awareness

A Challenge Every Coach Faces… and what to do about it

 in Guest Post  tagged awareness / clients / coaches / coaching / experience / Ling Wong / message / tools / training

In today’s guest post Ling Wong shares some of her experience and knowledge as a business and marketing coach:

A Challenge Every Coach Faces… and what to do about it

By Ling Wong

"A Challenge Every Coach Faces… and what to do about it" by Ling Wong

 

As ‪coaches and mentors, how much are we “diagnosing” our clients’ problems through the lens of the tools/skills we possess?

And by doing so, while we are offering a solution, are we in a way limiting our clients’ possibilities?

When I was working on my Sacred Money Archetype Coach Training, I interpreted many things that came up for my clients through the lens of money mindset. When I was getting my Fear Releasing Method certification, seemingly every problem’s root cause was fear.

While my clients were getting great results, I felt we might not have seen the problem in its entirety if I were to stick with just one particular tool or method.

We are all human. Having a point of view is inevitable, and probably desirable (especially if you are looking to position yourself uniquely in the marketplace.)

The challenge comes in when the nature of a coaching or mentoring relationship somewhat puts us in a position of being an “authority” (again, it’s not a bad thing. From a marketing perspective, we want to be seen as an expert or an authority. From a coaching perspective, clients DO want to be lead to a certain extant.)

Which means OUR point of view is going to impact the clients’ decisions and actions, therefore, the outcome.

(We don’t have to look far… I have worked with many clients who had hired business coaches or taken those $1,997 or $3,997 programs only to find themselves being squeezed through an “agenda”, and spat out of the “guru factory line.”  They got themselves into the “niche pickle,” building out business structure and going down a rabbit hole they have no business to be in.)

We can probably guide our clients to achieve an outcome that is “desirable” from an objective point of view. The question I want to pose is whether that is an outcome that serves THAT particular client best? Is it most aligned with his/her core value, identity, beliefs etc.?

Here are a few thoughts on how we can mitigate this challenge:

  1. Cultivate Awareness

Let’s start with the assumption that there is no way around the fact that we have our own point of view.

The first step is to cultivate the awareness that we do bring our own filters into a coaching/mentoring relationship.

Our clients probably hire us because they resonate with our point of view and that’s why they want our guidance.

However, I believe when we are expressing our own opinions we can make it clear that it is our point of view and thus just one way to approach their challenges.

Our role is to expand our clients’ thinking and help them see their challenges from different perspectives, instead of (unintentionally) steering them into one particular decision or action that stems from our perspective.

  1. You Are Not Your Trainings and Certifications

A lot of times the way we approach a problem is determined by our skills and the tools we have at our disposal.

“If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.”

It is important to not to let the “tools du jour” drive our coaching conversations. (More on It’s OK to Say Thank You and Now F*** Off To Your Trainings and Certifications)

Instead, what is the bigger message that drives your work? What is the identity you want to inspire your clients to take on? What beliefs you want to instill in your clients so they can achieve their goals in alignment with what’s true for them?

From there, what tools and methods can you apply, for your clients’ greatest good instead of a self-gratuitous way of using a tool just because you paid money to learn it?

  1. Lead with a Deeper, Bigger Message

Maybe it is about exploring a deeper message, so when we approach a challenge with a client, it’s not about finding a tool-driven solution but a identity/belief-driven solution that can encompasses multiple approaches and perspectives.

This may mean, for many of my multi-passionate and multi-talented peeps, is to gather all their skills, experience, talents, superpowers and ideas, tap into their beliefs and conviction, to device a cohesive message that transcends individual skills and tools.

By doing so, it gives you the framework and allows you the freedom to choose what new skills you want to learn, and what tools you want to add to your toolbox, without having to “redefine” what you do every time, or look like a Jack-of-all-trades.

This framework also acts as a filter so you can avoid the Bright Shiny Object Syndrome, and invest your time, money and effort on what truly matters to YOU.

