Coaching Confidence

Random Acts of Kindness: A Reflection for Coaches

This is an illustration of a large healthy green tree. In the centre of the big trunk is a glowing light. The tree has many roots shooting downn into the ground and spreading out. There are many other trees around. The text reads "The single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make fresh trees." (Frederick William Faber.

Today marks Random Acts of Kindness Day, a perfect opportunity to reflect on the profound impact of kindness in our lives and those around us. As we “celebrate” this day, here’s today’s quote:

“The single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make fresh trees.” (Frederick William Fabe)

This quote beautifully captures the essence of kindness – its ability to spread far and wide, touching lives in ways we may never fully comprehend. It reminds us that even the smallest act of kindness can create a ripple effect, planting seeds of positivity and hope wherever it goes.

For me, this quote serves as an invitation to pause and reflect on the power of a single act of kindness. It prompts us to consider how we can incorporate kindness not only into our personal lives but also within our professional circles and, perhaps most importantly, towards ourselves.

So, I invite you to ponder the following questions:

1️⃣ In your business: What random act of kindness could you extend to your clients, colleagues, or partners? It could be as simple as sending a thoughtful note of appreciation or offering a helping hand to someone in need.

2️⃣ For those around you: How can you brighten someone else’s day with a random act of kindness? Whether it’s a friendly smile, a listening ear, or a small gesture of support, your kindness has the power to uplift and inspire those around you.

3️⃣ For yourself: In the midst of your busy schedule and responsibilities, how can you show yourself kindness and compassion? It could be carving out time for self-care, practicing gratitude, or simply acknowledging and celebrating your own accomplishments and strengths.

Take a moment to notice what arises as you reflect on these questions. Perhaps you’ll uncover a new opportunity to spread kindness or discover a deeper appreciation for the kindness already present in your life.

While the invitation is simply to reflect, if you feel called to take action on any of your answers, I encourage you to do so. Let us seize this day as an opportunity to sow seeds of kindness and compassion, knowing that even the smallest gesture can make a world of difference.

Have a wonderful Random Acts of Kindness Day, and please feel free to share your reflections in the comments below.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.

Navigating Challenges in Coaching and embracing imperfection

This image is just a bold black quote in text on a white background. The text reads: "There is always a 'but' in this imperfect world." Below in smaller none-bold capital letters is the person's name who said the quote: (Anne Bronte)

Today’s quote is:

“There is always a ‘but’ in this imperfect world.” (Anne Bronte)

Coaching, to me, is about guiding someone towards their true self. This quote resonates with me because it applies to coaching as well. There will always be hurdles to overcome, challenges to face, and uncertainties to navigate. But it’s how we deal with these ‘buts’ that truly define us.

I don’t get disgruntled if a client has a “but” response to a question or story. To me, it’s just an indication of how the world looks to them. It often reveals what’s getting in their way. I prefer honest, real answers rather than what a client thinks they “should” say or what I want to hear. That’s where we can actually move forward.

Each ‘but’ presents a chance to delve deeper, explore new perspectives, and discover untapped potential. It’s through facing these challenges that we inspire, motivate, and empower those we coach. In my previous role as a corporate trainer, we often looked at objection handling as something to be overcome. Now, it’s more of a discussion between two willing participants about what the situation looks like to them.

What stands out in this quote is the acknowledgment of life’s inherent imperfections and the recognition that they are an integral part of the coaching process. It reminds us that perfection is not the goal; rather, it’s the continuous pursuit of growth and development that defines our success as coaches. In fact, an expectation of perfection can often keep someone stuck from taking any action whatsoever. That doesn’t mean that we can’t strive to improve our skills, but we can relieve any pressure from expecting everything to be perfect every time.

So, let’s embrace the imperfections, the ‘buts’ of coaching, and use them as fuel to propel ourselves and our clients forward. Let’s embrace the challenges, knowing that they are the stepping stones to greatness. Together, let’s navigate this imperfect world with courage, compassion, and unwavering determination.

