doubt

Is Doubting a Problem in Coaching?

 in quote  tagged coach / coaches / coaching / curiosity / doubt / Peter Abeland / quote / truth
A black background shows a circular golden laberynth of a maze from above. In the centre is a glowing light. The text reads: "By doubting we come to enquiry, and through enquiry we perceive truth," (Peter Abelard)

Happy Monday! Today’s quote is:

“By doubting we come to enquiry, and through enquiry we perceive truth,” (Peter Abelard)

In the realm of coaching, we often seek clarity, understanding, and truth. We aspire to guide our clients towards insights that can catalyse growth and transformation. Yet, in our pursuit of truth, we may overlook a fundamental aspect of the human experience: doubt. There can be inherent wisdom embedded within the process of questioning and enquiry.

Doubt is often viewed as a hindrance, a sign of uncertainty or insecurity. However, Abelard invites us to reconsider the role of doubt in our quest for truth. Rather than seeing it as an obstacle, we can embrace doubt as a gateway to deeper understanding. When we doubt, we are prompted to inquire, to explore, and to seek answers. It is through this process of questioning that we begin to unravel the layers of illusion and misconception that obscure the truth.

In coaching, doubt can serve as a catalyst for growth and transformation. When a client expresses doubt, it is an opportunity to delve deeper, to explore the underlying beliefs and assumptions that may be holding them back. By encouraging clients to question their perspectives and thinking, coaches can facilitate a process of self-discovery and insight.

Moreover, doubt opens the door to curiosity and enquiry. Instead of accepting things at face value, we are encouraged to dig deeper, to explore alternative viewpoints, and to challenge our assumptions. Through enquiry, we gain new perspectives, uncover hidden truths, and expand our understanding of ourselves and the world around us.

Sometimes, “I don’t know” is just about not knowing yet. We can judge ourselves all we like about the length of time something “should” take, but I seldom find that increasing a feeling of pressure with that judgment speeds up an answer. Being comfortable with not resisting uncertainty allows fresh and new thinking to arise.

As coaches, we can cultivate an environment of openness and curiosity, where doubt is welcomed as an integral part of the coaching process. By creating a safe space for clients to explore their doubts and uncertainties, we empower them to engage in a journey of self-discovery and growth.

Furthermore, Abelard’s quote reminds us of the importance of discernment in our quest for truth. Not all inquiries lead to truth; some may lead us down dead ends or false paths. However, it is through the process of discernment that we learn to distinguish between what is true and what is merely illusion.

So, what about the coach? What if we’re doubting?

As coaches, we’re not immune to doubt ourselves. There are moments when we may question our abilities, our approach, or even the effectiveness of coaching itself. However, it’s essential to recognize that our doubts can be just as valuable as those of our clients. They can serve as signals for growth and self-reflection, prompting us to examine our assumptions and explore new avenues of learning.

Embracing our own doubts allows us to model vulnerability and authenticity for our clients, fostering deeper connections and trust within the coaching relationship. By acknowledging and exploring our doubts, we can refine our skills, deepen our understanding, and ultimately become more effective guides on the journey towards truth and self-discovery.

I would suggest that exploration takes place in your own time rather than during a coaching session with a client. For me, that time is the client’s, my role is to be fully present with them as best I can. This means setting aside personal uncertainties and focusing entirely on the person in front of me, creating a safe and supportive space for their exploration and growth.

Outside of sessions, I can dedicate time I want to reflect on my doubts, seeking mentorship, further education, or personal development opportunities to address them constructively if I feel it’s important. Ideally, bring a sense of playfulness into exploring what is being pointed towards. By prioritising my own growth and self-awareness, I ensure that I can show up as the best possible guide for my clients, offering them unwavering support and encouragement on their journey towards their own truth and self-discovery.

Ultimately, Abelard’s words serve as a powerful reminder of the transformative power of doubt and enquiry in our journey towards truth. By embracing doubt as a catalyst for growth, cultivating curiosity and enquiry, and exercising discernment, we can unlock new insights, deepen our understanding, and empower ourselves and our clients to live more authentic and fulfilling lives.