By having this ONE cohesive message, you will not only be able to give your clients a more inclusive and expansive container to grow and explore, but you will also create more powerful marketing communication because of the clarity, conviction and confidence you achieve in your business.

>> Grab this free training to see how to turn ALL your big ideas into ONE cohesive message that sells.

About Ling Wong

Ling is an Intuitive Brainiac. Through her unique blend of Business + Marketing coaching with a Mindset + Psychic Twist, she helps the highly creative, intuitive, multi-talented and multi-passionate maverick solo-entrepreneurs distill ALL their big ideas into ONE cohesive Message, nail the WORDS that sell and design a Plan to cut the busywork and do what matters, through her intuitive yet rigorous iterative process born out of her Harvard Design School training and 10 years of experience in the online marketing industry.

Find Ling and grab her free “How to Find YOUR Winning Formula” Training Series at http://business-soulwork.com/ywf-free/

 

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall, Who Is The Best Of Them All? 1

 in Guest Post  tagged awareness / business coach / business coaching / charging / client / clients / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / executive coach / Frederique Murphy / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / mirror / Mountain Moving Mindset / nlp coach / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / refer / style

Coach Frederique Murphy shares her expertise and knowledge in today’s guest post as she asks:

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall, Who Is The Best Of Them All?

by Frederique Murphy

As coaches, I think that it is very important for each of us to know our coaching style, and I mean, to really to know it. Knowing your coaching style inside-out will enable you to optimise your coaching abilities, and as a result, maximise your results with your clients.

What is interesting, is while there have been some coaching styles, identified in previous researches, white papers, studies, my view is that there are as many coaching styles as there are stars in the sky, and each style has its weaknesses and strengths. You see, each of you have your own style; you are your very own individual, and as a coach, this is reflected in your way of being, you way of doing, your way of acting, your way of working: in a nutshell, your coaching style.

As coaches, we have all learned how to be coaches, and, I believe that — no matter, what course, qualification, certification, diploma, degree…, you’ve undertaken — our very own unique coaching style, while existing from the very first session, will continue to grow throughout our coaching career, as we continue to learn, stretch and grow as individuals.

So, do increase your awareness and find out as much as you can, about your coaching style; the more you consciously know about it, the best relationships and results you will get and the more apt you will be in conveying your methods and ways to your leads and clients.

(Note, it would be impossible to do a thorough list, so this is not an exhaustive list!)

Do you talk?

Do you ask questions?

Do you interrupt?

Do you use humour?

Do you use authority?

Do you speak firmly?

Do you give tough love?

Do you shock?

Do you push?

Do you nudge?

Do you guide?

Do you recommend?

Do you hold accountability?

etc, etc, etc…

As coaches, we mostly do all of these; the differences, depending on your coaching style, is in the “How much?”:

How much do you talk?

How much do you ask questions?

How much do you interrupt?

How much do you use humour?

How much do you use authority?

How much do you speak firmly?

How much do you give tough love?

How much do you shock?

How much do you push?

How much do you nudge?

How much do you guide?

How much do you recommend?

How much do you hold accountability?

etc, etc, etc…

And, know that your coaching style will not suit everyone. And I am not using the word everyone as in everyone in the world, I also mean, as in, everyone, within your focused and targeted audience.

For instance, if you target male adults, who are transitioning out of their “9-5 job” and moving to entrepreneurship, while this audience shows that you have a targeted audience, still, be ready, that all of the people who match this description will not, and I am going to use a word, you might not like, will not like you as their coach.

Accept this and move forward; the happier, more fulfilled, more satisfied your relationship is with your clients, the best they are getting from you, and this shows that your style is suiting them.

There are several processes and systems you can have in place in your coaching practice, to try as much as possible to find these good matches. The reason why I use the word try is that I believe that there is not a way to know at 100% before starting coaching a client, if this is going to be a good match. I also believe, that as you go from new to the coaching world to becoming an experienced coach, you will get close to that 100%. There are a few things you can do: before starting working together, and before your first coaching session, have a conversation, where you will be able to ask questions; you can also, request for your prospective client to fill in a questionnaire. Having both the conversation and the questionnaire, will give you a lot of answers, even before starting working together. And, once you start, remember, to have the necessary documentation in place, from contract and terms and conditions, to frames and well defined outcomes.

