control


Who’s in Charge?

In today’s guest post Vanessa Ugatti, The True Worth Expert, shares some of her expertise and knowledge as she asks an important question about your coaching business:

Who’s in Charge?

By Vanessa Ugatti

"Who's in Charge?" by Vanessa Ugatti
Are you in charge of your business or is your business in charge of you? It’s an important question for you to answer as the impact of not being in charge may be catastrophic financially, physically and emotionally.

Typically, my clients are very good at what they do, highly conscientious, perfectionist, people pleasers, who more often than not put others first even to the detriment of themselves and their businesses. They also do not realise the full extent of what they’re doing, since their behaviour is based on their unconscious programmes, rather than rational conscious decision-making.

All humans have been programmed and are therefore hostage to a greater or lesser degree to their conditioning; some of which is beneficial and some is not. The negative or limiting conditioning creates fear-based thinking leading to behaviour which is detrimental and the person appears powerless to change this.

Of course, it’s important to provide a high level of service to your clients but certainly not at the expense of the business as this creates an imbalance which leads to many problems as alluded to in the first paragraph.

Perhaps you’re under-charging or maybe you’re discounting your fees for no apparent reason or possibly you’re doing too much work for free. You may even be doing all three, which means that you’re throwing money away hand over fist.

The more often you do these, the more money you’re losing. It also means that you’re probably spending far too much time working to make up for the shortfall and you’re possibly feeling overworked, stressed, tired and resentful.

In extreme cases, this can lead to health issues, strained relationships, lack of fun/family time/me time and ultimately overwhelm.

This certainly is the case with a new client who has also been working with clients who she doesn’t enjoy working with, even though she has a full diary!

It’s amazing how radical some behaviours can be. However, I’m pleased to report that significant changes are already occurring which are starting to bring her back into balance. When balance is returned, the war within is over.

I’d like to share a simple technique for being able to get out of your patterns and take back control by stepping out of the emotion.

1) Consciously recognise that you are experiencing some form of negative emotion.

2) Stand up (if you are sitting) and take an exaggerated step backwards so that you are literally stepping out of the emotion. Simultaneously say out loud, I am stepping out of this emotion. I am not this emotion. This emotion is not me. I am completely separate from it. Say it with emphasis. (By doing this, you are dissociating from the emotion and recognising that you are not it.) This will automatically change your state and bring you into clarity.

From this position, you can make rational decisions about what you want to do.

3) Then say out loud three times: “I choose to let this feeling go. It does not serve me. I now choose to be happy, confident or whatever other positive emotion you desire.” (In this way, you are consciously choosing a new way of thinking, feeling and acting which will serve you better.).

4) Acknowledge yourself for having consciously dealt with the emotion rather than staying in it and being its unconscious victim. Make sure that you include this step as it reinforces the new behaviour and will make you feel good.

5) As always, when wanting to create new habits and behaviours, the key is in repetition, so practise, practise, practise.

NB. If you’re in a business meeting, when you will not be able to do this, just do step 2 in your head. This means that you will be in a much better position to think rationally and therefore respond to the person in front of you in a more confident and professional manner.

The time is now for you to take back control of your business.

So if you recognise yourself in any of this, I urge you to subscribe to my website http://www.thetrueworthexpert.com where you can gain access to a free report on How to Charge What You’re Worth and Get It which has been described by one client as enlightening!

About Vanessa Ugatti

Vanessa Ugatti, The True Worth Expert and Author of International Amazon Best-seller, True Worth, How to Charge What You’re Worth and Get It, dramatically shifts the thinking for people in professional services taking them from their own perceptions of not feeling they can really charge what they’re worth, to doing just that – and more!

This unique ability, to bring out the best in people, has evolved for her over many years of facing similar challenges both professionally and personally, even questioning her own value in business.

With the development of her proprietary UV + CV + CD = CW formula, she works with professional services organisations and sole traders, instilling greater confidence and inspiring them to take the necessary action, resulting in incredibly fast changes that directly impact revenues and the bottom line.

She has always felt naturally drawn to understanding what it takes and how to make people shift. Vanessa has consistently challenged herself to experience the effects of her approach and methods and understand how a client feels. This helped her conquer many of her own fears and concerns, from dropping solo to work in a French-speaking part of Africa, launching a successful business later in life or overcoming a fear of heights by jumping out of a plane from 10,000 feet up!

