Coaching Quote of the Day 30th March 2014
“Opportunities multiply as they are seized.”
(Sun Tzu)
“Opportunities multiply as they are seized.”
(Sun Tzu)
“Gardens are not made by sitting in the shade.”
(English proverb)
“Between saying and doing many a pair of shoes is worn out.”
(Italian Proverb)
“Never mistake motion for action.”
(Ernest Hemingway)
In today’s guest post Louise Gillespie-Smith asks a question about goals:
Since becoming a life coach 7 years ago I always had a goal that I was working towards. Some I achieved, some I changed along the way and some just didn’t happen but that was ok, I learnt valuable lessons.
I was focused, I challenged myself and I achieved a lot.
Last year I tried something a bit different. I set intentions rather than specific goals. For me an intention is being the goal now, rather than putting off what I want to experience until after something has happened.
To clarify my intentions I began by setting goals, to get an idea of what I really wanted to create in my life. Then I asked myself, how will I be being once I have achieved this? A year ago it was Love, Divine Health and Abundance.
I then set off throughout the year just focusing on being that in everything I did. Rather than planning what had to happen for me to feel it.
What I discovered was that I was still in action, I was still creating but it wasn’t completely fixed. I was open to the unimaginable. There wasn’t one specific thing to achieve but I was open to exploring different ways of being what I wanted most in my life. I paid attention to my inner guidance to lead me to what was the next action to take, rather than what was planned on a milestone list.
The results; I had a relationship, I deepened my sense of love for myself and everyone in my life, I did volunteer work, I am very close to curing my asthma for good, I lost weight, I didn’t get ill all year and my business continued to evolve nicely.
Now don’t get me wrong. I still like goals and there are always specific things I’d like to achieve and using the goal technique of putting that in writing then planning what has to happen to make it a reality is powerful. I wouldn’t be where I am now if I hadn’t of done that. I am just enquiring if goals are always necessary for everything?
Since exploring this I have actually attracted a few coaching clients who have started off setting goals then once achieving them they have preferred to experiment with intention. Once their specifics were attained they have found intentions have really shifted how they are being each day, and sometimes it’s been the other way around.
I have one client for example who is focusing on being kind and being joy each day. He had started off with a specific goal around writing but it wasn’t until he started just focusing on his intentions that his creativity really started to flow.
I think there is value in having both, a goal and an intention of how you are being in the moment around achieving the goal. Especially when someone is new to personal development and goal setting.
I suggest to clients effective ways of keeping the intention in mind are post it notes around their home and reminders in their phones. It’s also great to have a few moments in stillness when you get up to repeat an affirmation of the intention and consider what you may do today to be it. You can even create your daily to do list based around it.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.
Louise Gillespie-Smith runs a business called Create Yourself which empowers and supports people in making positive change in their life. She has a holistic toolkit of resources, life coaching/NLP/ yoga/ reiki/ image consultancy, to create individually tailored packages based on what each client needs. Lo****@***************co.uk /07779 150886.
Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/CREATEYOURSELF
Twitter: https://twitter.com/LouiseatCreate
“If you’re not making mistakes, then you’re not doing anything. I’m positive that a doer makes mistakes.”
(John Wooden)
In the first guest post of this year coach Charlotta Hughes uses her experience and knowledge to focus upon:
by Charlotta Hughes
Of course there’s no surprise that people tend to start out the New Year hoping that this will be the year when those changes will really happen. They’ll lose the weight, land the perfect job, develop a great social life, find their life partner or leave the one who isn’t making them happy.
The list goes on and I’m sure you agree that for us coaches, there’s lots of opportunities to help clients change their lives for the better around this time of year. They have the motivation, will and determination to invest in themselves and their lives.
Yet, despite this surge of energy and optimism, so often people soon lose sight of their goals and ambitions. They get busy with their day to day lives, old habits kick back in and once again their comfort zone is keeping them prisoners of the same reality they’ve been experiencing, probably for quite some time.
Having a life coach can, of course, make a huge difference. However, for many it turns out not to be enough. What started out as an exciting journey for the coachee and rewarding and energising work for the coach, then turns into a disappointing and frustrating experience for both of a ‘stuck’ client.
So why does this happen, when the person seemingly really wants the changes they set out to achieve? The problem might very well lie with the goal, not with the dedication or ability of the client. In my coach mentoring I help coaches decipher whether their goal setting actually empowers the client enough to make the desired changes their new reality. Frequently I help them see how the main tool used in goal setting today isn’t enough. Namely, the acronym SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Timely).
I totally agree that the rules applied here are sound, however, SMART only deals with the goals. Not the person who’s going to achieve them. This is where RACE comes in. RACE is to the person, what SMART is to the goal. Here’s what it stands for:
Responsibility – this is about the fact that unless a client takes full responsibility for their own goals and dreams, they will never reach them. That ownership is pivotal! People tend to blame others or the circumstances they’re in for their own failings – it’s only by taking complete responsibility that they are in control of reaching their goals. Similarly, people often put their own happiness and ambitions in the hands of others. If a client’s dream or target involves someone loving them more or someone saying sorry to them, they are really setting themselves up for failure. They are in no way in control of this happening and they therefore can’t take responsibility for it or make it happen.
Action – people tend to plan, analyse, discuss and make decisions on how they’ll improve things and what they’ll achieve in their minds and with those around them. In the process of doing so, they can almost feel like they actually are moving closer to their goals. However, it’s only when they take actual action and DO something that they start moving towards them. Many little things will add up to the big stuff – get clients to focus on at least taking one small action in the right direction every day.
Commitment – if they aren’t dedicated and committed to achieving their dreams they’ll quickly lose sight of them. Ultimately, growing as people and instilling positive change in their lives will involve some degree of discomfort. After all, it has to involve them pushing themselves out of their comfort zones. To stick with it when the going gets tough (maybe when the ice cream craving sets in, when the unknown feels scary, when letting go of control is daunting, and so on …), they must be completely committed to themselves and they own goals. Wanting something isn’t enough, they must be 100% dedicated to accomplish it!
Emotional – clients must be emotionally attached to their dreams and goals. This is so pivotal for personal success as if they don’t care sufficiently about them to stick with them when distractions or challenges come along, they’ll be long gone by the time February arrives! They must be perceived as friends. This is also why it’s vital that the motivation for their goals comes from themselves in the first place – if they are developed for the benefit of someone else, such as to please their partner, boss or parent, they won’t have this important emotional connection to them. The goals may sound great in theory but they could soon feel more of an enemy than a friend, and that’s never going to work!
I hope you have lots of exciting work coming your way this month, and when it does, make sure these four ingredients are in the mix when establishing your clients’ goals, and once you, and they, are confident that they are, set them off to RACE towards their dreams!
Charlotta has been coaching professionally for over 12 years and in March 2013 she won Life Coach of the Year, awarded by the national body Association of Professional Coaches, Trainers and Consultants.
Her background is within Human Resources and she started her busy coaching practice, be me life coaching, in January 2007.
Charlotta specialises in coach mentoring, confidence, direction and entrepreneur coaching.
Her academic qualifications include professional Life and Corporate Coaching qualifications. She also has a BSc (hons) in Psychology & Computing, an MA in Human Resources Management and she is a Member of the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development.
ch*******@**************ng.com
+44 (0)7720 839773
www.facebook.com/bemelifecoaching.com
“Vision without action is a daydream.
Action without vision is a nightmare.”
(Japanese Proverb)