But, I hear you say, “but I want to help them all!”

Here is what you can do: first, and preferably, do not, this will not end well, for both you, and the client you took on; second, sometimes, no matter what filters you use, this will happen, and as you are very well aware of your style, very soon in the relationship you will notice some signs, some behaviours, that will indicate to you, that the relationship is not working. As coaches, our main primary intent, is for the client to get what they need, right? And, sometimes, as hard as it may sound, it is up to the coach, you, to realise that you might not be what they need.

When this happens, refer your client to another coach. Remember, another coach, will have a different style, and that style might suit your client better. One thing, I want to add: it is not because you do not like other styles, that you should avoid referring clients to other coaches, with different coaching styles; I know it might read funny, at first, but think about it. You more than likely coach the way you would personally like to be coached, but do not let your own needs shadow your judgement and your client might absolutely love this other coach, while, you would more than likely not, see what I mean? Have your client’s best interest at heart, and refer to the best coach for them.

So, remember:

Your coaching style will be the best for some, and completely clash for others.

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall, Who Is The Best Of Them All?

You, my coach, are the best of all.

BUT, You are not a one size fits all.

About the Author/Further Resources

FrederiqueMurphy EventB MediumFrederique Murphy is a business mindset strategist, who founded her business to focus on her passion: transformation! Thanks to her Mountain Moving Mindset programme, Frederique empowers business owners, entrepreneurs, and corporate executives to master their mindset, so that they can move mountains and bring their life and their business to a whole new level! She shares her M3 Power through her coaching and mentoring packages, her published books & articles, her award-winning blog and newsletters, and her unique live events. For more information on Frederique’s transformational range of products and services, visit FrederiqueMurphy.com, get your free M3 Power, and start climbing now!

 

 

Developing Better Habits 1

 in Guest Post  tagged acceptance / Amber Fogarty / Aristotle / awareness / Bill Moyer / business coach / business coaching / change / charging / client / clients / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / executive coach / future / habits / leadership / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / Nathaniel Branden / nlp coach / past / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / present / SOS Coaching Network / SOSleadership

In the first guest post of 2012, coach Amber Fogarty discusses something she talks about a lot with clients.

Developing Better Habits

by Amber Fogarty

In our work with clients, we talk a lot about developing better habits. In fact, when people ask me to tell them more about what SOS Leadership does, I often reply, “We’re in the habit change business.” All of us, as coaches, are in the habit change business. Habit change is inherently connected to leadership development.

The most basic definition of leadership is influence. As a leader, the way you influence others, and ultimately lead them, is your personal choice. With that choice comes great responsibility.

In the SOS Leadership Seeds of Success program, we define the responsibilities of leadership. The first responsibility is one that can bring a certain amount of pressure and anxiety when we consider it in light of our weaknesses and bad habits:

People become like their leader.

When I think about this, at times it makes me feel uneasy. Yes, there are many positive traits that I wouldn’t mind others learning from me, but there are just as many negative characteristics that I don’t want to pass on to anyone, especially those who consider me to be a leader in their lives.

But what can I do to develop better habits? How can I overcome habits that have developed over many years?

First and foremost, I have to name them. Yes, I have to say out loud what habits I need to change and why. As Nathaniel Branden once said, “The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.” Reflecting on Nathaniel’s words, I know that this is easier said than done. For the most part, we are all aware of our shortcomings, but we don’t necessarily accept them. I agree that we have to understand and accept that we are the way we are today; however, beginning right now we can commit to becoming a better version of ourselves.

SOS Leadership co-founder Bill Moyer reminds our clients often that the past does not equal the future, but the past does equal the present. We need to understand where we’ve been in order to fully commit to changing the future.

