authenticity

What If It Didn’t Matter If You Were “Found Out”?: Authenticity And Perfection In Coaching

 in quote  tagged authenticity / coach / coaches / coaching / Found Out / imposter / Leonard Bacon / perfection / quote
A chalkboard background with text written in white chalk. The text reads: "'Thou shalt not get found out' is not one of God's commandments, and no man can be saved by trying to keep it." (Leonard Bacon)

Today’s quote is:

“‘Thou shalt not get found out’ is not one of God’s commandments, and no man can be saved by trying to keep it.” (Leonard Bacon)

In the world of coaching, I’ve spoken to many coaches over the years, and it often comes up that they feel an unspoken pressure to project an image of flawlessness. It may manifest as getting in the way of taking a specific action because “what would people think” or your mind is just so busy when it comes to a time when you want to be creative that the ideas just don’t flow. If you recognise that pressure, then maybe it shows up differently for you. Personally, it’s not a pressure that I’ve ever found helpful, and this quote, for me, serves as a powerful reminder that authenticity trumps the pursuit of perfection.

I approach coaching from a perspective that teaches us that our experience of life is created from the inside out, through the interplay of our thoughts, feelings, and perceptions. Embracing this understanding allows both coaches and clients to let go of the need to maintain a façade of perfection and instead embrace their true selves. (Spoiler alert: if you’ve not done this, and fear what you may find – I promise that your true self is not as bad as you fear, in fact I think you will be pleasantly surprised by what you experience.)

In coaching, whether it’s working with individuals, teams, or organisations, authenticity is key to building genuine connections and facilitating meaningful change. When coaches strive to “not get found out,” they are essentially hiding behind a mask, disconnecting themselves from their clients and undermining the trust essential for a fruitful coaching relationship. Clients can sense when a coach is being disingenuous, and this lack of authenticity can hinder progress and impede the coach-client dynamic.

Instead of striving to appear infallible, try embracing our own perceived imperfections and being willing to show up as our authentic selves, flaws and all. By modelling vulnerability, coaches create a safe space for clients to explore their own vulnerabilities and challenges without fear of judgment or shame.

Leonard Bacon’s quote speaks to the futility of trying to maintain a façade of perfection. No one is infallible, and pretending otherwise only serves to create distance and barriers between ourselves and others. In coaching, authenticity fosters genuine connections and allows for deeper exploration and growth. When coaches let go of the need to “not get found out,” they open themselves up to richer, more meaningful coaching experiences. I’ve found that it allows you to be more fully present with your client and fully listening without a lot on my mind.

Moreover, authenticity in coaching extends beyond the coach-client relationship—it also encompasses the coach’s relationship with themselves. When you understand the importance of self-awareness and self-compassion, you can recognise that we are human beings first and coaches second. We, too, are subject to the ebb and flow of our thoughts and feelings, exactly like our clients and all other humans!

By embracing our own authenticity, we lead by example, showing our clients that it’s okay to be imperfect, to make mistakes, and to learn and grow from them. We create an environment where vulnerability is celebrated, not feared, and where true transformation can occur.

In conclusion, Leonard Bacon’s quote serves as a poignant reminder for coaches of all disciplines to prioritise authenticity over the pursuit of perfection. Understanding that authenticity is the cornerstone of effective coaching, fostering trust, connection, and growth can make a significant impact on your coaching relationships. By embracing our imperfections and showing up as our authentic selves, we create space for profound transformation, both for ourselves and for our clients.

So, I leave you with an invitation to consider: What if it didn’t matter if you were ‘found out’? What if clients knew whatever it is you’re afraid they will discover, and still chose to work with you? How would that shift your approach to coaching, and what possibilities might emerge from such liberated authenticity?

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer, Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.

What Is A Good Example To Set In Coaching?

 in quote  tagged authenticity / coach / coaches / coaching / Good example / present / quote / thomas fuller
An off-white creamy coloured background material. A large embroidered green letter A is in the top right of the image. A blue flower is positioned where the horizontal bar of the A meets the right hand downward line, small purple flowers are sewn so they wrap around the left hand over the top curve of the letter and starting down the right hand side. The rest of the text reads: [A] good example is the best Sermon (Thomas Fuller)

Today’s quote is:

“A good example is the best Sermon.” (Thomas Fuller)

When you coach, are you ever aware of wanting to set a good example? I’m quite prepared to believe that this is something I’m more aware about because of who I generally work with. I have many conversations with those who are just starting out as coaches and are finding their own style and voice. Certainly, when I first started working with this group, I was more conscious about the structure of a session etc because one of the reasons they were coming was to experience coaching from a clients’ perspective, and I wanted to set a good example of questioning etc.

