failure


Beyond Mistakes: Coaching Questions to Inspire Action and Self-Compassion

The image features two directional signs positioned at an angle, illustrating contrasting ideas. The sign pointing to the left is red and labelled “NOTHING” in bold white letters, while the sign pointing to the right is yellow and labelled “ALL” in bold black letters. Beneath the signs, there is a quote in large, clear font that reads: "Only he who does nothing makes a mistake" This quote is attributed to a French proverb. The background is simple and white, allowing the signs and text to stand out prominently.

The quote of the day is:

“Only he who does nothing makes a mistake” (French Proverb)

Questions For Coaches:

  • How do you currently handle mistakes in your personal or professional life?
  • What role do mistakes play in driving innovation and creativity?
  • How does your perception of mistakes affect your willingness to take action?
  • Is choosing to do nothing always a mistake?

Bonus Questions:

  • What insights arise when you reflect on past inactions and their impact on your life?
  • How do you define failure, and how does that influence your willingness to take action?
  • What role does self-compassion play in helping you move past the fear of making mistakes?
  • Is there an area of your life where you are more reluctant to take action in case it is an error?
  • In what ways can you support clients in taking action despite their fear of it not working?

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is a transformative coach dedicated to empowering individuals to get out of their own way and make a meaningful impact in the world. With an impactful, nurturing coaching style, Jen supports clients in unlocking their potential and achieving their goals. As an experienced coach and trainer, she guides clients from self-doubt to success.

Discover how Jen can support you to get out of your own way here.


Don’t Fail to Try: The Cost of Missed Opportunities

To try and fail is at least to learn to fail to try is to suffer the inestimable loss of what might have been. Chester Barnard 600 x 400

The quote of the day is:

“To try and fail is at least to learn; to fail to try is to suffer the inestimable loss of what might have been.” (Chester Barnard)

Chester Barnard was an American business executive and author from the first half of the 20th century. As a coach you have probably, either experienced for yourself or seen in your clients an inertia because of a fear of something not working out so no action is taken unless success is guaranteed.

Many people have at least one topic which seems very serious to them, which means they feel they need to be extra cautious – business and money are two common ones. Every decision is meticulously planned, risks are calculated to the smallest detail, and actions are only taken when every step has been considered—sometimes in triplicate. This approach seems rooted in common sense, emphasising logic and practicalities in the real world.

However, sometimes this meticulous planning becomes a barrier rather than a bridge. People find themselves stuck, unwilling to take any physical action unless they are 100% certain that everything will go smoothly without any unforeseen circumstances arising. But here’s the thing: life happens. Unforeseen circumstances are a part of any journey, and encountering them doesn’t mean the whole project is a failure—unless you decide to stop and give up entirely.

Yet there are others who in these areas do not approach those same topics in that manner. They may put something in place to mitigate anything that potentially won’t go to plan, but that doesn’t stop them taking any action. They may take it one step at a time and evaluate as they progress – allowing for learning to happen and things to be seen that wouldn’t have been evident if no action had been taken.

In my experience, life “lifes”! It’s a whimsical way of saying that life is unpredictable and ever-changing. No matter how much we plan, there’s always an element of the unknown. And that’s okay. It’s in these unexpected moments that we often find opportunities for growth and learning.

The fear of failure can be paralysing. It can prevent us from seizing opportunities that could lead to significant advancements, both personally and professionally. Chester Barnard’s quote reminds us that even in failure, there is value. To try and fail is to learn; it’s a step forward, not a step back. On the other hand, failing to try is an immeasurable loss—the loss of potential experiences, growth, and achievements that might have been.

So, how can we move past this fear and embrace the possibility of failure as a learning opportunity? Here are some things to consider:

Embracing the Journey Over the Destination

Firstly, it’s essential to shift our focus from the outcome to the process. When we concentrate solely on the end result, we miss out on the valuable experiences that come with the journey. Each step, each misstep, teaches us something new.

Redefining Failure

Consider redefining what failure means to you. Instead of seeing it as a negative endpoint, view it as a feedback mechanism. Failure isn’t a brick wall; it’s a stepping stone. Thomas Edison famously said about his attempts to create the lightbulb, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

I remember tweeting that quote, when this blog used to be on what was Twitter, and someone responding with if they’d been Edison’s boss they’d have sacked him long before. I did point out that (a) he discovered several things in the process, such as the electric battery, (b) I don’t know of many inventions that don’t go through many stages of testing and refining, that just seems to be a standard process, and (c) how short-sighted to then miss out on Edison’s electric light bulb just because you thought the process should have taken less time.

Taking Calculated Risks

While it’s important to plan and prepare, recognise that not every variable can be controlled. Taking calculated risks means making informed decisions but also being open to possibilities beyond our control. It’s about finding a balance between caution and courage.

Learning to Adapt

Adaptability is a crucial skill in today’s fast-paced world. When unforeseen circumstances arise, being flexible allows us to adjust our plans without abandoning our goals. It’s about bending without breaking. I’m certain that there are many instances in your own lifetime when you have had to adapt to unforeseen circumstances beyond your control – whether they were ones happening on a global level or had a much smaller reach, but just as significant, on a personal level.

Cultivating Resilience

What do you think about Resilience? Taking resilience to mean the ability to recover quickly from difficulties. If you know that within you, you are much stronger than you imagine, then does the idea of resilience seem easier as well? It’s not about avoiding challenges but facing them head-on and learning from them, maybe even bouncing back stronger. Each challenge overcome adds to our learning, and can be said to be preparing us for future obstacles to seem easier to navigate.

