Coaching Confidence

The Power of Persuasion in Coaching: Guiding Clients to Self-Discovery

A parcment colour background has an ornate border with a leaf style flourish in each corner. In the centre is the quote "Persuasion is often more effectual than force." (The Wind and the Sun, Aesop)

Today’s quote is:

“Persuasion is often more effectual than force.” (The Wind and the Sun, Aesop)

With regards to coaching this prompted a few thoughts from me. It beckons us to reflect on the gentle yet compelling force of persuasion in guiding our clients toward self-discovery and unlocking their true potential.

The Initial Dance:

At the onset of a coaching journey, there exists a delicate dance between coach and client—a period of mutual exploration and understanding. It is not uncommon for my clients to attempt to persuade me of their perceived character flaws or fundamental brokenness as a reason that gets in their way.

Creating a Trustful Space:

I feel that a foundation of effective coaching lies in creating a space of trust where clients feel secure in sharing their deepest thoughts and fears. Listening attentively, understanding their unique struggles, and gently guiding them towards self-discovery are essential aspects of the persuasion process. In this safe space, clients can confront their challenges head-on and recognize the dormant strengths within them.

Truthful Non-Judgemental Refelection and Progress:

I suspect if I’d written this piece several years ago at this point in the post I’d have written something about what to do, listing various potential techniques and exercises. My coaching and style has evolved over time and my answer now is more around looking behind what any exercise etc is designed to do and pointing towards the clients own gentle inate wisdom allowing truthful non-judgemental reflection and progress.

Handling Client Self-Criticism:

Clients being hard on themselves is a common theme in my coaching. Instead of applying forceful directives or attempting to impose change, I think that the art of persuasion involves delicately challenging their negative self-perceptions. Inviting clients to look afresh, highlighting positive aspects, and gently guiding them towards a more constructive perspective empowers them to navigate their inner landscape with ease.

Common Client Persuasions:

It’s interesting to note the various ways clients attempt to convince coaches of their perceived limitations. Whether it’s expressing a lack of potential, what they describe as deep-seated insecurities, or fears of inadequacy, recognising these I think allows coaches to tailor their persuasive techniques accordingly.

Conclusion:

As coaches, our role extends beyond providing solutions; it encompasses the art of persuasion, gently guiding clients toward self-discovery and personal growth. In the realm of coaching, Aesop’s timeless wisdom reminds us that the power of persuasion can be more transformative than force. What’s your experience and thoughts? Feel free to comment below.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.

Navigating the Credulity Conundrum: A Coach’s Perspective

An image of rich green countryside looking out across a valley, with the sun rising from below the horrizon on the other side of the valley into a blue sky with a few whispy clouds reflecting the reds from the sunrise.
The text reads "A little credulity helps one one through llife very smoothly." (Elizabeth Gaskell)

Today’s quote of the day is:

“A little credulity helps one one through llife very smoothly.” (Elizabeth Gaskell)

Credulity, the readiness to believe without concrete evidence, is a nuanced concept that sparks reflection on the balance between unquestioning acceptance and critical thinking. This quote prompted me to ponder if there is merit in embracing a little credulity, and how does it intersect with our roles as coaches?

The Power of a “Little” Credulity:

The key word in the quote, as highlighted, is “little.” It suggests that a moderate amount of credulity can smooth the journey of life. There are instances when questioning everything may lead to unnecessary disruptions, reminiscent of a small child endlessly asking “why.” However, I’m sure all coaches have seen the impact that a well timed question can have, that powerful catalyst for profound shifts in perception.