Over time, two things happened. First, so much of those skills I had been focusing upon that it became second nature. The second was that I came to see that the more present I am in a session and respond to the actual person in front of me, as opposed to any thinking I have predicting how they may react to a question etc, then that had a much bigger impact than having the perfectly structured question etc.

I still occasionally think about setting a good example, but it’s from a different perspective. The more I live from this place, the more I see, then I just feel more authentic when talking to clients. I find that it helps a client to be honest with their answers if I am with mine – if they’re asking about something I’ve not looked at in any depth I’ve been known to say a variation of “I don’t know, shall we look together.” I’m also human, so if they’re sharing that they’ve had insecure thinking I’ve been known to say,

I think at some stage I thought that a good example was to be perfect – and that meant never having any insecure thinking, never feeling uncertain, always feeling confident and certain etc. Never feeling pressure and feeling stressed obviously meant I was failing.

I’d missed that that all came from the fact that as humans, we experience our thinking – and rather than having to go after every negative thought and change that, that looking above that to the nature of thought gives new perspective. It allows for any feeling of pressure or stress to act like an alarm call just to show my thinking is revved up right now. Or when I recognise insecure thinking, it can be a signal to pause and reflect rather than react impulsively. This shift in perspective has been transformative not only in my coaching practice but in my personal life as well.

When we coach, whether it’s in a formal session or an informal conversation, our example speaks volumes. Clients often look to us not just for guidance, but also for inspiration. They observe how we navigate challenges, how we handle uncertainty, and how we show up authentically in our interactions. In embracing our humanity and vulnerability, we give permission for others to do the same.

Setting a good example isn’t about perfection; it’s about authenticity and integrity. It’s about showing up as our true selves, flaws and all, and being willing to learn and grow alongside our clients. When we acknowledge our limitations and embrace our humanity, we create a space for genuine connection and empathy. I don’t know about you, but when I am a client, one of the things I choose my coaches based upon is that human connection. I don’t expect them to be perfect. In fact, it’s a great relief when they share what’s real for them.

Moreover, leading by example isn’t just about what we do; it’s also about how we are. Our presence, our energy, and our intentions shape the coaching dynamic in profound ways. When we approach our work with curiosity, compassion, and openness, we invite our clients to do the same.

I’m often reluctant to share the next piece of advice because I’m conscious that from a cynical perspective, this can look like a sales pitch. However, for me, investing the time and energy in having coaching conversations as a client allows me to speak from a more authentic place when talking to others about the benefits of coaching.

As Thomas Fuller reminds us, “A good example is the best Sermon.” In our role as coaches, we have the privilege and responsibility of being that example for our clients. By living our truth, embracing our humanity, and embodying the principles we teach, we inspire others to do the same. In doing so, we not only empower our clients to create positive change in their lives but also contribute to a more compassionate and resilient world.

So the next time you coach, remember the power of your example. Be authentic, be present, and be true to yourself. Your example may just be the best Sermon your clients ever receive. I leave you with an invitation to consider the example you want to set with your coaching. Your coaching style may differ from mine, so your answers may vary. Is that example serving you and your clients?

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer, Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.

Shine Bright: Navigating the Storms of Life with Authenticity

 in quote  tagged authenticity / coach / coaches / coaching / Lord Byron / quote / shine
This image is in a watercolour style. There is a green landscape at the bottom where a human figure is stood with their back to us with both their arms raised upwards. Tiny flecks of a golden yellow seem to be radiating out from this individual into the sky. The sky is oranges and reds blending into purple with some clouds. A rainbow is forming and goes out of sight at the top of the image. The text reads: "Be thou the rainbow to the storms of life, The evening beam that smiles the clouds away, And tints tomorrow with prophetic ray!"(Lord Byron)

Happy Wednesday! Apparently in the US today is Find a Rainbow day, so this seemed the time to have this quote as the quote of the day:

“Be thou the rainbow to the storms of life, The evening beam that smiles the clouds away, And tints tomorrow with prophetic ray!”(Lord Byron)

At its core, this quote resonates deeply with the imagery of a rainbow—a symbol of hope, resilience, and beauty emerging amidst adversity. Just as a rainbow is formed when sunlight refracts through raindrops, our inner light shines brightest when we navigate life’s storms with authenticity and grace.

