business coach

Leadership Decisions – A Lesson From McDonalds

4 May 2012 in Guest Post tagged business coach / business coaching / charging / choice / client / clients / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / decision / effort / executive coach / goals / leadership / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / nlp coach / opportunities / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / Sean Glaze / skill / team building

In this week’s guest post teambuilding coach Sean Glaze shares his expertise and knowledge.

Leadership Decisions – A Lesson From McDonalds

by Sean Glaze

Can you close your eyes and see the menu board from your local McDonald’s?

Most of us who have visited often with our kids can effortlessly envision their value meal options and can order things from the “dollar menu” without even looking up.

I thought of this after my son’s basketball game when our family chose to stop in for a late lunch, too far from home to get away with making them settle for chips and a turkey sandwich.

royalty free mcdonalds

We all entered the restaurant, walked to the back of the short line, and then were greeted by the cashier who asked what we would like to have. Of course, my son was very clear before we had arrived. He wanted a Big Mac, fries, and a chocolate shake. When I told him it didn’t come with a chocolate shake, he even offered to pay the difference, saying “I’ve got money at home, dad- I just really want a shake!”

I gave him a parental “We’ll see…,” but was pretty sure he could survive without the shake.

My wife and our two daughters were not ready to decide as quickly, though.

They have been to McDonald’s restaurants on numerous occasions before, but still struggled to choose what it was they wanted, and grew even more uncomfortable when they saw a group of incoming customers. Feeling rushed and exasperated, they responded in three very different ways.

I thought of a quote from Seth Godin – “You don’t need more time. You just need to decide”

My wife said to me, “Oh, goodness – just get me something. You know what I like.” My oldest daughter said to me, “Whatever is cheap dad- I don’t really care.” And my youngest daughter followed that with, “I’ll just get whatever she does, okay?”

At first I was a bit shocked, but I hurriedly ordered, and then waited at the counter while I considered what had just happened while our food was prepared.

My family was a microcosm of decision making styles!

Leaders must make decisions – and the higher you climb, the more important your decision become. But it occurred to me that there were four very distinct examples of decision making in our family – at least in this illustration…

Some people refuse to make a decision and let others choose for them – that isn’t very healthy, and usually results in dissatisfaction of some kind – usually regret by the decision maker for their hesitancy.

Some people want to take the easiest route, wanting only to invest the smallest amount to get by with whatever is cheapest in terms of effort or resources. This “penny wise – pound foolish” approach is dangerous, because it fails to consider the long term effects that their short sighted decisions might have.

Some people just follow the crowd and do what their friends or acquaintances will deem as acceptable. But what is popular isn’t always best, and what is best isn’t always popular… and strong leaders must be willing to make decisions that are unique to their situation and organizational needs.

And some people want more than is offered to the masses on a menu. They want more and are willing to pay the price to enjoy it. They push their people to perform at a higher level and demand extraordinary results – and they recognize that it is often rewarding to invest more than others think is necessary.

I stood there thinking to myself that the McDonalds menu in front of me was what we all look at as leaders of any organization. We all have a menu of opportunities and goals– whether it is a principal setting teacher expectations of performance or a coach setting goals for the season, we all make decisions that impact the people we work with.

Joel, a prophet in ancient Israel, wrote “Multitudes, multitudes in the valley of decision!” (Joel 3:14). I can only imagine how that looked; people milling around confused and wondering which way to go. Things haven’t changed much over the past 2,800 years.

The question of how to approach your decisions as a leader then becomes at least as clear as how to approach what we’re having for lunch. Be sure to order what you want, and consider what it will cost, whether up front or in the future.

Everyone has a menu in front of them. Everyone is responsible for their choices, and must stomach it – even if it was a choice they tried to evade having to make for themselves.

And everyone is capable of asking for and getting more than the ordinary meal.

Yes, I got my son the chocolate shake. Because he asked for it… Because he was willing to give more to enjoy something he really wanted… But mostly because I wanted a taste!

So, the next time you go into a McDonalds – look up at the menu and smile. Know that making decisions is a skill you can develop – both in yourself, and in those on your team.

And encouraging them to participate in team decisions is important, even when sometimes they make mistakes. Mistakes are less common, though, when people take ownership.