Finding the Balance:

The delicate balance lies in acknowledging the “little” credulity that aids in navigating life smoothly while recognizing the transformative potential of questioning thoughts, beliefs and how we see life in general. As coaches, we must strike this balance within ourselves and guide our clients through their own exploration. Here’s a few thoughts that accord to me around this:

Selective Application: Recognize situations where a little credulity can be beneficial, such as in building trust. When working with a client, it really helps if they feel they can be honest and that is fostered by them feeling psychologically safe for example to look at something they find scary. Letting them lead the pace can help wth that which means there will be times when
Encouraging Curiosity: Foster a sense of curiosity, both in yourself and your clients. Encouraging questions and exploration is essential for growth, while still maintaining a level of trust in the process.Being aware not only of when credulity is at play but also that its a possibility allows us to make conscious decisions about when to trust and when to question
Wisdom of Pause: Introduce the wisdom of pause in coaching conversations. Sometimes, taking a moment to reflect before diving into questioning can create a space for insight and allow for a more constructive exploration.

Navigating Clients’ Credulity:

As coaches, we often encounter clients whose credulity might be holding them back. :

Gentle Questioning: Introduce questions that prompt clients to reflect on their beliefs and thinking. This gentle approach encourages a client to look at this without creating resistance..
Exploration of Perspectives: Through this exploration and a willingness to take a fresh look, they may discover new insights and potential shifts in their understanding.
Connection with their own inner wisdom/creativity: Sometimes all it takes is a little nudge towards that space where ideas seem to effortless appear from for a client to get an insight that disolves what was holding them back and make it obvious about a next step.

Conclusion:

This quote I think invites us to dance with the paradox of acceptance and inquiry. By finding the delicate balance between the “little” credulity that smooths life’s journey and the transformative power of questioning, we can foster growth within ourselves and guide our clients toward profound insights and positive change. Share your thoughts on this fascinating interplay – what else would you add to the lists I started above? What did this quote prompt for you?

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

From Talk to Action: Navigating the Coaching Landscape with Purpose

Today’s quote of the day is a proverb:

“Between saying and doing many a pair of shoes is worn out.” (Italian proverb)

In the world of coaching, we can frequently encounter individuals who find themselves caught in a cycle of talking about change without making any tangible progress. Today’s quote of the day perfectly encapsulates this dilemma: “Between saying and doing many a pair of shoes is worn out.” This Italian proverb serves as a poignant reminder that mere words can lead to a lot of talk without meaningful action. As coaches, it is our responsibility to guide our clients—and ourselves—towards overcoming this hurdle and fostering a culture of decisive actions.

So here are some coaching related thoughts prompted by todays proverb:

Unveiling Authentic Desires:

Identifying True Wants: As coaches, our first task is to discern whether the goals being discussed align with the individual’s authentic desires. Distinguishing between societal expectations and genuine aspirations is crucial for cultivating meaningful change.

Exploring Heartfelt Motivations: Encourage clients to explore their heartfelt motivations. Understanding the emotional connection to their goals provides a solid foundation for sustained commitment and determination, driving actions that align with their true selves.

Addressing Obstacles to Action:

Unraveling Perceived Barriers: Explore the barriers that hinder clients from taking tangible steps. By uncovering these perceived obstacles, coaches can offer targeted interventions, addressing the root causes of inaction and fostering a path towards progress.

Overcoming Inertia: Introduce the concept of inertia as a common hurdle. Commencing action, even with small steps, can break the cycle of stagnation. Emphasize the transformative power of momentum and how progress becomes easier with consistent movement.

Embracing the Overwhelm: For some, overwhelming challenges can be met with a flood of purposeful actions. Explore this approach, encouraging clients to immerse themselves in meaningful activities to counteract analysis paralysis and catalyze change.

Focusing on Immediate Steps:

Identifying the Next Action: Shift the focus from grand goals to the immediate next step. By identifying and completing this step, clients gain a sense of accomplishment, making subsequent actions clearer and more manageable.

Trusting the Process: Encourage a spontaneous approach, allowing subsequent actions to unfold naturally. Trusting the process and adapting as needed allows clients to respond authentically to the evolving dynamics of their journey.

The Role of Uncertainty:

Comfort in Not Knowing: Acknowledging the uncertainty in coaching conversations is essential. Get comfortable with not knowing the exact plan until the moment arises. Every client is unique, and their insights may lead to unexpected revelations that guide the coaching direction.