Seeking Support and Collaboration

Don’t underestimate the power of a support system. Sharing our goals and fears with others can provide new perspectives and encouragement. I know in theory as a coach our work would suggest this is a core belief for us. However, when was the last time you made time to make use of that for yourself? Collaboration can lead to solutions we might not have discovered on our own.

Celebrating Small Wins

Acknowledge and celebrate the small victories along the way. These moments of success boost confidence and motivate us to keep moving forward.

In conclusion, the real loss lies not in trying and failing, but in not trying at all. Each attempt, whether successful or not, brings us closer to our goals and helps us grow. So take that first step, embrace the uncertainties, and remember that every experience contributes to your journey.

Reflective Questions:

  • Have you ever held back from pursuing something due to fear of failure?
  • What steps can you take to move past that fear and take action?
  • How can embracing failure as a learning opportunity change your perspective?

I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences related to this topic. Feel free to share them in the comments below.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is a transformative coach dedicated to empowering individuals to get out of their own way and make a meaningful impact in the world. With an impactful, nurturing coaching style, Jen supports clients in unlocking their potential and achieving their goals. As an experienced coach and trainer, she guides clients from self-doubt to success.

Discover how Jen can support you to get out of your own way here.


As I became more mature I realized that failure is part of success

This image is of a mountain range at sunset. On the closest peak is an individual looking out over to the sunset wearing a big backpack. In their wake on the journey up appears to be broken bits of equipment and old rope etc.
The text reads: "As I became more mature I realized that failure is part of success." (Robert G. Allen)

The Quote Of The Day is:

“As I became more mature I realized that failure is part of success.” (Robert G. Allen)

Some Questions For Coaches prompted by this quote:

  • If it really was OK to fail, and nobody would make any judgement, what action would you be taking?
  • How do you, and your clients, generally view failure?
  • Are there areas/ topics where you find you are happy to fail on the way to success and others where unless you know it’s got a high chance of succeeding, you don’t move forward?

Bonus Questions:

  • What advice would you give to a younger you?
  • What does success mean to you?
  • What coaching related question, topic, exercise does this prompt for you?

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer, Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.


The most popular quotes on Twitter in May 2018

Most RT'd quotes last week on @thecoachingblog

 

The blog’s twitter account regularly shares quotes that are there to spark inspiration, provoke action and generally interest coaches. I haven’t done this for some time but here are the most popular quotes that the blogs twitter account tweeted during the month of May.

Tweet with the most interactions overall

“I am thankful for all of those who said NO to me. Its because of them I’m doing it myself.”

(Albert Einstein)

 

Tweet with the most RT’s

“Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start.”

(Nido Qubein)

 

Tweet with the most favourite stars
There were two quotes which both got exactly the same number of favourite stars:

“You never fail until you stop trying.”

(Albert Einstein)

And

“There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be “nothing.”

(Aristotle)

I know many coaches like quotes and we also generally love questions so in no particular order I thought I’d share some questions prompted by these quotes. You’re welcome to share your answers below if you so desire but I’d love for you to actually take any relevant action that occurs to you from answering!

Fotolia 69221503 XSIf it didn’t matter if someone said “no” what would you ask and from who?

Fotolia 69221503 XS If you were looking for questions and requests for a project you’re working on that got no’s instead of yes – what would those questions and requests be?

(A “no” as an answer is a perfectly valid response, the key is respecting that as the answer)

Fotolia 69221503 XS If this is the starting point, what’s the very first step?

Fotolia 69221503 XS What if you haven’t failed, you just have yet to find the solution?

Fotolia 69221503 XS What if it was OK to “fail”? What would you be doing?

Fotolia 69221503 XSWhen will you know it’s time to stop?

Fotolia 69221503 XSWhat would happen if you did “nothing”?

Fotolia 69221503 XSIf no-one cared what you did, what would you be doing?

These are just a few of the questions that occurred to me about these quotes

Fotolia 69221503 XS What questions and thoughts do these quotes prompt for you?

thank you

I know that there are various aspects that can influence if a quote attracts your attention – if you saw the tweet, personal style, if it speaks to something happening in your life at that moment, if you feel it’s something that will resonate with your own followers. Many thanks if you’ve taken the time to RT, clicked favourite, and generally interacted with the quotes on the twitter feed.

Which quote do you prefer?

(For those of you as geeky as I am and wondering what tool I’m using to measure individual RT’s this week I’ve been playing with www.twitonomy.com and Twitters own analytics system)

P.S. Wondering how to use quotes in your coaching? Back in 2012 I wrote a couple of posts around using quotes in coaching, Do you use quotes in your coaching? and a follow up one answering a readers question Using quotes in coaching – remembering them in the first place.

About Jen Waller

Jen WallerJen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. One of the aspects of her role Jen loves the most is seeing individuals find their voice, grow their confidence and take the next steps so that they make a massive positive impact and difference with their coaching.

In her spare time Jen is a volunteer for the UK based charity The Cinnamon Trust who support elderly and terminally ill pet owners provide care for their pets. As a volunteer, Jen regularly walks dogs for owners who physically often find that more challenging then they once did. As a pet owner herself, Jen finds it really rewarding to be able to assist an owner stay with an animal that has become part of the family. (Plus it’s a great aditional motivator when working from home to get out and get some fresh air and exercise)

Jen also loves theatre and has been known to watch certain popular science fiction films and TV shows!