Reflecting on the quote, I’m drawn to the symbolism of light—from both within and without. It reminds me that when we allow our inner light to shine, it refracts and reflects through our unique selves, touching the lives of those around us in profound ways. It’s when someone lights up, and those around them can feel the difference—a beacon of warmth and authenticity in a world often clouded by darkness.

Lord Byron’s words speak to the transformative power of authenticity and self-expression. It’s not about forcing positivity or happiness, but rather about embracing our true selves unapologetically. When we allow our souls to shine freely, we become beacons of light, capable of dispelling darkness and inspiring others with our warmth and authenticity.

In my coaching practice, I guide my clients to tap into their innate wisdom and resilience, helping them navigate life’s storms with grace and ease. Together, we explore the transformative power of perspective, recognising that our thoughts shape our reality. By cultivating resilience in the face of adversity and inner peace amidst chaos, my clients discover their capacity to envision a future filled with hope and possibility.

Does that mean that once you see this, you never experience insecure thinking again that dims or even seems to totally cover our inner light? Well, there may be someone particularly enlightened in the world that never experiences insecure thinking, but I’ve yet to meet them, and it certainly hasn’t been my experience.

What this understanding does do is make it easier to recognise any insecure thinking for what it is and that it only takes one fresh thought to appear instead and to fall back in touch with our own authentic self.

As far as I can gather, the invite for Find a Rainbow day is to look up into the sky and look for a colourful ray of hope across it. My additional invite is to look for that colourful ray of hope in yourself and others as well.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer, Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.

Waking Up and Thinking About Truth

 in quote  tagged authenticity / coach / coaches / coaching / communication / Eleanor Hallowell Abbott / marketing / quote / truth
This is a shot of a light grey table top from above. To the right there is a green leafy plant in a white pot. To the left, and taking up almost half the image is a clipboard. To the right of the clipboard is a ball point pen, with a black body with silver at both ends. On the clipboard is a piece of paper with a logo in the top left corner. On the paper is text that reads: "Now everybody who knows anything at all knows perfectly well that even a business letter does not deserve the paper on which it is written unless it contains at least one significant phrase that is worth waking up in the night to remember and think about." (Eleanor Hallowell Abbott)

Happy Thursday! Today’s quote is:

“Now everybody who knows anything at all knows perfectly well that even a business letter does not deserve the paper on which it is written unless it contains at least one significant phrase that is worth waking up in the night to remember and think about.” (Eleanor Hallowell Abbott)

I pick these quotes for a variety of reasons, they jump out at me sometimes because I love the way something is worded and what it is pointing towards. Other times it may be because I agree with some of what’s said and there’s a part that feels slightly off and seems to be screaming to have a blog post written about it. Then there are the quotes that fall into the category of what do I need/want to hear about, the ones on an area I’ve been pondering about. There’s an element of that in today’s.

What makes a message something that is worth waking up and thinking about?

In the past I think if I’d been writing this I’d have talked around eloquent and eloquence language use, but then I’d have missed out on something before that.

Abbott’s insight challenges us to look beyond the surface of language and into the heart of communication itself. While eloquence certainly has its place, the true power of a message lies in its ability to resonate deeply with its recipient. It’s about more than just stringing together impressive words or phrases; it’s about conveying meaning, evoking emotion, and sparking thought. In essence, it’s about crafting messages that touch the soul and linger in the mind long after they’ve been received.

I think that there are two angles that are likely to prompt someone to wake up at night and think about your communication. The first is when the communication deliberately plays to and stirs up insecure and fearful thinking. It’s the sort that goes one step further than just describing a situation – it’s the sort of messaging that if it was a real life person would be that individual that likes to over dramatise, burning sausages becomes burning down the house etc.

Speaking from Truth

The second is when you speak from Truth.

For me, the first angle highlights the importance of ethical communication that uplifts and empowers rather than manipulates or instils fear. When messages deliberately play on insecurities or exaggerate situations for dramatic effect, they may grab attention momentarily but ultimately erode trust and authenticity. In contrast, speaking from Truth involves communicating with integrity, honesty, and compassion. It’s about sharing insights and perspectives that resonate with our deepest values and beliefs, fostering connection and understanding rather than division or fear.