Foundermentally: Listening and Clarity: At its core, coaching revolves around listening and gaining clarity. Emphasize the importance of being present in the coaching conversation, understanding the client’s perspective, and allowing the direction to unfold organically.

Embracing the “When”: I encourage coaches to embrace not knowing the “when” until it naturally emerges in the conversation. Resisting the urge to pre-plan responses fosters a more authentic and pleasant coaching experience.

What did the proverb prompt for you with your coaching style and approach?

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

The Power of Understanding: Exploring the ‘Why’ in Coaching

A watercoloured ombre effect background with more of a red/pink tone at the edge going through orange to yellow in the centre. In the orange and red/pink tones there are flecks of white.
In the forefront of the image to the right there are 5 books stood on there end, leaning at an angle against an unseen object, out of sight of the right of this image.
The text in the centre reads: "Knowledge of the fact differs from knowledge of the reason for the fact." (Aristotle)

Todays quote is:

“Knowledge of the fact differs from knowledge of the reason for the fact,” (Aristotle)

This quote prompted me to consider the role of understanding in coaching. In the realm of coaching, we often wield effective strategies, techniques, and methods to guide our clients. However, how crucial is it for coaches to comprehend the ‘why’ behind their approach? In this blog post, I briefly cover my thoughts as I contemplated the impact of understanding on coaching effectiveness.

The Importance of Understanding:

As coaches, the question arises: How important is it for us to understand the ‘why’ behind our coaching approaches? This pondering will also probably leads us to examine our own coaching philosophies and methodologies. While some coaching schools discourage the use of ‘why’ in a coaching session. let’s momentarily set aside those constraints and explore the potential impact of a deeper understanding when looking at the topic of coaching.

One of the things that often can jump out to me as a client talks is what’s suggested as the foundations behind what is being said – if there is an innocent misunderstanding being suggested underpinning what looks like a fact to them? If so that will give me a clue of what direction to go in next.

Flexibility in Coaching:

In my personal experience, an understanding of the principles underlying my coaching approach enhances flexibility when working with clients. It allows for a more dynamic adaptation of approaches to suit individual needs. The ‘why’ becomes a guiding light, enabling me to navigate through diverse client scenarios with more agility and precision.

For me personally, its also one of the reasons why I have continued to explore this understanding. I happen to believe that as a coach my style and approach have evolved naturally – its seldom been about having a major goal I’ve decided upon when its come to that, its what has naturally unfolded as I’ve seen and learnt more.

Impact on Coaching Effectiveness:

How about you, fellow coaches? In your experience, does having a greater understanding around the coaching approach enhance its effectiveness? Does a deep comprehension of the ‘why’ make your coaching more impactful when working with clients? Alternatively, have you found success in simply implementing strategies without delving into the intricacies of their underlying principles?

Personal Perspectives:

For some, knowing the ‘why’ may be a cornerstone of their coaching practice, providing a solid foundation for client interactions. For others, the focus might be on the tangible implementation of proven methods, with less emphasis on the underlying theories. I’m sure there’s also some who fall in the middle of those two perspectives!

Aristotle’s words invite us to contemplate the interplay between knowledge of facts and understanding the reasons behind them in the context of coaching. As coaches, we navigate a dynamic landscape where the ‘why’ can add depth and flexibility to our practice. Whether you find empowerment in understanding the ‘why’ or thrive in the realm of simply practical application, the essence of effective coaching lies in the positive impact we create for our clients.

