curiosity

Curiosity And Wonder In Coaching

 in quote  tagged Auguste Villiers de l'Isle-Adam / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching qualities / curiosity / humility / quote / wonder
A greyish white clay like featureless model is stood holding a large key across the front of their body. Instead of the tradition key part cut into one end is the word KNOW in upper case letters. The text reads: "I am a man who knows nothing, guesses sometimes, finds frequently and who's always amazed.".(Auguste Villiers de l'Isle-Adam)

The quote of the day today is:

“I am a man who knows nothing, guesses sometimes, finds frequently and who’s always amazed.”.(Auguste Villiers de l’Isle-Adam)

This quote got me thinking as, for me, it points a lot to elements I recognise in my coaching. As coaches, we often find ourselves in the delicate position of guiding others through their personal and professional growth. This quote can inspire us to embrace humility, curiosity, and a sense of wonder in our coaching practices.

Embracing Humility

“I am a man who knows nothing” speaks to the importance of humility. By humility, I don’t mean thinking of yourself as small or somehow less worthy. I mean just not bringing all your thinking into the mix and just letting your naturally self shine.

In coaching, I think it’s important to recognise that we don’t have all the answers. Our role is not to impose our knowledge, but to facilitate our clients’ own discoveries. By approaching each session with an open mind and a willingness to learn from our clients, we create a space where genuine exploration can occur. For me, I think that this humility allows us to connect more deeply with our clients and fosters an environment of mutual respect and trust.

The Power of Curiosity

“Guesses sometimes” highlights the role of curiosity in the coaching process. Curiosity drives us to ask questions, explore new perspectives, and challenge assumptions. It encourages us to step out of our comfort zones and venture into the unknown. As coaches, cultivating curiosity can lead to powerful breakthroughs for our clients. When we model curiosity, we invite our clients to adopt a similar mindset, encouraging them to look at their challenges and goals from different angles.

Having worked a lot with coaches over the years, I’ve often found myself explaining to a new client that if I’m asking a question in will be because it’s occurred to me to ask – it really won’t be because there’s some secret meaning behind the question. I’ve found that coaches can fall into the trap of trying to analyse the reason behind a question rather than looking at what the question is asking.

I’ve also found that giving clients permission to guess or make up an answer can sometimes be all it takes to get creativity flowing again and for ideas to spring that unstick them from their thinking around a situation. It’s usually when they have put added pressure on an answer that must be perfect and a fully formed solution – often unconsciously dismissing any idea that isn’t 100% correct immediately. It’s like expecting an author to produce a best-selling book immediately they sit down without a process of a series of drafts and edits later – it may happen, but why make the process more difficult than it needs to be?

Frequent Discoveries

“Finds frequently” reminds us of the frequent discoveries that happen throughout the coaching journey. These moments of insight can range from small realizations to significant shifts in understanding. Celebrating these discoveries, no matter how minor they may seem, is crucial.

I’ve been guilty in the past of not crediting the impact from a gentle almost unobserved fresh perspective, instead looking for the really obvious earth-shattering new insight – the sort that feels like your whole world perspective has just been shaken to its core.

Acknowledging progress helps to build momentum and reinforces the value of the coaching process. Encouraging clients to recognise and celebrate their own discoveries fosters a sense of achievement and motivates them to continue their growth.

A Sense of Wonder

“Who’s always amazed” speaks to maintaining a sense of wonder and amazement. The coaching journey is full of surprises, both for the coach and the client. Approaching each session with an attitude of wonder keeps the process fresh and engaging. I’ve found that there is something special that can happen when a client is free and willing to wonder, it can create a space for a fresh perspective, insight and creativity to emerge.

In conclusion, the quote by Auguste Villiers de l’Isle-Adam is a powerful reminder of the qualities that can enhance our coaching practice: humility, curiosity, frequent discovery, and a sense of wonder. By embracing these qualities, we can create a more enriching and impactful experience for our clients and ourselves. These are just the qualities pointed to with this quote, what other aspects would you add, specifically in relation to your coaching?