I understand that this isn’t everyone’s perspective. I do think it explains why so many I speak to find the idea of marketing as “yuck”, they usually feel like it’s some sort of dirty thing that they need to do in order to do the thing that they love – coaching. They usually have a lot of thinking about how it should be done, and it feels like it’s a constant struggle to get the energy and motivation to do any communication that falls under the category of marketing or sales communication.

What if you can flip the script on traditional marketing and instead focus on authentically sharing your truth and value with others? What if marketing became an opportunity to connect deeply with your audience, to inspire and uplift them rather than manipulate or instil fear? By embracing Abbott’s insight and speaking from Truth, you can transform your communication into something that resonates on a profound level, leaving a lasting impact on those who receive it.

Imagine crafting messages that not only capture attention but also touch the hearts and minds of your audience, prompting them to reflect, engage, and take meaningful action. Instead of resorting to flashy tactics or empty promises, you can authentically share your passion, expertise, and vision with the world. This shift in perspective can turn marketing from a chore into a powerful tool for connection and transformation.

So, how do you speak from Truth in your communication? When you communicate from a place of authenticity and alignment with your core principles, your message naturally resonates with sincerity and integrity. I suspect that depending upon your own coaching approach, you may already know how to do that – maybe by getting clear on your values, beliefs, and the unique contribution you have to offer. Or just by getting really quiet and letting your own wisdom and creativity guide you. It will let you become a beacon of light in a sea of noise, drawing in those who resonate with your message and repelling those who don’t – and that’s okay.

Many years ago, I had a conversation with someone who didn’t go on to become a client. In fact, at one point during the call, I was seriously wondering if someone was pranking me. They said that they were having problems finding anyone who wanted to coach with them.

Upon questioning, it became obvious that they hated coaching, they didn’t like questioning people, in fact I suspect that in that moment they’d have broadened it to they didn’t really like people and couldn’t see any value in coaching. They really didn’t understand why anyone would voluntarily be a coaching client, let alone pay for it. When asked why they wanted to be a coach, they were honest and said it was because they thought it was an easy way to get money. If I had to guess, I’d say their potential clients were picking up on all of that and being repelled.

Moreover, speaking from Truth doesn’t mean you have to have all the answers or be perfect. It’s about being genuine, transparent, and vulnerable, acknowledging your humanity and inviting others to join you on the journey. When you approach communication with humility and openness, you create space for authentic connection and collaboration, fostering relationships built on trust and mutual respect.

I’m in the process of transitioning how I work to solely working as a Transformative coach, as opposed to any other type of coaching I’ve blended in the past. It’s been how my coaching has naturally evolved, and eventually it became evident to me that it was time to work completely in this form. Which means the way that I’m talking about my work is also transitioning to be a truer reflection of what I now do.

The way I’m doing that is to give myself permission that for a bit it won’t be as eloquent or diligent in my use of language as I try and find the way that is the best description of how I work now and what that is all about.

I’m guessing that if you’ve read this far, you could be in a similar situation and hoping for inspiration to strike. If so, I invite you to do two things:

i) to give your permission for this to seem clunky at first – don’t set yourself the expectation that it’s got to be perfect on the very first draft.

ii) let yourself get as quiet as you know how, and start by “fishing” for words that seem like they’re a fit. It may be that you think that the words that come up just seem really obvious and doesn’t that apply to everyone – without knowing the word then maybe, but in my experience what often happens is that words that come up that seem obvious are the ones that resonate must with how you work.

For example, nurturing is one that often came up for me. It’s always resonated and for me was an integral part of coaching – it took a mentor pointing out that not everyone coaches from that place that I came to recognise that for myself. And that can be modified and played with overtime – as I transition to completely being a transformational coach, what feels right as a description is impactful nurturing.

In conclusion, Eleanor Hallowell Abbott’s quote reminds us of the profound impact that meaningful communication can have on both the sender and the receiver. It challenges us to move beyond surface-level interactions and embrace the power of authentic expression. By speaking from Truth, we can transform our communication into a force for positive change, fostering connection, understanding, and empowerment. So, as you navigate your coaching journey, remember the importance of crafting messages that resonate with sincerity and integrity. Embrace your unique voice, share your passion, and invite others to join you on the journey toward growth, transformation, and fulfilment.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer, Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.