Share your thoughts and experiences below. How does your understanding of the ‘why’ impact your coaching journey? Let’s continue the conversation on the ever-evolving path of coaching effectiveness.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

Coaching Insights from Archimedes: Empowering Change through Leverage

The background of this has a white space in an approximate broad diagnol dash from the top right corner occupying around a third of the image.. Around the three sides of the dash that are not in the top right corner is a pink swirl of watercolour paint that merges into purple on the left of the image. There is an imprint withing the purple leaving a white void that is remreminiscence of laurel leaves which were worn as a symbol of victory in Ancient Greece.
The text across the white space reads: "Give me a place to stand and with a lever I will move the whole world." (Archimedes of Syracuse)

Today’s quote is:

“Give me a place to stand and with a lever I will move the whole world.” (Archimedes of Syracuse)

These timeless words from Archimedes of Syracuse, although rooted in physics, I feel also carry profound implications for the realm of coaching. In the context of coaching, we serve as the architects of that “place to stand,” empowering individuals to discover their unique levers for transformative change. This post explores the parallels between Archimedes’ concept and the coaching journey, inviting you to reflect on your own “place to stand” and the levers that can move your world.

Coaching as the “Place to Stand”:

One aspect of coaching, at its essence, is about providing individuals with a solid foundation – a place to stand. It’s the ground from which dreams, ambitions, and goals can be launched into reality. I suspect that what we think that place to stand is and how we describe it could vary depending upon your coaching approach. However, I also think that most coaches would agree that we offer support, guidance, and a safe space for exploration, creating the stable ground on which clients can build their visions for a better future.

Discovering the Personal Lever for Insights:

Archimedes’ quote also speaks to the identification of a lever, a strategic point of influence that, when activated, can generate significant movement. In coaching, this lever represents the unique strengths, talents, and capabilities of an individual. It’s the realisation that, by tapping into these inherent qualities, one can enact powerful and positive change in various aspects of life.

From a coaches perspective I think it can also apply to that question that makes a difference for that client, or a loose thread from something a client is telling you about that when you pull on it brings fresh insight.

The Privilege of Coaching:

As coaches, we are privileged witnesses to the transformative journeys of our clients. Guiding them as they discover their “place to stand” and personal levers is a profound experience. We watch individuals grow, evolve, and ultimately move their world in ways they might not have thought possible. It’s a privilege to be part of their empowering process.

Reflecting on Your “Place to Stand”:

Today, I invite you to consider your own life and coaching practice. What is that one thing in your life where if you alter where you “stand,” you would get more movement? Reflect on the stable ground you’ve created for yourself and where you can leverage your unique strengths for greater impact.

As you embark on this reflective journey, remember the wisdom of Archimedes. For me. coaching is not just about imparting knowledge; it’s about facilitating self-discovery, providing a solid foundation, and identifying personal levers for change.

Taking this quote as a metaphore I think the wisdom echoes through the centuries, finding resonance in the coaching landscape. As coaches, we stand alongside individuals, offering them a place to stand and guiding them to discover the levers that can move their worlds. On this Sunday, may your reflections lead you to newfound insights and empower positive change in your life.

Happy Sunday and happy coaching!

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

Unleashing Infinite Potential: Coaching Insights from Thomas Aquinas

The image appears to be at night set in an outsie setting. In the middle of the image is a human stood on a hill, with their back to the viewer, looking up into the sky. In the sky are stars and planets - these are much larger than would be visible to the naked eye in reality.
The text below reads: "The greatness of the human being consists in this: that it is capable of the universe." (Thomas Aquinas)

Today’s quote is:

“The greatness of the human being consists in this: that it is capable of the universe.” (Thomas Aquinas)

The Infinite Potential Within:

Thomas Aquinas invites us to recognize the infinite potential within ourselves. Each individual is a universe of possibilities, with untapped capabilities waiting to be discovered and harnessed. You coould argue that this idea goes beyond traditional notions of limits and boundaries, urging us to explore the depths of our potential.

Experiencing the Universe through Thought:

The quote also alludes to the unique capacity humans possess to experience the universe through thought. Our thoughts shape our perceptions, emotions, and actions. While we live in a physical world with tangible experiences, our ability to navigate and interpret these experiences is profoundly influenced by the thoughts that pass through our minds.

