cat

The self-publicising cat

 in General life improvement  tagged assistance / business coach / business coaching / career coaching / cat / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching session / coaching skills / coaching techniques / executive coach / goal / invitations / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / networking / other people / performance coaching / personal development / resource / sharing

This was originally published as a bonus article in the Coaching Confidence weekly email during October 2011. To start getting your very own copy each week enter your details under “Don’t miss a thing!” to the right of this page.

The self-publicising cat

One of our cats appears to have developed a love for self-publicity and telling us what she is doing. When she goes for a drink she’ll meow to tell us she’s going, when she’s finished having a drink she’ll meow again.

As I sat down to write this message there was a meow from behind me – apparently to tell me that she had entered the room and now intended to curl up in comfort.

She is very considerate in sharing what she is doing and if she knows we are already watching, and already know what she is doing, she keeps quiet.

The vet says she is very healthy so it really does seem to be her way of attracting our attention, and sometimes getting our assistance so she gets what she wants – which in her case is usually a fuss or rearranging the bedding so it’s comfier!

Now, before you get any ideas that I’m about to suggest that you to take the example of the cat and squeal every time you enter a room, relax! By all means if that’s the approach that you want to take feel free however there is less extreme approaches you can use – or not use, as you see fit!

Last year I attended a training event where there was a mix of businesses represented. The organisers had purposefully included a section of the day to “network”. I got chatting to someone in the queue for lunch prior to the allotted time for networking.

He was busy sharing that he already knew that there was no point him staying to “network.” He only worked with large multinational companies in certain industries. From an exercise earlier in the day he knew that no one currently worked for a company that size and in the industries he wanted.

As it happened later that day I was talking to someone who had previously worked at a multi-national level in the very industry this gentleman would have loved to have connected with. I looked around to introduce the gentleman I had been talking to at lunch there was no sign of him. Presumably, because he knew there was nobody there directly doing what he’d wanted, he’d already gone home!

Does that mean that if that gentleman had stayed and met this second person a connection would certainly have happened? Well I’m certainly no psychic, so who knows what may have happened. I do know that it’s statistically more likely to have happened if that gentleman had stayed and then asked!

It appeared that the gentleman who missed making this new potential connection had ignored the fact, that we may have a friend, family member, former colleague etc who fitted his description.

This week I invite you to think about a goal/project that you are currently working towards/would like.

  • How many people know what you are doing/want to do?

And as a bonus follow-up question:

  • How many people have you shared how they can assist you with your goal/project?

Have a week full of questions, sharing and invites,

Love

Jen

About the Author

Jen WallerJen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

She has created a free 7 day e-course about how to create your own unique coaching welcome pack that works for you and your clients. Get your copy here.

 

What’s your story?

 in General life improvement  tagged cat / complaint handling / effective communication / Jim Rohn / perspective / story

Recently published at Your Changing Direction is this piece I wrote about communication and perspective.

What’s your story?

“If you just communicate you can get by. But if you skilfully communicate, you can work miracles”
(Jim Rohn)

I was asked the other day, by a family member, what I’d just been doing. My response was to ask who’s verson they’d like to hear – mine was that I’d been grooming the cat. The cat’s verson was that I’d kidnapped her, held her against her will and scalped her!

There’s an old saying about there being two sides to every story – in fact you’ve probably noticed that there can be considerably more than two sets of interpretation of the same event if there’s more than two people involved.

If you are trying to effectively communicate with someone else it often helps if you have an understanding of the other person’s perspective.

After all, communication involves at least 2 people, the person who is “sending” the message and the one who is receiving. An understanding of how they process the message you give because of their beliefs, values and other perspectives can help you craft and adjust what and how you communicate to become more effective.

This week I invite you to play with something I originally used in a business setting during “complaint handling” trainings. While you can certainly use it with a situation where there is a conflict, you can also pick any scenario where there’s been a missunderstanding or you were bemused by another person’s response.

1. Pick a situation to play with where the communication that took place didn’t go the way you intended.

2. Grab a pen and paper and tell the story from your perspective from start to finish.

3. Once you’ve finished telling that story, either pick somewhere else to sit or a different position in which to sit. Yes I know it’s a strange instruction, and one that may be tempting to miss out but it’s in here to make the rest of the steps easier!

4. Now imagine the same scenario from the other person’s perspective. If you like you can literally imagine stepping into their shoes and seeing through their eyes. Write down their verson of events – remember it’s their version so you’ll need to be ensure that your description is as if it had happened to you personally ie “I was …”

5. When finished, again change where or how you are sat to a new third position. – Honest, people really do find this helps to see from a new perspective.

6. Now, imagine that a third party was watching the same scenario and see it through their eyes. This is someone who has no personal investment in the situation, so it’s an unbiased view. How would they describe what they saw?

Bonus steps: If you like repeat steps 5 and 6 and pick imagining getting the perspective from a mentor and/or someone you view as an expert in such a situation. What advice would they give you having seen their perspective?

7. Re-read each version and notice any new insights you’ve learned. How can you use this information and perspective in the future?

Remember, this is not an exercise to beat yourself up using the benefit of hindsight about what you could have done. It’s an exercise to help you get even more out of your communication and life – maybe even allow you to work miracles 😉

Have a week full of perspectives

Love

Jen

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