Beyond Judgment: Creating a Coaching Space of Understanding and Acceptanc

 in quote  tagged authenticity / coach / coaches / coaching / judgement / quote / Rumi
Thius is a dreamlike image. In the distance there is a treeline with a golden sunrise coming over the horizon so the sky is yellow and red blending into a nights sky with stars. A rolling green field fills the rest of the image with golden sparkly specks in the air adding to that dreamlike feel. It has a tranquil sense, a space of no judgement. The text reads: "Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there." (Rumi)

Happy Monday! Today’s quote is:

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” (Rumi)

Rumi’s words resonate deeply with the essence of what coaching means to me, offering a profound invitation to transcend the limitations of judgment and embrace the boundless realm of understanding and connection. It’s one of those quotes that feels like it’s pointing towards something of real impact but finding the words to describe this does not do it justice.

Reflecting on Rumi’s profound invitation to transcend judgment and embrace understanding, I’m reminded of the transformative potential inherent in coaching relationships. For me, that field is like being wrapped in a duvet of love – safe and secure, yet vast and expansive. It’s a deeply personal space, yet simultaneously expansive and boundless.

In this tranquil and peaceful environment, new thoughts and creativity seem to flow effortlessly, transforming what once appeared as insurmountable challenges into manageable situations. When coaching, this space sets the stage for deep exploration and growth, inviting clients to step beyond the constraints of judgment and into a realm of openness and acceptance.

To me, coaching is about meeting clients where they are, without judgment, and working collaboratively from that place. In recent conversations with clients, I’ve noticed a common theme: fear of judgment often holds them back, even from the very beginning of our work together.

In light of meeting clients without judgment, a cornerstone of my coaching practice is fostering an environment where clients are comfortable being honest and truthful. As a coach, I value honesty and truthfulness from my clients. When clients aren’t fully truthful, it’s usually because their perception of the world differs from mine, and they genuinely believe what they’re saying, or they fear judgment and believe it reflects negatively on them. I don’t see my clients as broken or flawed; underneath their tangled thoughts, they’re whole and capable individuals. I approach each session with an open mind, without making judgments about what they’ve yet to uncover.

Instead of viewing situations through the lens of judgment and criticism, coaches can guide their clients to explore beyond these constructs, fostering an environment of empathy, compassion, and mutual respect.

By helping clients move beyond their limiting beliefs and thought patterns, coaches empower them to access their innate capacity for resilience, creativity, and insight. This allows for transformative breakthroughs and personal growth, fostering deeper connections and relationships.

In coaching conversations, approaching with a sense of curiosity and openness, free from the constraints of right and wrong, can lead to profound insights and understanding. In this space of non-judgmental listening and exploration, clients are empowered to navigate their challenges with clarity and confidence.

Ultimately, Rumi’s quote reminds us of the transformative power of understanding and empathy, principles that I feel lie at the heart of effective coaching. In the field beyond right and wrong, we find the fertile ground for authentic connection and meaningful relationships. I invite you to heed Rumi’s invitation and venture into this field, where compassion and understanding flourish, and where the seeds of peace and harmony are sown.

Ready to experience coaching without judgment? Schedule an initial chat or drop me an email to start your journey towards growth and authenticity

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.

Authentic Leadership Styles – Being True to You 2

 in Guest Post  tagged authenticity / Dorie Clark / feedback / filter / impression / Lisa Thomson / Myers-Briggs / preferences / style / Susan Cain

In this weeks guest post business coach and HR professional Lisa Thomson shares and reflects upon a recent experience:

Authentic Leadership Styles – Being True to You

By Lisa Thomson

"Authentic Leadership Styles – Being True to You" by Lisa Thomson

“This above all: to thine own self be true.”

(Shakespeare)

This is a more of a personal reflection than many of my usual LinkedIn posts and content but is, I think, relevant in a professional context and I hope will be an interesting and stimulating point for discussion….

Recently (a couple of weeks ago) I was turned down for an opportunity I’d pursued and received feedback that I’ve been mulling over and digesting since. I always appreciate feedback, positive and negative, as constructive feedback is essential for our personal development. I try to do the same myself when recruiting – for the benefit of candidates.