The core value that drives Vanessa is authenticity; being true to herself. She finds this is the key approach to helping her clients be empowered to find their true selves and in turn their true value. This has led her to combine her more unique and some might say unorthodox way of being and be effective in industries that many would view as more conservative. She is by no means conservative. It works; some have even described her as Wonder Woman, with purple glasses, but the effect and results are still dramatic.

 

Article Source: Who’s in Charge?

EzineArticles Expert page: Vanessa Ugatti


Balancing the Push and Pull of Life

In today’s guest post Andrew A. Faccone draws upon his own life experiences and his coaching expertise to share 3 points around life, commitment and time.

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Balancing the push and pull of life1

Balancing the Push and Pull of Life ..

By Andrew A. Faccone

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.”

(Albert Einstein)

We are all given 24 hours a day, 1,440 minutes per day and 86,400 seconds per day to use how we see fit.

Those of us reading this post are very fortunate and blessed to choose how we are to use that precious time we are given. That allotted time has a short life span, it must be used immediately and it cannot be carried over. If it is not used properly it expires.

It is our choice to maximize or minimize how we allocate our days, weeks, months and years that we are given in our lifetime. The mystery of life reveals that life is not a straight line, there is no instruction booklet on how to live and we are responsible for our actions.

The attention that we pay to the little things throughout life has a dramatic effect on the outcomes of our life as we progress and mature throughout our lifetime. Since our birth we have all pursued different paths, we have learned, prospered, been knocked down and despite the challenging conditions have succeeded as well as failed in some of our endeavors. The challenges have made us stronger and the shortcomings have taught us what not to repeat in the future. In some cases we are all learning from those shortcomings.

Past events somehow always re-appear at various times throughout our lives. In the time of our youth we pursued our education and the playful desires of our youth. Academics, athletics, music, literature, sciences, religious education, play time with our childhood friends, youth and civic groups, participation with a strong supervision from our families who attended those important life events. They cheered us on in victory and comforted us when the results did not materialize as hoped for.

When our formal education ended we then used our educational backgrounds or God given talents to find a way to make a go of it on our own. Welcome to being a grown up! We now face the commitments of professional life, parenthood, earning a living, providing for our families, advancing our professional careers and now we have become those attendees routing for our family members as they progress through their childhood and young adult activities that we participated in in the not so distant past.

Where is the person who wanted to change the world and make the difference in the world?

Is this life still a life in balance? Is there equal push and pull in our daily activities? Finding that balance, the constant struggle that addresses all of the aspects of our lives. Spirituality, physicality, and mentality.

I am asked many times in all of my personal & professional travels how did I get where I am in life? I have some of the answers to this question and some answers I do not have. I have been blessed to have had some extraordinary people that have been a part of my life. Nine years of a disciplined Catholic school education, athletic participation in high school and college, a loving family along with several key family members who taught me about the true lessons of life and that I can do anything that I set myself to attaining.

I try to rely on 3 key points and try to use them as my daily guide as I try to find a balance between the many commitments I am involved with in my daily life both personally and professionally.

What you say will determine what you will become. I have always been a believer in word affirmations. The words you are projecting will impact your individual outcomes. If you’re not projecting positive words and expecting great things to occur, they will not happen. If you don’t believe something will happen nobody else will. Use those empowering words to get you to where you want to be.

  1. Control The Controllables is the most important piece of our lives’ direction. We cannot control other people or the actions that they undertake, outside events, or decide the specific outcomes for certain situations. We can only control ourselves and our actions; we are accountable to those actions and decisions that we ourselves make. No one else. Do the best you can to work on those goals both short term and long term, work diligently and constantly change your approach to achieve your goals, but understand you can only control what is in front of you. A strong will can conquer anything, but you also have to be realistic in what you undertake.
  2. Have a goal & the end point in mind. We all set out many times to undertake certain projects but never have the end goal in mind. Example: I am going on a diet and lose weight. That statement screams starve yourself and constantly not be satisfied with even losing the smallest amount of weight. Give yourself credit for wanting to lose weight and changing your eating habits. Whenever a new habit is introduced to our lives it takes roughly 28 days to form a new habit. You have to give yourself credit and realize that to be successful and create a new habit it takes time. Having the end point in mind, losing 1-2 pounds weekly and trying to exercise on a more regular basis is a realistic goal & plan. It is not where you are it’s the direction that you are headed that counts. Keep that goal of where you want to be ever present in your daily actions. You’ll be surprised what you can attain.
  3. Enjoy the journey Life is full of surprises, challenges, and lot of unexpected “things “occur. When life throws the unexpected curve at us daily, which it does to us at some point, we need to readjust and get yourself back on track of the task at hand. Interruptions, issues, something totally unexpected is going to occur. Deal with it quickly and to the best of your ability and get back to what you were you were doing. Once that event has occurred put it in the rear view mirror and move on. Tony Robbins, noted author & motivational speaker, referenced the statement ‘the past does not equal the future’. It is so true. We all need to be aware of this statement and realize that we are doing the best that we can, with the time we have to enjoy each day with its many challenges and surprises.