Coaching and Tapping into Universal Capability:

As a coach, I see that one aspect of my role is to help clients tap into their universal capability. This involves guiding them to realise that their potential is as vast and expansive as the universe itself.

My approach to this has changed and evolved over time, just like the way I talk about this topic has altered and will no doubt to continue to expand over time. Here are some approaches I use and have used to inspire and support clients in this realisation:

Awareness Encouraging clients to an awareness allows them to observe their thoughts without judgment. This process opens the door to understanding the impact of thoughts on emotions and behaviors.
Exploration of Limiting Beliefs: Identifying and challenging limiting beliefs. By questioning assumptions and beliefs that may be constraining, clients can broaden their perspective and recognize the vastness of their capabilities.
Goal Setting and identifying what a client really wants: Guiding clients through goal-setting and visioning exercises helps them articulate and envision their aspirations. Digging deep enough to allow and identify true desire allows them to connect with the expansive possibilities that align with their authentic selves.
Acknowledging Resilience and Strength: Celebrating clients’ resilience and strengths reinforces their ability to navigate life’s challenges. Recognizing past achievements builds confidence and expands the perception of what is possible.

What else would you add to this list?

Conclusion:

For me, the journey of coaching involves unveiling the greatness within each individual, acknowledging the vast capabilities they possess. There’s an element of working from a space where clients recognise their potential as vast and limitless, mirroring the universe itself.

How do you, as a coach, incorporate the concept of universal capability into your coaching methods? What insights does this quote inspire for you? Share your thoughts and experiences below.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

Nurturing Souls: The Impact of Kindness and Silence in Coaching

Two silhutes of children stood hand in hand next to each other in a gap between some trees looking out into the distance into what looks like the red light at sun rise or sunset.
The text above reads: "We mean to explore kindness and its enormous silences." (Guillaume Apollinaire)

Today’s quote is:

“We mean to explore kindness and its enormous silences.” (Guillaume Apollinaire)

I think this quote points to a couple of aspects that fall into the profound realms of coaching, where kindness and silence are not merely elements but guiding principles. In the coaching journey, kindness extends beyond niceties, and silence is not an absence but allows powerful presence to be noticed and wisdom accessed.

Kindness Beyond Surface Gestures:

Kindness in coaching transcends the superficial realm of politeness. It’s a dynamic force encompassing understanding, respect, and empathy. For many coaches, our role extends beyond guiding clients through their challenges; it involves creating a safe space where stories, fears, and aspirations can unfold without judgment. Kindness becomes part of the fabric that weaves the connection between coach and client, fostering an environment conducive to vulnerability and growth.

The Power of Silence:

Silence, often misunderstood as an absence, holds immense power in coaching. It is not a void but a canvas where unspoken thoughts and emotions find expression. Silence and quiet are also often descriptions used when people try to put words to describing that space of creativity, wisdom and inner guidance – where answers can bubble up seemingly from no where.

True listening goes beyond words, allowing for the exploration of what lies beneath the surface. The art of silence in coaching involves being present and attentive, providing clients with the space to reflect, process, and articulate their thoughts at their own pace.

Discussing Kindness and Silence with Clients:

For me, every coaching conversation is a unique journey, incorporating discussions about kindness and silence can be transformative and part of that path. The way I address kindness often involves encouraging clients to be gentle with themselves, fostering self-compassion in the face of challenges or seeing the innocence in a missunderstanding or belief. Discussing silence includes acknowledging its importance in the coaching process and assuring clients that it’s a space where insights can naturally emerge – so it’s OK to take a moment and not feel the need to fill the space with any words.

In my coaching practice, the interplay of kindness and silence is inherent in each session. I often encourage clients to embrace self-kindness, emphasizing that growth is a journey and not a destination. Silence, for me, is not an awkward pause but an opportunity for clients to dig deep within themselves. I reassure them that it’s perfectly okay to take the time needed for thoughts and answers to surface.