As we continue on our coaching journey, let us embrace doubt as a friend rather than a foe, recognizing its potential to lead us towards deeper truth and understanding. Through doubt and enquiry, we open ourselves up to a world of infinite possibilities, where truth awaits those brave enough to seek it.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer, Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.

Spare Some Time for Coaching and Mentoring

 in Guest Post  tagged Beverley Ireland-Symonds / clients / coach / coaching / doubt / help / mentoring / space / starting coaching / time

In today’s guest post Beverley Ireland-Symonds shares her experience from when she was in the early days of her coaching:

Spare Some Time for Coaching and Mentoring By Beverley Ireland-Symonds

Spare Some Time for Coaching and Mentoring

By Beverley Ireland-Symonds

If you’re a newly trained coach in the process of setting up your coaching business you probably have a long ‘To do’ list. Deciding on a niche, writing a business plan and marketing plan, getting business cards printed, a website up and running, gathering resources, deciding on costs and fees, sorting out banking and taxes and a whole host of other things. And of course probably the number one priority for a lot of people – finding and coaching clients.

Now I suspect there may be one thing that is either missing from your list or doesn’t have a very high priority and that’s getting support for yourself. I remember on the first two day introductory course I did in coaching I was advised that all coaches should have their own coach – who could coach and/or mentor.

This sounded like sound advice but I have to admit it just wasn’t on my list of priorities at all some months later. I simply had too many other things to think about and it slipped to the back of my mind. I’d made some good friends on my training course and we’d occasionally Skype or email each other swapping tips and information and occasionally raising any small difficulties we were having.

I remember thinking at one point ‘I’m not sure what I’m doing’ but I didn’t say so because my friends sounded so enthusiastic and contented. I just continued to plod along developing my niche with some successes and the occasional failure.

But after 10 months I was suddenly hit with a real crisis of confidence. I found myself developing ideas that were different from my original niche and I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to be pulled in a new direction. Once that thought had taken hold I then started to question whether I was up to even being a coach. I’m an NLP Coach specialising in confidence. Where was mine? It had all but disappeared.

Then one day, I remembered the conversation about having a coach and knew that I had to do something. The silly thing was that I actually had access to a coach/mentor as part of the coaching training package that I bought. Did I act immediately? No I didn’t – I was too embarrassed. I had this crazy idea that being a coach – also meant I had to be superwoman!

Fortunately I got over that and I sent an email to my coach/mentor with dates for a session and about a week later we spoke on the phone.

I cannot tell you what a relief that call was and I wish I had made it much earlier. After that I had two mentoring sessions (where I received a lot of advice) and three coaching sessions (where I developed ideas, goals and actions).

So what did I get from working with a coach? A lot, but here are some of the key things.

  • There’s nothing wrong in experiencing doubts and there’s nothing wrong in asking for help.
  • There’s a lot to learn from seeing an experienced coach and their coaching style.
  • It’s a valuable lesson to experience coaching as a client.
  • I had time to reflect on where I was with my coaching and clarify where I wanted to be.
  • I had the chance to discuss the change in direction, why it happened and what it meant.
  • I had the opportunity to bounce ideas and thoughts and do some ‘blue sky’ thinking.
  • I got excited about coaching again.

Now, I recognise that I’m fortunate to have been able to work with a coach without having to suddenly find additional money. But if you’re just starting out I would advise that you factor in the cost of some coaching and mentoring for yourself and make it a priority to find someone you can work with. You may not hit a crisis of confidence like I did but you may have issues that you need coaching on and those sessions could be a crucial element in your future success.

I’m sure you don’t need any convincing how important the relationship between yourself and your clients is and the positive impact you can have on their lives. Why not sample a bit of that magic for yourself when needed?

About Beverley Ireland-Symonds

Beverley Ireland-Symonds is an NLP Practitioner and NLP Coach, specialising in Confidence Coaching, working with clients both in the UK and America. She writes extensively on a range of issues including self esteem, confidence and personal development and has developed her own online coaching programme.