Life is an attitude -have a good one and you will enjoy the wonderful journey. When you start to make these new adjustments in your daily activities, changes in those daily habits, week after week, month after month, and year after year you will start to recognize that new person in the mirror who you have not seen in some time. Start small but think big, because you can do it, great things are coming your way… it all depends on you!

About the Author/Further Resources

Andrew Faccone, MBA is employed in the healthcare industry as a long term care account specialists in the United States near the New York Metropolitan area. Andrew has over 18 years experience as an athlete,& coach positively impacting the lives of athletes he has coached. Andrew is available for speaking engagements of any size or location and individual coaching sessions.

Contact Andrew A. Faccone at aa****@***oo.com or

Linkedin : http://www.linkedin.com/pub/andrew-a-faccone-mba/24/291/3b2

Cell Phone 732 614 8425 Eastern Time Zone

 

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Am I Uncoachable? Am I Unapproachable? 1

In this week’s Friday guest post coach Amber Fogarty shares her thoughts and experience with those who are uncoachable and unapproachable.

Am I Uncoachable? Am I Unapproachable?

by Amber Fogarty

Raise your hand if you’ve ever encountered someone who was uncoachable. How about someone who was unapproachable? Surely, you’ve encountered both types of people in your coaching business and in your community. Being both uncoachable and unapproachable is one of the worst combinations.

Take a moment to think about yourself and your interactions during the last month. Can you think of times when you’ve come across as either uncoachable or unapproachable or both?

Many blogs posted on this site have highlighted the importance of coaches having coaches. I strongly believe that one cannot be an effective coach without a coach of his or her own. One of my mentors in the coaching industry, who has been a coach for more than 25 years, once told me that “a coach without a coach is a con artist.” Strong words, but words I believe to be true. How can we sell the value of coaching to others if we don’t have a coach ourselves? We must be a “product of the product.”

But what makes someone uncoachable? There are so many factors that can contribute to “uncoachability.” Here are a few of my favorites, worded as I statements so that you can challenge yourself to think about whether or not each one applies to you.

  • I am uncoachable because I do not want to change.
  • I am uncoachable because I do not believe that I need to change.
  • I am uncoachable because I believe I know more than the coach. (Knowing is the enemy of learning.)
  • I am uncoachable because I think it’s not the right time to (fill in your excuse here).
  • I am uncoachable because I think something or someone else needs to change before I do.
  • I am uncoachable because I need to be in control 100% of the time.
  • I am uncoachable because I do not like to be challenged.
  • I am uncoachable because I am not open to feedback.

Bearing all this in mind, are you uncoachable? A very wise coach once told me that being coached is about being open to all possibilities. It is about being challenged to be a better version of yourself.

How can you strive to be more coachable? To be more open to feedback? To embrace change?

I recently was introduced to a networking expert by one of my coaching clients. I reached out to this new contact so that we could get to know each other and see if there were any opportunities for us to help each other. Her response to my request for a meeting indicated that she was really busy and was “only meeting with people who could directly impact her cash flow.” How could a networking expert be so unapproachable?

As coaches, we may at times believe that we have all the answers. We may be tempted to fall into the trap of believing that we don’t have anything to learn from a particular person or about our area of expertise. Knowing truly is the enemy of learning, and we always have more to learn. So let’s make a commitment to being approachable and coachable. Our families, our friends, and our clients deserve it.

About the Author/Further Resources

Amber Fogarty is a Partner and Coach with the SOS Coaching Network, which unites an elite group of coaches, trainers, and consultants from around the world, providing them with personalized programs, one-on-one and group coaching, and tools to help them succeed in the rapidly growing coaching industry. Learn more at www.soscoachingnetwork.com.