Once we are aware of the habits we want to change and have accepted that change is desired and necessary, then we have to make a commitment to developing better habits. This includes developing a written goal, complete with an action plan, for each habit we want to develop. The plan should identify the benefits to be gained by developing this particular habit, as well as the losses to be avoided if we do not change. Beyond that, the plan needs to spell out each obstacle and how to overcome it, as well as how we will track our progress and who we will ask to hold us accountable.

Don’t underestimate the power of tracking and accountability. These are vitally important components of your plan and will help you to always be aware of your progress and challenged when you get off track.

So what habits will you commit to developing (or changing) this year? In the words of Aristotle, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” A new year is the perfect time to make a change. Go for it! Become more excellent!

About the Author/Further Resources

Amber Fogarty is a Partner and Coach with SOS Leadership Institute and the SOS Coaching Network, which unites an elite group of coaches, trainers, and consultants from around the world, providing them with personalized programs, coaching, and tools to help them succeed in the rapidly growing coaching industry. Learn more at www.soscoachingnetwork.com.

Using Coaching Questions to develop your Social Media Strategy

 in Guest Post  tagged awareness / business coach / business coaching / charging / client / clients / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / executive coach / Facebook / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / LinkedIn / loyalty / measurement / Nicky Kriel / nlp coach / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / questions / sales / social media / social media strategy / Twitter

In this weeks guest post, communications coach and social networking expert, Nicky Kriel shares how you can use your coaching skills when developing your social media strategy.

Using Coaching Questions to develop your Social Media Strategy

by Nicky Kriel

Are you using Social Media to help grow your Coaching Business? It is very easy to say you do Social Media as a business because you have a Twitter, LinkedIn or Facebook account, but do you have a Social Media strategy? So many businesses rush into setting up accounts without looking at the bigger picture.

Have you thought what you want to achieve through Social Media and how you will know when you’ve achieved it? It is so important to start with the end in mind; otherwise, you could get caught up in the chat, or find it to be an endless, mindless, unmeasured chore.

As a coach, have you ever asked your clients the following questions?

  • “What do you want?”
  • “And what will that do for you?”
  • “How will you know when you have achieved it?”

Have you thought of asking those questions to yourself about using Social Media for your business?

Here are some questions that will help you focus on what you want to get out of Social Media:

What’s the point?

  1. Awareness?
  2. Sales?
  3. Loyalty?

Pick one! Your focus will be very different according to which one you choose. For most small businesses the point of doing Social Media will be to build Awareness. More awareness tends to drive sales.

Where do your customers hangout?

To answer this question you will need to have a clear idea of who your customers are. Which Social Media platform are they most likely to use? Just because you might be comfortable using Facebook doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be using LinkedIn if your business is predominantly business to business.

What’s your business about?

Forget having a few minutes to explain your business. Can you clearly state what your business is about in one sentence? The clearer you are about your business, the more customers you will attract. It is wonderful being warm and fuzzy as a coach, but if you can’t get your message across concisely, you will struggle to get new clients. On Social Media you have 120 characters on LinkedIn (The Headline) and 160 characters on Twitter (your Bio). People will make a decision whether or not to follow you or connect with you based on what you have written.

Do you have a list of keywords? It is worth spending a few minutes jotting down at least 10 words as your keywords. When you post updates or tweet are you using your keywords?

What’s your one Thing?

What makes you special? What is the one word that you would like to be associated with you? Disney has the word “Magic” and Volvo has “Safety”: So what word is yours? Are you consistently getting that message across on your website, in your bio and in your updates?

How will you know?

How will you know if you have been successful using Social Media?

What will you see? – (Will it be more visits to your website or more email enquiries?)

Hear? (Is it the phone ringing more often?)

Or feel? (Will it be the satisfaction of working with someone new?)

If you don’t know what success means to you, how will you know if you are wasting your time? If what you are currently doing on social media is not helping your business, you need to do something different. Start with the end in mind.

It is worth thinking about because Social Media can grow your business if you are focussed about using it.