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is a transformative coach dedicated to empowering individuals to get out of their own way and make a meaningful impact in the world. With an impactful, nurturing coaching style, Jen supports clients in unlocking their potential and achieving their goals. As an experienced coach and trainer, she guides clients from self-doubt to success.

Discover how Jen can help you transform your journey here.

Is Doubting a Problem in Coaching?

 in quote  tagged coach / coaches / coaching / curiosity / doubt / Peter Abeland / quote / truth
A black background shows a circular golden laberynth of a maze from above. In the centre is a glowing light. The text reads: "By doubting we come to enquiry, and through enquiry we perceive truth," (Peter Abelard)

Happy Monday! Today’s quote is:

“By doubting we come to enquiry, and through enquiry we perceive truth,” (Peter Abelard)

In the realm of coaching, we often seek clarity, understanding, and truth. We aspire to guide our clients towards insights that can catalyse growth and transformation. Yet, in our pursuit of truth, we may overlook a fundamental aspect of the human experience: doubt. There can be inherent wisdom embedded within the process of questioning and enquiry.

Doubt is often viewed as a hindrance, a sign of uncertainty or insecurity. However, Abelard invites us to reconsider the role of doubt in our quest for truth. Rather than seeing it as an obstacle, we can embrace doubt as a gateway to deeper understanding. When we doubt, we are prompted to inquire, to explore, and to seek answers. It is through this process of questioning that we begin to unravel the layers of illusion and misconception that obscure the truth.

In coaching, doubt can serve as a catalyst for growth and transformation. When a client expresses doubt, it is an opportunity to delve deeper, to explore the underlying beliefs and assumptions that may be holding them back. By encouraging clients to question their perspectives and thinking, coaches can facilitate a process of self-discovery and insight.

Moreover, doubt opens the door to curiosity and enquiry. Instead of accepting things at face value, we are encouraged to dig deeper, to explore alternative viewpoints, and to challenge our assumptions. Through enquiry, we gain new perspectives, uncover hidden truths, and expand our understanding of ourselves and the world around us.

Sometimes, “I don’t know” is just about not knowing yet. We can judge ourselves all we like about the length of time something “should” take, but I seldom find that increasing a feeling of pressure with that judgment speeds up an answer. Being comfortable with not resisting uncertainty allows fresh and new thinking to arise.

As coaches, we can cultivate an environment of openness and curiosity, where doubt is welcomed as an integral part of the coaching process. By creating a safe space for clients to explore their doubts and uncertainties, we empower them to engage in a journey of self-discovery and growth.

Furthermore, Abelard’s quote reminds us of the importance of discernment in our quest for truth. Not all inquiries lead to truth; some may lead us down dead ends or false paths. However, it is through the process of discernment that we learn to distinguish between what is true and what is merely illusion.

So, what about the coach? What if we’re doubting?

As coaches, we’re not immune to doubt ourselves. There are moments when we may question our abilities, our approach, or even the effectiveness of coaching itself. However, it’s essential to recognize that our doubts can be just as valuable as those of our clients. They can serve as signals for growth and self-reflection, prompting us to examine our assumptions and explore new avenues of learning.

Embracing our own doubts allows us to model vulnerability and authenticity for our clients, fostering deeper connections and trust within the coaching relationship. By acknowledging and exploring our doubts, we can refine our skills, deepen our understanding, and ultimately become more effective guides on the journey towards truth and self-discovery.

I would suggest that exploration takes place in your own time rather than during a coaching session with a client. For me, that time is the client’s, my role is to be fully present with them as best I can. This means setting aside personal uncertainties and focusing entirely on the person in front of me, creating a safe and supportive space for their exploration and growth.

Outside of sessions, I can dedicate time I want to reflect on my doubts, seeking mentorship, further education, or personal development opportunities to address them constructively if I feel it’s important. Ideally, bring a sense of playfulness into exploring what is being pointed towards. By prioritising my own growth and self-awareness, I ensure that I can show up as the best possible guide for my clients, offering them unwavering support and encouragement on their journey towards their own truth and self-discovery.

