen this in your clients and perhaps even have a touch of it yourself. I know I do.

In this lesson, I present 5 common beliefs and attitudes that lead to procrastination in the hopes that coming to understand why we procrastinate can lead to our breaking this habit. I hope you find it useful.

Julia Neiman guest post about Procrastination

Lesson 9: Procrastination

by Julia Neiman

Telling ourselves and others that we are going to do something is a far cry from actually doing it. The distance between intention and behavior is often quite large. Statistics show that for every intention 1 in 2 people will end up not following through on their planned action. That’s a lot of nothing getting done.

One of the causes of this is the action of constantly putting things off, known as procrastination. A key attribute of procrastination is a tendency to over think a particular course of action to the point that you spend most your time thinking rather than actually doing. This state is commonly known as paralysis by analysis. I’ve been known to procrastinate once in a while. I try not to allow myself to do that because it leads to feeling overwhelmed then I just want to crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head.

Sometimes by thinking less we are able to achieve more.

Here are five common beliefs and attitudes that lead to the debilitating effects of procrastination:

1. The possibility of failure

Many people talk themselves out of working towards their goals because they are afraid they may fail. To their way of thinking, by not taking action they are able protect themselves from the possibility of failure.

Most procrastinators have a strong idea of what they want, but often the fear of failure and the thoughts that surround this paralyzing emotion are so intense that productivity is slowed down or stops altogether.

2. The perfectionist syndrome

Another common attitude within the mindset of a procrastinator is the need for everything to be perfect before work commences. Often this involves optimizing one’s environment and work space so that maximum comfort and ease is created.

The problem with this mindset is that working environments are never ideal, and never will be, unless you are prepared to invest a significant amount of your own time creating the ultimate work environment.

Understand that there is no substitute for real productive action, so even if your workplace is not ideal it is advisable to forge ahead nevertheless. Thank goodness I’m not a perfectionist because my workspace is far from ideal.

3. The finite resource of time

Arguably a huge bias in the procrastinator’s thinking is the belief that time is an infinite resource. The common excuse “I will do it tomorrow” usually stems from an unconscious belief that there will always be time. Unfortunately this is not true, and for many procrastinators they end up looking back over their lives regretting they didn’t take the opportunities when they were presented to them.

It is so easy to fall into the trap of thinking like this, which is why if you are presented with a good idea, it is advisable that you act on it immediately.

4. Stepping into the unknown

Acting on your intentions often requires a leap of faith. Embarking on a worthwhile project always contains elements of the unknown.

The problem with many procrastinators is that they are terrified of taking a leap of faith into the unknown. They want a guarantee that their efforts will not be in vain.

This may result in the procrastinator doing unnecessary research in an attempt to further control the likelihood of their actions becoming a success. Obviously planning is important before beginning any major task, but at the same time excessive planning can inhibit your ability to act at the right times.

5. Action should be easy

Another component of the procrastinator’s limiting mindset is the belief that everything, when taking constructive action towards their long-term goals will be plain sailing. Whenever hard work and long hours is mentioned a procrastinator is likely to put off whatever course of action they need to take.

All worthwhile projects involve overcoming difficulties and obstacles, and the procrastinator is often someone who foolishly believes that getting what you want shouldn’t be anything but easy.

What’s on the other side of procrastination?

If you can get past the mindset of the procrastinator, and you can begin actively working towards your goal, you may find that it becomes increasingly difficult to stop. You will find that over time you begin building up momentum towards your goals, to the point where everything is taken in your stride. There is no doubt about it, starting something is always the hardest part, but once you get in the grove your work flow will become more natural and easy.

“An object at rest tends to stay at rest; an object in motion tends to stay in motion” Sir Isaac Newton

About the Author/Further Resources

Julia NeimanJulia Neiman is the Founder of Transform For Life, an online coaching program for teens, and Executive Director of Group Home Consultants, a nonprofit that provides independent living skills training to transition age foster youth.

Julia has 20 years of experience working with troubled teens. She believes that their dreams matter and is passionate about helping them learn to make those dreams come true. To that end, Julia has just written her first book, 31 Powerful Lessons: Empowering Teens and Young Adults to Develop an Entrepreneur Mindset. The book is currently available only at her website as an ebook. Later this year the book will be available both as an audio book and a bound book.

Visit Julia’s website at http://www.julianeiman.com for a free download of a great organizational tool entitled, Get Stuff Done. Then check the Free Downloads Page for more free stuff.