About the author

Nicky Kriel, Guildford’s Social Media Queen, is passionate about empowering small business owners to use Social Media to grow their business. Her background is in Marketing and Sales and she is a Master NLP Practitioner.

As a Communication Coach, she helps people remember the “Social” aspect of Social Networking: It is not all about tools and technology, but about people and human relations.

Aside from her private coaching clients, she runs Twitter, LinkedIn and Facebook workshops for business owners and bespoke courses for SMEs. Nicky really enjoys helping business owners to level the playing field by harnessing the power of social media.

You are welcome to follow Nicky on Twitter or like her “social media for newbies” Facebook page

Chuuut… Watch Out 1

 in Guest Post  tagged auditory / awareness / belief / business coach / business coaching / charging / client / clients / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / effective / executive coach / Frederique Murphy / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / Mountain Moving Mindset / nlp coach / non-verbal / observation / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / sensory acuity / visual

In this week’s guest post Frederique Murphy returns to shares her thoughts and expertise about how you, as a coach, can know how effective you are with your clients.

Chuuut… Watch Out!

By Frederique Murphy

One of the questions, coaches often ask me, whether directly or indirectly sharing their concerns, is about knowing how effective they are with their clients. And, most of the time, they’ll say (you might have heard that before ;-), and it usually starts with the B word: “But, coaching is not an exact science, there is no real way for me to know how my session is going…”

Well, let’s blast that belief, as I am sure you will all agree that this is a belief, which is not worth holding on to, as it is clearly limiting you and your coaching abilities.

Putting the results your clients will be producing and experiencing aside, what I’d like to focus on today is on the silence bits, as in, the answer to you knowing how it is going, can very often be found in what you clients are actually not saying verbally.

I believe the answer to do that is in developing an acute sense of awareness and observation, and it is one of the top skills, that a coach wants to always enhance throughout their career.

Here is a list of what you want to be watching out during your sessions; and for all of these, you want to particularly pay attention to the changes in:

  • blinking
  • breathing
  • energy / state
  • eye movements
  • lip size
  • muscle tone
  • pauses
  • posture
  • pupil size
  • skin colour
  • voice
    • pace
    • pitch
    • tone

See, this is where you go beyond the words of your clients and watch out for the non-verbal clues they are giving you.

Observing, noticing and interpreting these non-verbal clues is key in helping you assess how your session is going, in knowing how your words are being received, and how effective your communication is.

These clues are very often truer than the conscious words your clients are using as these are unconscious “leaks”. And, therefore, are fantastic true feedback for you as the coach.

Before wrapping up, I’d like to add one more thing, as I hear some of you asking already 😉 And, how about phone and Skype sessions?

Well, it is the same, you still can assess how your session is going by using some of these elements; the thing is that while you won’t be able to notice a skin tone change or a muscle change, you will find that you’ll put more emphasis on the auditory elements.

The more you practice, the more you will refine your sensory acuity, and start noticing the minute and subtle changes in your clients.My suggestion is to make a list of the sensory acuity elements you’d like to enhance and then systematically, pick one per week, and during that particular week, put extra focus on that one element. And, then repeat, for the next one. Etc, Etc!

To your ever-increasing awareness!

About the Author/Further Resources

Frederique MurphyCombining her business expertise, having been a business consultant for over 10 years, working on multi-millions programmes around the world and running a successful 6-figure business (she hit that figure within 9-months in business and then doubled it within the following 6 months!) and her mind expertise, being an international licensed NLP Master Practitioner & NLP Mind Coach, Frederique has developed the “Mountain Moving Mindset” programme, where she empowers business owners, entrepreneurs and solo-preneurs to master their mindset, so that they can move mountains and bring their businesses to the next level!

Once upon a time…! 2

 in Guest Post  tagged attitudes / awareness / behaviours / beliefs / business coach / business coaching / charging / client / clients / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / decisions / executive coach / Frederique Murphy / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / metaphor / nlp coach / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / states / stories

In this weeks Friday guest post, Frederique Murphy would like to tell us a story and discusses metaphors.