I have to admit though, this one stung me a little. I was told I need stronger “gravitas and presence” to make a better first impression, and that with my current approach, for that opportunity, I’d run the risk of “being eaten alive”. Wow! As a result, I was very disappointed in myself, feeling I hadn’t represented my skills and approach to the best of my ability, and that I’d let myself down.

I’ve spent some time since though reflecting, and so share these thoughts in the hope this might be helpful and thought-provoking to others in my network too, or at least generate some discussion.

First Impressions Count…

Those of you who’ve met me in person I expect will have noticed that I am quietly spoken. I’m aware of this and have worked very hard to build my confidence and to project my voice, both throughout my earlier career and particularly during my recent participation on the Saltire Fellowship programme and studying in the States at Babson College, Boston.

I believe the only way to get better at the things you struggle with is to embrace them, and to push yourself out of your comfort zone as often as possible. For example when attending events, I always make an effort to ask questions and engage in group discussions.

I am a passionate networker, something I’ve learned to love – getting out to meet new contacts and share ideas as often as possible. I’ve had regular opportunities to develop my public speaking skills, through my role as Director for Scotland at Startup Grind, pitching at startup events & competitions, and most recently giving a talk at the launch of the Entrepreneurial Scotland Future Leaders network at Edinburgh Castle. I’m massively grateful for all of these opportunities and embrace these whenever I can.

Preferences and Styles….

My Myers-Briggs type, for those of you who are interested in psychometrics, is INFJ. A fantastic book for the introverts among us (and for the extroverts too!) is Susan Cain’s ‘Quiet’ – a great read on the often undervalued power of introverts and why those who shout the loudest are sometimes not the ones we should focus attention on…..

Having received the recent feedback mentioned above, I wondered whether I should have represented myself differently at the meeting, asserted myself more strongly, raised my voice louder or taken a more challenging approach. Perhaps. We can always improve ourselves and self and personal development is the only way.

However I also think that there is something to be said for staying true to yourself, and being authentic – and perhaps there is a point where, if we try too hard to be something we are not, we risk losing what makes us different and successful. In Boston, I attended a workshop with the inspiring Dorie Clark, author of Reinventing You: Define Your Brand, Reimagine Your Future.

One enduring take away from that for me was:

“Your reputation lasts for a long time, and needs to be treated with respect. You won’t get very far if you try to be something you’re not. Rather, your personal brand is about figuring out who you really are and what you do best, and then living that brand out. It’s the essence of authenticity.”

In practice….

In my HR work, I regularly deal with tough situations. I’ve managed change projects, restructures, downsizing and very challenging employee relations issues, and received regular feedback from managers and leaders that my support and guidance has been invaluable – a strong and calming presence, keeping everyone right and on track in tough situations. I hugely appreciate that. I’ve managed these situations in my own style and my own tone of voice.

I believe I don’t need to shout to be heard, so long as what I have to say is credible and I have the knowledge and reasoning to back it up, and that the best way to gain respect and authority is through building positive relationships and building rapport – skills I do well, and am proud of.

I’m also not afraid to stick up for myself and what I believe in. Specializing in early stage and often founder-managed high-growth businesses, I’ve worked with some very strong and challenging characters during my career and am proud to have earned their ears, support and respect.

I probably don’t come across as a domineering character. I might not thrive in a ‘dog eat dog’ environment. However I’ve been privileged so far in my career and education to work with a number of incredibly supportive previous managers, mentors and contacts, who have believed in me, listened and helped to build my confidence and it’s in that type of positive environment I excel and thrive.

Summing Up….

And so what? Am I trying to lick my wounds in the face of rejection? I hope not. In summary, I think it’s important to know yourself, your strengths, to play to those strengths and to be authentic. It’s important to listen to feedback, take it on board, but also filter it – stay true to who you are. It might not be for everyone, but what matters most is that it’s right and works for you.

As a business coach, I work with clients to help develop confidence and leadership and management skills, and I’d love to hear your feedback on my thoughts above and any personal style or feedback challenges you might have faced or be working through. Please comment below or get in touch direct ( li**@**********co.uk), as I’d be delighted to hear from you.

