12 days of coaching resources – Day 1 2

Welcome to the first of 12 daily posts all about different coaching resources. Our first resource is:

“The Life Coaching Connection: How Coaching Changes Lives” by Steve Chandler

The last time I checked Steve Chandler had written 30 books which have been translated into 25 different languages. He also runs a year long course for coaches to empower them to get clients and build their practices to strong levels of prosperity.

It’s from this background that you’ll find this book shares the knowledge, wisdom and observation of decades of experience by coach Steve Chandler.

You’ll find that the writing style is very easy to read and conversational. The book is divided up into 51 chapters – many just a couple of pages in length making it very easy to pick up and read, even if you think you are challenged for time. It also means that the message of each chapter is concise and to the point.

Within the pages you will find many stories both of his own, that of his clients, colleagues and teachers. As you may have guessed from the title the overall theme is coaching and the impact it can have on an individual. It also contains thoughts and expertise to provoke thoughts and actions from coaches

Steve provided one of our guest posts back in July and generously offered that I could share a pdf copy of this book with Coaching Confidence readers. To get your copy email st***************@*******************co.uk


The 12 days of coaching resources

You’ve probably noticed that Christmas is approaching – In the UK there’s been festive tunes and decorations in shops and many festive adverts on the TV for weeks.

As a child one of my favourite Christmas songs was the 12 days of Christmas something I have loosely taken as a theme for daily posts in the run up to Christmas.

Starting tomorrow, each day for the next 12 days I will be posting about a different coaching resource. I intend to include resources that are in different mediums, covering a mix of topics and in a range of different prices (including some complementary resources.)

Depending upon your coaching experience and style I suspect that you will find some resources more appealing and attractive than others. As you read each post I invite you to consider which one(s) would be most useful for you. I also invite you to share your own thoughts in the comments section.

Scheduling wise, the site will also still have the daily quote of the day posts and the personal development and guest posts will be returning after Christmas.

The 12 days of coaching resources


Discover your ‘Book of Rules’…

In this week’s guest post Evolved Master Coach Morgan Tinline shares insights and explainations about how we are “wired.”

Discover your ‘Book of Rules’…

by Morgan Tinline

As an Evolved Master Coach, I work almost entirely with the unconscious mind – also called the conditioned mind. This is where clients experience lasting change that happens very quickly. I assist clients to essentially change their ‘wiring’ so that they choose to be cause and create the life they desire.

As is my foremost objective when in a coaching session, I want to offer you the opportunity to gain massive value from this post simply by enjoying it for yourself in whatever way is best for you!

So, from my perspective as an Evolved Master Coach, I want to share with you some information on how we are ‘wired’ and more importantly, how that ‘wiring’ serves us as individuals on an unconscious level. And of course, I’d love for you to gain insights into how to change that wiring almost effortlessly!

Let’s start with how we perceive and process our world…

Internal Representations:

Your internal representation will to a great extent determine your focus. You will soon learn that you get what you focus on. Your focus determines your thinking; your thinking determines your behaviour, which determines your results.

The Five senses (VAKOG) supply information from the outside world directly to the conditioned mind for processing/filtering. This information together with our Self-Talk (Ad) creates our Internal Representation.

Your unconscious mind is symbolic and it thinks and communicates using V, A, K, O, G and Ad. In order to use our minds effectively we need to use all of our Internal Representations, aligning them with what we want.

Think of all the signs that you see for caution or warning… “Don’t Slip” for example (with a picture of a man slipping). Remember that the unconscious mind doesn’t process negatives directly. The mind processes everything through VAKOG all the time. Rather state everything in the positive, FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WANT.

What feeling and images are in your mind when you think of yourself slipping on a wet floor? What kind of internal representation would that create? Our Internal Representation becomes our focus… we tend to produce the necessary behaviour to manifest that. This is the basis for effective change.

“Don’t think of a pink elephant”

Realise that you can’t think about what you don’t want to think about without thinking about it.

So all 5 senses and our self talk together, make up our Internal Representation. Now ask “What am I focusing on? Is my focus positive?” From now on this includes all 6 things we can do in our minds. Are all the systems supporting you towards successful achievement of your goal? This will make a huge difference in your life.

picture for Morgan Tinline guest post dec 11

Our mind sorts information into 7 ± 2 chunks of information. Our Internal Representation constantly combined with our Physiology creates our State. State dictates our Behaviour and we create certain Results in our lives.

Focus Filters

What are you focusing on? Is it towards what you want or towards what you don’t want? Are you focusing on what you want or are you focusing on what you don’t want?