What resonates with you in this quote? How do you approach the ‘buts’ in your coaching practice? Share your thoughts and insights in the comments below.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

Embracing Rest: The Importance of Downtime for Coaches

A empty green bench is in the bottom left corner surrounded by green grass and a couple of trees on the edge in the foreground. In the distance is a stretch of blue water with a distant tree line on the far bank. The sky is blue with fluffy white clouds.
The text reads: "Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under the trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the blue sky, is by no means waste of time" (Sir John Lubbock)

Today’s quote is:

“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under the trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the blue sky, is by no means waste of time” (Sir John Lubbock)

As coaches, we’re accustomed to giving our all to support others in their personal and professional growth. We’re often passionate about our work and dedicated to helping our clients achieve their goals. But in our quest to empower others, we mustn’t overlook the importance of caring for and listening to ourselves.

Rest isn’t just a luxury; it’s a necessity for our well-being and effectiveness as coaches. Here are a few reasons why embracing rest is essential:

Renewed Energy: Just as our clients need breaks to recharge and refocus, so do we. Taking time to rest allows us to replenish our energy reserves and approach our coaching sessions with renewed vigour and enthusiasm.
Enhanced Creativity: Rest provides space for our minds to wander and explore new ideas. When we give ourselves permission to step away from our work, we create opportunities for inspiration and innovation to flourish.
Improved Focus: Constant busyness can lead to burnout and diminished cognitive function. By prioritising rest, we can sharpen our focus and attention, enabling us to be more present and engaged in our coaching sessions.
Stress Reduction: Many find the demands of coaching and running a business can be taxing, both mentally and emotionally. Incorporating regular periods of rest into our routine can help alleviate stress and promote a sense of calm and relaxation.

So, how can we embrace rest in our busy lives as coaches?

Schedule Downtime: Treat rest like any other important appointment in your calendar. Block off time for relaxation and leisure activities, whether it’s a leisurely walk in nature, reading a book, or simply enjoying a quiet moment of reflection.
Set Boundaries: Learn to say no to activities or commitments that drain your energy and leave you feeling overwhelmed. Prioritise self-care and honour your need for rest, even if it means disappointing others temporarily. I often find setting expectations at the start of working with someone helps – For example I ensure that clients know I reply to emails within 48 hours – usually much faster but there will be times when I’m not reachable every moment of the day. It may be that you are happy to be “on call” 24/7, it’s just not something that works with my other commitments – and its easier to be transparent about that up-front. Any client that is looking for that level of support and its a deal breaker then I’m not the coach for them – I feel its better for us both to find that out quickly.
Listen to yourself: We spend a lot of time in coach trainings looking at listening to others – how much do you actually listen to yourself? What do you want to do right now? What do you know to do?
Seek Support: Don’t be afraid to reach out for support when you need it. Whether it’s leaning on friends, family, or fellow coaches, having a strong support network can help you navigate the challenges of coaching while prioritizing your well-being. You don’t have to do everything on your own!

In conclusion, rest is not a luxury reserved for the idle; it’s an essential component of a healthy and balanced life. As coaches, it’s important to honor our need for rest and relaxation, recognizing that it’s not only beneficial for our own well-being but also essential for our effectiveness in supporting others. So, let’s embrace rest as a valuable tool for self-care and recharge our batteries so we can continue to make a positive impact in the lives of our clients.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

Invitation to share

The background is like an explosion of paint has happened with lots of different bright colours blending into each other. An image of a lightbulb is ontop of that with the outline looking like it is done in charcoal.
The text over the top reads "Invitation to share"

What have you created this week that you’d love to share with an audience of coaches? Perhaps it’s a blog post, or maybe it’s an Instagram Reel you think will resonate with other coaches. You’re welcome to pop the links in the replies below. If there’s enough interest, I’ll also compile all the links into a post roundup in a new post, alongside any that have also been shared on the invite on the blogs Facebook page

Let’s support each other’s creative efforts and learn from one another. This is an invitation to proudly share your work, ideas, or inspirations below. Who knows, your creation might also be the spark that ignites the fire in another coach. Looking forward to seeing your creations!