If you want your people to invest in team decisions, consider the impact that a full or half day of fun Atlanta teambuilding and leadership training could have on your organization.

With improved morale, communication and leadership skills they will be far more willing to collaborate and contribute to the team’s success – and as a leader, that is ultimately what your decisions are supposed to produce.

About the author

sean blue pic As a speaker, author, and team-building coach, Sean Glaze entertains and influences groups with a unique blend of dynamic content, interactive activities, and practical action steps. His team-building website, www.GreatResultsTeambuilding.net, provides more information on the team-building events, speaking engagements, and training workshops he offers.

If you are part of a business, school, or athletic team that needs to improve communication, inspire accountability, energize morale, contact him and transform your group into a more productive team!

What has Shakespeare got to do with coaching?

2 May 2012 in Coaching tagged business coach / business coaching / career coaching / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching session / coaching skills / coaching techniques / executive coach / expectations and needs / Greg Doran / John Barton / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / performance coaching / personal development / resource / RSC / shakespeare

This was originally published as a bonus article in the Coaching Confidence weekly email during June 2011. To start getting your very own copy each week enter your details under “Don’t miss a thing!” to the right of this page.

What has Shakespeare got to do with coaching?

The catalyst for last weeks post was observing a workshop that the Royal Shakespeare Company “Head of Voice” Cicely Berry ran. It was a piece based around what we can learn about best practice in other fields and including a few coaching questions. If you missed it you can read it here.

This weeks message will continue with that theme as I also observed a second workshop ran by two top directors working with a group of actors on a particular speech.

You’ll notice that there are coaching questions to consider throughout the piece. Feel free to play with those questions and I invite you to notice which one makes the most difference for you.

Greg Doran is currently Chief Associate Director with the RSC and has been described as “one of the great Shakespearians of his generation.”

John Barton co-founded the RSC 50 years ago and possesses an encyclopaedic knowledge of Shakespeare and is known to be able to identify one of his plays from a single line of text. With such a background of experience and knowledge he shared his perspective about how things have changed.

One of the things he mentioned is that “Now what I do is different to what I did then …Then the basic needs were different.”

The experience of actors and the expectations of the audience not being the same is probably not a surprise when you consider that half a century has passed since the RSC began. If you have a coaching business you may be aware that your dream clients expectations and what they see their needs as being have changed over time.

That may be that you find that potential clients over time approach you with different requirements. It may also be that an individual client, if asked, will say something different at the start as compared with at the end of you working together about what was important to them about your work.

A coaching question to consider: When was the last time you checked what your dream clients expectations and needs are?

In the workshop the actors all had the speech that they were working on, in their hand, printed on paper. One of the pieces of advice that the actors were given was not to read straight from the text and worry about getting the words exact immediately. They were invited to share with audience until that happens. The focus was ”not how to speak the verse but how to make the audience listen”.

A coaching question to consider: What else can you do to make a potential client listen?

If you were to draw connections between the last two points you may say that being aware of when things change allows flexibility in approaches and communication to reflect where someone is now.

As a coach you may be aware of a benefit that your clients value above all else at the need of your work together, however, if that’s not something that they rate as important as a potential client you are likely to struggle to attract their attention initially.

One of the changes that John Barton talked about was that 50 years ago actors had far more experience of working with Shakespeare’s texts in rep theatre etc prior to working with the RSC. This has also brought a change in attitude in those who he works with – “Now actors are perfectly prepared to turn up, knowing nothing, plunge in and find out.”

One of the things that many talk about that you can get from coaching is new insights – which can be thought about as a new thought or perspective not previously seen. As a coach I love when clients are happy to plunge into a conversation and find out what happens.

A coaching question to consider: If you were to let yourself” plunge into a topic and find out,” what would you do differently?

I loved watching two different directors at work with the same group to see each reaction and hear the comments that they made at specific points.

Both directors explained that they had similar approaches about how they work. John Barton said “You do a bit, then I react and pick out what I think will be the most useful for you at this moment.” Whilst Greg Doran said that he was only going to give a “Small nudge [as I] don’t want to say more then I have to, to get you going.” Asking himself “What can I say that’s minimal that will allow them to take off?”