About Lisa Thomson

Lisa is a 2014/15 Saltire Fellow with Entrepreneurial Scotland, with a range of HR experience gained in high-growth, Scottish technology companies including Wolfson Microelectronics, Axios Systems, Sumerian Europe and Aridhia Informatics. She is also Director for Scotland of Startup Grind, a global networking community for entrepreneurs operating in more than 160 City Chapters and 65 countries worldwide. She is a qualified Executive Coach having trained with the Edinburgh Coaching Academy and currently undertaking an ILM Level 7 accreditation qualification.

purpose logoLisa has recently returned from a programme of accelerated MBA programme studies at Babson College in Boston USA and is now building Purpose, a niche HR/Management growth consultancy providing services to early stage and investor backed businesses.

Connecting with Lisa via Social Media:

On LinkedIn at https://uk.linkedin.com/in/lisaandersonhr

On Twitter: @LisaA_HR

 

Are You Walking It?

 in Guest Post  tagged authenticity / business coach / business coaching / charging / client / clients / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / congruence / executive coach / Kaizen Training / leadership / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / nlp coach / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / Richard Nugent / sports coaching

In this week’s Friday guest post successful coach Richard Nugent, who provided a fantastic guest post last year, returns for a second time. This week he shares his thoughts about congruence in coaching.

Are You Walking It?

by Richard Nugent

Ok my wonderful fellow coaches let us start with a question. Do you have a coach?

I hope the answer is a resounding YES! If not how congruent is it for you to ask your clients to fork out their hard earned cash to pay for one? In my view it is a basic requirement for a coach to have a coach. I certainly won’t employ a coach who doesn’t have one themselves.

Reflecting on this got me thinking about the broader context of congruence in coaching. Authenticity is such a key factor in leadership – actually it is the number one thing that most followers want from their leaders – it should also be considered with the same importance in coaching.

For example, while there are many, many wonderful people in the NLP world, I do struggle at the number of people that I experience at events who seem to be coaching from the world view of their own issues.

There is some similarity in the number of coaches looking to develop a business in coaching other coaches to build coaching businesses! That is great with me if you have a continuing track record of making great money and adding huge value for clients as a coach. It is less congruent if your track record is in marketing or internet business building. This suggests you can build a great coaching practice regardless of coaching skill, ability or experience – let us hope not.

I am sure that few of the readers of this wonderful site fall into either of these categories however it is a great chance for us all to check in with our congruence as a coach or as I like to call it our ‘doing-what-we-say-on-the-tin-ness’.

Here are some useful questions I have been considering.

  • To what degree are you aware of who you are creating yourself as (as a coach)?
  • To what degree are you congruent with that identity? Consider this from every angle including fees, environment, how you dress, the clients you choose/agree to work with, the results you achieve, and the beliefs and values you operate from.
  • Do you set your clients’ standards high enough?*Do you set your standards high enough?
  • To what degree do you love what you do as opposed to being in love with how you imagine it could be ‘if only’?
  • How much time do you spend in pursuit of ‘should goals’ or ‘recurring goals’? Congruence means knowing when to ‘do’ and when to let go of thinking that you should do.
  • How much time do you spend working on your business and how much do you spend working in it. All businesses need time energy and focus.

The reflection as you would expect is that I am hitting the spot in some areas and have work to do in others. What I do know, and I am proud of, is that I hold authenticity as more than an aspiration but as a key success factor for me as a coach and for my coaching business.

Indeed as I reflect on many of those that have had successful practices over a prolonged period they were absolutely congruent with the identity they operated from. Whether you like, agree or appreciate the ‘big names’ in the industry, if they were to reflect on the questions above they would undoubtedly be able to give themselves nine or ten out of ten in every one of these areas.

If you think you can do more, achieve more and earn more as a coach then consider this final question, what simple change can you make to ensure that you are more congruent in your coaching identity than ever before.

About the Author/Further Resources

Richard helps successful business leaders to move from being ‘good’ to ‘outstanding’. He challenges clients to change the way they think about work, to focus on what is most important and to stop firefighting for good.

His work is based on three key beliefs:

  • If you can think it, you can do it
  • Leaders must be prepared to go first
  • To perform at the very highest level you must have a passion for what you do

Clients’ return on investment from his energetic and ground breaking work is well into the millions of pounds, dollars and euros. His reputation as one of the UK’s leading transformational leadership coaches has been cemented by outstanding results with an impressive client list including Tesco Bank, EDF Energy, Merlin Entertainments, ASOS and Lego. He also serves as a consultant to a number of colleges, business schools and professional footballers and cricketers.

www.kaizen-training.com

You can read Richards last guest post “The Evolution of a Coach” here.