“Life would be easy enough if we were not continually exerting ourselves to forge new chains, and invent absurd formalities which make it a burden.” (Honoré de Balzac)
Questions For Coaches:
How do you guide clients in recognizing and breaking free from the “chains” they’ve forged themselves?
What “chains” have you forged connected to your coaching that hinder your growth?
What areas of your life feel unnecessarily complex, and how might you simplify them?
Bonus Questions
What role does thought play in creating the sense of pressure from societal norms, and how can you address it?
How does focusing on what truly matters reduce the pressures you place on yourself?
What processes or formalities in your coaching business are unnecessary and causing inefficiency?
If life was eve easier, what would be different?
About Jen Waller
Jen Waller is a transformative coach dedicated to empowering individuals to get out of their own way and make a meaningful impact in the world. With an impactful, nurturing coaching style, Jen supports clients in unlocking their potential and achieving their goals. As an experienced coach and trainer, she guides clients from self-doubt to success.
Discover how Jen can support you to get out of your own way here.
“A hen is heavy over a long distance.” (Irish proverb)
At first glance, when we take this proverb literally, it makes sense that if we carry anything over a long period of time then it does indeed seem to get heavier.
The first memory that sprang to my mind was from when I used to walk an elderly small dog. On one occasion, she decided she was tired and had had enough of this stroll. Which meant I ended up carrying her back home down the road. She was delighting in this regal treatment, and insisting she paused to let anyone passing admire her at this new vantage height. The road usually seemed like a short stretch, but she seemed to get heavier, and the road longer, the longer I carried her!
At its core, the Irish proverb “A hen is heavy over a long distance” offers profound wisdom that extends far beyond the literal interpretation. It speaks to the weightiness that accumulates with prolonged carrying or holding onto something, whether physical or mental.
Reflecting on my experience of carrying the elderly dog down the road, I couldn’t help but draw parallels to the burdens we carry in our minds. Just as the dog seemed to grow heavier with each step, our thoughts, especially the repetitive ones, can weigh us down over time. These thoughts, often labelled as beliefs, have a way of becoming heavier and more burdensome the longer we hold onto them.
In coaching, we recognize that beliefs are not static truths, but rather habitual patterns of thought that we’ve given significance to. They can shape our perceptions, emotions, and behaviours, influencing our experience of reality. However, the beauty of the human mind is its innate capacity for fluidity and change.
When we begin to see our thoughts for what they are—transient mental events rather than concrete realities—we open the door to freedom and transformation. Just as the dog became lighter once I put her down, our burdensome thoughts lose their weight when we release our grip on them.
It’s a simple yet profound shift in perspective: from being controlled by our thoughts to recognizing that we are the thinkers engaging with them. This realization empowers us to let go of unhelpful beliefs and embrace a lighter, more fluid way of being.
So how do we release the weight of heavy thoughts? It starts with awareness. By becoming mindful that even though our thinking can seem so real at times, it has an illusory nature, we can observe them without getting entangled in them. We can choose to step back and question the validity of our beliefs, recognizing that they are simply mental constructs, not immutable truths.
In the coaching process, we guide our clients in this journey of self-discovery and liberation. We help them see beyond the illusion of their heavy thoughts, encouraging them to explore new perspectives and possibilities. Through compassionate inquiry and gentle guidance, we support them in letting go of limiting beliefs and embracing a mindset of openness and curiosity.
Sometimes, the act of letting go happens spontaneously, like a heavy burden slipping off our shoulders when we least expect it. Other times, it requires patience and persistence as we gradually loosen our grip on ingrained patterns of thought. But with each moment of release, we experience a newfound sense of lightness and freedom.
In essence, the proverb “A hen is heavy over a long distance” serves as a poignant reminder to examine the weight of our thoughts and beliefs. By acknowledging their transient nature and cultivating a mindset of openness and fluidity, we can lighten the load we carry and move through life with greater ease and joy.
About Jen Waller
Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.
As an experienced coach and trainer, Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.
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