This means that the responses and comments are different for different actors.

Why do I mention this in this piece? I don’t know about you but when I coach one of the questions I’m considering is a variation of “what is going to make the biggest difference at this moment?” And “what is the nudge that is going to get this person going?”

A coaching question to consider: What is the one thing that is going to make the biggest difference for you?

As part of a discussion about the words in the text that the actors were working on they were told, “Words themselves have a life of their own” providing a “series of clues and opportunities, that as long as you know how to read, you can then make it your own.”

As a coach you may be aware that in a coaching conversation sometimes it is certain words that prompts you to ask a particular question. Sometimes it may be a specific statement but other times it may be a clue that suggests a belief or perception that is hindering a client.

One of the things that I can see new coaches hunt for is the “right question” to ask in a specific circumstance. I’ve come to see, over time, that there is often more than one question that can be asked. It’s picking up on the clues and opportunities that allow you to develop your own coaching style that makes a difference for your clients.

There were many, many other areas I could discuss prompted by the examples and comments I saw and heard in that session and the one I wrote about last week. However, if I did this would turn into a piece as long as a Shakespearean play!

So before I go I wanted to share one last thing. That workshop had individuals with a wide range of RSC experience involved – ranging from 50 years to those who had only just joined. They all agreed that the great thing about RSC is “the other stuff that goes on” – it’s a learning environment.

To put this into context; the RSC has some of the best in their fields working for them – to my knowledge, an actor can only audition if they are specifically invited. Yet they are continually asking questions and it’s “impressed on that [we] don’t know it all.” They “encourage you to ask questions and to explore” which was credited with inspiring “investment from the company.”

I invite you to ask questions and explore more this week and see the difference that focus has for you.

Love

Jen

About the Author

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

She has created a free 7 day e-course about how to create your own unique coaching welcome pack that works for you and your clients. Get your copy here.

Have Faith

27 April 2012 in Guest Post tagged business coach / business coaching / charging / client / clients / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / executive coach / faith / intention / law of attraction / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / Louise Gillepsie-Smith / nlp coach / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / universe

Coach, creative consultant and soon to be Yoga teacher Louise Gillepsie-Smith shares her personal experience and lessons she’s learnt so far in this week’s guest post.

Have Faith

By Louise Gillepsie-Smith

Do you ever wonder where your next clients are going to come from?

Do you ever start to worry or feel desperate about finding business?

As coaches we all know about the law of attraction and getting what we focus on but how much do you fully trust the universe to provide you with everything you need? To allow yourself just to go with life’s flow and have faith everything will work out exactly as it is meant to be.

When I first started as a coach over 5 years ago I was super positive, I had my goals, my week by week, day by day action list and work started to come in. As promised by the company I trained with after so many months I had 10 clients. I was really pleased with my self! Then they started to drop off a bit, people finished their course with me and not all the free taster sessions I gave turned into paying clients. From then on it started to feel a little like a up hill struggle, I was doing everything I could to find clients but not feeling like I was getting enough. I would do things I didn’t really want to do just to try to find work and working all hours. Then one day I discovered Yoga, it relaxed my mind so much that I set an intention for the next year ahead……to only do things I love.

That year a miracle occurred, I was doing less work to find business, I was enjoying myself fully and guess what, more work flowed to me that year than ever before! You see when you are having fun, enjoying what you do and not acting desperate you become like a magnet. People want a bit of what you have got. I know this is something I am sure we all tell clients all the time but even coaches can have loose our faith a bit sometimes too!

Since then I have slowly but surely deepened my faith in the Universe to provide me with everything I need. This became even more powerful after January 2011 when I sat on a beach under the full moon in India and set my intention for the year ahead. I was going to finally move to the beach, after 4 years of thinking about it, and to travel for 6 months around India in 2012, a dream I held for the past 13 years. The day after I returned from my holiday I lost a coaching contract in a company which set the wheels in motion for me to make these changes.

Here I am now writing this blog for you in Mcleod Ganj in the mountains in Northern India, I am here training to be a yoga teacher! When I get back in June I am moving to Brighton. My intention I set in January 2011 manifested and the events that led me to be here were not all under my control. Everything just seemed to shift to make it happen. I just trusted that it would some how and learnt how to be patient!