How does it fit in with your coaching? Is it something you consider? Maybe it’s not something you consider using a label such as kindness but do you recongise what I’m attempting to describe?

Impact on Coaching Approach:

The infusion of kindness and silence profoundly impacts my coaching approach. Kindness becomes the foundation upon which trust is built, and silence becomes the canvas where meaningful insights unfold. This approach fosters a collaborative journey of self-discovery and transformation. It’s about “hanging out” in that space where the human spirit is nurtured, and the profound magic of self-discovery unfolds.

How does kindness and silence shape your coaching approach? Share your thoughts and experiences below.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

Unveiling the Cosmic Power Within: Coaches and the “Eyes of the Mind”

A si;hute image of an individual crouched down looking up at the nights sky next to a telescope on a tripode. The shy is rich colours of black, reds, blues and white. In the centre of the sky is an eye, with a iris with different shades of blue like the northern lights and a black pupil with white stars shining out.
The text below reads: "On certain occasions, the eyes of the mind can supply the want of the most powerful telescopes, and lead to astronomical discoveries of the highest importance." (François Arago)

Today’s quote is:

“On certain occasions, the eyes of the mind can supply the want of the most powerful telescopes, and lead to astronomical discoveries of the highest importance.” (François Arago)

This powerful statement serves as a testament to the incredible capacity of our minds to envision possibilities beyond the constraints of external resources. As coaches, we are the navigators guiding our clients to tap into the innate creativity and insight within them, unlocking breakthroughs that might seem beyond reach.

The Magic Within:

In both personal and professional spheres, I suspect as coaches we often find ourselves helping clients harness the power of their “mind’s eye” or their internal creativity. It’s akin to unlocking a magical realm where limitations fade away, and possibilities become boundless. This process of tapping into one’s inner resources can lead to revelations and breakthroughs that might have seemed improbable or unattainable.

My guess is that depending upon your approach to coaching that the way that you introduce this and the way you guide your client could be very different.

Inspiring the Utilisation of the “Eyes of the Mind”:

The question arises: How do we, as coaches, inspire those around us to utilize their “eyes of the mind”? What strategies, techniques, or approaches do we employ to unlock the creative potential within our clients? Here are some perspectives that different coaches and methodolgies may employ:

Visualization Techniques:
Encourage clients to engage in visualization exercises. By vividly picturing their goals, challenges, or desired outcomes, they can activate their creative faculties and gain new insights.

Mindfulness Practices:
Introduce mindfulness practices to help clients quiet the noise of external distractions. In these moments of stillness, the mind can often reveal profound insights and creative solutions.

Open-Ended Questions:
Pose open-ended questions that stimulate deep thinking and imaginative exploration. These questions can act as catalysts, prompting clients to look beyond the surface and into the realms of possibility.

Creative Assignments:
Assign creative tasks or homework that encourage clients to express themselves through various mediums—writing, drawing, or even role-playing. These activities can tap into uncharted territories of the mind.

Metaphors and Analogies:
Use metaphors and analogies to illustrate concepts. Metaphors have a unique ability to transcend literal understanding, allowing clients to connect with ideas on a deeper, more intuitive level.

Sharing Your Insights:

I take a pragmatic approach of – does it work? If you’re making a positive difference with the work that you do with your clients then that should be applauded. I personally also take the approach that coaching is an art and a science and that I’m always on the look out to ensure that I’m producing the best piece of art that I can based upon the science of my understanding at that time.

Most of the time I work with clients in a longer term rather than a one off session specifically looking at one isolated situation. Which means at this moment in time I’m very likley to spend time on the “big picture” of what is that creativity/ inner wisdom etc so that a client can access that in the future for other instances rather than it seeming to be some magic trick I pulled off that allowed them to be creative in one specific situation.

How do you inspire the utilisation of the “eyes of the mind” in your coaching practice? What approach have proven effective for you? I invite you to share your thoughts and perspectives below.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.