Love: The Heart of Coaching

This is painted in a watercolour dreamlike landscape style. The bottom third of the image is taken up with a stretch of purple landmass, reminding of fields of lavender. a yellow curving path starts about half way across and sweeps to the centre of the horrizom where two gently curving blue slopes meat. A yellow glow radiates from this point and the sky spreads out from there, first into pinks and then into a darker purple. In the top right corner is a round moon which also is picking up some of the the yellow radiating from that sun rise/set.
A large white heart is in the bottom left of the image. The text reads: "Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us. Oh, be swift to love, make haste to be kind!" (Henri-Frédéric Amiel)

Today’s quote is:

“Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us. Oh, be swift to love, make haste to be kind!” (Henri-Frédéric Amiel)

In the realm of coaching, amidst the goals, strategies, and growth, it’s easy to overlook the profound impact of love. Yet, Henri-Frédéric Amiel’s timeless words remind us of the essence of our role: “Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us. Oh, be swift to love, make haste to be kind!”

Love, in the context of coaching, extends far beyond romantic notions. It embodies a deep, unconditional compassion for our clients and a genuine desire for their well-being and success. In that context love fuels our commitment to walk alongside them on their journey, offering unwavering support and encouragement.

But what does it mean to embrace love as coaches?

Authentic Connection: Love begins with authentic connection. Building a genuine rapport with our clients fosters trust and creates a safe space for vulnerability and growth. It involves truly seeing and valuing them as individuals, beyond their goals or achievements.
Empathy and Understanding: Love is empathizing with our clients’ struggles and challenges. It’s about stepping into their shoes, understanding their experiences, and validating their emotions without judgment. Empathy cultivates a deeper connection and allows us to offer more meaningful support.
Unconditional Positive Regard: Love is offering unconditional positive regard. It means accepting our clients wholeheartedly, percieved flaws and all, and believing in their inherent worth and potential for growth. It involves celebrating their strengths and successes while compassionately guiding them through setbacks.
Compassionate Accountability: Love is holding our clients accountable with compassion. It’s about challenging them to stretch beyond what they think are their comfort zones. Compassionate accountability balances high expectations with unwavering support, empowering clients to reach their fullest potential.

Beyond our coaching practice, how can we embody love in our lives?

Cultivating Self-Love: Love begins within ourselves. Taking some time to listen to ourselves, and practicing self-compassion are essential for our well-being and resilience as coaches.
Nurturing Relationships: Love extends to our relationships with family, friends, and community. Investing time and energy into nurturing these connections enriches our lives and strengthens our capacity for empathy and understanding.
Spreading Kindness: Love is contagious. Engaging in acts of kindness and generosity towards others uplifts spirits and fosters a sense of unity and connection within our communities.
Embracing Gratitude: Love is appreciating the beauty and abundance in our lives. Cultivating a practice of gratitude cultivates a positive mindset and deepens our appreciation for the richness of life.

In conclusion, for me. love lies at the heart of coaching, guiding our interactions, decisions, and intentions. What did the quote prompt for you? What else would you add to the lists I started? You’re welcome to add your own thoughts in the comments below.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

Understanding Why Clients Struggle to Quit a Project

3D letters made in a light coloured natural wood spells out the word QUIT on a black background. The text reads "Of all the stratagems, to know when to quit is the best." (Chinese proverb)

Today’s quote is actually a proverb:

“Of all the stratagems to know when to quit is the best.” (Chinese proverb)

This may seem like common sense at times, but I’m sure we’ve all been in situations where, with the benefit of hindsight, we missed the signs of quitting something at an earlier stage. I suspect that you’ve seen clients continue with something long after it seemed obvious to you, with your external perspective, that they just weren’t seeing quitting as an option.

So, what are some of the reasons why someone may not “quit”?