Here are a few tips I have learnt for setting your intention and having faith life will work out exactly as it’s meant to be:

1. To remind myself of what I choose to create in my life I like to use crystals as each type has a different energy and healing power. For example Rose Quartz is great for opening your heart and attracting love. Citrine is good for abundance, joy, creativity and fully trusting the universe. When you get a crystal you have to cleanse it (this can just be done by running it under water and focusing on any negative energy washing away whilst returning to it’s full power) set your intention for it and then when ever you see or hold it you will be reminded of your intention. A post it note on the wall works well too if you don’t believe in crystals!

2. Be with uncertainty. We don’t ever want to know the ending of a great film so why do we want to know what is going to happen next in our lives?! Replace “I hope” with “I wonder if” and enjoy watching the mystery of your life unfold!

3. Have faith in yourself and learn to listen to your heart. So often we get caught up in our minds but as we all know our minds often get caught up with fear. If you believe in what you are doing and feel deeply it is the right path for you then trust it.

4. Be patient. It’s impossible to put a time on when something will materialize in your life, just trust it will happen when the time is right.

5. Trust you will attract the clients and business that is right for you. It’s easy to get concerned that there are so many other coaches out there but I really believe we all have something unique to offer and the right clients will find you.

6. Do what you love. As I mentioned before I learnt that getting desperate and trying everything to find work including some activities that didn’t fill me with joy just didn’t work! As soon as I relaxed it all started to flow.

I am sure you already have a good understanding of the law of attraction being coaches, I had too but there was always a little part of my that didn’t 100% have faith in it until now. Over the past year I have been running an experiment to see the impact setting intentions have, I have set a different intention for each month and lived by it. You can read about it here; http://ajourneyofintention.com/ or follow me on Twitter LouiseatCreate.

About the Author/Further Resources

Louise is a confidence coach, image consultant, and soon to be yoga teacher, she runs a business called Create Yourself supporting people to create lives they love.

What can we learn from best practice in other fields? 1

23 April 2012 in Coaching / General life improvement tagged business coach / business coaching / career coaching / Cicely Berry / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching session / coaching skills / coaching techniques / executive coach / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / performance coaching / personal development / resource / RSC / The Royal Shakespeare Company / William Shakespeare

Although it’s a best guess, today is the day which is credited as being Shakespeare’s 448 birthday! So it seemed appropriate to publish this post today.

What can we learn from best practice in other fields?

Both this week’s Monday post and next week’s will focus on two workshops I have recently observed. Some of the following will specifically talk about a different industry with different job titles, yet I invite you to consider the points that you, as a coach, can take from this experience.

To help, I’ve added a few coaching questions to consider throughout this piece, however, feel free to ask your own coaching questions as they occur to you.

Last week I spent a delightful, if somewhat rainy, day in Stratford – Upon – Avon. The Royal Shakespeare Company (the RSC) was having an open day with various events scheduled throughout the day.

For those who are not aware of The RSC they are a theatre company who see their “job to connect people with Shakespeare and produce bold, ambitious work with living writers, actors and artists.”

The first workshop I watched was led by the RSC’s “Head of Voice” Cicely Berry. We were first treated to a bit of history about how in 1969 the RSC was the first theatre company in the UK to employ someone specifically to work with actors just for voice. It was felt that the training that the young actors were getting did not prepare them to “fill spaces.”

Being a new approach, Cicely Berry described how she was working on her feet, figuring out strategies and techniques as she went along.

She described how one of the issues she saw was that often actors lost connection with characters by conforming to what the director wanted.

Coaching is often discussed as being a “new field” and I do see some coaches figuring out new strategies and techniques as they go along – ones that work for themselves and their clients.

However, I also see some coaches who have lost connection with themselves – either because they are conforming to what a respected “expert” has wanted or by their own interpretation about who they “should” be as a coach.

A coaching question to consider: if you were working on your feet figuring out strategies and techniques as you went along, what would you be doing different?

As head of voice, Cicely Berry says “My job is to get them [the actors] free from their left hand side of the brain, understanding and really hearing it for themselves.”