Core Focus Filters – (Internal Acid Test)

Our core focus filters are our human needs. This model has been adopted from Anthony Robbins, who says “You don’t always get what you want, but you always get what you need.”

These needs are not wants and desires, but profound needs which service the basis of every choice we make.

You will always find a way to fulfil your core needs, either in a positive, negative or neutral way.

There are 6 basic human needs:

Certainty

This is our need for safety, security, consistency and predictability.

Variety

The opposite of certainty is our need for uncertainty, variety, the unknown, risk, challenges.

Significance

This is our need for being important, being needed, feeling worthy, unique, status

Love / Connection

Our need for connection, intimacy, love, sharing, bonding

The first 4 human needs Certainty, Variety, Significance, Love / Connection are the needs of the body/personality. People will do ANYTHING to meet these needs, one way or another.

The needs of our spirit or soul are met through Growth and Contribution…

Growth

Our need for growth, expansion, learning, becoming more… when we stop growing, we die. We need to constantly develop emotionally, physically and spiritually.

Contribution

Our need to go beyond our own needs and contributing to others, making a difference in others lives, helping, educating, coaching.

We tend to focus on two; the dominant two influence our behaviour the most.

Exercise:

1) Write down all the ways you currently get: Certainty, Variety, Significance, Love/Connection, Growth and Contribution in your life in general.

2) Answer the following questions (take your time and think about it).

a) What is it that drives you? What are your top 2 Core Focus Filters? Which two do you value the most?

b) How does this impact the quality of your life? What are the consequences (positive and negative) of valuing these needs in this order?

Process Focus Filters – (Inner Parent)

These are process driven that shape our Focus and our reality.

Meta Programs

Values

Beliefs

Memories

Decisions

Attitudes

Language

Time/Space/Matter/Energy

Key Focus Filter – (Internal Driver)

This holds the Key of your Focus. It determines what is and what isn’t important, based on all the other filters. Your mind created a question that sums up all your filters together. It filters your conscious and unconscious thinking, all the time. It is basically the question that you keep asking yourself consciously or unconsciously, no matter what you are doing. You filter all information coming in through your 5 senses all 400 Billion bps as if your life depended on it. How important do you think this question is?

And now, for the even more amazing stuff. For those of you want to discover your own unconscious ‘instruction manual’…

 

Book of Rules Exercise:

 

What is important in your life?

List the top 5 things that you value in life. What is life about for you? What are you striving for, what would you like to feel or experience in life?

 

1. ___________________________________________________________________

2. ___________________________________________________________________

3. ___________________________________________________________________

4. ___________________________________________________________________

5. ___________________________________________________________________

 

(For each of the above that you listed answer the following question)

For you to feel/experience __________ , what needs to happen, what needs to be present in order for you to feel that way or to experience that?

 

1. ___________________________________________________________________

2. ___________________________________________________________________

3. ___________________________________________________________________

4. ___________________________________________________________________

5. ___________________________________________________________________

 

In the past, what have been the feelings you would do almost anything to avoid?

List here the top 5, your biggest ‘Away From’:

 

1. ___________________________________________________________________

2. ___________________________________________________________________

3. ___________________________________________________________________

4. ___________________________________________________________________

5. ___________________________________________________________________

 

(For each of the above that you listed answer the following question)

For you to feel/experience __________ , what needs to happen, what needs to be present in order for you to feel that way or to experience that?

 

1. ___________________________________________________________________

2. ___________________________________________________________________

3. ___________________________________________________________________

4. ___________________________________________________________________

5. ___________________________________________________________________

 

Most people make it really difficult to achieve their ‘Towards Values’ and really easy to achieve their ‘Away Values’. Why not make it really easy to achieve your towards by using OR, and make it really difficult to achieve Away but using AND.

 

I trust you have enjoyed asking some of the right questions for the answers you’ve always had! You can email me with any questions/queries and feedback. Send email to mo****@***********ow.com

In conclusion, I leave you with the words of my friend and mentor…

“May you find all that you seek outside, inside of you.” – RS

About the author

blavatarMorgan Tinline is an Evolved Master Coach currently living in South Africa. He is passionate about people and assisting them in accessing their massive potential. Add to that his past personal experience and triumph over severe depression as well as overcoming Bipolar Disorder without any medical assistance or traditional therapy, and you get a coach who loves every bit of his 100% success rate.

Specialising in self-sabotage, Morgan is currently building a platform through which even more people can choose to have instant and lasting change and live the life they desire.

Stay informed of what is happening as well as upcoming visits to various countries around the world in 2012 and beyond. Go to www.epiclivingnow.com, follow him on twitter @EpicLivingNow, and like his page on facebook – Epic Living