The quote of the day is:

“No need to hurry. No need to sparkle. No need to be anybody but oneself.” (Virginia Woolf)

“How often have you been given the advice to just be yourself? I’m guessing that, more often than not, this advice hasn’t been particularly satisfying. Perhaps it’s because we feel pressure to meet certain expectations—to be quicker, to shine brighter, or to achieve more than we think we can on our own.

But this leads us to an important question: Who are we, really? When we consider getting out of our own way, what does that truly mean? Is it about shedding the layers of doubt and fear that hold us back?

Don’t get me wrong; not needing to hurry or sparkle doesn’t mean you’ll end up doing nothing. It simply means you don’t need to add pressure—you are already enough. If you just mentally scoffed and dismissed that idea – no, really, you are enough. You may or may not have noticed that generally when you are not caught up in lots of pressure and busy thinking that you are at your best and do your best work.

I believe this is what Virginia Woolf is pointing towards—the true self that exists beyond our thinking, those insecurities and societal pressures. In my coaching practice, I spend a lot of time guiding individuals toward this authentic self, helping them recognise that they don’t need to hurry or sparkle artificially. There’s no need to be anybody but oneself.

One of the things I did when exploring this was to decide that the way to be more myself was to focus upon being more authentic. If you like, for a bit I made being authentic another job for me to do, something that needed work and focused attention. It was an innocent misunderstanding that actually made it harder to what I was actually intending. By trying so hard to be authentic and questioning every decision, I was actually moving away from simply being myself.

The true self is the authentic you—the person you are at your core when stripped of external influences and internalised expectations. It’s the self that exists when you’re fully present, engaged, and connected with your innermost values and desires. By recognising and embracing your true self, you open the door to a life of greater fulfilment, purpose, and joy.

What if that true you is already here? It’s simply a case of noticing and listening. You will no doubt have a lot of thinking, because we all do, about what certain roles mean we should act and respond – whether that be a job title, a role such as parent, child, friend etc or how we identify such as confident, quiet, bold, or shy.

What if all those are just masks we put on, and the real self is always under all that. We’ve just simply lost sight of that and started to believe those masks that we wear is all there is to us. For me, the real self is most evident when I’m quieter in my head, when I’m absorbed in a task and everything just seems to flow without me having to intellectually think. Answers will come and nudging will be given so that I just know what to do if something needs doing.

Personally, once I started to notice those experiences, and the feeling that went with it, it became easier to listen and notice at other times, but that doesn’t mean that it is the only way to start to become increasingly aware of who you really are – I wonder how it was/will be for you?

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller is a transformative coach dedicated to empowering individuals to get out of their own way and make a meaningful impact in the world. With an impactful, nurturing coaching style, Jen supports clients in unlocking their potential and achieving their goals. As an experienced coach and trainer, she guides clients from self-doubt to success.

Discover how Jen can support you to get out of your own way here.