Thinking quitting will mean something about their own worth/identity: It’s not uncommon for someone to have deeply held beliefs around what quitting will mean about their identity. They may be living by a huge set of unconscious rules of how they should behave, and quitting something just isn’t in line with those restrictions.

Fear of Failure: One of the primary reasons clients hesitate to quit is the fear of failure. They may worry about what others will think or feel a sense of shame or inadequacy. As coaches, it’s essential to create a safe and non-judgmental space where clients can explore these fears openly.

Attachment to Comfort Zone: Clients may resist quitting because they’re accustomed to the familiarity and predictability of their current situation, even if it’s not serving them. As coaches, we can gently challenge our clients to expand their comfort zone and explore new possibilities.

External Expectations: Clients may feel pressure to persist in their endeavors due to external expectations from family, friends, or society. They may fear disappointing others or feel obligated to fulfill certain roles or responsibilities. As coaches, it’s important to help clients distinguish between their own desires and the expectations imposed upon them by others. By encouraging them to align their actions with their authentic values and aspirations, we can empower them to make choices that honor their true selves.

Sunk Cost Fallacy: The sunk cost fallacy refers to the tendency to continue investing in a failing endeavor because of the resources already committed, even when it’s clear that the investment is unlikely to pay off. Clients may resist quitting because they’re reluctant to admit that their efforts have been in vain. As coaches, we can help clients recognize the fallacy of this thinking and encourage them to focus on the future rather than dwelling on past investments. You will no doubt have your own approach to this; personally, I favor helping a client see their own worth is not connected with whatever the endeavor is.

Perceived Lack of Alternatives: Clients may believe that quitting is the only option available to them, leading them to feel trapped in their current situation. Helping clients explore alternative paths and possibilities can empower them to see quitting as a choice rather than a dead end.

Uncertainty about the Future: Fear of the unknown can also play a significant role in resistance to quitting. Clients may worry about what lies ahead if they choose to quit, leading them to cling to the familiarity of their current circumstances. Assisting clients in reframing uncertainty as an opportunity for growth and exploration can alleviate this fear.

External Validation: Some clients may rely heavily on external validation and approval from others. They may fear losing the admiration or respect of their peers if they choose to quit, leading them to prioritize external validation over their own well-being. Encouraging clients to cultivate self-validation and trust in their own judgment can help them overcome this obstacle.

What else should go on this list? Add your thoughts in the comments below.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

Embracing Purposeful Coaching: A New Perspective

A river flows through the centre of the image. In the background are green pine trees, apparently going all the way up the river valley's slopes. Immediatly on the banks of teh river are small bush type vergitation in autumnal shades.
The text reads: "Nature does nothing without purpose or uselessly." (Joseph Addison)

Today’s quote is:

“Nature does nothing without purpose or uselessly.” (Joseph Addison)

I’ve noticed a perception among some new coaches that everything in coaching must be meticulously planned in advance. However, that’s not my approach. For me, coaching is a conversation, and I can’t predict the other half of the dialogue before my client even speaks. While I may make educated guesses based on past interactions, it doesn’t guarantee the same outcome. Change can happen in any moment; new insights, ideas, and perspectives can emerge outside of our coaching sessions. What seemed true to a client in one session may not hold the same weight in the next.

So, how does this relate to today’s quote? I believe it challenges us to reconsider our perceptions of seemingly insignificant actions or situations within our coaching practice. Rather than dismissing them as purposeless, what if we consider that they make sense given the individual’s perspective?

What if all it takes is one fresh thought to gain a new perspective? This realisation alleviates the pressure of having to figure everything out. It’s reassuring to know that while action may be necessary, a single moment of inspiration feels much lighter.

Acknowledging the infinite possibilities around us enables us to tap into the full potential of coaching. Instead of being confined by preconceived notions, we remain open to new ideas and perspectives, essential for growth and adaptation in our field.

The quote also touches on purpose. Some clients may feel a sense of emptiness, unsure of their purpose, while others believe they have a clear direction. I invite a different perspective: What if by being your authentic self, your purpose becomes evident? What if you can bypass the stage of trying to figure it all out in advance?