Once upon a time…!

By Frederique Murphy

I’ve been very much looking forward to writing this blog post and as I could see the date, fast approaching, I had decided to be open and only decide on what I was going to write about this week! I knew (that is a decision made on faith) that something would inspire me 😉

And, of course, here I am, I believe I have found the perfect topic to write about and I am delighted to share this post with you as I know that these words “Once upon a time…!” are key when working with your clients.

You see, earlier on this week, I participated in my first ever marathon. And, while I could write a post (which, by the way, I will more than likely do!) about running a marathon and the dozens of business parallels that exist, I’d like to look at the bigger picture and write about how you, as a coach or a coach-to-be, can use stories and metaphors during your sessions with your clients.

Stories and metaphors are phenomenally powerful and when used appropriately and with a clear outcome in mind, there are simply brilliant to help your client with whatever it is you are helping them with.

So, Once upon a time…!

And then, what, why and how, you may ask!

Let’s start at the beginning and define what we are looking at:

Story is a common term for a description of a sequence of events, or a statement regarding the facts pertinent to a situation in question. (Wikipedia)

A metaphor is a figure of speech that constructs an analogy between two things or ideas; the analogy is conveyed by the use of a metaphorical word in place of some other word. (Wikipedia)

The reason why I love using stories and metaphors with my clients is 2-fold.

On one hand, using stories and metaphors, during your sessions can help you, help your clients change, shift, transform, facilitate, expand, take action; all of these impacting their states, awareness, attitudes, beliefs, decisions, and behaviours; so, VERY powerful, right?

On the other hand, it makes you unique 😉 Now, what I mean by that, is while telling stories and metaphors will not make you unique in itself, by you telling your own stories and your own metaphors is unique. You and only you can draw from your own real-life stories and leverage these in your coaching practice and no one out there can utilise these events, and situations with the same power. Your past experiences make you unique and as a coach, you can leverage these events and situations and use them when working with your clients.

Personally, I like to create my metaphors on real-life stories. While there are books given you stories and metaphors you can use, I prefer to use my own stories and create my own metaphors as I feel that it creates a stronger experience for both the coach and the client.

Remember, feelings are powerful, and whatever state you want your client to be in, the faster way to induce that state is to be in it yourself; i.e., when I’ll explain that amazing feeling of crossing that finish line, after I ran, jogged and walked for 26.2 miles / 42 kilometres, I can guarantee you that I know I will be in that state, and my client will be there with me.

So, when you are with a client, and you suddenly feel that this is what you need, you can draw, very naturally, from your own experiences and help your clients get where they want to be.

Here are a couple of things to consider when creating your metaphors:

  • what are the states you want to induce in your client?
  • what are the themes you want to leverage with your client?
  • what are the key messages you want your client to take onboard?
  • what is it that you want your client to feel and then do as a result?

And, while telling your stories and metaphors:

  • use a variety of tones,
  • use sensory language (hear, feel, see, touch, taste, smell),
  • use humour (where appropriate!),

and, enjoy!

So, there you have it 😉

Most importantly, have fun and enjoy the process. Think back of your stories, think of the states, themes, key messages and go for it, trust your gut-feeling, you will know which story, which metaphor to use to help your client.

…And they lived happily ever after!

About the Author/Further Resources

Frederique Murphy

Combining her business expertise, having been a business consultant for over 10 years, working on multi-millions programmes around the world and running a successful 6-figure business (she hit that figure within 9-months in business and then doubled it within the following 6 months!) and her mind expertise, being an international licensed NLP Master Practitioner & NLP Mind Coach, Frederique has developed the “Mountain Moving Mindset” programme, where she empowers business owners, entrepreneurs and solo-preneurs to master their mindset, so that they can move mountains and bring their businesses to the next level!

She shares her M3 programme through her mentoring & coaching packages, published articles, blog, newsletters, and live events, where she passionately teaches and uniquely transfers the same skills, attitudes and systems that work for her to the business owners ready to reach new heights!