A coaching question to consider: Are you aware as a coach what your role is working with your clients?

I know, personally I can have many different roles depending upon the client I am working with and where they are at any given moment. Certainly, as a coach one of the roles that I am aware that I do is to assist my client to hear their own inner wisdom – instead of listening to the stories and logical reasons they had been telling themselves.

As it was a workshop you probably won’t be surprised to hear that we also saw the actors participating in various exercises designed to emphasis various technical aspects.

One of these exercises was about recognising the beat and rhythm of a particular piece as the underlying rhythm gives incredible energy and makes it active.

A different exercise focused upon demonstrating that it Isn’t necessarily the volume you speak but reaching out with constinents etc that means you can be heard even in the back row of the auditorium.

A coaching question to consider: what else could you do to add incredible energy to something you are currently working upon?

Even though more mature in her years and walking with the use of a stick, she still got up during exercises to stand in the middle of the action. She made sure that she was monitoring what was happening and what each participant was doing. Often the exercises involved lots of movement and quick changes in direction. In the middle of this if any actor turned unexpectedly in her direction she just put a hand in front of her and stood her ground so they didn’t unintentionally bump into her.

A coaching question to consider: What more can you do to be more in the middle of the action?

As I watched I was aware that if we were to use labels that coaches would be familiar with there were numerous examples that we could use.

For example, after explaining an exercise she asked a variation of the question “Do you mind doing that?”

You may be familiar as a coach with checking someones willingness to an action. This phrasing not only does that but also being a closed question she was inviting a straight forward yes or no answer without any “story” associated with that.

At the end of each exercise the participants were asked, “What did you get from that?” giving them the opportunity to reflect and reinforce the learning from the exercise.

So my final coaching question to consider this week is: “What can you learn/take from this post?”

Do You Know Enough To Be A Coach?

20 April 2012 in Guest Post tagged business coach / business coaching / change / charging / clean language / client / clients / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching courses / coaching methodology / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / executive coach / feedback / Judy Rees / knowledge / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / nlp coach / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / practice / referrals / starting coaching / x-ray listening

Judy Rees asks a question that many new to coaching asks themselves, in this week’s guest post:

Do You Know Enough To Be A Coach?

By Judy Rees

Are you a coach who actually coaches people? Or are you a perpetual preparer?

I often coach people who are in the process of becoming coaches. I’ve noticed a lot of beginners seem to attend endless workshops and events, learning more and more about how to be a coach, and how to market themselves as coaches, rather than getting on and actually doing it.

Using Clean Language questions and metaphor, I’ll help my clients to understand the pattern – and we’ll frequently discover that on the current plan, they’d never know enough to get started.

As Nicholas Taleb points out in The Black Swan, the more expert someone becomes, the more they realise what they don’t know.

“You will accumulate more knowledge and more books as you grow older, and the growing number of unread books on the shelves will look at you menacingly. Indeed, the more you know, the larger the rows of unread books,” he says.

If you are determined to become a coach, perhaps because you want to help people, it’s important to find a way to manage this. (Just getting a Kindle doesn’t do the trick!)

I like to pride myself on “making change happen, whatever happens” in my coaching work, and I have a pretty solid record of success.

But that success is not just based on knowing a lot of stuff – it’s based on having a coaching methodology that is robust enough to work well, even when I don’t know what’s going on for my client.

At one level, I have to accept, I’ll never know what’s happening. I can’t see the world exactly through my client’s eyes.

And the more clients I have, the more I learn… and the more I realise I don’t know.

If you suspect you might be a perpetual preparer, I’d strongly suggest shifting your attention towards finding a robust coaching methodology that works well for you (Clean Language is my suggestion: others are available) and then getting started.

Practice, get feedback, practice some more, get referrals… and enjoy discovering how much you don’t know.