These are just some of my reflections inspired by this quote. What are your thoughts on coaching related to this? Feel free to share your comments below.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

Exploring Possibilities: Navigating ‘Aha’ Moments in Coaching

The background of this image is a marbled effect, the type often found in the inside cover of a victorian book. The colours that make it up are blues and redy browns. The page is and underlying parchment shade of cream. A square is in the centre of the page with a thin black single line border set slightly inside the edge. Within this square is the text: "Great discoveries generally lead to a variety of conclusions..." (Mary Somerville)

In honour of International Day of Women and Girls in Science todays quote is from an individual describbed as the “queen of 19th-century science,”:

“Great discoveries generally lead to a variety of conclusions…” (Mary Somerville)

For me, coaching often is about discovery of possibilities for that individual. As coaches, we often find ourselves guiding clients through their own ‘aha’ moments, witnessing the spark of revelation and sometimes followed by attempts to rationalize or question a newfound insights.

Embracing the Variety of Conclusions:

The Richness of Discoveries:

Mary Somerville’s words remind us that every breakthrough is not a singular path but a gateway to a multitude of conclusions. It’s a recognition of the richness of discoveries and the potential for varied interpretations, inviting us and our clients to explore the vast landscape that opens up with each ‘aha’ moment.

That aha can fall in a range of impact it can be something that seem really ordinary and reveals a next step as something completly natural all the way through to one that hits like a tonne of bricks and momentarily feeling completly disorinatated. Apart from you may want to give a response like the latter one a moment to settle, I don’t think that one type of reaction to an insight is more importatn than another – its more about what new thought is going to have he biggest positive difference.

The ‘Yes, But…’ Syndrome:

Clients may experience a moment of clarity and insight, only to follow it up with a hesitant “yes, but…” This ‘yes, but…’ syndrome can be an indication that they are grappling with the abundance of possibilities and attempting to rationalize away the simplicity of their initial realization.

Navigating ‘Aha’ Moments as Coaches:

Creating a Safe Space:

Establishing a safe and non-judgmental space is crucial. Encourage clients to express their thoughts openly without fear of criticism. This creates an environment where they can explore the variety of conclusions that stem from their discoveries.

Unraveling ‘Yes, But…’:

When faced with a client’s ‘yes, but…’ comment, one option is to delve deeper. Explore the reasons behind their hesitations and the potential fears or uncertainties that might be surfacing is one avenue to take. At the other end of the scale is to keep the focus upon the simplicity before the conclusions. (As with all coaching conversations, we respond to what is said in that moment so it really does depend upon how the conversation evolves how I’d react to a yes but reaction.)

Clarifying the Simple Truth:

In some cases, the initial insight might be a simple truth that clients are instinctively rationalizing. Guide them to embrace the simplicity and recognize that not every revelation needs to be complicated. Sometimes, the most profound truths are elegantly straightforward.

Trusting the Process:

Building Confidence:

Help clients build confidence in their insights. Remind them that ‘aha’ moments are personal revelations, and it’s not at all uncommon to seek clarification. Reinforce the idea that their initial understanding is valid and worth exploring further.

Embracing Uncertainty as well as Possibilities:

Allowing clients to embraces uncertainty and the open-ended nature of discoveries and being OK with that is an option. It’s not at all uncommon for clients not to have considered that being uncertain in any moment is allowed! Trusting the process involves acknowledging that not all answers need to be immediate, and sometimes, the joy is in the ongoing exploration.

Conclusion:

In the dynamic landscape of coaching, ‘aha’ moments are not just moments of insight but gateways to exploration. Mary Somerville’s wisdom guides us to appreciate the variety of conclusions that follow great discoveries. As coaches, let’s navigate the ‘yes, but…’ moments with empathy, helping clients trust their insights and embrace the myriad possibilities that unfold. Happy International Day of Women and Girls in Science! May our coaching journeys be filled with the joy of discovery and the courage to explore the ever-expanding realms of knowledge.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.