Ultimately, Abelard’s words serve as a powerful reminder of the transformative power of doubt and enquiry in our journey towards truth. By embracing doubt as a catalyst for growth, cultivating curiosity and enquiry, and exercising discernment, we can unlock new insights, deepen our understanding, and empower ourselves and our clients to live more authentic and fulfilling lives.

As we continue on our coaching journey, let us embrace doubt as a friend rather than a foe, recognizing its potential to lead us towards deeper truth and understanding. Through doubt and enquiry, we open ourselves up to a world of infinite possibilities, where truth awaits those brave enough to seek it.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer, Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.

Showing the way 1

 in Guest Post  tagged coach / Creative Polymath / curiosity / Kaitlyn Hatch / wisdom

In today’s guest post Kaitlyn Hatch shares some lessons she learnt after deciding to set up a coaching business.

"Showing the way" by Kaitlyn Hatch

Showing the way

by Kaitlyn Hatch

In 2012 I completed an NLP practitioner course and began marketing myself as a life coach. I put myself out there as much as I could, self-promotion being a skill I’d picked up from founding a not-for-profit and working as an artist, and waited for the clients to come.

I was told repeatedly that this would take time. Yes, people wanted to change, but most of them would have to mull it over for six months to a year, or have something significant occur in their lives, before they finally took the step.

In the end I had a total of two clients before I packed it in.

This is not, however, a story of failure. The reasons I didn’t establish a professional coaching practice were clear:

  1. I had a nebulous niche. I put myself out there as a ‘Creative Life Coach’, someone who wanted to help Creative Polymaths tap into and express their inherent creativity. While this may seem specific, it was problematic because my ideal client’s biggest problem was they didn’t identify as creative and therefore wouldn’t see me as marketing to them. Also, there was no promise of money, love or sex – three of the biggest sellers going.
  2. I put way too much pressure on myself to make it financially successful. I love helping people realise their own potential but I became too focused on how to generate the income I’d need to survive. Obviously income is important but it shouldn’t have been my key motivator. Which brings me to point three…
  3. I didn’t like charging for what I wanted to help people with. I’ve always been able to see the potential in others. I love helping them see it too and when I started marketing myself as a ‘professional’ I began suppressing my very nature on the grounds that if they weren’t paying, I wasn’t offering.

This experience was very painful for me. I was inhibiting my very nature and the added stress of trying to support myself financially got to be too much – which was why I closed my coaching business at the end of 2012.

Throughout this entire experience I was seeing (and continue to see) a psychologist. She was an immense support as she had already been through all the trials and tribulations of establishing a private practice.

Her tips and ideas, reflections and resources all helped me during that year. And when I decided it wasn’t working the decision was made after much discussion with her.

It wasn’t that she told me any of the above points. She didn’t have to. I already knew them. She just helped me unpick my thoughts to find the wisdom that lay within. As someone reading this blog I’m going to assume you provide a similar service to your clients. Helping people see their own wisdom is a challenging but also very rewarding process. In my experience, as someone who enjoys doing this for friends as well as for myself, the key is in asking questions. I don’t even think it’s a matter of the ‘right’ question because that implies there’s a correct answer. Most of the time the answer that fits a situation today will not fit in a few weeks or months. But the very process of inquiry is what engages a person in realising their own insights.

As a coach the role you play can be pivotal in a client’s life – you can be the one who engages them on a path of curiosity about their experiences. This is a great honour to be trusted with but also a great challenge.

The more we can support a client to question, to embrace life with a sense of great curiosity, the more they will come to trust their own instincts and internal wisdom.

– Kait

About Kaitlyn Hatch

Kaitlyn HatchKaitlyn Hatch is a Creative Polymath, which is a quick way of saying she writes, paints, draws, sculpts, makes costumes, and has been known to dance in public.

In 2013 she published ‘Wise at Any Age’ – a handbook for cultivating wisdom. This is her first of what will be many published books. Writing it was a practice in recording the wisdom she has already discovered.

You can follow Kait on Twitter @faunawolf or check out her Facebook page.