About the Author/Further Resources

Judy Rees is an author, mentor and information marketer, and an expert in Clean Language and metaphor. Her blog is at www.xraylistening.com

You can learn Clean Language online, free on Judy’s new website http://learncleanlanguage.com

Decisions, decisions, decisions 1

13 April 2012 in Guest Post tagged business coach / business coaching / charging / chunking / client / clients / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / Confidence After Cancer / executive coach / future pace / Gabby Mottershead / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / nlp coach / Parts Integration / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / questioning / reframe / resources / self sabotage Ralph Waldo Emerson / test / Tony Robbins / Visual squash

Coach Gabby Mottershead shares, in this week’s guest post, a technique she’s used with a client feeling overwhelmed.

Decisions, decisions, decisions

by Gabby Mottershead

‘It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped’ according to Tony Robbins. I have been thinking about him a lot recently as I am working as crew at his Unleash the Power weekend in London soon. I am very excited about this, his events are always amazing. As well as helping the attendees with their goals, I know it will be a great time for me to reflect upon my own journey, and also to connect with some great people.

Helping clients who are stuck with decisions they want to make is an area I get a lot of personal satisfaction from. I know it is sometime easy to feel overwhelmed with the amount of choices we have to make, and many people feel paralysed, unable to choose between two equally great choices, or two equally unappealing ones. This week I had a great result with a client using ‘Parts Integration’, also known as ‘Visual Squash’

This tool is very useful for coaching clients who have decisions to make, and let’s face it, that is most of them.

If you are not familiar with it the process is:

1. Identify the conflict and the issues involved

Key Questions: What does that give you? What’s important to you about that?

2. Create a visual image of each issue and place one in each hand

3. Separate intention from behaviour

a. Reframe (through questioning, what does this issue really mean) each part through chunking-up (getting to the ‘big picture’, the client starts with saying that they want a promotion, the key questions result in the client realising that they want to feel loved. Keep questioning until you find the ‘common intention’ of both sides of the dilemma, this is always the result that they want, which is usually a feeling.

A good example of this is ‘I need to earn more money’ being the issue. Questioning elicits that this means ‘visiting my son in Australia’, which means ‘I can feel loved and know I am a good mother’, which means ‘this will make me feel loved’ much more compelling, and once the client is conscious that this is the driving force, other solutions may appear to them.

b. Identify what resources (skills, knowledge, memories, etc) each side has that would be useful to the other part in achieving their highest intention

4. Suggest hands come together while the two images come together through a series of images that create a third image that is an integration of the two

5. Bring the third ‘integrated’ representation inside

6. Check ecology, to the coach shifts in thinking are very obvious, red faces are common!

7. Test and future pace

Once you have those key words from step 1, it is quite easy to play those back to the client as the driving forces behind the course of action that is right for them

Not only is this good for clients, it is a very playful way to work on your own decisions to be made. I realise that I suffer with serial incongruity, in plain English, I repeat the same patterns in my own behaviour, and just one example is yo-yo dieting. I believe once you recognise these patterns, it is easy to change them; it is recognising them that can be a challenge.

An interesting twist I was recently introduced to was the assertion that there is no thing as self sabotage, only competing intentions. Mmmm some coaches I know talk at length about the self saboteur, so who is right?

I would say, whatever works for you.

I hope this is useful, thanks to Kate Trafford for reminding me about this tool.

I would love to hear from other coaches who use this model, I love it.

Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

About the Author/Further Resources

Gabby Mottershead, founder of Confidence After Cancer, an organisation that provides coaching and support for women after cancer treatment.

Gabby was inspired to start this support and coaching non profit based on her own experience, she was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive breast cancer in 2008 aged 44. Following chemotherapy, surgeries, and radiotherapy, she suffered with depression and lack of confidence .She realised that there is lots of support for cancer patients during their treatment, but when that ends you are very much alone. She started to connect with other people on Facebook, and set up a support group, and was stunned by the numbers of women who contacted her saying they felt the same, and had nowhere to turn to.

It is a sobering fact that that breast cancer survivors are 37 percent more likely to commit suicide, and depression and anxiety are common (Source the Journal of Cancer Institute) and that this elevated risk continues for at least 25 years after diagnosis.

Gabby provides 121 and group coaching and has been approached by local hospitals to run sessions for them, as the medical teams acknowledge that they are not able to support cancer survivors in the way that they would like to.

Gabby is passionate about holistic care, Reiki, NLP and her mission is to inspire healthy minds and healthy bodies.

