“Nowhere can a man find a quieter or more untroubled retreat than in his own soul.” (Marcus Aurelius)

Marcus Aurelius, the Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher, wrote these timeless words over 1,800 years ago in his Meditations. They remind us that, even amidst the challenges of leadership and life, true peace is found not in external circumstances, but within ourselves.

In today’s busy world—especially during the holiday season, when life feels even more hectic—many of us long for rest and relief from stress. But what if the retreat we need isn’t physical? What if it’s a return to the quiet within our own soul?

A Retreat from What?

When life feels overwhelming, we often think we’re retreating from external demands—work pressures, family commitments, or the endless to-do list. But so much of our stress comes not from the events themselves, but from the way we experience them in our thinking.

Have you ever noticed how, when your mind quiets down, the urgency and pressure of stressful thoughts fade away? That which once seemed critical loses its grip. It’s not the circumstances that have changed—it’s your relationship to them.

In that quieter, more settled space, we find clarity. What once felt urgent no longer carries the same weight, and peace becomes more accessible.

Helping Clients Find Their Quiet

As a coach, how do you help clients connect to the peace within themselves when life feels overwhelming?

I remember a phrase from my NLP days: “The strongest state wins.” I used to interpret this as a battle—a competition between states of mind. Now, I see it differently.

Rather than a battle, it looks more like the strongest state has a magnetic quality. When I’m grounded in my own quiet space, there’s a natural unspoken invite for my clients to settle into theirs. No effort, no forcing—just the gentle pull of stillness.

Pointing Inward

I’ve seen the counsellor/teacher/author Mavis Khan ask a beautiful question, “When did you last feel the way you’d love to feel all the time?” I love the gentle and powerful direction this points and helps clients reconnect with their inner peace.

We all have our own way of describing that feeling, even if we don’t consciously recognise it yet. That sense of being deeply settled, safe, and connected—can feel both vast and intimate. It’s limitless in potential yet feels as comforting as being wrapped in a warm duvet of love. Like the fleeting moment when you first wake from a wonderful dream, before the mind begins its chatter.

This space is always there, always accessible. But often, the noise of our thoughts drowns it out, leaving us searching outward for what is already within.

Reflection for Coaches

• What role does your grounding play in helping clients access their peace?
• What would deepening your connection to the stillness within yourself be like?

By guiding clients back to their inner quiet, you’re offering them more than stress relief. You’re helping them rediscover the profound truth of who they are—It’s a gift that, once noticed, is always there to be rediscovered—even if forgotten for a time amidst the mind’s chatter.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller is a transformative coach dedicated to empowering individuals to get out of their own way and make a meaningful impact in the world. With an impactful, nurturing coaching style, Jen supports clients in unlocking their potential and achieving their goals. As an experienced coach and trainer, she guides clients from self-doubt to success.

Discover how Jen can support you to get out of your own way and recognise your own stillness within here.