Follow her

Twitter : @gabbymot

Blog: http://gabbymottershead.wordpress.com/

Website : www.confidenceac.co.uk

https://www.facebook.com/ConfidenceAfterCancer

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall, Who Is The Best Of Them All? 1

6 April 2012 in Guest Post tagged awareness / business coach / business coaching / charging / client / clients / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / executive coach / Frederique Murphy / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / mirror / Mountain Moving Mindset / nlp coach / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / refer / style

Coach Frederique Murphy shares her expertise and knowledge in today’s guest post as she asks:

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall, Who Is The Best Of Them All?

by Frederique Murphy

As coaches, I think that it is very important for each of us to know our coaching style, and I mean, to really to know it. Knowing your coaching style inside-out will enable you to optimise your coaching abilities, and as a result, maximise your results with your clients.

What is interesting, is while there have been some coaching styles, identified in previous researches, white papers, studies, my view is that there are as many coaching styles as there are stars in the sky, and each style has its weaknesses and strengths. You see, each of you have your own style; you are your very own individual, and as a coach, this is reflected in your way of being, you way of doing, your way of acting, your way of working: in a nutshell, your coaching style.

As coaches, we have all learned how to be coaches, and, I believe that — no matter, what course, qualification, certification, diploma, degree…, you’ve undertaken — our very own unique coaching style, while existing from the very first session, will continue to grow throughout our coaching career, as we continue to learn, stretch and grow as individuals.

So, do increase your awareness and find out as much as you can, about your coaching style; the more you consciously know about it, the best relationships and results you will get and the more apt you will be in conveying your methods and ways to your leads and clients.

(Note, it would be impossible to do a thorough list, so this is not an exhaustive list!)

Do you talk?

Do you ask questions?

Do you interrupt?

Do you use humour?

Do you use authority?

Do you speak firmly?

Do you give tough love?

Do you shock?

Do you push?

Do you nudge?

Do you guide?

Do you recommend?

Do you hold accountability?

etc, etc, etc…

As coaches, we mostly do all of these; the differences, depending on your coaching style, is in the “How much?”:

How much do you talk?

How much do you ask questions?

How much do you interrupt?

How much do you use humour?

How much do you use authority?

How much do you speak firmly?

How much do you give tough love?

How much do you shock?

How much do you push?

How much do you nudge?

How much do you guide?

How much do you recommend?

How much do you hold accountability?

etc, etc, etc…

And, know that your coaching style will not suit everyone. And I am not using the word everyone as in everyone in the world, I also mean, as in, everyone, within your focused and targeted audience.

For instance, if you target male adults, who are transitioning out of their “9-5 job” and moving to entrepreneurship, while this audience shows that you have a targeted audience, still, be ready, that all of the people who match this description will not, and I am going to use a word, you might not like, will not like you as their coach.

Accept this and move forward; the happier, more fulfilled, more satisfied your relationship is with your clients, the best they are getting from you, and this shows that your style is suiting them.

There are several processes and systems you can have in place in your coaching practice, to try as much as possible to find these good matches. The reason why I use the word try is that I believe that there is not a way to know at 100% before starting coaching a client, if this is going to be a good match. I also believe, that as you go from new to the coaching world to becoming an experienced coach, you will get close to that 100%. There are a few things you can do: before starting working together, and before your first coaching session, have a conversation, where you will be able to ask questions; you can also, request for your prospective client to fill in a questionnaire. Having both the conversation and the questionnaire, will give you a lot of answers, even before starting working together. And, once you start, remember, to have the necessary documentation in place, from contract and terms and conditions, to frames and well defined outcomes.

But, I hear you say, “but I want to help them all!”

Here is what you can do: first, and preferably, do not, this will not end well, for both you, and the client you took on; second, sometimes, no matter what filters you use, this will happen, and as you are very well aware of your style, very soon in the relationship you will notice some signs, some behaviours, that will indicate to you, that the relationship is not working. As coaches, our main primary intent, is for the client to get what they need, right? And, sometimes, as hard as it may sound, it is up to the coach, you, to realise that you might not be what they need.

When this happens, refer your client to another coach. Remember, another coach, will have a different style, and that style might suit your client better. One thing, I want to add: it is not because you do not like other styles, that you should avoid referring clients to other coaches, with different coaching styles; I know it might read funny, at first, but think about it. You more than likely coach the way you would personally like to be coached, but do not let your own needs shadow your judgement and your client might absolutely love this other coach, while, you would more than likely not, see what I mean? Have your client’s best interest at heart, and refer to the best coach for them.

So, remember:

Your coaching style will be the best for some, and completely clash for others.

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall, Who Is The Best Of Them All?

You, my coach, are the best of all.

BUT, You are not a one size fits all.

About the Author/Further Resources

FrederiqueMurphy EventB Medium Frederique Murphy is a business mindset strategist, who founded her business to focus on her passion: transformation! Thanks to her Mountain Moving Mindset programme, Frederique empowers business owners, entrepreneurs, and corporate executives to master their mindset, so that they can move mountains and bring their life and their business to a whole new level! She shares her M3 Power through her coaching and mentoring packages, her published books & articles, her award-winning blog and newsletters, and her unique live events. For more information on Frederique’s transformational range of products and services, visit FrederiqueMurphy.com, get your free M3 Power, and start climbing now!

Is it history?

2 April 2012 in General life improvement tagged business coach / business coaching / career coaching / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching session / coaching skills / coaching techniques / executive coach / history / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / perception / performance coaching / personal development / resource / time

This was originally published as a bonus article in the Coaching Confidence weekly email during May 2011. To start getting your very own copy each week enter your details under “Don’t miss a thing!” to the right of this page.

Is it history?

One of the subjects I studied at university was history. There are skills, methods of analysis and approaches that I still use in my day-to-day life which may not be obvious.

There are also other skills and knowledge that I learnt directly from studying that subject which are far more obvious. For example an ongoing project has been researching my own family history – knowing my way round certain historical records is rather helpful for that.

I’m also involved in recording onto databases certain historical records to make them more accessible and easily searchable. Some of these records are hand written, while others may be typed. They are all from a past era in time and it can take some time to become familiar with the language that is being used.

I don’t mean that the records that I’m working on are written in a language other than English – there is just specific terminology that can take some interpretation.

Some documents can be really easy to understand and interpret. Others can take longer as I adjust to someone’s particular handwriting style or the abbreviations they may have been using.

Projects can be a straightforward list of names etc and can be more repetitive in the work needed as well as more superficial with your understanding of the data. Others involve far more involvement.

One of the projects that I recently did was make a record of names that appeared in newspapers. This was an African American paper from the turn of the 20th century and there was a story within one of the pages that recorded disturbances after a mesmerism act had visited town.

It appeared that some of the local youths had learnt some mesmerism skills and had used these for their own amusement. An example of a disturbance was one boy who stood up and shouted in Sunday school every time a particular phrase was used!

I’d be very surprised if at the time the instigator of this act would imagine that in over 100 years time someone would be reading about their exploits and sharing the account with others.

I also wonder if those who had been upset by the situation would still have the same feelings if they were looking back on it from 100 plus years into the future – would it still seem important to them?

As a coach I have seen plenty of clients make use of the benefit of hindsight – both actual and when someone imagines looking back at an event from the future. You may even have guided a client to think of something in the past and seen the difference it made to them.

As an individual I also know that sometimes just taking that step back from a situation, often makes it seem far less significant or scary. It can also put things into a much wider context.

Today I invite you to play with the following:

Pick a situation or scenario that you are currently stuck with or want a new perspective.
Make sure that you are in an environment where it is safe for you to be distracted – for example do not do this when driving a car!
Imagine that you have somehow travelled 100+ years into the future and someone else is reading an account of that situation
From this new perspective, 100 + years into the future, notice what your thoughts are now.
From 100 + years in the future become aware of any advice/action you would share with the you from 2012.
When you are ready bring your attention fully back to 2012, bringing any observations and advice back with you that you want to and is appropriate.

Feel free to take any action you want to with your new perspective.

Love

Jen

About the Author

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

She has created a free 7 day e-course about how to create your own unique coaching welcome pack that works for you and your clients. Get your copy here.